美利坚作文小组9.24

goback211UID: 2419259

9.24 Thebest way to travel is in a group led by the guide.

没超时还写这么多...



In modern times, traveling seems to bemore and more popular, and becomes the first choice to relax for most people.But people always find out themselves cannot arrange their traveling route anddetermine a more economical one. Though some people claim that guiders wouldmislead us to buy some more expensive and useless products, I agree with theopinion that traveling led by a guide would be more wonderful owing to itsgreat benefits. My reasons are listed as following.

As we know, guides are all capable tomake the trip interesting, especially in the long trip. They always would giveus some interesting stories and teach us how to play a new interesting games.It is the guide who help us spend the boring time on the train or bus. I canremember one of my favorite vacation after I graduated from the high school. Atthat time, I took a long journey to Sichun, which has so many resorts. But onthe train, the atmosphere was so tedious due to everyone know nothing aboutothers. But during the journey, one of our guide came out and talked with us.She told some interesting stories she had met and taught us one kind of gameswhich could help us relax. With her help, the atmosphere in the train soonbecame so pleasant and cozy. Though she was not so beautiful, she really didsomething beautiful during the journey.

There is a more factual reasons thatguide can provide us a lot of knowledge about the resorts. Almost all the guideare well-educated, and they can know almost all the historic or culturalknowledge about resorts. As we are visiting to the resorts, they can impart ussome details about the old building, the ancestors and even some old trees,which cannot be obtained in the class or observed by our own. For example, whenvisiting to the Forbidden City in Beijing,guide would give us some history and stories about the king in the past. Someof the stories would be legend, and some of them would be fact. But all of themwould help us understand the buildings more profoundly.

In addition, the guide would make ourjourney so convenient. Thanks to their plentiful experience, they would arrangeall the things for us. For instance, they can buy the tickets, book the hotel,and even reserve the meals for us. Perhaps we have the ability to do all thethings by ourselves, but it definitely would take so much time, especially whenwe are in a strange city. Moreover, when guide help us do the arduous things,they would get some discount, which also can help us save more money. We canalways notice that some guide would lead you to visit the whole Beijing in only two daysusing only 700 Yuan, which is impossible for us to imagine.

In conclusion, guide can make our journeyinteresting, meaningful, convenient and economical. Of course, it would bringsome problems, but it seems to be ignorable compared to the benefits. So Ithink the best way to travel is led by the guide.

wawabjUID: 2536676

LZ 要建设性的意见呢，压力好大。

你能在这么短时间 写这么多，真是厉害。

现在开始给建议了阿：

1、内容的构造上每一个论点稍微再清晰，差别再大点。先说最主要的理由，然后再是补充性的论点。比如我觉得那个游戏什么的那个，我个人感觉可以往后面放放，把方便和丰富的知识往前提。我个人觉得哈。

2、快速写完之后留5-7分钟， 把句子再顺一下。比如有的地方连续两句话都是 but ... but...。 可以稍微调整一下。


3、在顺句子的同时，注意时态还有单复数以及第三人称的规则。 这篇文章里面，这种问题存在哦。


That's all.~ 祝你考试好运！！！

枕头和书UID: 2578813

In modern times, traveling seems to bemore and more popular, and becomes the first choice to relax for most people.But people always find out themselves cannot arrange their traveling route anddetermine a more economical one. Though（转折词不合适） some people claim that guiders wouldmislead us to buy some more expensive and useless products, I agree with theopinion that traveling led by a guide would be more wonderful owing to itsgreat benefits. My reasons are listed as following.. y- Y- X  F/ v

5 d+ n" |* F" {As we know, guides are all capable tomake the trip interesting, especially in the long trip. They always would giveus some interesting stories and teach us how to play a new interesting games.It is the guide who help us spend the boring time on the train or bus. I canremember one of my favorite vacation after I graduated from the high school. Atthat time, I took a long journey to Sichun, which has so many resorts. But onthe train, the atmosphere was so tedious due to everyone know nothing aboutothers. But during the journey, one of our guide came out and talked with us.She told some interesting stories she had met and taught us one kind of gameswhich could help us relax. With her help, the atmosphere in the train soonbecame so pleasant and cozy.（典型的中式英语） Though she was not so beautiful, she really didsomething beautiful during the journey.
8 ]. y; |! O, N) p& H" u& X' c
% Z: h; `2 z" U5 A# ~% ~There is a more factual reasons thatguide can provide us a lot of knowledge about the resorts. Almost all the guideare well-educated, and they can know almost all（all 用的太多了！！一个其他的词替换下like every） the historic or culturalknowledge about resorts. As we are visiting to the resorts, they can impart ussome details about the old building, the ancestors and even some old trees,which cannot be obtained in the class or observed by our own. For example, whenvisiting to the Forbidden City in Beijing,guide would give us some history and stories about the king in the past. Someof the stories would be legend, and some of them would be fact. But all of themwould help us understand the buildings more profoundly.
6 E# e% R! b, m) C7 s" z& I) _: s( X' c, T' I- p
In addition, the guide would make ourjourney so convenient. Thanks to their plentiful experience, they would arrangeall the things for us. For instance, they can buy the tickets, book the hotel,and even reserve the meals for us. Perhaps we have the ability to do all thethings by ourselves, but it definitely would take so much time, especially whenwe are in a strange city. Moreover, when guide help us do the arduous things,they would get some discount, which also can help us save more money. We canalways notice that some guide would lead you to visit the whole Beijing in only two daysusing——) spendingonly 700 Yuan, which is impossible for us to imagine.
9 Q: a3 F" Z0 h( j" w
3 }  C" G6 B8 ~; X" c8 d2 ZIn conclusion, guide can make our journeyinteresting, meaningful, convenient and economical. Of course, it would bringsome problems, but it seems to be ignorable compared to the benefits. So Ithink the best way to travel is led by the guide.
中式英语好严重啊，有些词复杂的词用的有点弄巧成拙，GRE词汇里的几个词再斟酌一用吧。平时多注意练习英语习惯就好了

cinderella1016UID: 2666652

In modern times, traveling seems to be more and more popular, and becomes <has become> the first choice to relax <for relaxation> for most people. But people always find out <that> themselves <they> cannot arrange their traveling route <routes> and determine <figure out / work out> a more economical one. Though some people claim that guiders <some guides> would mislead <persuade，如果你坚持用mislead，可以用mislead sb in to doing sth> us to buy some more <多余，去掉> expensive and useless products, I agree with the opinion that traveling <这里用a trip比较好> led by a guide would be more wonderful owing to its great <many就可以，切忌乱用形容词> benefits. My reasons are listed as following <as follows>.

As we know, guides are all capable to make <capable of making，able后面接to do sth，而capable后面接of doing sth> the trip <前面是guides，后面最好用trips> interesting, especially in the long trip <long trips>. They always would <would always> give <讲故事，用tell (stories)> us some interesting stories and teach <show就可以> us how to play a <后面的games已经是复数，这里的a去掉> new interesting<前文已经有了interesting，此处建议去掉> games. It is the guide who help <helps> us spend the boring time <enjoy ourselves during the long hours spent> on the train <trains> or bus <buses>. I can remember<recall也可以> one of my favorite vacation <vacations> after I graduated from the <去掉the> high school. At that time, I took a long journey to Sichun <Sichuan>, which has<where there are> so many resorts. But on the train, the atmosphere was so tedious due to everyone know nothing about others <it was boring because we knew nothing about each other>. But during the journey, one of our guide <guides> came out <up>and talked with us. She told <us>some interesting stories she had met <come across>and taught us one kind of games which could help us relax <a game to entertain us>. With her help, the atmosphere in the train soon became so pleasant and cozy <we knew more about each other and the trip seemed more enjoyable>. Though she was not so beautiful, she really did something beautiful during the journey. <又是Chinglish，I did appreciateher efforts to liven up the atmosphere.>

There is a more factual reasons<A more practical reason is> that <a >guide can provide us <with> a lot of knowledge <information更好> about the resorts. Almost all the guide are well-educated, and they can know almost all the historic or cultural knowledge about resorts. <啰嗦，整句去掉> As we are visiting <visit，一般现在时就可以> to<visit是及物动词，to去掉> the resorts, they can impart <inform> us some details about the old building <historic buildings>, the ancestors and even some old trees, which cannot be obtained in the class or observed by our own <may be overlooked if we travel without a guide>. For example, when visiting to the Forbidden City in Beijing, guide would give us some history and stories about the king in the past <主句和从句主语应该一致，if we make a trip to Forbidden City in Beijing, the guide will tell us some stories about the kings>. Some of the stories would be legend <are made up>, and some of them would be fact <while others are true>. But all of them would help us understand the buildings more profoundly <the resort better>.

In addition, the <a> guide would make our journey so <more> convenient. Thanks to their plentiful <去掉> experience, they would arrange all the things <everything> for us. For instance, they can buy the <去掉> tickets, book the <去掉> hotel <hotels>, and even reserve the <order> meals for us. Perhaps we have the ability to do all the things <everything> by ourselves, but it definitely would take so <us> much time, especially when we are in a strange city. Moreover, when guide help us do the arduous things, they would get some discount, which also can help us save more money. We can always notice that some guide would lead you to visit the whole Beijing in only two days using only 700 Yuan, which is impossible for us to imagine.<建议删掉>

In conclusion, <a> guide can make our journey interesting, meaningful, convenient and economical. Of course, it would bring some problems, but it seems to be ignorable compared to the benefits. So I think the best way to travel is led by the guide.<Chinglish>

存在哪些问题我就不说了，楼主自己看吧~