独立写作作业

素怿UID：2630430

第一次发作文贴。。。大家帮我看看吧~~~
语法很烂，错误肯定很多。。。大家狠拍吧，谢谢

Do you agree or disagree: people should live in the city or country all life instead of moving to another place
Many people tend to stay in the same place for avoiding trouble things with moving to another place, no matter in the city or country. While another group of people say life is like a journey, that during different periods we would stay in vary places. For my part, I would be willing to move in different places rather than live in the city or country all life.
To start with, in another place we would make different friends. Obviously, when we are newer in a place, some strangers will become best friends in our following life. The same experience about this place for us is irreplaceable. When I was a junior high school student, I transferred to a new school in shanghai from my hometown. In the new class, I made many friends with my new classmate who offered me greatly help in both study and life. I never forgot my old friends who still stayed in my hometown, but this transformation gave a chance for me to meet new friends.
Moreover, different cities have different local cultures. Typically, Shanghai is a modern city with fast speed of life, Beijing is a historical city and Chengdu is an old city where people are comfortable to live. A local culture always has influenced the people’s attitude about life greatly. Now my university is in shanghai, and after 3years studying here, I am used to do everything with an effective way and gain more fashion factors than I was in my home town, a small city.
Last but not least, our struggle spirit would be stimulated easily in a new place. A new place usually means a beginning of a new life in which we have little friend but be offered a better job. We should adapt the new pattern of life, at the same time everything would be set up step by step on ourselves. If we still live the old place, nothing would attract our interests and we’ll lose the passion about life.
Admittedly, moving to another place is bound to cause a lot of trouble things to us. The obvious one is moving house. However, it must be noted that, the advantage of living in different places far overweight its disadvantages.

asandylauUID：2649369

Many people tend to stay in the same place for avoiding trouble things (compared)with moving to another place, no matter in the city or country. While (去掉another group of people) （加others） say life is like a journey, that during different periods we would stay in vary places. For my part, I would be willing to move in（去掉in，加to） different places rather than live in the city or country all life.8 k0 t/ }# z0 y( ]* U; H
To start with, in another place we would make different friends. Obviously, when we are newer(加s) in a place, some strangers will become best friends in our following life. （加at the same time）The same experience about this place for us is irreplaceable. When I was a junior high school student, I transferred to a new school in shanghai from my hometown. In the new class, I made many friends with my new classmate who offered me greatly help in both study and life. I never forgot my old friends who still stayed in my hometown, but this transformation（改为transfer） gave a chance for me to meet new friends.
& v- ~- Q3 R/ w: b# B4 e' K- oMoreover, different cities have different local cultures. Typically, Shanghai is a modern city with fast speed of life, Beijing is a historical city and Chengdu is an old city where people are comfortable to live. A local culture always has influenced（改为influences） the people’s attitude about life greatly. Now my university is in shanghai, and after 3years studying here, I am used to do everything with an effective way and gain more fashion factors than I was in my home town, a small city. / S3 N' ^& j: M0 R. H1 j
Last but not least, our struggle spirit（感觉太Chinglish） would be stimulated easily in a new place.（加Moving to） A new place usually means a beginning of a new life in which we have little（改为fewer） friend but be （加possiblely）offered a better job. We should adapt（加ourselves to） the new pattern of life, at the same time everything would be set up（太Chinglish） step by step on ourselves. If we still live （加in）the old（改为same） place, nothing would attract our interests and we’ll lose the passion about life.
, b* e  w" Q# v$ X* M0 v* i1 A# B) lAdmittedly, moving to another place is bound to cause a lot of trouble things to us. The obvious one is moving house. However, it must be noted that, the advantage of living in different places far overweight its disadvantages. ! p+ I) S, G. f

文章
文章结构不是太好，最后一段中的让步应该写进前一段，把3个支持的变成两个，或者就不要写搬家的坏处，总体来说不错，有些表达需要注意。

素怿UID：2630430

谢谢O(∩_∩)O

素怿UID：2630430

12.2 It is more fun to see a movie in the cinema with other people than see a movie at home.

Most people like movies no matter in the cinema or at home. Super movie fans support the idea that seeing a movie in the cinema is much better than at home. However, I challenge this opinion with the following reasons.
First of all, it is convenience for us to see a movie at home. At home we could do anything that we want, such as eating chips and something ohers when we are watching the film, while we are in the cinema, we must keep quiet to prevent disturbing other audience. In such a competition society, more and more people should be available at any time. Apparently, even if we went out to recall the urgent phone in the cinema, the missing plot in the movie wasn’t played again. Nevertheless, we could answer the phone at any moment with the movie paused.
Another situation is that for most people, there is no cinema in the community, so they have no choice but to drive to a further place in order to see a movie in the cinema. In this case, if the movie ended up at midnight, obviously, it was not safe for people, especially for girls, to return home. Under such circumstances, there is nothing better than watching a movie at home.
Moreover, we could see any moment of the film and our favorite classic movies. As we all know that, there is a schedule in a cinema, so if we want to see the movie in it, we must make a choice in this certain range. The situation is different when we see it at home. We could find the movie what we like on the internet, and the classical movies, which are not shown in the cinema, could be watched on the computer.
At the same time, seeing a film at home is a way to reduce the life expanse. It is almost zero cost to enjoy a movie for us and the purpose to have a relax and entertainment has achieved. Why don’t you do this?
Admittedly, many people bolster the opinion that the atmosphere in the cinema lets people concentrate themselves on the movie easily. However, if we turn off the light to see a movie, we could also immerge ourselves in the plots.

素怿UID：2630430

12.2 It is more fun to see a movie in the cinema with other people than see a movie at home.

Most people like movies no matter in the cinema or at home. Super movie fans support the idea that seeing a movie in the cinema is much better than at home. However, I challenge this opinion with the following reasons.
First of all, it is convenience for us to see a movie at home. At home we could do anything that we want, such as eating chips and something ohers when we are watching the film, while we are in the cinema, we must keep quiet to prevent disturbing other audience. In such a competition society, more and more people should be available at any time. Apparently, even if we went out to recall the urgent phone in the cinema, the missing plot in the movie wasn’t played again. Nevertheless, we could answer the phone at any moment with the movie paused.
Another situation is that for most people, there is no cinema in the community, so they have no choice but to drive to a further place in order to see a movie in the cinema. In this case, if the movie ended up at midnight, obviously, it was not safe for people, especially for girls, to return home. Under such circumstances, there is nothing better than watching a movie at home.
Moreover, we could see any moment of the film and our favorite classic movies. As we all know that, there is a schedule in a cinema, so if we want to see the movie in it, we must make a choice in this certain range. The situation is different when we see it at home. We could find the movie what we like on the internet, and the classical movies, which are not shown in the cinema, could be watched on the computer.
At the same time, seeing a film at home is a way to reduce the life expanse. It is almost zero cost to enjoy a movie for us and the purpose to have a relax and entertainment has achieved. Why don’t you do this?
Admittedly, many people bolster the opinion that the atmosphere in the cinema lets people concentrate themselves on the movie easily. However, if we turn off the light to see a movie, we could also immerge ourselves in the plots.

soarer0474UID：2665789

12.2 It is more fun to see a movie in the cinema with other people than see a movie at home.
2 y# a5 T, ~. w! f: Y6 c5 ~% ~6 D; I8 D. w4 T
Most people like movies no matter in the cinema or at home. Super movie fans support the idea that seeing a movie in the cinema is much better than at home. However, I challenge this opinion with the following reasons（前两句应该中间加连词，而且三句话结构安排不好， 互相之间都是转折了，建议前两句换顺序）." G+ Z: g& p8 y
First of all, it is convenience (convenient) for us to see a movie at home. At home (去掉重复了)we could do anything that we want, such as eating chips and something ohers when we are watching the film, while we are in the cinema, we must keep quiet to prevent disturbing other audiences】. （加连词）In such a competition（competitive） society, more and more people should be available at any time. Apparently, even if we went out to recall the urgent phone in the cinema, the missing plot in the movie wasn’t played again. Nevertheless, we could answer the phone at any moment with the movie paused.
8 p4 w, B8 l9 p8 Z$ Y# X4 |Another situation is that for most people, there is no cinema in the community, so they have no choice but to drive to a further place in order to see a movie in the cinema. In this case, if the movie ended up at midnight, obviously, it was not safe for people, especially for girls, to return home. Under such circumstances, there is nothing better than watching a movie at home.2 g2 b: y% {: ?
Moreover, we could see any moment of the film and our favorite classic movies. As we all know that, there is a schedule in a cinema, so if we want to see the movie in it, we must make a choice in this certain range. The situation is different when we see it at home. We could find the movie what we like on the internet, and the classical movies, which are not shown in the cinema, could be watched on the computer.
( a! O3 {% p8 V' QAt the same time, seeing a film at home is a way to reduce the life expanse？. It is almost zero cost to enjoy a movie for us and the purpose to have a relax and entertainment has achieved. Why don’t you do this?
1 G5 g% L% b5 A6 H4 |Admittedly, many people bolster the opinion that the atmosphere in the cinema lets people concentrate themselves on the movie easily. However, if we turn off the light to see a movie, we could also immerge ourselves in the plots.

整体来说写的不错，只是开头和第二段的机构中间缺乏必要的连词，另外最后最好有个总结

素怿UID：2630430

12.8 printed book have had greater effects on society than television has？

When it comes to the issue that whether printed book or television has had greater effects on society, increasing people who tend to get access to information by watching TV support that television has greater influence on our society. However, this point has been questioned by another group of people who maintain that printed books could benefit people more than television. In my point of view, I prefer the latter opinion.

To start with, printed books are easy to take. Therefore, we could read it everywhere. Although television has been population in modern society, there are still a lot of problems which is hard to solve, such as people must stay at room to watch it or in a certain place, and television couldn’t play its action without electricity. In the contrast, books have its irreplaceable advantage. No matter where we are, we all could gain knowledge from printed books. For example, my friend Alex had worked as a volunteer in a small primary school at a remote town in the west of China last year. He told me that, there was no signal, no television and beyond the internet, and he had to spent most of free time on reading books that he carried there.

Furthermore, the thought that books contained is hard to be expressed totally by the TV programs. As we all know, television transmit news by pictures and sounds, while mind is an abstract thing which is illustrated more easily by words than by pictures. That’s the reason why we learn knowledge in school main through books rather than videos. Television is just as a means of mass communication. Nevertheless, the development of society should be promoted by those people who read the printed books and understand the thought in them.

Last but not least, printed books could cover a large range over the different kinds of thought, culture, achievement and so on in thousands years, while the advent of television is just through decades. Based on the past, we could have a better future. Only printed books could represent history by the description of words. Documentary films that showed on TV also get the information from printed books.
As I mentioned above, there is no doubt that printed books play a greater role during the development of our society. Admittedly, television interacts with books increasing. It is a long way to go for television to have an equal standing with books.

shirley072UID：2712200

When it comes to the issue thatwhether printed book or television has had greater effects on society,increasing people who tend to get access to information by watching TV supportthat television has greater influence on our society. However, this point hasbeen questioned by another group of people who maintain that printed books couldbenefit people more than television. In my point of view, I prefer the latteropinion.


To start with, printed books areeasy to take. Therefore, we could read it everywhere. Although television hasbeen population in modern society, there are still a lot of problems which ishard to solve, such as people must stay at room to watch it or in a certainplace, and television couldn’t play its action without electricity (and television works relying on the electricity，我也写得不好，但是play its action看起来不对。。。). In thecontrast, books have its irreplaceable advantage. No matter where we are, weall could gain knowledge from printed books. For example, my friend Alex hadworked as a volunteer in a small primary school at a remote town in the west ofChina last year. He told me that, there was no signal, no television and beyondthe internet, and he had to spent most of free time on reading books that hecarried there.


Furthermore, the thought that bookscontained (?什么意思) is hard to be expressed totally by the TV programs. As we allknow, television transmit news by pictures and sounds, while mind is anabstract thing which  isillustrated more easily by words than by pictures (这句话要重写，这样表达太中国话了). That’s the reason why we learnknowledge in school main through books rather than videos. Television is justas a means of mass communication. Nevertheless, the development of societyshould be promoted by those people who read the printed books and understandthe thought in them.


Last but not least, printed bookscould cover a large range over the different kinds of thought, culture,achievement and so on in (during)thousands years, while the advent of television is just through decades. Basedon the past, we could have a better future. Only printed books could representhistory by the description of words. Documentary films that showed on TV alsoget the information from printed books.
As I mentioned above, there is nodoubt that printed books play a greater role during the development of oursociety. Admittedly, television interacts with books increasing. It is a longway to go for television to have an equal standing with books.


总的来说我觉得楼主的文字运用还是不错滴，很顺畅
主要是论点，前面两个论点详细的说了book方便携带，以及book更容易被我们大脑接收？但是这都是book的优点，没有具体说到对社会的影响上面，在我看来直到 the development of society should be promoted by those people whoread the printed books这句话，才开始提到了effect，所以我觉得不太切题，那些优点可以说啊，但是想我提到的这句话，就应该展开说说，要过渡到影响上面，这个才是最重要滴

个人意见啦~~~~

sosodiuUID：2731702

12.8 printed book have had greater effects on society than television has？

When it comes to the issue that whether printed book or television has had greater effects on society, increasing people who tend to get access to information by watching TV support that television has greater influence on our society. However, this point has been questioned by another group of people who maintain that printed books could benefit people more than television. In my point of view, I prefer the latter opinion.

To start with, printed books are easy to take. Therefore, we could read it everywhere. Although television has been population in modern society, there are still a lot of problems which is hard to solve, such as people must stay at room to watch it or in a certain place, and television couldn’t play its action without electricity（考试时是不是不能写couldn’t的？ 我也不知。。。好像don’t就不行 play its action换成work之类简单易懂的就好~）. In the contrast, books have its irreplaceable advantage. No matter where we are, we all could gain knowledge from printed books. For example, my friend Alex had worked as a volunteer in a small primary school at a remote town in the west of China last year. He told me that, there was no signal, no television and beyond the internet(beyond 这样用有点怪怪的也~这里要表示的是一个客观的没有吧~), and he had to spent most of free time on reading books that he carried there(用have to 有点勉强的感觉 哈哈 应该描述的欢快点嘛~例子就更有力啦~).

Furthermore, the thought that books contained is hard to be expressed totally by the TV programs. As we all know, television transmit news by pictures and sounds, while mind（concept） is an abstract thing which is illustrated more easily by words than by pictures. That’s the reason why we learn knowledge in school main （mainly）through books rather than videos. Television is just as a means of mass communication. Nevertheless(前后两句话转折并不是很明显~可以在前面丰富一下television的东西 把这个转折突出出来~或者考虑换一个逻辑词), the development of society should be promoted by those people who read the printed books and understand the thought in them（个人觉得这句话型OK~但无铺垫突然上升到社会发展should be太突兀了 这句其实可以放在开文或者结尾作全文的深化 而放在分段中没有论证铺垫的情况下显得意义太大了一点~~对于这一段的结尾可以尽量从该小段主旨作一个深化~）
Last but not least, printed books could(建议用have 以一个完成式出现 这样前后对比更有力 could语义稍微弱一点) cover a large range over the different kinds of thought, culture, achievement and so on in thousands years, while the advent of television is just through decades. Based on the past, we could have a better future. Only printed books could represent history by the description of words. Documentary films that showed on TV also get the information from printed books.
As I mentioned above, there is no doubt that printed books play a greater role during the development of our society. Admittedly, television interacts with books increasing(increasingly). It is a long way to go for television to have an equal standing with books.

我觉得你观点很明晰 错误也很少~ 基本架构都很OK~
加油~！别看我一段一段的写~都是废话来的~你的句式长短穿插节奏很好~。。。。鼓掌
论点内部逻辑层次上抓一下 就好~

素怿UID：2630430

12.9
Do you agree or disagree teacher who is a serious and strict person more effective than a teacher is humor and is easygoing person.

As children is the future of our society, people pay increasing attention on the quality of teachers and start to discuss what kind of teacher is better for children's education. Many parents regard that a teacher who is a serious and strict person should be better. However, those people who challenge this opinion tend to a teacher who is a humor and easygoing person. In my point of view, I support the latter one.

To start with, a humor and easygoing teacher stimulates the students' motivation on study easily. As we all know, we are willing to follow the words said by people who we are admired. There is no doubt that a humor and easygoing teacher has more personal charming for students, no matter they are pupils or college students. It is the personal charming that drive us to listen carefully in the class. As an old saying goes: love me, love my dog. The more we like the teacher, the more we concentrate ourselves on his or her lectures. For example, when I was a high school students, I have two math teachers. The former one is strict and always assign much homework. My classmates and I didn’t like him and just finish the work he assigned, while the latter teacher is so humor and easygoing. We started to be interested in the math. Although he didn't assign much homework, we still find much drill to do. That's why a humor and easygoing teacher could have more effective on students' study

Furthermore, a kind teacher is easy to interact with his or her students more. It is not hard to understand that we are afraid to talk with a teacher who looks serious. Facing an easygoing teacher, we could communicate with him or her about our own ideas of his or her lecture. After class, we could make friends with the easygoing teacher rather than strict teachers. Obviously, more interaction with teacher is beneficial to our studying.

Admittedly, to some naught children, a serious and strict teacher could ask students to complete their homework in time by some serious methods, but it doesn't solved the problem from their inner mind and the students could be tired of studying sooner or latter. Therefore, in a long run, teacher who is a humor and is easygoing person more effective than a teacher is a serious and strict person.

line126UID：2556583

As children is the future of our society, people pay increasing attention on the quality of teachers and start to discuss what kind of teacher is better for children's education. Many parents regard that a teacher who is a serious and strict person should be better. However, those people who challenge this opinion tend to a teacher who is a humor and easygoing person. In my point of view, I support the latter one.开题不错
7 Y' ~& \* N% b/ d5 c. |; p  g2 r. K8 _3 r) e
To start with, a humorous and easygoing teacher stimulates the students' motivation on study easily. As we all know, we are willing to follow the words said by people who we are admired. There is no doubt that a humor and easygoing teacher has more personal charming for students, no matter they are pupils or college students. It is the personal charming that drive us to listen carefully in the class. As an old saying goes: love me, love my dog. The more we like the teacher, the more we concentrate ourselves on his or her lectures. For example, when I was a high school students, I have two math teachers. The former one is strict and always assign much homework. My classmates and I didn’t like him and just finish the work he assigned, while the latter teacher is so humor and easygoing. We started to be interested in the math. Although he didn't assign much homework, we still find much drill to do. That's why a humor and easygoing teacher could have more effective on students' study5 O5 l# ^! z9 t, g

/ k0 b6 @# {  \1 H- EFurthermore, a kind teacher is easy to interact with his or her students more. It is not hard to understand that we are afraid to talk with a teacher who looks serious. Facing an easygoing teacher, we could communicate with him or her about our own ideas of his or her lecture. After class, we could make friends with the easygoing teacher rather than strict teachers. Obviously, more interaction with teacher is beneficial to our studying.
; o! z! v+ y: N0 Q) k  o
& V' S8 A2 e" M; h' n# VAdmittedly, to some naughty children, a serious and strict teacher could ask students to complete their homework in time by some serious methods, but it doesn't solved the problem from their inner mind and the students could be tired of studying sooner or latter. Therefore, in a long run, teacher who is a humor（你和枫叶一样的问题 humor作为名词是指可笑的事情 或者幽默感；幽默的人是humorous person or a person with the sense of humor 这应该是高中的内容） and is easygoing person more effective than a teacher is a serious and strict person.

语句通顺 流畅
不过要进步的话 试着把一些“土词”换成高级的词汇 kind-genial

还有注意词的准确性 比如ask students to complete..就没有compel students to...来的准确

枫叶满天UID：2730468

As（建议用since因为后面这句话是个很多人已知的事实） children is the future of our society, people pay increasing attention on the quality of teachers and start to discuss what kind of teacher is better for children's education. Many parents regard that a teacher who is a serious and strict person should be better. However, those people who challenge this opinion tend to a teacher who is a humor and easygoing person. In my point of view, I support the latter one.
第一段中可以适当加入后面的主题句观点，直接，要不批卷的人看完了会说：没有实质性的内容让我白读了一段。

j! `6 T" \% C
To start with, a humor and easygoing teacher stimulates the students' motivation on study easily. As we all know, we are willing to follow the words said by people who we are admired(admire). There is no doubt that a humor and easygoing teacher has more personal charming for students, no matter they are pupils or college students. It is the personal charming that drive(s) us to listen carefully in the class. As an old saying goes: love me, love my dog. The more we like the teacher, the more we concentrate ourselves on his or her lectures. For example, when I was a high school students, I have two math teachers. The former one is strict and always assign much homework. My classmates and I didn’t like him and just finish the work he assigned, while the latter teacher is so humor and easygoing. We started to be interested in the math. Although he didn't assign much homework, we still find much drill to do. That's why a humor and easygoing teacher could have（删掉have改成be比较好） more effective on students' study" B8 u  x! A' }" X! n9 |
（建议可以不用自己的例子吧，因为不是很能支持论点，可以换个比如说爸爸，他曾经有个化学老师很幽默，然后怎么怎么样，最后爸爸成了一位从事化学的工作者。）

Furthermore(In addition会比较好点）, a kind teacher is easy to interact with his or her students more. It is not hard to understand（ 比较中式，改成obvious较好）that we are afraid to talk with a teacher who looks serious. Facing an easygoing teacher, we could communicate with him or her （其实可以直接写成his，当然不是没有女老师，因为ETS给出的很多5分范文里都是这样的，其实his就默认代表了his/her，这样自己写作文的时候免得考虑是不是每处都要写成his/her这样的形式啊？很麻烦的）about our own ideas of his or her lecture. After class, we could make friends with the easygoing teacher rather than strict teachers. Obviously, more interaction with teacher is beneficial to(for) our studying.


F2 A) n/ k# j/ u( g, S5 m5 M
Admittedly, to some naught children, a serious and strict teacher could ask students to complete their homework in time by some serious methods, but it doesn't solved the problem from their inner mind and the students could be tired of studying sooner or latter. Therefore, in a long run, teacher who is a humor and is easygoing person (will be )more effective than a teacher(who) is a serious and strict person.