进军美利坚作文组10.1

sharamandeUID: 2597186

Good looks and dresses are more important for success than good ideas. Agree or disagree?


We have to admit that we human beings are readily attracted by good appearances including good looks and dresses. However not only we have eyes to watch, but also we have brains to think. Although good appearances and good ideas are both essentiall to success, I agree with the statement that good ideas are more crucial to success than good looks and dresses.

To begin with, it is human's great thought that bring our society to such an advanced level now other than a good look. The society develops as we try to fulfill our ideas. The history of human's development is replete with such examples. For instance, we want to fly like birds so we invented planes. We don't want to live in darkness at night so we invented candles and eventually electricity and lamps. Without effort, we could not make a success, but without originally good ideas, we could achieve nothing. Nature will not give you planes and electricity just because you are handsome or beautiful, so good looks is not so essential as good ideas.

Moreover, thinking is one of the most valuable ability we human beings possess, but good appearance is not one 'ability'. We are born as what we look like and it is determined by genes. However we all know that one's success is not determined by genes as s/he comes to this world, one could struggle and be success in the end. Thus, it is clear that one's effort is more important than his/her appearance. Furthermore, if we just spend our whole life in fulfilling other peoples' thoughts, we cannot succeed ourselves because all we do is just helping others succeed. Looking around, those people who are labeled as success, they all have one common feature, thoughtful. They all have their unique, amazing ideas that might involve in society's problems or great possibilities about the future. The success of Bill Gates and 'Windows' is a good example to illustrate this. Bill seized his idea about computers and became one of the wealthiest man in the world now.

Admittedly, good looks help in the process of struggle to success since one could impresses people in a positive way at first meet due to his/her good looks and dresses, but this effect is limited and not necessary.

To sum up, good ideas are far more crucial for success than good looks and dresses not only because good ideas help the society progress but also thinking up good ideas are the most valuable ability nature favors us.

doubledianUID: 2661760

Good looks and dresses are more important for success than good ideas. Agree or disagree?' F6 i: b& h0 ^4 J
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We have to admit that we human beings are readily attracted by good appearances including good looks and dresses. However not only we have eyes to watch, but also we have brains to think. Although good appearances and good ideas are both essentiall（拼写错误） to success, I agree with the statement that good ideas are more crucial to success than good looks and dresses.

To begin with, it is human's great thought that bring our society to such an advanced level （advanced level这俩个词连起来好像不是你要表达的意思，你查查） now other than（是rather than吧） a good look. The society develops as we try to fulfill our ideas. The history of human's development is replete with such examples. For instance, we want to fly like birds so we invented planes. We don't want to live in darkness at night so we invented candles and eventually electricity and lamps. Without effort, we could not make a（去掉a） success, but without originally good ideas, we could achieve nothing. Nature will not give you planes and electricity just because you are handsome or beautiful, so good looks is（are） not so essential as good ideas.
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Moreover, thinking is one of the most valuable ability we human beings possess, but good appearance is not one 'ability'. We are born as what we look like and it is determined by genes. However we all know that one's success is not determined by genes as s/he comes to this world, one could struggle and be success in the end. Thus, it is clear that one's effort is more important than his/her appearance. Furthermore, if we just spend our whole life in fulfilling other peoples' thoughts, we cannot succeed ourselves because all we do is just helping others succeed. Looking around, those people who are labeled as（这个地方是by还是as啊？建议查一下） success, they all have one common feature, （我认为加个namely比较好）thoughtful. They all have their unique（这是个adj，不能这么用）, amazing ideas that might involve in society's problems or great possibilities about the future. The success of Bill Gates and 'Windows' is a good example to illustrate this. Bill seized his idea about computers and became one of the wealthiest man（men） in the world now." \1 i- D. H. h0 ~; \' P0 [: c

Admittedly, good looks help in the process of struggle to success since one could impresses people in a positive way at first meet due to his/her good looks and dresses, but this effect is limited and not necessary.
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To sum up, good ideas are far more crucial for success than good looks and dresses not only because good ideas help the society progress but also thinking up good ideas are the most valuable ability nature favors us.
这篇作文给我整体印象就是，思路清晰，尤其例子举得很好，感觉词汇量也挺多的，存在一些小的错误。因为我自己的作文水平不高，语法知识不好，所以可能有些错误没有发现，或者把对的改错了，但是我尽力了，希望继续努力

scarlettzfUID: 2594692

We have to admit that we human beings are readily attracted by good appearances including good looks and dresses. However（前后两句的转折成分有点弱。而且后面一句话是什么意思呢?没太懂~~） not only we have eyes to watch, but also we have brains to think. Although good appearances and good ideas are both essentiall to success, I agree with the statement that good ideas are more crucial to success than good looks and dresses.
第一段写的简明扼要，但是，感觉没有说充分，建议你用一句话概括出people为什么看重appearance，然后再转折说出你的观点。还有第一段最好能映射出全篇的结构出来。

To begin with, it is （the） human's great thought that bring(brings) our society to such an advanced level now other (rather,不太清楚用OTHER行不行) than a good look. The society develops as we try to fulfill our ideas. The history of human's development is replete with such examples. For instance, we want to fly like birds so we invented planes（前后时态最好一致）. We don't want to live in darkness at night so we invented candles and eventually electricity and lamps. Without effort, we could not make a（success 是可数名词么？） success, but without originally（original） good ideas, we could achieve nothing. Nature will not give you planes and electricity just because you are handsome or beautiful, so good looks is not so essential as good ideas.

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Moreover, thinking is one of the most valuable ability(abilities) we human beings possess, but good appearance is not one 'ability'. We are born as what we look like and it is determined by genes. However we all know that one's success is not determined by genes as s/he comes to this world,(两句用句号相隔) one could struggle and be success in the end. Thus, it is clear that one's effort is more important than his/her appearance. Furthermore, if we just spend our whole life in fulfilling other peoples' thoughts, we cannot succeed ourselves because all we do is just helping others succeed. Looking around, those people who are labeled as success（label是及物动词吧，可以直接labeled success）, they all have one common feature,(:) thoughtful. They all have their unique, amazing ideas that might involve in society's problems or great possibilities about the future. The success of Bill Gates and 'Windows' is a good example to illustrate this. Bill seized his idea about computers and became one of the wealthiest man in the world now.0 f% b' j) ~, {2 @
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Admittedly, good looks help in the process of struggle to success since one could impresses(impress) people in a positive way at (the)first meet due to his/her good looks and dresses, but this effect is limited and not necessary.

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To sum up, good ideas are far more crucial for success than good looks and dresses not only because good ideas help the society progress but also thinking up good ideas are the most valuable ability nature favors us.
整体感觉不错。改些小语病，还有就是每段的第一句的概括力再加强。

scarlettzfUID: 2594692

还有关于口语的那个问题，额呵呵~~汗~~我以为那个阅读材料是会出现的，所以。。。