iBT作文29分，每天改两篇作文回馈gter~申请正酣，活动暂停，请谅解！

agileeagleUID: 2436593

104# amingsnow
非常感谢。

huhuuUID: 2666064

麻烦楼主帮我改下吧！太谢谢啦！12月12号考试……

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? People with different interests and personalities cannot be friends.

Although there is a saying goes like that:" Birds of the same hair flock together.” I do not agree with the statement that people of different interests and personalities cannot be friends. I think make friends with different kinds of people can increase one's knowledge of other fields, allow people to analyze things more profoundly from different perspectives and contribute to future career success.
First and foremost, as a saying goes: Sharing makes happy double. It is the same for knowledge. The exchange of knowledge can broaden one’s horizon, especially with a friend different from him. This kind of experiences can make life more colorful and meaningful. There might be some minor conflicts between friends, but effective methods like discussion and negotiation can enhance both their knowledge and friendship. For example, I have a friend who major in psychology always tells me some anecdotes in her discipline. As time goes by, I accumulated plenty of relevant knowledge which enables me to deal with problems of everyday life. So, for most of people, having such friends who is different from them in major or other aspects will bring them ample knowledge.
Secondly, different kinds of people may have distinctive perspectives on the same thing. When one comes with a dilemma, friends of different interests and personalities may come up with various suggestions for him or her. Meanwhile, friends with similar thoughts could be confined in a narrower rage which may fail to provide the best solution. When it comes to where their interest lies, friends generally can contribute their wisdom more efficiently.
Last but not least, friends of different personalities can teach people various communication skills which are essential to interact with people in their career. For example, when a person likes to be left alone, it is better to spare him some personal space and not disturbing him too much. However, when it comes to a person who likes to make friends, the treatment should be just reversed. When one learns to respect everyone’s preference, one is able to build tight social bonds with different kind of people which will contribute to their career development.
Based on the above reasons, being friends with people who has different interests and personalities can benefit both one’s personal development and career preparation. I think it is practical and beneficial to make friends with different people, so I strongly disagree with the statement.

huhuuUID: 2666064

还有请问LZ格式的问题，就是每段首空五格么？还是每段隔行空？谢谢！

brass20yUID: 2454121

楼主，我被你说的有点担心,quote"你说你有个朋友独立和我写的差不多，但综合超差"
我刚好就是综合很差的那种，我贴两篇，能不能帮我简单review，看看问题多不多？这周末就考试了，多谢多谢你！
下面两篇都是最近写的，不知道你有没有做过？我附上听力原文

爱尔兰人消失之谜
In the lecture, the professor casts doubt on the view in reading passage that decline of Easter Island's society was caused by a hypothesis of an invader. She thinks that was a sad story because EI had no foresee.

First, the professor points out that there are solid evidence to prove internal factos caused this decline, which contradicts the opinion of reading passage. Hundreds of years ago, EI' society was so prosperous that they could build giant statues. They competed which part could build the most statues. They cut trees and used tree logs to position statues. And they cut so many trees that there were no tree to leave. In the end, they couldn't build the rest, catch fish and become harder and harder to make energy. Thus, they must move the statue and their society declined quickly.

Finally, the reading passage argues that the sudden appearance of the new riligion, "Birdman" workshop, may be because of the outsider invation. However, the professor disagrees with the idea. At that time, EI didn't give up but struggle to survive in EI. It was natural to develop a new religion for new God to pray the better life.

原文：
In the lecture, the professor casts doubt on the view in the reading passage that hiring a qualified outsider has often advantages for companies. He thinks that these companies' policy to hire outsider is misguided.

First, the professor points out that outsiders with different company philosophy that is about how to organize team and how to make decision will conflict with management team, which contradicts with opinion in the reading passage. Their different philosophy will result to disagree with or conflict with other management team and make the managerial team to operate not smoothly and effectively. However, the issue doesn't happen if promoting internal employees.

Second, the reading passage argues that compared with junior insiders, outsider with experience and enough managerial skills will save the cost of trainings. However, the professor considers that outsiders must rebuild the relationship with his new team members like establishing trust. It will spend more time and more cost which are even more than cost of trainings.

Finally, the reading passage thinks that outsiders hired will bring valuable business contact, which benefits the company. On the contrary, the professor argues that hiring outsider means there is no opportunity for the best employees to be promoted. In those cases, these employees with top performance are most likely to leave to other companies and take valuable business contact away.

从公司外聘用员工更好
In the lecture, the professor casts doubt on the view in the reading passage that hiring a qualified outsider has often advantages for companies. He thinks that these companies' policy to hire outsider is misguided.

First, the professor points out that outsiders with different company philosophy that is about how to organize team and how to make decision will conflict with management team, which contradicts with opinion in the reading passage. Their different philosophy will result to disagree with or conflict with other management team and make the managerial team to operate not smoothly and effectively. However, the issue doesn't happen if promoting internal employees.

Second, the reading passage argues that compared with junior insiders, outsider with experience and enough managerial skills will save the cost of trainings. However, the professor considers that outsiders must rebuild the relationship with his new team members like establishing trust. It will spend more time and more cost which are even more than cost of trainings.

Finally, the reading passage thinks that outsiders hired will bring valuable business contact, which benefits the company. On the contrary, the professor argues that hiring outsider means there is no opportunity for the best employees to be promoted. In those cases, these employees with top performance are most likely to leave to other companies and take valuable business contact away.

原文：

In the lecture, the professor casts doubt on the view in the reading passage that hiring a qualified outsider has often advantages for companies. He thinks that these companies' policy to hire outsider is misguided.

First, the professor points out that outsiders with different company philosophy that is about how to organize team and how to make decision will conflict with management team, which contradicts with opinion in the reading passage. Their different philosophy will result to disagree with or conflict with other management team and make the managerial team to operate not smoothly and effectively. However, the issue doesn't happen if promoting internal employees.

Second, the reading passage argues that compared with junior insiders, outsider with experience and enough managerial skills will save the cost of trainings. However, the professor considers that outsiders must rebuild the relationship with his new team members like establishing trust. It will spend more time and more cost which are even more than cost of trainings.

Finally, the reading passage thinks that outsiders hired will bring valuable business contact, which benefits the company. On the contrary, the professor argues that hiring outsider means there is no opportunity for the best employees to be promoted. In those cases, these employees with top performance are most likely to leave to other companies and take valuable business contact away.

别的同学很对不起，我贴了篇综合作文，占用了楼主的资源，非常抱歉!!!

june007UID: 2668976

麻烦楼主帮我改改，我星期天就考了。。。
People buy things not because that they need them but because other people have them

Do people buy things not because they are necessary but because other people have? For the most of the time, people always buy things they need; however, with allured by other people, they intend to buy things they actually don’t need. Therefore, for my personal opinion, we should figure out whether we need or not before we buy things.

Admittedly, there is no doubt that people buy things for the purpose that they need them. A mother buys meats and vegetables in supermarket because she needs to cook for the dinner. A student goes into store to buy pens because he is required using them in class. An architect buys magazines in bookstore for the reason that she wants to absorb new idea from the latest buildings. On the other hand, without certain necessary, we have no intention of purchase.

However, people may raise the extra desire of purchase when allured by other people. Continue to discuss the examples just present above. The mother not only bought food for the dinner, but also bought some delicious cookies as she has tasted some in her friend’s house. The student bought some pens as well as a pencil with a lovely carton at the top which his classmate had bought the day before. The architects decided to buy a fashion magazine in addition which she realized ladies read them in the metro. As a result, we do such things a lot as long as we can afford, which is actually not necessary in our daily life.

Although it is comprehensible that people do shopping to release their pressure which they suffer from daily life, once they buy things much more they need, it cause needless waste and high consumption, which is hardly to recover as soon as it become a habit. With the perspective of the consequence, should we calm down to figure out what is needed and what is not before we do shopping? Should we set up a saving plan to reduce our daily consumption in order to inhibit the needless waste?

In sum, I agree to buy things reasonably and appropriatively.

amingsnowUID: 2258254

101# yangqianlei

Spending leisure time in working or being with family?/ S+ i8 d+ g/ X* X. @# W1 j3 a
It is no doubt that both family and career play a crucial role in our lives as we cannot live without family as well as a job. Nowadays, there is a raising debate on whether we should spend spare time with family or working. Many people prefer focusing on work as they hold view point that the harder you work, the more money you make. On the contrary, although believe working hard may has a lots of benefits, it cannot compare the happiness brought by spending time with family.


compare --- compete with;  很好的开头段，唯一的问题是最后一句，主语错乱，应该去掉believe一词。

% L/ N9 m# P9 A4 r* S! k- H. S
Admittedly, working in spare time indeed gives rise to many great chances. One of the best is that it provides more promotion opportunities. By working in spare time, we can finish the designate tasks more quickly and more efficiently than others, since others seldom spend their time on their work, we can totally take the advantage of this. As to promotion, the boss always like to choose the most hard working guys as they are more likely to earn more potential profits for the company. In this way, if you spend your spare time in working, you are more likely to get promotion. With a satisfied income, you will never worry about how to save money to buy a beautiful but expensive dress.


最后一句，我认为不转换到第二人称更好些，因为整个一段都是第三人称论证，突然转到第二人称，有点不大协调。另外，希望能在本段的最后加上一句转折，简单论述一下working的局限性，引出下一段。这样不仅平衡了观点，而且也令文章条理更清晰。

However, when you enjoy the pleasure of promotion or buying an expensive dress, have you ever think about the happiness you get when you spend your time with your family? As a matter of fact, the pleasure of spending time with family weights much more than a promotion or money. When you are in trouble, family is always the first to come to help you; when you are suffering from the stress of work, family is always the one who comforts your soul and help you relief the pressure; when you feel frustrated, family always stands behind your back, holds your hand and tells you to hold on. In a sense, family members help us deal with numerous kinds of mental and physical problems we came across, which cannot be easily got over by just working hard.
8 n- W8 X( S. y# I6 L7 Q
Another important advantage of spending spare time with family is that it keeps our relationship in harmony. This can be best illustrated in the example of watching TV with family, by watching television with my parents, it can not only help me relax and relief the pressure from work and study, but also can develop our relationship. I always share my opinions and ideas about the programs with my parents, and my parents are very delighted when we are talking together. In this way I feel happy even though I do not make so much money. Because I am satisfied as long as my family members are happy which cannot be achieved by promotion or a decent salary.


本段论述了两个分论点，建议你能够拆成两段来分别论述，否则文章的重点有些失衡。另外，由于你在开头句并没有点明中心，那么在结尾句就一定一定要明确的把观点陈述出来，让这个观点足够强调和突出。另外在论述例子的时候，希望你能更具体些，比如你们看什么电视节目，像discovery，或者新闻，然后你们大概怎么讨论的，总之就是让例子更加生动一些。

As the old saying goes:”life is too short to take it for granted”, if we spend all the spare time doing the tedious job, even though we have earned a lots of money, we still do not know the true meaning of life and happiness. Therefore, the joy we get when we spending time with the people who you love most weights much more than the pleasure that from a merely a promotion.


know --- understand;结尾段总结了working的不好，但是并没有总结family的好。记住，你的结尾段是为再次突出中心服务的，所以不能仅仅论述反面观点。甚至，你可以不论述反面观点，而直接总结正面的分论点。
总的来说这篇文章还是不错的，语法错误不多，有些词汇使用的不够灵活;如果能把结构调整好，正反论述比例调整一下，应该是可以拿个不错的分数的。

amingsnowUID: 2258254

103# zzjiezz

in order to get well-informed, people should have different source of news. Do you agree or disagree.
% K1 B" p/ u4 i7 m- d9 e- K% x9 w1 G
Nowadays, people can get news from all kinds of sources, like newspaper, television, internet, all those can provide important information for us. Nevertheless, one want to be well informed, one should get news from different sources he can.0 C- p% g1 L2 ^  m: i; m4 t7 L9 C


第一段有点没看懂，两个句子是转折关系么？

Firstly, I always believe that more sources we have, more information we can get. News from single sources is not enough for us to get well informed. I have an example can exemplify this. My uncle lives in rural areas that are far away from city. Last year he came to my home to spend the spring festival; he was so surprised that my mother got a promotion, which happened about half a year ago. He was astonished because he seldom calls my mother. If we could connect more frequently during a year, he could know the news about our family.


more --- the more; 第一句作为总起句不好，因为意思不明确。你应该论述，为什么，而不是陈述事实。不用你说读者也明白，途径越多信息越多，你应该论述这样有什么好处，怎么帮助人们weill-informed。另外例子举的也不够贴切，文章是在论述媒体，这里的信息应该指媒体传递的信息，而不是与家人通电话。

3 {3 }  }5 z" Y9 V7 }
Secondly, the news we get from one source usually can not cover the truth about the whole thing. Anyway, the editor and author are human being, they will have their personal feeling about certain news, for example, the news from newspaper, could not show the every details for their audiences. Thus, it is important for us to have variety of information sources. I remember my best friend told me a story about her own experience. She once saw a video through the Internet, the girl in it was hitting another girl, and people surrounded did not help the other girl until the police came. My friend didn’t understand why the other people surrounded did not help and she felt sad about that girl. Until she had a chance to watch television, she saw the other face of the story. The girl was being hit was a rubber. Then, she understood why those people didn’t help.


举例的时候不用说明是你的朋友的故事，你可是直接说成是你的故事，这样让读者感觉更真切。此外最后应该加结尾句，再次强调你本段的论点。


As we discussed above, we may safely draw the conclusion that people can be well informed if they have more sources of information. This can help them to get news in the first time and understand the truth of a story.


总体来说，文章篇幅较短，论证也不够有力。通常我们选择三个分论点来论述，当你选择论述两点的时候，就要保证每个分论点论述的很充分，例子生动具体，开头和结尾都有中心句。反观你的文章，每一点做的都不是很好。希望你以后写文章之前先形成一个提纲，几个论点，每个论点怎么论述，每个论点用什么样的例子去支撑。总之让你的文章更加饱满一些。语言方面，语法错误不多，但是用词不够丰富，同义词的替换较少，缺少一些点亮文章的fancy word。

yangqianleiUID: 2587096

111# amingsnow
很有道理，很有帮助，非常非常感谢！

zzjiezzUID: 2436116

谢谢啊 ~不过现在我好像时间已经不多了也不知道要怎么增加句型。一般作文要写多少字才行呢 ？

zzjiezzUID: 2436116

教师是否应该获得跟doctors,lawyers,business leaders一样的收入
这是我看了你的建议之后写的一篇，会不会比之前的好一点？麻烦啦楼主~我这周末就要考试了~

There is a general debate over the phenomena that whether teachers should receive the same payment as other job positions like lawyers, doctors and business leaders. Some people think that they deserve the equal salary because it is the teachers who cultivate those lawyers and doctors. But as for me, I hold the opposite opinion, for the follow reasons.

First, doctors and lawyers contribute more to this society. Doctors help to save lives for the patients, and they work day and night for those people who are sick. While lawyers have to stand in a court in order to help innocent people, and put bad gays into jail. It is them who can keep the world justice. I remember last year, the doctor who treat me have to operate 4 surgeries within one day. He had to prepare his first one when he just started his work. I can feel the pressure he had, he knew his operation is important and he knew he has to work perfectly. I really think people like them should get more payment.

Second, doctors, lawyers and business leaders have professional knowledge that few people have. Before they have their officinal job, they have to study harder than other people. They spent so much time on their study while students in other major were playing, once they become a professional, they definitely need to get a higher salary for their hard working.

Finally, teachers usually have long vacations. Students have their summer and winter vacations so teachers do not have to work during that time. However, doctors, lawyers and business leaders have to work 5 days a week and almost every week in a year. Sometimes, they even need to work overtime to finish their designated jobs. For example, doctors can not go home to spend the spring festival with their family, which is the most important festival in China, since the traffic accidents during the festival is much more than normal days. They work so hard to keep us safe; I think they need high payment.

In conclusion, teachers do not deserve they high payment like doctors, lawyers and business leaders. Since they have less contribution, less professional knowledge and do not to work long time during a year.

cxyu841216UID: 2653989

LZ我马上要考了,麻烦帮我再看下,谢谢了
AD: Since the problem of enviroment is complicated, nothing can be done by individual

Nowadays, the problem of enviroment, as the common problem in global, becomes more and more serious. As a result, most of public consider the issue belongs to responsibility of government, so authority in every country is responsible to solve the problem. Although many measures are enacted by government indeed, these measures are executed by citizen. Individual behavior has effect on enviroment in various aspects.

If individual can restrict own behavior, the problem of enviroment will be alleviated largely. Accumulation of an multitude of rubbish is caused by human, if everyone has a consciousness to make good use of any rubbish, such as cyclic using them, the number of garbage will be decreased obviously. Throwing garbage into garbage can rather than on the road is the obligation of every citizen, even if the garbage can is not your adjacent site. Besides, the crisis of energy is also payed close attention by all over world, because of increaseing of population and requirement. Therefore, when individual leaving house should turn off light and water, or economizes electricity and water as possible as you can, which will save a great deal of energy for humankind. Consequencely, individual power is assembled can produce enormous strength to assuage enviromental pressures.

Increasing of private cars results not noly pollution in atmosphere but also consuming of gasoline. Nevertheless, if more people choose public bus as transport vehicle not their private cars, the phenomena of traffic congestion is alleviated so that government dosen’t enlarge wider roads to satify the need of traffic jam, in fact, enlarging roads will also occupy habitats of animals and destruct ecological balance. Moreover, more cars use enable pollution to become more serious, according to some authoritative investigations, 70 percents of pollution in air, especially in metropolitans, comes from the tail gas of automobiles. So individual giving up taking advantage of car could dwindle much discharging of tail gas. At the same time, expending of gasoline decreased relieves the current burden of petroleum, which is not renewed resource on earth. Explorion of pertroleum generates lots of destructions to our planet, either.

In a word, individual influence to enviroment is boundless, no matter the effects are benefical or noxious. If everyone restricts himself to every small thing, it is not hard to deal with the problem of enviroment. People should not attribute responsibility to authority merely, but to themselves, or circumstance will be more severe constantly.

sheriUID: 2541243

谢谢楼主，大好人，帮我改一下吧，太感谢了:)


题目：103. In your opinion, what is the most important characteristic (for example, honesty, intelligence, a sense of humor) that a person can have to be successful in life? Use specific reasons and examples from your experience to explain your answer. When you write your answer, you are not limited to the examples listed in the question.


我的作文：
Success is the final goal for the vast majority of people ,but only a small part of them can fulfill their dream . Why? Looking people who can be defined as successful in most people’s defination ,it’s hard for us to discover that there are three main characteristics one must be well equipped to achieve their life goal---optimistic,persistent,and practical.

First of all ,I want to state a principle that what evaluates that whether a person is successful or not is not only achievements they get ,but what drawbacks  he or she have sustained. The latter standard can demonstrate how tough one person is ,and only this kind of person ,who has pass through difficulities normal people can not ,is the real successful one .So, in this case ,we can know how important optimism plays in a successful people’life, as it provides us with power to conquer difficulities we meet and hope to the bright future.
Beside ,admittedly ,there are some people who are born with a opitmistic personality,but definitely ,we can not refer to them all as successful people. Why? Because success also calls for persistence . Rome city is not built in one day .Long hard effort is the most basid ingredient for success. For example ,every olympic champion can be called a successful person that their achievements are result for decades continuous practice.
Finally ,every success is a great thing ,but success is never equal to impractical dreaming .To take one most famous example ,Don Quixote,who always dreams to be a knight,never really makes his dream realized for he is a impractical dreamer.Real success is the result of day-to-day practical doing.
To sum up ,if every good characteristic is important for success, the premely important three are to be optimistic, persistent,and practical.

298words

tomandjerry0921UID: 2598414

people always buy product not because they really need it but because other people own the product.（人们购买物品不是因为真的需要，而是因为别人有了这样的物品）

Nowadays, with the rapid development of technology and economy, people’s living levels have been greatly improved, people need more things than they used to. But the reasons why people buy things are varied. The question has been rised, “Does people buy thing not bacause they really need but bacause others buy?” Taking many factors in to consideration, I belive that although people may be affected by other people, they buy things mainly bacause they need it and like it.
To begin with, people need some baisc things to ensure their daily life, such as food and water. When they buy these foundational things, they do need them and not affected by others.
Secondly, people buy things for their own interests. Beside the basic things, people also need many other things to make their life more special and different from each other. For example, all people have to buy clothes, but they don’t choose the same types or colors. Some people like wearing black suits, while some like wearing blue jeans. They choose what they like but not because what things others buy.
What’ more, people buy things for their own tradition. People live in different places and different environments, so they have different culture. Take the Chinese as an example, they like drinking tea, so they always buy tea and drink tea. But the Americans like drinking coffee instead if tea, they buy coffee or drink coffee in Starbark.
There also have some possiabily that people may affected by others. People have more communication with each other, they may have some common senses. Many things are so popular that evey one wants to have one even they don’t really need it. Foe axample, the Joradn serises of Nike are prised, the fans want to get all of them because others buy the shoes.

All in all, people do not like to west money to buy the things they don’t need. They take serious consideration befor they buy things.And they would buy what they like but not others like.

wuqian0801UID: 2637709

We all work or will work in our jobs with many different kinds of people. In your opinion, what are some important characteristics of a co-worker (someone you work closely with)? Use specific reasons and specific examples to explain why these characteristics are important

This is an age of fierce social competition, thus we need to accomplish our tasks with our partners to have a better efficiency. At present which qualities should a co-worker must have triggered a heated discussion that ever-increasing people feel concerned about. Smart, humorous, knowledgeable are the appealing characteristics so that it is wonderful that if a co-worker has those virtues. From my point of view, as a co-worker, the most important qualities are considerate, diligent and helpful. The leading reasons are listed as follows.

Firstly, a considerate partner will make the cooperation to be much better.  As we all know, if you have a workmate who is considerate or understanding, it would enable you feel more comfortable. For instance, my uncle is a leader of his company and also he is a co-worker of his whole team. He often cares more about his partners’ healthy condition and reduces their workload when they were busy. Sometime, when he found his workmates make some mistakes, he will encourage his co-workers and tell them how to avoid these faults. Consequently, uncle’s firm operates well and the relationship of his co-workers is close, too. Uncle cannot be a successful manager without caring about his co-workers.

Secondly, the other necessary personality of a co-worker is diligent. In my case, when I was in high school, once my teacher assigned us a group work. Tom is my co-worker. He is a diligent and responsible boy. To do our assignment, we have to go to the library to find some useful information and, Tom never late or leave earlier and always realizes every detail we need to quote. His roommates told me, he burns the midnight oil to do the research and revision. He sets a good example for me, so we study together and make progress together. When we handed in our assignment, our teacher said, “Wow, it’s the most remarkable report I have ever seen” and then, we got a high score.

Lastly, beside the aforementioned qualities of a co-worker, we still cannot overlook the merit of helpful. Undoubtedly, you may have a difficult period when you are facing the problem you can deal with in your work. And then if you have a workmate who is helpful and kind, he or she will provide you a hand appropriately. They can give you the solution and tell you how to solve these issues next time, then the progression you will make.

To sum up, a co-worker who has the personalities of considerate, diligent and helpful can stimulate us make a mutual progression and obtain more knowledge. Although we cannot imagine if a co-worker isn’t a smart or humorous one and how can we cope with the operations well, the fact we need to admit that the qualities of considerate, diligent and helpful have an advantage over the smart or humorous.

樓主儘快幫我看看吧...  謝謝啦.:)

wuqian0801UID: 2637709

一看..才發現寫了476words ... 會太多么?
字數是多少比較合適啊?