一个新手的疑惑

wx2228UID: 2635193

刚刚开开始准备作文 把ETS关于作文的介绍看了一遍 把他给的六篇范文看了下 然后开始写第一篇
Six months ago the region of Forestville increased the speed limit for vehicles traveling on the region's highways by ten miles per hour.
Since that change took effect, the number of automobile accidents in that region has increased by 15 percent.
But the speed limit in Elmsford, a region neighboring Forestville, remained unchanged, and automobile accidents declined slightly during the same six-month period.
Therefore, if the citizens of Forestville want to reduce the number of automobile accidents on the region's highways, they should campaign to reduce Forestville's speed limit to what it was before the increase.


The argument sounds reasonable at the first sight.The fact that the number of vehicle accident in Forestville is higher than that in Elmsford after the region of Foresstville raise the speed limit in highways promotes the author to draw the conclusion that the speed limit is too high to guarantee safety in Forestville .But several flaws weaken the report.

However,the writer don’t consider all the possilbe reasons which can heighten the amount of accident happened in Forestbvile.For example,the road condition in Forestville is untold,poor situtation of roads can prompt accdient to occur on the highway.Maybe the Forestville has more coarse roads or sharp turns. Also,the frequence of using autombile in Frestville remains unclear in the whole
test.if the citizens in Elmsford are more likely to walk or take public transportation,on the other side,people in Forestville love to drive their own cars in the daily life,accident may occur much more less in Elmsford than that in Forestville.

A significant factor which must be considered in this report is the weather.Nevertheless,the author overlooked this element.The two different areas may have total different weathers in
six-month period.The bad weather can cause a lot of accidents in
highway.Fog can dim the sight in front of drivers,rain and snow can fail
the brake.Besides,six month is not a enough long time for a reliable survey.Investgator should study the statistic of a longer period perhaps one year .


Overall,it’s irresponsible to arrive at the conclusion before taking all the factors into account.Region of Forestivlle and the local government should think more to ensure their measures which they will take is effective.


这是我写的  

我知道有很多不足  几乎是垃圾。。我想问问 这篇的逻辑和结构怎么样？句式和用词我应该怎么提高？还有 网上大家都是Arugment 几十几 这个编号是怎么来的？

谢谢~

bobo19890313UID: 2622130

开头

bobo19890313UID: 2622130

开头不要太过于模板化，多读读北美范文掌握其中的语言，但是别用模板攻击，那样的效果并不好，灵活运用，在冲刺阶段的情况下可以不写结尾，尽量充实每个例子~！个人愚见，进攻参考！

wx2228UID: 2635193

3# bobo19890313

谢谢。。我就看了ETS给的6篇范文的5和6分的作文。。刚刚开始 北美范文是很重要的参考？背范文有用吗？