[进军美利坚] lmsleeper作文专贴（从10.17起）

lmsleeperUID: 2559158

12.25 independent writing

Getting a university education is the most important factor to be successful in life

Nowadays, influenced by the global financial crisis, more and more graduates of university failed in job hunting. Basing on this situation, arguments about the importance of university education arises. Is the university education actually necessary for the success in life today? In my opinion, however, university education is still one of the indispensable elements for the success in life nowadays. The reasons are as follow.

University education provides essential knowledge about our career, which contributes a lot for our success in the future. In the modern society, to achieve success in any field, we all need fundamental acknowledge about this field. For instance, to be successful in medicine, we need basic knowledge in chemistry, math, and physics etc. Besides, we also need advanced knowledge about anatomy, pharmacy, and diagnosis etc. How could we image someone can get all of these knowledge out of the university? As to other fields, the situation is similar. Hardly do we hear about any illiterate person who gets success in any field. The university is the best place to get these acknowledge for common youth. So, getting a university education is necessary for people who want to be successful in today's society.

Furthermore, university education, which brings us not only the lessons about the courses but also more chance to contact the top experts in various fields and get the newest information about our majors, utterly benefits our success. Most of the top experts in diverse fields are in universities. And the universities have the most advanced system to get the newest information about various scientific fields. As evidence, according to an investigation published in the journal of Science last year, 87 percent of the experts in rank of top 100 of their fields work in university, and every year 79 percent of the invention attribute to institutes in universities. Therefore, when we get a chance to get in the university, we get the chance to utilize those outstanding resources-- plenty of experts and information. That is one of our advantages to get success beyond people without university education.

To sum up, getting a university education, we could get both fundamental knowledge and advanced information about our majors. That will help us to be successful in life, compared with people who have no university education. Word Count: 379

zhhmt86UID: 2288538

16# lmsleeper

Nowadays, influenced by the global financial crisis, more and more （越来越多有个很好的词组：A increasing number of ）graduates of university failed in job hunting. Basing on this situation, arguments about the importance of university education arises. Is the university education actually necessary for the success in life today? In my opinion, however, university education is still one of the indispensable elements for the success in （加个one’s如何？个人意见）life nowadays. The reasons are as follow.
开头写的很赞，结合实际状况，衔接自然，句式丰富，学习了，我的开头基本都是套话了。

University education provides essential knowledge about our careers, which contributes a lot for our success in the future. In the modern society, to achieve success in any field, we all need fundamental acknowledge（knowledge）about this field. For instance, to be successful in medicine, we need basic knowledge in chemistry, math, and physics etc. Besides, we also need advanced knowledge about anatomy, pharmacy, and diagnosis etc. How could we image someone can get all of these knowledge out of the university? As to other fields, the situation is similar. Hardly do we hear about any illiterate person who gets success in any field. The university is the best place to get these acknowledge（knowledge） for common youth. So, getting a university education is necessary for people who want to be successful in today's society.
这段也很好，层次很分明，步步递进，尤其是关于知识的叙述，从fundamental到advanced，思维严谨，后面的倒装句也用的的贴切，学习之。

Furthermore, university education, which brings us not only the lessons about the courses but also more chance to contact the top experts in various fields and get the newest information about our majors, utterly benefits our success. Most of the top experts in diverse fields are in universities. And the universities have the most advanced system to get the newest information about various scientific fields. As evidence（看起来有点怪，不确定是不是用法不对，个人看法，我们可以讨论下哈）, according to an investigation published in the journal of Science last year, 87 percent of the experts in rank of top 100 of their fields work in university, and every year 79 percent of the invention attribute to institutes in universities. Therefore, when we get a chance to get in the university, we get the chance to utilize those outstanding resources-- plenty of experts and information. That is one of our advantages to get success beyond people without university education.

To sum up, getting a university education, we could get both fundamental knowledge and advanced information about our majors. That will help us to be successful in life, compared with people who have no university education.

写的很好哈，逻辑清晰，首尾呼应，论证的很好，lz应该是理科生吧，对了，关于让步论证，我其实也想过，我当时也觉得有些不妥，不过还是想试试看自己能不能掌控的了，结果很不幸，杯具了，（主要是看了戴云的作文笔记，里面说好作文时五段式，但也有人说其实好作文就是3段就够了）

不知道lz有没有什么自己的看法，赐教哈。

改的晚了，抱歉哈。