12。4 作文 改

yuminjiaUID: 2659628

12.4 Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? People benefit more from traveling in their own country than traveling in a foreign country.3\

The heated debate pertaining to this alternative of traveling is under way. Traveling aboard seems awkward at first, but it may prove to be a more rewarding experience than traveling in domestic. Therefore, I agree with the statement that people do not benefit more from traveling in their own country than traveling in a foreign country.

To begin with, it is undeniable that traveling in a foreign country will bring us more novelty and exotic culture and custom about this foreign country. Taking my experience for example, my country is the place where can not find more ethnic minority. As a consequence, I can not contact too much diverse culture in my country. In contrast, our neighbor country is a multiple nation which worth to visit for fun. Once I travel to Thailand, I am deeply impressed by the exotic custom, such as their specific costume and tropical fruit which can't be found in my own country. My trip to Thailand absolutely made me get more fruitful knowledge than I travel in domestic

Furthermore, it is also indisputable that traveling in a foreign country will open a new prospect to our mind and broaden our horizon, since we can attain more unparallel experience than have a travel in our own country. Take my roommate for instance, once she scheduled to go to Australia, the place more suitable to diving than that in my own country. For this reason, she thoroughly scheduled a plan for the most professional diving coach program, which not only focus on the academic, but also concentrate on the practice. For my perspective, this experience involving some DIY traveling skills will benefit her more than go to our domestic beach for a monotone sun bath.

Judging from the evidence I offered above, admittedly, the impact that traveling aboard significantly preponderate over the merit that traveling in our own country. Hence, it can be claim that traveling in foreign country will have more positive effect on people's hand-on experience than traveling in our own country.
   重新修改了下

林霄麟UID: 2645553

I totally disagree with the statement that people benefit more from traveling in their own country than traveling in a foreign country. The latter seems awkward at first[awkward有些…], but it, going with various problems and obstacles, may prove to be a more extremely[个人认为这里有些问题哈，more修饰rewarding，去掉extremely] rewarding experience than the former.

First, traveling in a foreign country has numerous positive traits to share. It is the
hand-on experience that we can get from this activity. Take my own experience for[as an] example. [以我的经历举例，我想应该就该是过去式的事件了吧，后面加将来时不太合适，个人认为。我想for me就好了。]During my long vacation, I will choose a foreign country to travel, rather than go to some well-known places in my country, even the places I do not have been to. The reason that I choose foreign country as my first alternative is that I am deeply fascinated with the diverse and exotic culture and custom in those foreign countries. Due to[后加名词，不能加句子] it is an unfamiliar place I will have a travel, I will schedule my traveling by means of doing research and contacting with some local habitants in[on] internet. This DIY traveling process can bring me more experience than ever before. In contrast, I will not concentrate on those preparations if I plan to travel domestically in the sense that everything is too familiar to attract me, needless to do homework.

Second, it is the activity, traveling abroad, that will broaden our view and extend our knowledge more significantly than traveling in my country.[这句的结构有点…却又说不出哪里有问题，可能是插入语的问题吧] Take go to Austria[?], which posses a incomparable realm worth diving, for instance, it is a dream place in my traveling schedule since I cannot find any other place where the seawater is so apparent. Meanwhile, Austria is a country professional in diving activity. Due to this reason, I can learn diving skills not only focus on academic but also concentrate on practice. The coaching experience absolutely will bring me something fresh than that cannot be attained in domestic. Hence, traveling to Australia will be more attracting than have a monotone vocation on beach in my own country.

Judging from evidence offered above, I can hardly agree that people will have more beneficial consequence from traveling in their own country than traveling aboard. Considering my own experience, I persist that we can get more gainful[个人觉得这个词略有不妥] benefit from the latter, such as the arrangement skill indispensable in traveling and unparalleled experience.

yuminjiaUID: 2659628

2# 林霄麟

楼上的 我杂没找到你要改的作文呢？？？