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[活动] 进军美利坚作文 11.5作业canlanxingkong [复制链接]

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发表于 2009-11-6 10:10:29 |显示全部楼层
Do you like to learn knowledge by yourselves or prefer to have a teacher? Different people hold different opinion due to their distinct background and experience for this question. In my point of view, a teacher plays an important role for one’s study, so I prefer to have a teacher.
First of all, when we learn something for our first time, a teacher can guide us so that we can save plenty of time. New things always appear around us, it’s certainly that we do not manage much knowledge at first, so we should have someone to guide us to find a correct way to figure it out. For example, when I was in middle school, I did not understand one problem my math teacher had said in class. I spent 2 days to think it over so that I even did not have enough time to do homework then. Yet I still got no result. My classmate recommended me to ask teacher for help. Originally I was shy to see my teacher but now I have no way. I went for my teacher and she told me how to solve it patiently and I got its method. Then I understood that teacher can guide us efficiently to find a successful way.
Furthermore, teacher can give you a correct direction and even avoid you from danger. Sometimes we do not know how we should do is correct, and if we grope ourselves it’s so dangerous. For instance, several days ago my friend who had already got a permit learned driving, when his coach was out, he thought himself had already manage driving skill so he drove the car lonely to road. He did not think there were so many cars that day, when he turned to another street he did not see another car, finally two cars collided with each other. We can see that teacher is necessary for us.
Finally, if we have teacher to push ourselves we should do things better. Take my own experience for example, when I was in college, I always liked to sleep in dormitory and seldom go to labatory. My mentor set tasks for me and required me to finish them in one week. In order to accomplish project I have to be busy do experiment and even stayed up for two nights. Gradually I felt I was interested in experiment and also learned much from it. This experience tells me that teacher is one of impetus for our study.
In sum, taking into account these factors discussed above, teacher plays an prominent role in our social life, we indeed need teacher’s assistance to find the key to gate of success.

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Golden Apple

发表于 2009-11-6 11:36:38 |显示全部楼层
作文题目在哪里?

时间有限,我把有问题的地方标出来,楼主自己改吧~

第一:

Do you like to learn knowledge by yourselves or prefer to have a teacher? Different people hold different opinion due to their distinct background and experience for this question. In my point of view, a teacher plays an important role for one’s study, so I prefer to have a teacher.

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Golden Apple

发表于 2009-11-6 12:03:14 |显示全部楼层
第二段:

First of all, when we learn something for our first time, a teacher can guide us so that we can save plenty of time. New things always appear around us, 【缺连接词】it’s certainly that we do not manage much knowledge at first, so we should have someone to guide us to find a correct way to figure it out. For example, when I was in middle school, I did not understand one problem my math teacher had said in class. I spent 2 days to think it over so that I even did not have enough time to do homework then. Yet I still got no result. My classmate recommended me to ask 【缺定冠词】teacher for help. Originally I was shy to see my teacher but now I have no way. too shy to talk to my teacher,后半句时态不对。】I went for my teacher and she told me how to solve it patiently and I got its method. Then I understood that teacher can guide us efficiently to find a successful way.

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Golden Apple

发表于 2009-11-6 12:11:33 |显示全部楼层
第三段:

Furthermore, teacher can give you a correct direction and even avoid you from danger. Sometimes we do not know how we should do is correct, and if we grope ourselves it’s so dangerous. For instance, several days ago my friend who had already got a permit learned driving, 【句式杂糅】when his coach was out, he thought himself had already manage driving skill so he drove the car lonely to road. He did not think there were so many cars that day, when he turned to another street he did not see another car, finally two cars collided with each other.【表达混乱】【这个连接很突兀】We can see that teacher is necessary for us. ; k

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Golden Apple

发表于 2009-11-6 12:15:37 |显示全部楼层
本帖最后由 cinderella1016 于 2009-11-7 13:26 编辑

第四段:

Finally, if we have teacher to push ourselves we should do things better. Take my own experience for example, when I was in college, I always liked to sleep in dormitory and seldom go to labatory. My mentor set tasks for me and required me to finish them in one week. In order to accomplish project I have to be busy do experiment and even stayed up for two nights. Gradually I felt I was interested in experiment and also learned much from it. This experience tells me that teacher is one of impetus for our study.

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Golden Apple

发表于 2009-11-6 12:16:56 |显示全部楼层
本帖最后由 cinderella1016 于 2009-11-7 13:26 编辑

第五段:

In sum, taking into account these factors discussed above, teacher plays an prominent role in our social life, 【连接词呢?】we indeed need teacher’s assistance to find the key to gate of success.

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Golden Apple

发表于 2009-11-6 12:17:36 |显示全部楼层
总结:问题很多很多,建议认真修改划线的地方。。。

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发表于 2009-11-6 19:01:18 |显示全部楼层
Doyou like to learn knowledge by yourselves or prefer to have a teacher?Different people hold different opinion(s) due to their distinct background andexperience for(facing) thisquestion. In my point of view, a teacher plays an important role for (in) one’s study, so I prefer tohave a teacher.

% l6 ?) U+ B2 H( c  n"A5 Y
Firstof all, when we learn something for our (at) first time, a teacher can guide us so that we can save plenty oftime. New things always appear around us, it’s certainly that (certainly) we do not manage muchknowledge at first, so we should have someone to guide us to find a correct wayto figure it
(it指代什么,还有figure out 用于解决问题或难事)out.For example, when I was in middle school, I did not understand one problem (that) my math teacher had said inclass. I spent 2(two) days to think it over sothat I even did not have enough time to do homework then. Yet I still got noresult. Myclassmate recommended me to ask (the) teacher for help. Originally I was shy tosee my teacher but now I have no way (这两句多余的). I went (asked or turned) for my teacher and she toldme how to solve it patiently and I got its method. Then I understood thatteacher can guide us efficiently to find a successful way.

3 d9 g7 S% A* H9 |4 o  M- V1W
Furthermore,teacher can give you a correct direction and even avoid you from danger (意思evencan help students to avoid danger or making mistakes). Sometimes we do not know how weshould do is correct, and if we grope (by) ourselves it’s so dangerous. For instance, several days ago myfriend who had already got a permit learned driving, when his coach was out, hethought himself had already manage (grasp) driving skill so he drove the (a) car lonely to road. He did not thinkthere were so many cars that day, when he turned to another street he did notsee another car, finally two cars collided with each other. We can see thatteacher is necessary for us.

7 M$ G! V4 t' k! g
Finally, if we have teacher(s) to push ourselves we should (would) do things better. Take myown experience for example, when I was in college, I always liked to sleep indormitory and seldom go to labatory (laboratory). My mentor set tasks for me and required me to finishthem in one week. In order to accomplish (the) project I have to be busy do experiment(s) and even stayed up for two nights.Gradually I felt I was interested in experiment and also learned much from it.This experience tells me that (the)teacher is one of impetus for our study.

/ \) h4 v; k/ ]4 m+ D1 y6 P
In sum, taking into accountthese factors discussed above, teacher plays an (a) prominent role in our social life, (and) we indeed need teacher’s assistance tofind the key to gate of success.
建议:1.对于冠词the, an, a 的使用还要加强运用,如teacher是一个可数名词,单数使用时必须有限定词。2.最好使用第三人称,因为我是读者就是“you”,所以效果没有使用第二人称好。3.注意使用连词,文章中很多地方上下句让人觉得脱节了。

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IBT Zeal Cancer巨蟹座

发表于 2009-11-6 21:16:19 |显示全部楼层
Do you like to learn knowledge by yourselves or prefer to have a teacher? Different people hold different opinion复数 due to their distinct background and experience复数 for this question. In my point of view, a teacher plays an important role for one’s study, so I prefer to have a teacher.

First of all, when we learn something for our first time, a teacher can guide us so that we can saves plenty of time. New things always appear around us, it’s certainly that we do not manage much knowledge-->好像不是这么用吧 at first, so we should have someone to guide us to find a correct way to figure it out. For example, when I was in middle school, I did not understand one problem my math teacher had said-->taught in class. I spent 2 days to think it over so that I even did not have enough time to do homework then. Yet I still got no result. My classmate recommended me to ask teacher for help. Originally I was shy to see-->ask my teacher but now I have no way. I went for my teacher and she told me how to solve it patiently and I got its method. Then I understood that teacher can guide us efficiently to find a successful way. One time I had a question from math subject, which took me hours to consider but didnt achieve any result. Finally, it was my math teacher who explained for me and brough me the answer.

Furthermore, teacher can give you a correct direction and even avoid you from danger-->help students to avoid from going to the wrong way. Sometimes we do not know how we should do is correct-->what is right, and if we grope ourselves it’s so dangerous. For instance, several days ago my friend who had already got a permit-->permission learned driving, when his coach was out, he thought himself had already manage-->几个谓语?? driving skill so he drove the car lonely to road. He did not think there were so many cars that day, when he turned to another street he did not see another car, finally two cars collided with each other. We can see that teacher is necessary for us.

Finally, if we have teacher to push-->lead or teach ourselves we should do things better. Take my own experience for example, when I was in college, I always liked-->was used to sleep in dormitory and seldom go时态 to labatory. My mentor set tasks for me and required me to finish them in one week. In order to accomplish project I have to be busy-->i spent lots of time on doing this do experiment and even stayed up for two nights. Gradually I felt I was interested in experiment and also learned much from it. This experience tells me that teacher is one of impetus for our study

In sum, taking into account these factors discussed above, teacher plays an prominent role in our social life, we indeed need teacher’s assistance to find the key to gate of success. 嗯加油!

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发表于 2009-11-8 13:35:44 |显示全部楼层
11.6作业呢?换地方了???

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RE: 进军美利坚作文 11.5作业canlanxingkong [修改]

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