进军美利坚作文组9.28

sharamandeUID: 2597186

同意否：一个聪明的朋友比一个幽默的朋友重要

What are characteristics could make a friend more important? The answer to this question might varies from people to people but I think intelligence and humor must be two of the options. So, which is more important of these two? In my point of view, a humorous friend is more important than an intelligent one. The reasons are as follows.

To begin with, we usually spend plenty of time being with friends in our daily life and we all want to be happy so that humor is quite crucial. When we suffer from pressure from study or work and many other kinds of unhappiness, we can resort to friends to have a brighter mood by talking to them or listening to them talking. A scientific research indicates that people are more or less influenced by the surroundings. Thus, a funny friend could spread his happy to us, that is to say, makes us happy. Take myself as an example, my best friend, Luca, is really a humorous guy and I love being with him, which is big fun. I prefer to being with him when I feel depressed rather than watching a comedy and playing computer games because I could not only release my stress by talking to him but also receive happy signals from his words.

Moreover, a friend could be an advisor but a friend is not an advisor so that intelligence is not that important compared to humor. We already have parents, teachers, job mentors, co-workers and various kinds of people to turn to for wise advice, but we should admit that being with friends we could feel more relaxed than being with those 'advisors'. For that reason, friends cannot be substituted.

In conclusion, humor is a more important characteristics than intelligence because of the advantages and need of having a humorous friend. Although it is the best to have a friend both smart and funny, I will choose humor if I have to point out only one characteristics of importance.

larcwingUID: 2528204

What (are) characteristics could make a friend more important? The answer to this question might varies from people to people(person to person) but I think intelligence and humor must be two of the options. So, which is more important of these two? In my point of view, a humorous friend is more important than an intelligent one. The reasons are as follows.
（我总感觉用which is more important?这样的问句来开头不太好，有点没事找事的嫌疑。。。你说呢？第一个问句用的不错，可以把开头简洁点）

To begin with, we usually spend plenty of time being with friends in our daily life and we all want to be happy so that humor is quite crucial. When we suffer from pressure (either comes) from study or work and(or) many other kinds of unhappiness, we can resort to friends to have a brighter mood by talking to them or listening to them talking. A scientific research indicates that people are more or less influenced by the surroundings. Thus, a funny friend could spread his happy to us, that is to say, makes us happy. Take myself as an example, my best friend, Luca, is really a humorous guy and I love being with him, which is big fun. I prefer to being with him when I feel depressed rather than watching a comedy and playing computer games because I could not only release my stress by talking to him but also receive happy signals from his words.
（TS不够简单明确，看了第一句就不明白你这段究竟要说幽默很重要是因为我们大部分时间跟朋友在一起还是我们都要快乐所以幽默很重要，这中间的逻辑没有理清楚，也因此你后面的论据都有点散乱。而且最好先说humor is crucial because….一定要先亮明主题！）

Moreover, a friend could be an advisor but a friend is not an advisor so that intelligence is not that important compared to humor. We already have parents, teachers, job mentors, co-workers and various kinds of people to turn to for wise advice, but we should admit that being with friends we could feel more relaxed than being with those 'advisors'. For that reason, friends cannot be substituted.
（与第二段一样，又是一个不称职的TS句，意思不明确。我看起来你这段的内容和我要表达的有点相似，不过我也没怎么表达好，所以给不了你很好的建议，sorry！最后一句substituted用的很棒！根据你的主题，friends前还可以加上一个humorous~~你看呢？）

In conclusion, humor is a more important characteristics than intelligence because of the advantages and need of having a humorous friend. Although it is the best to have a friend both smart and funny, I will choose humor if I have to point out only one characteristics of importance.
（总结的前一句不错，后一句基本是重复欠斟酌了。不如说Nevertheless, if we have another choice, it is will be much fortunate to have a friend both smart and funny.）

我感觉你的语法问题都是在刻意用长句的情况下才产生的，表达还需要锤炼。。。
好像说得有点严厉了，别见怪啊。。。欢迎也猛批我的文！！

sharamandeUID: 2597186

谢谢点评！很到位，关于TS的问题，的确是哎，再次感谢！
2# larcwing

半夏之北UID: 2517498

What  characteristics could make a friend more important? The answer to this question might varies from people to people but I think intelligence and humor must be two of the options. So, which is more important of these two? In my point of view, a humorous friend is more important than an intelligent one. The reasons are as follows.
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To begin with, we usually spend plenty of time being with friends in our daily life and we all want to be happy so that humor is quite crucial. When we suffer from pressure (which is either) from study or work and(or) many other kinds of unhappiness, we can resort to friends to have a brighter mood by talking to them or listening to them talking. A scientific research indicates that people are more or less influenced by the surroundings. Thus, a funny friend could spread his happy to us, that is to say, makes us happy. Take(taking) myself as an example, my best friend, Luca, is really a humorous guy and I love being with him, which is big fun. I prefer to being with him when I feel depressed rather than watching a comedy and(or)playing computer games because I could not only release my stress by talking to him but also receive happy signals from his words.. U3 ?& U: `2 Y  Y

Moreover, a friend could be an advisor but a friend is not(only) an advisor so that intelligence is not that important compared to(with) humor. We already have parents, teachers, job mentors, co-workers and various kinds of people to turn to for wise advice, but we should admit that being with friends we could feel more relaxed than being with those 'advisors'. For that reason, friends cannot be substituted.. V* M% Q- i. z7 }, t

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In conclusion, humor is a more important characteristics than intelligence because of the advantages and need of having a humorous friend. Although it is the best to have a friend both smart and funny, I will choose humor if I have to point out only one characteristics of importance.
评的比较晚了，不好意思哈~~
句法和用词都很好。但是第二段和第三段的中心句不明显，结尾的话感觉可以总结一下幽默朋友的优点