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[活动] 进军美利坚作文组-10。5号 [复制链接]

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发表于 2009-10-5 23:08:20 |显示全部楼层
10.5一年至少上课11个月,可以更好更有效地学习。同意这种说法吗?
students have too much study duty and homework to do during the 2 semeters
students throw themselves into enjoying the long holiday so deeply that they are not easy to get used to the study quickly in new semester.

Nowadays students study for 9 months, and take summer and winter holidays for 3 months in total. Many people who hold the opinion that students have so much study work and are in such a heavy burden view that students should enjoy the vocation as much as possible to have a big rest. While other people believe that students should have classes at least for 11 months to study better and more effectively.As far as I am concerned, I side with the latter one.

To begin with, students have too much study duty and homework to do during the two semesters, and they are actually in large pressure. For instance, in high middle school, students have nine courses which contain at least nine books. They have to grab the knowledge all widely and deeply enough to keep competetion in the admission exam of college. On the same time, the nine courses all have homework, and studing courses consume a great amount of time. Each of the teachers in each subject says that if only you spend enough time you can have the fruit come out. No doubt, time is limited, so students have no other means but work harder and harder, such as staying up and getting up early to avoid falling behind other students.However this is not good for students' mental and physical development. But if school could extend the time to eleven months acquire the same amount knowledge in nine months, It is believed that students would relieve a great deal of burden from it. What is more, they may even have more time to take part in some public activities to improve their interpersonal and communication skill, which is very important for the rapidly developing society.

On the other hand, During three months, students throw themselves into having fun so deeply that It is not easy for them to get used to the study quickly in new semester.After a heavy burden and hard-working semester, the holiday finally comes to students.They are so eager to have a big rest, and enjoy themselves that they may forget all of the studying issues in such a long holiday. No doubt that so many students can not get used to study at the first few days or even weeks in a new semester, since they are so plunged in the relaxation and happy time. Meanwhile, students take a long vocation with family or friends, exposing themselves to the heavy traffic or sunshined sand, which may also increase the number of accident. It is stated that in the past five years there has been a sharp rise in the rate of travelling accident.Therefore, since no matter long vocation or short vocation can serve as a means to help students relax and relieve the pressure from study, taking a short vocation can definetely assist students to get accustomed to study quickly and diminish the rate of travelling accident.

To sum up, by virtue of both studying effectively and taking holiday efficiently, I am supportive of the idea that it is essential for school to have classes for eleven months.

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发表于 2009-10-6 03:06:34 |显示全部楼层
本帖最后由 hydrus 于 2009-10-6 03:42 编辑

students have too much study duty and homework to do during the 2 semeters
students throw themselves into enjoying the long holiday so deeply that they are not easy to get used to the study quickly in new semester.  这句感觉有点头重脚重。students tend to enjoy the long holiday so much that they are not willing to return to study in the new semester.

Nowadays students study for 9 months, and take summer and winter holidays for 3 months in total. Many people who hold the opinion that students have so much study work and are in such a heavy burden(这里好像有点繁琐heavy burden such as incoming examination, intensive homework, extra reading materials....) view that students should enjoy the vocation as much as possible to have a big rest. While other people believe that students should have classes at least for 11 months to study better and more effectively(learn more).As far as I am concerned, I side with the latter one.

To begin with, students have too much study duty and homework to do during the two semesters, and they are actually in large pressure. For instance, in high middle school, students have nine courses which contain at least nine books. They have to grab the knowledge all widely and deeply enough to keep competetion in the admission exam of college. On the same time, (all)the nine courses all have homeworks, and studing courses consume a great amount of time. Each of the teachers in each subject says that only if you spend enough time you can have the fruit come out. No doubt, time is limited, so students have no other means(choices) but work harder and harder, such as staying up and getting up early to avoid falling behind other students.However this is not good for students' mental and physical development. But if school could extend the time to eleven months acquire the same amount knowledge in nine months, It is believed that students would relieve a great deal of burden from it. What is more, they may even have more time to take part in some public activities to improve their interpersonal and communication skill, which is very important for the rapidly developing society. 这段感觉有些小毛病,主要的是我觉得最好是把主题句放在第一句来讲,我也是看到最后才知道你要表达的意思的,It is better to extend the 9 months study to 11 months since the current study period is not long enough for every student to catch up with intensive courses and homeworks.... Actually.... for instance.... Hence, if ... students would have more spare time to involve in social activities which ultimately improve their communicational and interpersonal skills....these skills are quite important to ...

On the other hand, During three months, students throw themselves into having fun so deeply that It is not easy for them to get used to the study quickly in new semester.After a heavy burden and hard-working semester, the holiday finally comes to students.They are so eager to have a big rest, and enjoy themselves that they may forget all of the studying issues in such a long holiday. No doubt that so many students can not get used to study at the first few days or even weeks in a new semester, since they are so plunged in the relaxation and happy time. Meanwhile, students take a long vocation with family or friends, exposing themselves to the heavy traffic or sunshined sand, which may also increase the number of accident. It is stated that in the past five years there has been a sharp rise in the rate of travelling accident.Therefore, since no matter long vocation or short vocation can serve as a means to help students relax and relieve the pressure from study, taking a short vocation can definetely assist students to get accustomed to study quickly and diminish the rate of travelling accident.(这句后面意思有点不通,a short vacation is better in terms of its effect in diminishing the rate  of travelling accidents as well as urging the students to be well prepared for the new semester.)

To sum up, by virtue of both studying effectively and taking holiday efficiently, I am supportive of the idea that it is essential for school to have classes for eleven months. 结尾有点草了。

两个理由很不错的,也有展开,学习~~~这篇估计lz写得有些快了。。。

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发表于 2009-10-6 08:40:52 |显示全部楼层
; g0 b6 |! L6 i( F/ t* P7 W! ~6 }5 |, y, x2 R/ m7 j7 j4 \5 e+ cNowadays students study for 9 months, and take summer and winterholidays for 3 months in total. Many people who hold the opinion thatstudents have so much study work and are in such a heavy burden viewthat students should enjoy the vocation as much as possible to have abig rest. While other people believe that students should have classesat least for 11 months to study better and more effectively.As far as Iam concerned, I side with the latter one.! N1 I( f" C+ X/ d) ~( w' U

) P* [. _- N. a" y! B1 F7 p0 `4 ?Tobegin with, students have too much study duty and homework to do duringthe two semesters, and they are actually in large pressure. Forinstance, in high middle school, students have nine courses whichcontain at least nine books. They have to grab the knowledge all widelyand deeply enough to keep competetion in the admission exam of college.On(at)the same time, the nine courses all have homework, and studingcourses consume a great amount of time. Each of the teachers in each(every)subject says that if only you spend enough time you can have the fruitcome out. (Undoubbtedly)No doubt, time is limited, so students have no other meansbut work harder and harder, such as staying up (at night)and getting up early toavoid falling behind other students.However this is not good forstudents' mental and physical development. But if school could extendthe time to eleven months acquire the same amount knowledge in ninemonths, It is believed that students would relieve a great deal ofburden from it. What is more, they may even have more time to take partin some public activities to improve their interpersonal andcommunication skill(skills), which is very important for the rapidly developingsociety.. }; C4 {, A. k$ X. I
" f7 u6 }0 R! S4 |2 _; ~# A
On the other hand, During three months, students throw themselves intohaving fun so deeply that It is not easy for them to get used to thestudy quickly in new semester.After a heavy burden and hard-workingsemester, the holiday finally comes to students.They are so eager tohave a big rest(relaxation), and enjoy themselves that they may forget all of thestudying issues in such a long holiday. (It is no doubt)No doubt that so many studentscan not get used to study at the first few days or even weeks in a newsemester, since they are so plunged in the relaxation and happy time.Meanwhile, students take a long vocation with family or friends,exposing themselves to the heavy traffic or sunshined sand, which mayalso increase the number of accident. It is stated that in the pastfive years there has been a sharp rise in the rate of travellingaccident.Therefore, since no matter long vocation or short vocation canserve as a means to help students relax and relieve the pressure fromstudy, taking a short vocation can definetely assist students to getaccustomed to study quickly and diminish the rate of travellingaccident.9 [. s3 Z7 a7 \  s4 ]" m2 h$ p
" M" h) B: F* k
To sum up, by virtue of both studying effectively and taking holidayefficiently, I am supportive of the idea that it is essential forschool to have classes for eleven months.

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发表于 2009-10-6 08:41:33 |显示全部楼层
语言流畅,论证到位,不错

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发表于 2009-10-6 17:32:22 |显示全部楼层
students have too much study duty and homework to do during the two semeters(semesters)
students throw themselves into enjoying the long holiday so deeply that they are not easy to get used to the study quickly in new semester.

Nowadays students study for 9 months, and take summer and winter holidays for 3 months in total. Many people who hold the opinion that students have so much study work and are in such a heavy burden view that students(they) should enjoy the vocation as much as possible to have a big rest. While other people(others比other people更好) believe that students(those young men) should have classes at least for 11 months to study better(get a high mark) and more effectively.As far as I am concerned, I side with the latter one.(side with用得不错)

To begin with, students have too much study duty and homework to do during the two semesters(和第一段重复), and they are actually in large pressure(under colossal pressure). For instance, in high middle school, students have nine courses which contain at least nine books. They have to grab the knowledge all widely and deeply enough to keep competetion (competent)in the admission exam of college. On(At) the same time, the nine courses all have homework(course has homework?要再斟酌一下), and studing(studying) courses consume a great amount of time. Each of the teachers in each subject says that if only(only if) you spend enough time you can have the fruit come out. No doubt, time is limited, so(文中so太多,此处可换为consequently) students have no other means but work harder and harder, such as staying up and getting up early to avoid falling behind other students.However this is not good for students' mental and physical development. But if school could extend the time to eleven months acquire the same amount knowledge in nine months, It is believed that students would relieve a great deal of burden from it. What is more, they may even have more time to take part in some public activities to improve their interpersonal and communication skill(skills), which is very important(crucial) for the rapidly developing society.
On the other hand, During three months, students throw themselves into having fun so deeply that It is not easy for them to get used to(fit in with) the study quickly in the new semester.After a heavy burden and a hard-working semester, the holiday finally comes to students.They are so eager to have a big rest, and enjoy themselves so that they may forget all of the studying issues in such a long holiday. No doubt that so many students can not get used to study at the first few days or even weeks in a new semester, since they are so plunged in the relaxation and happy time. Meanwhile, students take a long vocation with family or friends, exposing themselves to the heavy traffic or sunshined sand, which may also increase the number of accident. It is stated that in the past five years there has been a sharp rise in the rate of travelling accident.Therefore, since no matter long vocation or short vocation can serve as a means to help students relax and relieve the pressure from study, taking a short vocation can definetely assist students to get accustomed to study quickly and diminish the rate of travelling accident.

To sum up, by virtue of both studying effectively and taking holiday efficiently, I am supportive of the idea that it is essential for school to have classes for eleven months.
总体不错,特别是后面写得很好,对观点的论证也很详细,但so,study和students出现太多,推荐你百度一下关于“托福作文换词”的文章,可以让文章更出彩。

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RE: 进军美利坚作文组-10。5号 [修改]

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