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[活动] [进军美利坚作文组] liberly的作文-10月30号 [复制链接]

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发表于 2009-10-30 23:06:07 |显示全部楼层
本帖最后由 liberly 于 2009-10-30 23:45 编辑

10月30号的作文,第一次交作业…明天国安就要夺冠了…各种心潮澎湃


If personal preference could be considered as a criterion,i would rather like to hold my standpoint to support the idea that a new center for agriculture research would be more proper for my country.Generally,i choose an agriculture research center because in my opinion,a new agriculture research center will bring more benefit for people of my country.I would like to illustrate some reasons and examples as following to support my viewpoint.



First of all,since our country is located in an area of farm belt,a agriculture may be more proper,new research center of farming will benefit people of my country in several ways.For example,this farming research center will bring us new productive specieses of crops,so farmers of my country may get much more annual harvest.Besides that,more job will also be provided by this research center.Generally,the area around my country have not so much businesses and factories and most residents in this area are farmers.Thus,it is no doubt that the new productive specieses of crops and opportunities of jobs which the a farming research center will provide to my country really mean a lot our people.



Moreover,because the soil of this area is proper for developing agriculture,it could also be proper for an agriculture research center.As far as i can say,it is really a good  way of land utilizing to set a agriculture research center in this farm belt.Meanwhile,the new specieses of crops,which will be developed by this center,will suit to be planted in the soil of area,thus farmers may get relatively higher harvest.



On the flip side,a new business research center may also benefit the residents of my country by providing jobs,but as a research center of business,which have not so much work to do other than researching,it could not provide as much opportunities as a agriculture research center,and the jobs of a business research center may be not as proper as the jobs of a farming research center for people in my country to do.



At last,i would like to draw a conclusion that,for my country,a research center of farming is more proper than a business research center.Due to all the merits of a agriculture research center.If a research center will be located here,then there could not be better option other than an a research center of agriculture.

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发表于 2009-10-30 23:36:43 |显示全部楼层
那个……我先自己挑个毛病……急着发,所有的I都忘了大写…………

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发表于 2009-10-31 14:42:29 |显示全部楼层
本帖最后由 heqiang_1001 于 2009-10-31 15:13 编辑

If personal preference could be considered as a criterion,i would rather like to hold my standpoint to support the idea that a new center for agriculture research would be more proper for my country.Generally,i choose an agriculture research center(这句话有点中式) because in my opinion,a new agriculture research center will bring more benefits for people of my country.I would like to illustrate some reasons and examples as following to support my viewpoint.

First of all,since our country is located in an area of farm belt(学习),a agriculture may be more proper,(这个句子是since从句里的还是单独一句啊?怎么都是逗号呢)new research center of farming will benefit people of my country in several ways(aspects).For example,this farming research center will bring us new productive specieses of crops,so farmers of my country may get much more annual harvest.Besides that,more jobs will also(去掉吧,读着不顺,有点重复) be provided by this research center.Generally,the area around my country have not so much businesses(business不可数) and(换成as well as吧,后面还有一个and) factories and most residents in this area are farmers.Thus,it is no doubt that the new productive specieses of crops and opportunities of jobs which the a(两个冠词啊,a去了) farming research center will provide to my country really mean a lot to our people.

Moreover,because the soil of this area is proper for developing agriculture,it could also be proper for an agriculture research center.(适合发展农业的土地就是适合发展农业研究所么?这个观点有点偏颇恩)As far as i can say(as far as I’m concerned),it is really a good  way of land utilizing to set a(an) agriculture research center in this farm belt.(这句话没有看懂呃)Meanwhile,the new specieses of crops,which will be developed by this center,will suit to be planted in the soil of area,thus farmers may get relatively higher harvest.;

On the flip side,(学习,我总是on the other hand)a new business research center may also benefit the residents of my country by providing jobs,but as a research center of business,which have not so much work to do other than researching,it could not provide as much opportunities as a agriculture research center,and the jobs of a business research center may be not as proper as the jobs of a farming research center for people in my country to do.(这段真像绕口令啊,这么多话,只表达了一个意思,说AC比BC更proper,但是为什么呢?)

At last,i would like to draw a conclusion that,for my country,a research center of farming is more proper than a business research center.Due to all the merits of a agriculture research center.If a research center will be located here,then there could not be better option other than an a research center of agriculture.

我的网速太慢了,现在没有办法标颜色,真不好意思。
整体感觉:语法上有少量的错误,部分表达感觉是中文翻译过来的。也有一些不错的词恩,学习。
结构没有问题。但是论点,第二个论点不知道在说什么恩,第三段一直在说更proper,说了好几遍,但究竟从哪些方面体现出来的,没有写出来。
大概这些方面吧,说话有点重,别介意啊。

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发表于 2009-10-31 22:55:37 |显示全部楼层

国安今天夺冠,大欢喜……

本帖最后由 liberly 于 2009-11-1 00:32 编辑

If personal preference could be considered as a criterion,i would rather like to hold my standpoint to support the idea that every student should have a chance to access university education.Generally,i choose this stand because i believe equality of education is only way which can lead to a harmonious society.Thus i would like to illustrate some reasons and instances as following to support my viewpoint.



First of all,as we all take for grant that all people are born equal.In order to achieve an equal society,equality of education is the first thing that should be pushed forward.University education should be available not only for good students but also for other students who do not have excellent transcript.For these students,an opportunity to access university education may change their whole life.Besides that,equality of education may also helpful to reduce the gap of revenue between rich class and poor class just because everyone have received higher education.



Moreover,equal opportunity to access university education for every students in our society would be also very significant for personality development of young students.The stage when student studying in university is very crucial,usually,student's personality is steadily fixed in this period,and universities can be the best place for students at this age to cultivate healthy and integrated personality.On the flip side,if not all of the students at this age could get the chance to study in universities,obviously,academic knowledge would not be the only thing they missed,but also the ambience which is proper for students to develop their personality.



Promoting national competitive power in the worldwide competition is another main reason that equal opportunity of university education should be provided for every student.As we all know,knowledge is the first productivity,the majority of highly educated manpower resource of one country could be the most powerful superiority in the international competition.So give each student a chance to accept higher education would be a so profound policy which might largely affect the potential competitive power of one country.



At last,i would like to draw a conclusion that,providing all the students equal chances to receive university education will benefit all the society in relative long term future.Despite it may seem not fairly enough for good students,it is indeed fairly enough for our society.

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发表于 2009-11-2 19:32:59 |显示全部楼层
If personal preference could be considered as a criterion,i would rather like to hold my standpoint to support the idea that every student should have a chance to access university education.Generally,i choose this stand because i believe equality of education is only way which can lead to a harmonious society.Thus i would like to illustrate some reasons and instances as following to support my viewpoint.
+ ], O/ u1 `% j3 g% F, h) g1 w+ o1 Z) l

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3 X9 R) g+ u! c& y* u9 HFirst of all,as we all take for grant that all people are born equal.-as 不用吧 In order to achieve an equal society,equality of education is the first thing that should be pushed forward.University education should be available not only for good students but also for other students who do not have excellent transcript.For these students,an opportunity to access university education may change their whole life.Besides that,equality of education may also helpful to reduce the gap of revenue between rich class and poor class just because everyone have received higher education.
0 U4 x6 q# }0 \4 w2 N( s# }! L) v& p* _4 F  N/ y
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Moreover,equal opportunity to access university education for every students in our society would be also very significant for personality development of young students.The stage when student studying in university is very crucial,usually,student's personality is steadily fixed in this period,and universities can be the best place for students at this age to cultivate healthy and integrated personality.On the flip side,if not all of the students at this age could get the chance to study in universities,obviously,academic knowledge would not be the only thing they missed,but also the ambience which is proper for students to develop their personality.
4 E* D: g1 |' e7 x
( J8 a. K. \: w% S
; ^8 h! \* B/ T$ B, R# p( D+ I0 Z0 r/ A3 D4 X
Promoting national competitive power in the worldwide competition is another main reason that equals opportunity of university education should be provided for every student.As we all know,knowledge is the first productivity,the majority of highly educated manpower resource of one country could be the most powerful superiority in the international competition.So give-giving each student a chance to accept higher education would be a so profound policy which might largely affect the potential competitive power of one country.! e6 y* c( K% A3 l* y4 r
' v- \% V7 j6 P

* G5 A5 d+ W+ [. o; H( l' {! w! m. p/ c' x; s
At last,i would like to draw a conclusion that,providing all the students equal chances to receive university education will benefit all the society in relative long term future.Despite it may seem not fairly enough for good students,it is indeed fairly enough for our society. 4# liberly

结构清晰,语言流畅,很好,不过如果能加些细节更好,我看你的多是在说理论证。

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发表于 2009-11-2 22:17:49 |显示全部楼层
本帖最后由 liberly 于 2009-11-2 23:58 编辑

11.2作文

If personal preference could be considered as a  criterion,i would say i am strongly agree with the idea that parents are the best teacher of their children.Generally,i hold my standpoint to support this perspective because,for my own experience,people who influence me mostly are my parents.Thus,i would like to illustrate some reasons and instances as following to support my point of view.

First of all,before determine whether parents are the best teacher of children,let us start from a fact,which everyone takes for granted,that parents are the first teacher of their children.It is ture that the first people whom a newborn baby catch the vision of always be his mother,and then his father.From the moment this baby come to the world he begin to imitate the sound and face of his parents,and for most babys,"mama"and "papa"are the first words of speaking language they can make.Moreover,almost all of the basic ability of a child,such as speaking,walking,laughing,is also teached by parents.

Besides that,parent may be the most important teacher in a person's life.Take myself for example,my parents made greatest positive impact on the characteristic of my personality.And many people said that my temperament is very alike to my parents.My parents also have taught me a lot of things about life,about how to live a decent life in this world.As far as i am concerned,my parent is the most important teacher and guide of mine,to whom i can consult any of my problems.

Furthermore,parent may also be the teacher who can accompany with their children going through decades of their life.From the time a baby come to this world to the time the parents leave this world,for most person,this period could be decades of years.In such a long spell of time,i just can not tell how many things people could be taught by their dear parents.In an other word,at every stage of one's course of growth,parents accompany with him,and always be ready to help him by using their own experiences of life.

At last,i would like to draw a conclusion that,in everyone's life,parents play a important role as a teacher,they teach their children almost every thing about life.So how can we not realize that parent is the best teacher of us.

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发表于 2009-11-3 17:30:47 |显示全部楼层
4# liberly 小结:总体写的很流利,用语也不错,就是感觉挺空洞
If personal preference could be considered as a criterion,i would rather like to hold my standpoint to support the idea that every student should have a chance to access university education.Generally,i choose this stand because i believe equality of education is only way which can lead to a harmonious society.Thus i would like to illustrate some reasons and instances as following to support my viewpoint.

First of all,as we all take for granted that all people are born equal.In order to achieve an equal society,equality of education is the first thing that should be pushed forward.University education should be available not only for good students but also for other students who do not have excellent transcript.For these students,an opportunity to access university education may change their whole life.Besides that,equality of education may also behelpful to reduce the gap of revenue between rich class and poor class just because everyone have received higher education.
Moreover,equal opportunity to access university education for every students in our society would be also very significant for personality development of young students.The stage when student studying in university is very crucial,usually,student's personality is steadily fixed in(DURING) this period,and universities can be the best place for students at this age to cultivate healthy and integrated personality.On the flip side,if not all of the students at this age could get the chance to study in universities,obviously,academic knowledge would not be the only thing they missed,but also the ambience which is proper for students to develop their personality.
Promoting national competitive power in the worldwide competition is another main reason that equal opportunity of university education should be provided for every student.As we all know,knowledge is the first productivity,the majority of highly educated manpower resource of one country could be the most powerful superiority in the international competition.So give each student a chance to accept higher education would be a so profound policy which might largely affect the potential competitive power of one country.
At last,i would like to draw a conclusion that,providing all the students equal chances to receive university education will benefit all the society in relative long term future .Despite it may seem not fairly enough for good students,it is indeed fairly enough for our society这句话表达的有点不咋好
as is tale,so is life

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发表于 2009-11-3 17:41:59 |显示全部楼层
11月2号
连续看了两篇你的文章了,文章都很流利,很多套用的句式,不过总感觉论证力度不大,还有些套用的感觉很牵强,下划线出来的都是我觉得用的不是很恰当的,感觉你还得多看些文章以便能够灵活套用句式。我觉得复杂句式用得要恰到好处。
If personal preference could be considered as a criterion,i would say i am strongly agree with the idea that parents are the best teacher of their children.Generally,i hold my standpoint to support this perspective because,for my own experience,people who influence me mostly are my parents.Thus,i would like to illustrate some reasons and instances as following to support my point of view.
First of all,before determine whether parents are the best teacher of children,let us start from a fact,which everyone takes for granted,that parents are the first teacher of their children.It is ture that the first people whom a newborn baby catch the vision of always be his mother,and then his father.From the moment this baby come to the world he begin to imitate the sound and face of his parents,and for most babys,"mama"and "papa"are the first words of speaking language they can make.Moreover,almost all of the basic ability of a child,such as speaking,walking,laughing,is also teached by parents.
, w* [+ Y7 [# f2 q
& X! T9 m3 ?7 ^; F* SBesides that,parent may be the most important teacher in a person's life.Take myself for example,my parents made greatest positive impact on the characteristic of my personality.And many people said that my temperament is very alike to my parents.My parents also have taught me a lot of things about life,about how to live a decent life in this world.As far as i am concerned,my parent is the most important teacher and guide of mine,to whom i can consult any of my problems.,

Furthermore,parent may also be the teacher who can accompany with their children going through decades of their life.From the time a baby come to this world to the time the parents leave this world,for most person,this period could be decades of years.In such a long spell of time,i just can not tell how many things people could be taught by their dear parents.In an other word,at every stage of one's course of growth,parents accompany with him,and always be ready to help him by using their own experiences of life
At last,i would like to draw a conclusion that ,in everyone's life,parents play a important role as a teacher,they teach their children almost every thing about life.So how can we not realize that parent is the best teacher of us.
as is tale,so is life

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发表于 2009-11-3 18:11:28 |显示全部楼层

11.3的作文

本帖最后由 liberly 于 2009-11-3 20:02 编辑

If personal preference could be considered as a criterion,i would like to hold my standpoint to support the idea that living in a small town may be likely to approach the truly meaning of life.Generally,i am apt to this perspective because i believe that in order to experience real happiness of life,people need to live as close as possible to the nature.Thus,i would like to illustrate some reasons and instances as following to support my point of view.



First of all,as i said,living in a small town would be easier for people to approach natural enviroment not far away for their home,or sometimes,may be a forest is just in front of your house.Enviroment in a small town is very different from city's,take my hometown for example,it is a very little town lies at the foot of a mountain,called taihang mountain,the mountain area is at the west of my town very nearby.When i was a child,i used to go to the nearest small hill with my friends and enjoy our playing time after school.The beautiful scene i can never forget,it is the sweetest piece of momery of mine.



Furthermore,from the the experience of my self,as far as i can tell,that the life in a small town could be pretty good to children.Since people who live in a small town always have a big yard around their house,this kind of yard could be the best and safest playground for little children to play games together.A couple of years later,when these little children grow up into big kids,the spectacular nature around their small town could also be their best playground.



Meanwhile,on the flip side,living in a big city would benefit people with some conveniences,for example,people would have more opportunities and the public facilities would also be more available.But in mordern age,opportunities and life standard between small town and big city are not as large as decades years ago.It would take much time from a town to the nearest city,if people drove cars of course.Many studies showed that most people live in towns which within one hour from the nearest city by driving car.



At last,i would like to draw a conclusion that,if i had to choosing one from living in a big city or a small town,due to all the reasons and instances i illustrated above,i would rather like to enjoy the life of a small town.

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IBT Zeal Cancer巨蟹座

发表于 2009-11-3 18:32:54 |显示全部楼层
If personal preference could be considered as a  criterion,i would say i am strongly agree with the idea that parents are the best teacher of their children.Generally,i hold my standpoint to support this perspective because,for-->from my own experience,people who influence me mostly are my parents.Thus,i would like to illustrate some reasons and instances as following to support my point of view.挺干脆的开头

First of all,before determine-->determining whether parents are the best teacher of children,let us start from a fact,which everyone takes for granted,that parents are the first teacher of their children.It is ture that the first people whom a newborn baby catch the vision of always be his mother,and then his father.From the moment this baby comes to the world he begin to imitate the sound and face of his parents,and for ,"mama"and "papa"are the first words of speaking language they can make.Moreover,almost all of the basic ability of a child,such as speaking,walking,laughing,is also teached-->taught by parents. 思想不错中间的个别句子表达不太恰当

Besides that,parent may be the most important teacher in a person's life.Take myself for example,my parents made greatest positive impact on the characteristic of my personality-->on developing of my personalities. .And many people said that my temperament is very alike to my parents.My parents also have taught me a lot of things about life,about-->and how to live a decent life in this world.As far as i am concerned,my parent is-->parents are the most important teacher and guide of mine,to whom i can consult any of my problems.

Furthermore,parent may also be the teacher who can accompany with their children going through decades of their life.From the time a baby come to this world to the time the parents leave this world-->pass away用这个观点不好吧,for most person,this period could be decades of years.In such a long spell of time,i just can not tell how many things people could be taught by their dear parents.In an other word,at every stage of one's course of growth,parents accompany with him,and always be-->are ready to help him by using their own experiences of life. 这段跟上2段有雷同的地方,内容和思想

At last,i would like to draw a conclusion that,in everyone's life,parents play a important role as a teacher单复数,they teach their children almost every thing about life.So how can we not realize that parent is--parents are the best teachers of us. 有些小的语法不是不会, 是写完了没有自己检查..句子不错功底挺好的.

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发表于 2009-11-4 10:43:02 |显示全部楼层
If personal preference could be considered as a criterion,i would like to hold my standpoint to support the idea that living in a small town may be likely to approach the truly meaning of life.这个什么意思?approach是不是不太合适Generally,i am apt to this perspective because i believe that in order to experience real happiness of life,people need to live as close as possible to the nature.Thus,i would like to illustrate some reasons and instances as following to support my point of view.

First of all,as i said,living in a small town would be easier for people to approach natural enviroment not far away for their home,or sometimes,may be a forest is just in front of your house.Enviroment in a small town is very different from city's,take my hometown for example,it is a very little town lies at the foot of a mountain,called taihang mountain,the mountain area is at the west of my town very nearby.When i was a child,i used to go to the nearest small hill with my friends and enjoy our playing time after school.The beautiful scene i can never forget,it is the sweetest piece of momery of mine.没写出和居住的关系啊


Furthermore,from the the experience of my self,as far as i can tell,that the life in a small town could be pretty good to children.Since people who live in a small town always have a big yard around their house,this kind of yard could be the best and safest playground for little children to play games together.A couple of years later,when these little children grow up into big kids,the spectacular nature around their small town could also be their best playground.

dMeanwhile,on the flip side,不常见用法living in a big city would benefit people with some conveniences,重复了吧for example,people would have more opportunities and the public facilities would also be more available.But in mordern age,opportunities and life standard between small town and big city are not as large as decades years ago.It would take much time from a town to the nearest city,if people drove cars of course.Many studies showed that most people live in towns which within one hour from the nearest city by driving car. 2 k, `/ M$ ]- L3 x/ m - z$ l7 T: m" z+ b6 K ]- l ~: x; F' `. B/ W5 d; B; o# d* V9 K 1 V! R- a& @4 f( @9 cAt last,i would like to draw a conclusion that,if i had to choosing one from living in a big city or a small town,due to all the reasons and instances i illustrated above,i would rather like to enjoy the life of a small town.

感觉写的一般。。不好意思。。用法不地道啊。。写的也不深刻的。。得加油啊
已有 1 人评分声望 收起 理由
liberly + 1 多谢

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发表于 2009-11-4 12:48:21 |显示全部楼层
If personal preference could be considered as a criterion,i would like to hold my standpoint to support the idea that living in a small town may be likely to approach the truly meaning of life.Generally,i am apt to this perspective because i believe that in order to experience real happiness of life,people need to live as close as possible to the nature.Thus,i would like to illustrate some reasons and instances as following to support my point of view.
开头不错
First of all,as (what)i said,living in a small town would be easier for people to approach natural enviroment not far away for their home,or sometimes,may be(maybe) a forest is just in front of your house.Enviroment in a small town is very different from city's,take my hometown for example,it is a very little town lies at the foot of a mountain,called taihang mountain,the mountain area is at the west of my town very nearby.When i was a child,i used to go to the nearest small hill with my friends and enjoy our playing time after school.The beautiful scene i can never forget,it is the sweetest piece of momery of mine. 最后一句话表达的不好
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! B, D9 V% a- g7 G$ Y1 VFurthermore,from the the experience of my self,as far as i can tell,that the life in a small town could be pretty good to children.Since people who live in a small town always have a big yard around their house,this kind of yard could be the best and safest playground for little children to play games together.A couple of years later,when these little children grow up into big kids,the spectacular nature around their small town could also be their best playground. 7 t' C* g: Q+ l1 a; H" y  c: M/ k
' z' N+ x8 t5 |$ h! M. p0 X7 R
" v5 U0 |' L. a9 k5 n5 W8 L2 P# @
$ b- x& G# C+ W% `+ g) S: A7 b9 _
Meanwhile,on the flip side,living in a big city would benefit people with some conveniences,for example,people would have more opportunities and the public facilities would also be more available.But in mordern age,opportunities and life standard between small town and big city are not as large as decades years ago.It would take much time from a town to the nearest city,if people drove cars of course.Many studies showed that most people live in towns which within one hour from the nearest city by driving car.
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At last,i would like to draw a conclusion that,if i had to choosing one from living in a big city or a small town,due to all the reasons and instances i illustrated above,i would rather like to enjoy the life of a small town.

文章整体不错 有些语句学习了 不过很多错字哦 呵呵 别人都指出来了 语言整体不错 还要加强。有些表达不恰当,也有些语法错误

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RE: [进军美利坚作文组] liberly的作文-10月30号 [修改]

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[进军美利坚作文组] liberly的作文-10月30号
https://bbs.gter.net/thread-1023481-1-1.html
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