10.20作文

melody106UID: 2559573

With the competition in society become more and more fierce(fierce), people are inclined to give priority to their careers, savings, and houses while cooking food for themselves tend to get less attention. Although some people argue that cooking could be an excellent entertainment for modern people, we can not deny that cooking food definitely consumes much time than eat out. Therefore, I believe that people will spend more time on other things rather than cooking for themselvs.(themsevles)

First, more and more pressures of surviving in such a demanding society drive people to keep running on their work just like clocks. They have to try their best to find a decent job with salary high enough to pay for the house laon,(loan) behave well enough in work in order to flatter their bosses to offer them promotions, and even squeeze little time to spend with their children and parents to smooth the relations with families. Perthetic (pathetic) modern people are too tired to cook food everyday which like a battle every minute. As a result, they would like to eat out or hire someone cook for them so that they could save some precious time for resting.

Furthermore, people who are under such huge pressures require comprehensive nutrition more eagerly than ever before. A thoughtful cook turn(turns) to be a sort of saver for their poor health conditions. In the meantime, numerous restraints(restaurants) realized(realized) that there is a promising blank spot in marketing and hurried to research and develop food fit for white-collars, teachers and workers. There is various prepared lunch and dinner to choose which could not only save their time but improve their physical situations as well. Why not they involve in this life style?

Another reason need mentioned is that even though people love cooking daily for themselves, there are hundreds of semi-prepared food material waiting for them in every supermarket. These cheap, clean and time-saving stuff absolutely take up less time to cook. My mom is just one of the housewives who are fond of these semi-prepared food material for its convient(convenient) merits.

All in all, cooking food turn to be a kind of professional work which should take the resposibility (responsibility)to save time of people and provide more delicious and nutrient food for people. While normal people could enjoy the time saved from cooking. I am convinced that it would be better for future people and I am look forward to these change coming.
为了长记性，把若干拼错的词标出来了。又超时，555.

fanfan0502UID: 2439300

With the competition in society become (becoming) more and more fierce(fierce), people are inclined to give priority to their careers, savings, and houses while cooking food for (这个for应该可以去掉) themselves tend to get less attention. Although some people argue that cooking could be an excellent entertainment for modern people, we can not deny that cooking food definitely consumes much time than eat out. Therefore, I believe that people will spend more time on other things rather than cooking for themselvs.(themsevles)


First, more and more pressures of surviving in such a demanding society drive people to keep running on their work just like clocks. They have to try their best to find a decent job with salary high enough to pay for the house laon,(loan) behave well enough in work in order to flatter their bosses to offer them promotions, and even squeeze little time to spend with their children and parents to smooth the relations (smooth用的好，第一次见呢，学习~) with families. Perthetic (pathetic) modern people are too tired to cook food everyday which like a battle every minute (which从句用这里好像不对，which指代名词/代词，这里cook food是动词). As a result, they would like to eat out or hire someone to cook for them so that they could save some precious time for resting.


Furthermore, people who are under such huge pressures require comprehensive nutrition more eagerly than ever before. A thoughtful cook turn(turns) to be a sort of saver for their poor health conditions. In the meantime, numerous restraints(restaurants) realized(realized) that there is a promising blank spot in marketing and hurried to research and develop food fit for white-collars, teachers and workers. There is various prepared lunch and dinner to choose which could not only save their time but improve their physical situations as well. (写作中这样搭配不对吧~还是but also吧) Why not they involve in this life style?



Another reason need be mentioned is that even though people love cooking daily for themselves, there are hundreds of semi-prepared food material waiting for them in every supermarket. These cheap, clean and time-saving stuff absolutely take up less time to cook. My mom is just one of the housewives who are fond of these semi-prepared food material for its convient(convenient) merits.
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All in all, cooking food turn to be a kind of professional work which should take the resposibility (responsibility)to save time of people and provide more delicious and nutrient food for people. While normal people could enjoy the time saved from cooking. I am convinced that it would be better for future people and I am look forward to these changes coming.

文章结构很清晰，语法错误较少，楼主一些词也用的很好
但个人感觉，楼主写的字数很长，其实可以写短点，语言再精炼些。我也有表义重复啰唆的毛病，楼主比我还好些，一起改进！
楼主要帮我回改哦，多给我提些建议！多谢！

lupiscesUID: 2231942

With the competition in society become more and more fierce(fierce), people are inclined to give priority to their careers, savings, and houses while cooking food for themselves tend to get less attention. Although some people argue that cooking could be an excellent entertainment for modern people, we can not deny that cooking food definitely consumes much time than eat（eating） out. Therefore, I believe that people will spend more time on other things rather than cooking for themselvs.(themsevles)


First, more and more pressures of surviving in such a demanding society drive people to keep running on their work just like clocks. They have to try their best to find a decent job with salary high enough to pay for the house laon,(loan) behave well enough in work in order to flatter their bosses to offer them promotions, and even squeeze little time to spend with their children and parents to smooth the relations with families. Perthetic (pathetic) modern people are too tired to cook food everyday which like a battle every minute. As a result, they would like to eat out or hire someone cook for them so that they could save some precious time for resting.（rest就是名词了）

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Furthermore, people who are under such huge pressures require comprehensive nutrition more eagerly(用eager有点怪) than ever before. A thoughtful cook turn(turns) to be a sort of saver for their poor health conditions. In the meantime, numerous restraints(restaurants) realized(realized) that there is a promising blank spot in marketing and hurried to research and develop food fit for white-collars, teachers and workers. There is various prepared lunch and dinner to choose which could not only save their time but improve their physical situations as well. Why not they involve in this life style?
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Another reason need mentioned（need是动词原形，不能修饰reason） is that even though people love cooking daily for themselves, there are hundreds of semi-prepared food material waiting for them in every supermarket. These cheap, clean and time-saving stuff absolutely take up less time to cook. My mom is just one of the housewives who are fond of these semi-prepared food material for its convient(convenient) merits. （convenience就可以了）

0 W# {$ v: l, l- _  ^All in all, cooking food turn to be a kind of professional work which should take the resposibility (responsibility)to save time of people and provide more delicious and nutrient food for people. While normal people could enjoy the time saved from cooking. I am convinced that it would be better for future people and I am look forward to these change coming.(用所有格's coming)

有些用词还是不错，但是语法错误有点多
有些用词还有句式很Chinglish，感觉是中文按顺序翻译过来的
继续加油！