16号作文作业

hmnsunUID: 2653457

Will people have more leisure time in the future?

Nowadays, as the development of science and technology, the work efficiency of human are dramatically improved, to such a exciting level that is seems that few and less time will be needed in the future for people to tackle with their work. With this promising advantage, some may optimistically draw the conclusion that people are surely to possess more leisure time in the future. However, things seem to be different from what they prospect.

First of all, people need to spend more and more effort to deal with new problems that threaten our human beings. High level has our civilization been prospered to, there are always new issues that accompany the development of our world. These new problems , including the explosion of population, the deterioration of the environment and the crisis of energy, are challenging the achievement and ability of human so much that we must afford much more work and effort to conquer them. For example, with the achievement of modern medicine, many diseases which were once beyond our control can now be cured. However, more and more new diseases that cannot be cured advent, imposing new threaten to our health and lives. These diseases needs more medical study and research to treat, sparing no extra leisure time to doctors. So as to see, new problems and challenges are always on our front way, waiting for us to work with, leaving us no more extra leisure time to enjoy.

What is more, the desire of human for better life always keeps us on the way working for it. One of the most important aim of our development is to improve the quality of our lives. And there seems no bounds to the desire of human. The better we are enjoying, the more we require. So we have to work more hard to satisfy our exploring desire. That means the due leisure time is substituted by the pursuing for better life.

Thousands of years ago, our ancestors may also possess the same point that human could enjoy more leisure time someday. But we, now in the twenty-first century, seem to experience an opposite situation, not with more leisure time, but confused with more problems. So we can see that the enjoyment of more leisure time is just a fantasy imagination despite the processing of the society.

fish1044UID: 2190500

    Nowadays, as the development of science and technology, the work efficiency of human are dramatically improved,（不需要逗号） to such a exciting level that is（it） seems that few and less time will be needed in the future for people to tackle with their work. With this promising advantage, some may optimistically draw the conclusion that people are surely to possess more leisure time in the future. However, things seem to be different from what they （are）prospect. 4 w3 U. S5 i) @( X5 q; {3 b
" C9 U" p$ `7 J0 ^" c# \8 G
   
    First of all, people need to spend more and more effort(spend more effort???) to deal with new problems that threaten our human beings. High level has our civilization been prospered to, (这句话的主语应该也是high level)there are always new issues that accompany the development of our world. These new problems , including the explosion of population, the deterioration of the environment and the crisis of energy, are challenging the achievement and ability of human so much that we must afford(用devote会不会好一点？) much more work and effort to conquer them. For example, with the achievement of modern medicine, many diseases which were once beyond our control can now be cured. However, more and more new diseases that cannot be cured advent, imposing new threaten to our health and lives. These diseases needs more medical study and research to treat, sparing no extra leisure time to doctors. So as to see, new problems and challenges are always on our front way, waiting for us to work with, leaving us no more extra leisure time to enjoy.（例子不是很具体，到底是什么diseases？为什么控制一个会有更多的出来？让人很迷惑）; p0 \; C& F+ R! G


What is more, the desire of human for better life always keeps us on the way working for it. One of the most important aim of our development(这里想表达什么东西？) is to improve the quality of our lives. And there seems no bounds to the desire of human.(这句话很别扭) The better we are enjoying, the more we require. So we have to work more hard（harder） to satisfy our exploring desire. That means the due leisure time is substituted by the pursuing for better life.(这段没有例子支撑啊) 6 J* i% S+ O) \


Thousands of years ago, our ancestors may also possess the same point that human could enjoy more leisure time someday. But we, now in the twenty-first century, seem to experience an opposite situation, not with more leisure time, but confused with more problems. So we can see that the enjoyment of more leisure time is just a fantasy imagination despite the processing of the society.(我觉得结尾段倒是很不错的)

总结一下，英语表达还是不错，用了很多修饰性的词语和句式。但是这些句式的使用过于频繁，在不需要用很复杂单词表示的时候也换上了不常见单词，让人觉得有点show off的感觉。
文章结构上很清晰，观点也很鲜明，就是例子稍微有点逊色。

总体水平还是比较高，加油。

shirley072UID: 2712200

Nowadays, as the development of science and technology, thework efficiency of human are dramatically improved, to such a exciting levelthat is seems that few and less time will be needed in the future for people totackle with their work (It is seems that…觉得这里用倒装与前面的句子不是很连贯)
. Withthis promising advantage, some may optimistically draw the conclusion thatpeople are surely to possess more leisure time in the future. However, thingsseem to be different from what they prospect (expect).

First of all, people need to spend more and more effort to deal with new problems thatthreaten our human beings. High level has our civilization been prospered to,there are always new issues that accompany the development of our world. Thesenew problems , including the explosion of population, the deterioration of theenvironment and the crisis of energy, are challenging the achievement and abilityof human so much that we must afford much more work and effort to conquer them.For example, with the achievement of modern medicine, many diseases whichwere once beyond our control can now be cured(结构要简单点).
However, more and more(可以用一些其他的形容词,比如increasing啊等) new diseases that cannot becured advent, imposing new threaten to our health and lives. These diseasesneeds(need) more medical study and research totreat, sparing no extra leisure time to doctors. So as to see, new problems andchallenges are always on our front way(?),
waiting for us to work with, leaving us no more extraleisure time to enjoy
(整个句子的结构不是特别好).
What is more, thedesire of human for better life always keeps us on the way working forit. One of the most important aim (aims) ofour development is to improve the quality of our lives. And there seems no boundsto the desire of human. The better we are enjoying, the more we require. Sowe have to work more hard (harder) tosatisfy our exploring desire. That means the due leisure time is substituted bythe pursuing for better life. (这一段阐述稍微少了点)
Thousandsof years ago, our ancestors may also possess the same point that human couldenjoy more leisure time someday. But we, now in the twenty-first century, seemto experience an opposite situation, not with more leisure time, but confusedwith more problems. So we can see that the enjoyment of more leisure time isjust a fantasy imagination despite the processing of the society.

文章的结构思路都很清晰，主要是很多句子的结构稍微有点堆砌，读起来不是很顺畅

改得不好请指正：）