issue88 心理素质好，求狠拍

崂山小神UID: 2688698

TOPIC: ISSUE88——Technologies not only influence but actually determine social customs and ethics.
WORDS: 717

Nowadays there is a tendency of people’s growing attention on the effect of technology on social customs and ethics, for it is one of the most vital elements for the development of the world and also related to our daily lives. Technology actually has challenged and even altered social customs as well as ethics to some extent, while it is also restricted by them on the other hand so that it could scarcely determine them. Being aware of this,we could treat technology fairly and make good use of it.


From the ancient time to nowadays, technology does challenge and even inflect some social customs through making a change in people's lives. The
development of technology, which is motivated by people's desire to serve themselves and make life more convenient with efficient tools, has seen people's exploration of nature as well as various discoveries and inventions. And consequently all these production has made a great contribution to renewing people's life style and thereby affected social customs as time passes by. For instance, the Industrial Revolution, which results from the rapid growth of science and technology, raises women’s rights to a hot subject and even changes women’s destiny. From then on, women are allowed and even encouraged to work out of home and get salaries. Actually, it is the fast growing technology that promotes the development of economy which leads to thousands of working opportunities for people and especially for women, such as sewing and manufacturing. Actually, technology has altered the tradition that women should stay at home and never work outside.


On the other hand, technology tries to modify and complement the ethical system, thus makes it more consummate as a whole. The development of technology does symbolize the presence of new founding and inventions. However, the new is not always the right and it does not always benefit human beings. Only if there is a debate between these new things and ethics, people turns to think rationally whether these new things should be permitted or prohibited, and if they are acceptable, is it possible to abuse them in the foreseeable future? It is technology that calls for one's attention to such thing related to human rights and privacy, which contributes to a complete ethical system. Consider several years ago, the totally new concept of cloning, which has never been pointed out in the ethical system before, has driven a hot debate about whether it is against ethics and human rights. This debate was ended with a ban of cloning human beings throughout the world so that a myriad of following problems has been avoided and the ethical system turns to be more perfect.



Although technology affects social customs and ethics under some circumstances, it could hardly determine them and sometimes it is restricted by them. Social customs and ethics come into being after a long period, which is determined by ideology, historical and temporary conditions and some other complicated elements. Hence, technology could hardly shake their root, let alone determine them. Specially, when it comes to ethics, which acts as criterion for people's behavior, it would remain stable to some extent even when technology develops a lot. If technology determines ethics, those developed countries where the most outstanding scientists congregated would domineer if they hold the belief that they could do anything only if technology allows. Consider that nowadays, some countries have already held the ability of manufacturing nuclear weapons as well as putting them into use when they feel necessary. However, their application of nuclear has been constrained by UN, considering the catastrophe brought by the abuse of it,which does great harm to people’s lives, thus the world would fall into masses and endless wars. Granted that the manufacture of nuclear weapons has come true, it could not challenge ethics that human’s rights must be protected or the tendency of the harmonious development of the world. By this token, technology can never determine ethics and customs, and sometimes it must comply with them.


To sum up, technology actually works on social customs and modifies ethics to a great extent. Despite that there is a strong relationship between them, technology was restricted by these two elements, let alone determines them. Indeed, technology is a tool to serve humans and it must apply to the tendency of the world’s development.

崂山小神UID: 2688698

没人拍啊没人拍  。。。。。。小神一小时内看了N次，路过的留个神，拉小神一把吧！
小神的心理素质好哇

sakuraanneUID: 2253519

大略看了下，不好意思，现在才改，主要因为这几天没有看issue的感觉。。。双休日又出差去了。。。
文章总体中规中距，离考试还有一个月，进步空间还是很大的。（其实对aw而言，备考的这一月就是最关键的时期，只要好好抓紧，还是大有可为的）
语言上我看问题不是很大（主要我自己语言也不强），扫了下没感觉拗牙，表意过的去，但也不能否认还是需要继续反复多改几遍语言，同时多阅读。比如这样的句子technology is a tool to serve humans（humans？） and it must （be applied）apply to the tendency of the world’s development（太罗嗦）. the world's trend会不会好一点？
还有一个月的话，这样的文章还可以理解；但想考好的话，思维方面还需要多加强。文章结构过于板正，缺乏流动性，总之就是正说反说，这样倒也不坏，问题出在这开头结尾和正反论述的内容不充实，看上去就像立了论，然后反复唠叨，因此传达独特的思想，从而无法在规矩的前提下优美行文。
还是需要多思考题目，想的深入点。
我个人不反对规矩的做法，因为规矩也能写好，反之，特立独行也往往容易铤而走险；但重点是规矩的写要写出内容，要能传达出个人思想，而不是显得像凑篇幅拉扯拼凑观点。要写出有思想的文章首先要自己深入思考这个问题，理出自己真正的想法，然后努力传达出来，而非像我们这代被高考制度毒害的人，为了凑题目内容而应景想文章，这样写出来的东西对英语非母语的我们而言是毫无竞争力的。

具体的批改我再看下，第二段那个妇女解放的例子不贴切，或者说引申不到位以致显得牵强，要深入发掘例子，想好再写。然后那个例子一个意思反复说，连说了几句话，看似这段篇幅挺体面，但实在没营养。

sakuraanneUID: 2253519

总体觉得lz还是很不错的，因为你求狠拍，我就乱拍了一下，有不得体处还请见谅~~~总之遵从自己的个性化思维最重要，别人的意见听取一下就行。

sakuraanneUID: 2253519

克隆的例子太老，前面论述太多，都是废话。。。大家都知道的事说来说去就是凑字数，要写点有意义的东西。
第三个展开段我认为还可以，虽说核武器的例子有点老

崂山小神UID: 2688698

额。。。前辈说的是，小神也觉得例子举得大俗。。。看来还是要不间断的进行素材搜集呢
可是总觉得要说出有个性的话太难了，貌似被荼毒太深鸟。。。
PS：原本小神觉得克隆一段写的还满有感觉的。。。。。。。

sakuraanneUID: 2253519

那几个例子确实比较没劲，虽说你写的还不错，但我认为这样写的这种思路的ets早审美疲劳了--至少我疲劳了，我个人认为这个构思，这个逻辑顺序太缺乏个性了，然后你通过这个approach写到100分可能还不如用有意思点的视角写到80分效果来的好。

sakuraanneUID: 2253519

不过还有一个月，时间是够用的，加油

sakuraanneUID: 2253519

是可以啊，对于初写者来说是的，但是对于越来越严苛的ets来说就可能不是了
我想中国人千篇一律的思路可能还是和高频题有关，这个就是外国人鄙视的中国人没诚信，没诚信导致大家都准备高频题，导致思路同质化，相当没个性。你说人人都写一样的逻辑再合理几年几年看下来人家也知道咋回事了不是？