枫叶满天 独立作文帖

枫叶满天UID：2730468

谢谢啦~~
When it comes to successful people, some people argue that they should be more like common people so that they can learn from the public, while other people posit that successful individuals are totally different from the masses due to
these qualities such as hard-working, brave, confident, foresight. From my point of view, only through doing what other people can not do can one make a successful person.

First of all, an outstanding individual should possess some particular qualities, hard-working, brave, confident and so forth. Our society is filled with such examples. For instance, if a person wants to become a super basketball star, he must own an extraordinary height. High enough as an individual is, he must work hard by practicing more like Kobe, Yaoming. Moreover, a super star has to own a brave heart because a large number of people will watch you playing basketball at the same time. Therefore, it is a couple of outstanding elements that determine a person’s success.


In addition, a successful person, to a large extent, must be an expert in his own aspect. For example, a good leader of a team had better grasp all the stuff concerning the team’s goal. Another typical example is scientist who needs to know almost everything that is related to his own profession. To be sure, so small is the number of people who can understand all the materials that few people can achieve success. Therefore, we can safely conclude that successful people should be totally different from common people in his own career.

Finally, when an individual’s behaviors are not the same as common people, the possibility is high that he will gain success. We can take the beginning of a company for example. If a person is the founder of a company, is not it necessary that he give some consideration to make a special product? If he chooses to produce the common products like computers or televisions, other big companies such as IBM, Lianxiang will compete with his company so that the company can not make a great profit. On the contrary, the manager may gain a large profit when he makes the right decision of starting the production of something what few companies can make.

As can be seen previously in this essay, I believe successful people have certain qualities that distinguish them from other people, thereby making them successful. In my opinion, the chances are good for people who are not more like others to be successful.

shirley072UID：2712200

When it comes to successful people, some peopleargue that they should be more like common people so that they can learn fromthe public, while other people posit that successful individuals are totallydifferent from the masses due to
these（their）qualities such ashard-working, brave, confident, foresight（建议such as后面直接接名词，如果有形容词，最好紧凑点，比如这句，最后的一个是名词吧，但是为什么还有逗号隔开呢）. From my point ofview, only through doing what other people can not do can one make a successfulperson.


First of all, an outstanding individual shouldpossess some particular qualities, hard-working, brave, confident
（这些都是形容词啊，不能算作quality吧） and so forth. Oursociety is filled with such examples. For instance, if a person wants to becomea super basketball star, he must own an extraordinary height. High enough as anindividual is, he must work hard by practicing（ 这句话的意思是？）more like Kobe, Yaoming. Moreover, a super star hasto own a brave heart because a large number of people will watch you playingbasketball at the same time. Therefore, it is a couple of outstanding elementsthat determine a person’s success.


In addition, a successful person, to a large extent,must be an expert in his own aspect. For example, a good leader of a team hadbetter grasp all the stuff concerning the team’s goal.Another typical example is scientist who needs to know almost everything thatis related to his own profession. To be sure, so small is thenumber of people who can understand all the materials that few people canachieve success（这句需要重新斟酌）. Therefore, we cansafely conclude that successful people should be totally different from commonpeople in his own career.


Finally, when an individual’s behaviors are not the same as common people, thepossibility is high that he will gain success. We can take the beginning of acompany for example. If a person is the founder of a company, is not itnecessary that he give(s) some consideration tomake a special product? If he chooses to produce the common products likecomputers or televisions, other big companies such as IBM, Lianxiang willcompete with his company so that the company can not make a great profit. Onthe contrary, the manager may gain a large profit when he makes the rightdecision of starting the production of something what few companies can make. (主要是这个论点的最后，我觉得要完整的说出来，既然说不能跟那些竞争，那到底做什么呢，哪些是别的公司不能做的呢？楼主可以详细的说出来啊，这样内容就比较具体，并有说服力，比如就可以说那些电脑配套的东东之类)


As can be seen previously in this essay, I believesuccessful people have certain qualities that distinguish them from otherpeople, thereby making them successful. In my opinion, the chances are good forpeople who are not more like others to be successful.


总的来说我觉得内容还不够充实，比如说第二段说quality，我觉得这一段没有说清楚，好像又是在说要workhard。第三段说要专业，这个还不错，但是第四段我觉得跟quality类似，选择哪个领域不也是能力问题或者专业问题么，总的来说，我觉得文章的脉络不够清晰呢
很多短语用的不错，不过句子的应用需要加强

sigh我写得不好~~~~

林霄麟UID：2645553

When it comes to successful people, some people argue that they should be more like common people so that they can learn from the public, while other people posit that successful individuals are totally different from the masses due to these qualities such as hard-working, brave, confident, [and]foresight. From my point of view, only through doing what other people can not do can one make[become] a successful person.

First of all, an outstanding individual should possess some particular qualities, hard-working, brave, confident and so forth. Our society is filled with such examples. For instance, if a person wants to become a super basketball star, he must[should] own an extraordinary height. High enough as an individual is,[这句话的意思是？有点不太明确啦] he must work hard by practicing more like Kobe,[and] Yaoming. Moreover, a super star has to own a brave heart because a large number of people will watch you playing basketball at the same time .[这里我觉得没有很突出particular，可以试着再加点修饰语什么的哈]Therefore, it is a couple of outstanding elements that determine a person’s success.

In addition, a successful person, to a large extent, must be an expert in his own aspect. For example, a good leader of a team had better grasp all the stuff concerning the team’s goal. Another typical example is scientist who needs to know almost everything that is related to his own profession. To be sure, so small is the number of people who can understand all the materials that few people can achieve success. Therefore, we can safely conclude that successful people should be totally different from common people in his own career.

Finally, when an individual’s behaviors are not the same as common people, the possibility is high that he will gain success. We can take the beginning of a company for example. If a person is the founder of a company, is not it necessary that he give some consideration to make a special product?[这里读着有点别扭，改成反义疑问句好些吧] If he chooses to produce the common products like computers or televisions, other big companies such as IBM, Lianxiang will compete with his company so that the company can not make a great profit. On the contrary, the manager may gain a large profit when he makes the right decision of starting the production of something what few companies can make.

As can be seen previously in this essay, I believe successful people have certain qualities that distinguish them from other people, thereby making them successful. In my opinion, the chances are good for people who are not more like others to be successful.

总体来说写的蛮好，不过要注意语气，有些地方不要太绝对了才好ho~

枫叶满天UID：2730468

12月8号 独立作文
Printed books have had great effects on society than television has?

Nowadays, some people argue that printed books can help us work out a difficult problem easily, while others posit that television definitely gives us a large amount of information what we need. From my point of view, though it is undeniable to emphasize the influence of printed books in our society, it is television that plays the major role.

To begin with, there is no doubt that television provides us with lots of multimedia information. For instance, a sports-fan can enjoy most of Olympic events live on TV, and film-fans also can appreciate their favorite films, and students may learn English on their own by watching the English Channel. As for me, I often know much information concerning different aspects such as economy, art, and culture. Thus, we can safely conclude that television, to a large extent, affects our daily lives by transmitting substantial amount of useful and immediate information that printed book can not.  

In addition, so convenient and comfortable is television that it improves our living qualities. When an individual has spare time, he may prefer to watch TV while eating snacks or cookies. It is obvious that this kind of relaxation releases his pressure so much that he can totally focus on his assignment later on. Another striking example is videophone and this invention is based on the combination of television and telephone. As we know, videophone brings us a couple of convenience and the growing number of people begins to enjoy talking with their friends or family members face to face. So, the public preference for TV reflects our satisfactions with television or the television’s influence in our daily lives.   

Finally, by no means can we ignore the significance of printed books for the simple reason that printed books can help us learn knowledge better. When a person wants to learn something involving electricity or another physical phenomenon deeply, is not it necessary for him to read a book that is related to this phenomenon? As Becon said, “the more books an individual read, the more knowledgeable he will be.” Thus, we should make full use of books to be an intellectual.

As clearly stated above, television plays a more crucial part in our society than do printed books owing to the fact that it is convenient, comfortable, and has plenty of information what we need. Moreover, printed books also change our lives in another way so that we can not neglect them.

line126UID：2556583

Nowadays, some people argue that printed books can help us work out a difficult problem easily, while others posit that television definitely gives us a large amount of information what we need. From my point of view, though it is undeniable to emphasize the influence of printed books in our society, it is television that plays the major role.+ ^4 w6 f/ I1 v4 T1 |
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To begin with, there is no doubt that television provides us with lots of multimedia information. For instance, a sports-fan can enjoy most of Olympic events live on TV, and film-fans also can appreciate their favorite films, and students may learn English on their own by watching the English Channel. As for me, I often know much information concerning different aspects such as economy, art, and culture. Thus, we can safely conclude that television, to a large extent, affects our daily lives by transmitting substantial amount of useful and immediate information that printed book can not.  
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In addition, so convenient and comfortable is television that it improves our living qualities. When an individual has spare time, he may prefer to watch TV while eating snacks or cookies. It is obvious that this kind of relaxation releases his pressure so much that he can totally focus on his assignment later on. Another striking example is videophone and this invention is based on the combination of television and telephone. As we know, videophone brings us a couple of convenience and the growing number of people begins to enjoy talking with their friends or family members face to face. So, the public preference for TV reflects our satisfactions with television or the television’s influence in our daily lives.    # G% B  c. r7 }0 D5 U
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Finally, by no means can we ignore the significance of printed books for the simple reason that printed books can help us learn knowledge better. When a person wants to learn something involving electricity or another physical phenomenon deeply, is not it necessary for him to read a book that is related to this phenomenon? As Becon said, “the more books an individual read, the more knowledgeable he will be.” Thus, we should make full use of books to be an intellectual. 9 e4 B, q+ a- e, f- ^8 ^4 f- Q+ C
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As clearly stated above, television plays a more crucial part in our society than do printed books owing to the fact that it is convenient, comfortable, and has plenty of information what we need. Moreover, printed books also change our lives in another way so that we can not neglect them.


主要是idea的问题
我觉得稍微稍微偏了一点题 因为题目其实是问对社会的影响 而你第一点都在写人们从电视可以得到他们想要的 第二点写看电视很舒服  这个和对社会的影响还是有一定的距离
其他语法 句式都不错

yunvbujimoUID：2594632

Nowadays,some people argue that printed books can help us work out a difficult problemeasily, while others posit that television definitely gives us a large amountof information what we need. From my point of view, though it is undeniable toemphasize the influence of printed books in our society, it is television thatplays the major role.8 p4 Z. x) t  i1 e2 c4 |

To begin with, there is no doubt that televisionprovides us with lots of multimedia information. For instance, a sports-fan canenjoy most of Olympic events live on TV, and film-fans also can appreciatetheir favorite films, and students may learn English on their own by watchingthe English Channel. As for me, I often know much information concerningdifferent aspects such as economy, art, and culture. Thus, we can safely concludethat television, to a large extent, affects our daily lives by transmittingsubstantial amount of useful and immediate information that printed book cannot. （ 这段各种举例都很好，论述跟全面详细）

Inaddition, so convenientand comfortable is television that it improves our living qualities(qualities of our lives). When an individual has spare time, hemay prefer to watch TV while eating snacks or cookies. It is obvious that thiskind of relaxation releases his pressure so much that he can totally focus onhis assignment later on. Another striking example is videophone and thisinvention is based on the combination of television and telephone. As we know, videophone brings us a couple ofconvenience andthe growing number of people begins to enjoy talking with their friends orfamily members face to face. So, the public preference for TV reflects oursatisfactions with television or the television’s influence in our daily lives. (有点小怀疑，后面说视频电话方便使用，能不能说明这段论点的电视方便呢？ )

Finally,by no means can we ignore the significance of printed books for the simplereason that printed books can help us learn knowledge better. When a personwants to learn something involving electricity or another physical phenomenondeeply, is not it necessary for him to read a book that is related to this phenomenon?As Becon said, “the more books an individual read, the more knowledgeable hewill be.” Thus, we should make full use of books to be an intellectual.
% 引用名言很好

Asclearly stated above, television plays a more crucial part in our society than do printed books（printed booke do吧？）（, which ）owing to the fact that it is convenient,comfortable, and has plenty of information what we need. Moreover, printedbooks also change our lives in another way so that we can not neglect them.

第一次评作文，以我现在的水平真是没什么可挑剔的了，这样的作文我想足以作为GRE的ISSUE了。。。。楼主真的是在半小时内写的400多字吗？~~~我要学习。。。

枫叶满天UID：2730468

Do you agree or disagree teacher who is a serious and strict person more effective than a teacher is humor and is easygoing person?

There is general controversy nowadays over the issue that what kind of teacher will be more effective. Those who advocate a serious teacher argue that this kind of teacher may be earnest and strict, while people who favor easygoing persons posit that these teachers can communicate with students pretty well and inspire students’ interests in learning knowledge. From my point of view, a teacher’s easygoing character plays a more crucial role in the efficiency of students’ studying.

To begin with, a sense of humor absolutely can ignite children’s interests. As Becon said, “interest is the most important teacher for child.” If a teacher could always tell jokes or play some interesting games, there is no doubt that most of his students will feel interested in him and his subject. As a result, most children may work hard in order to satisfy the teacher’s requirements. This is a self-driven action that no person forces them to do and so effective this action is that it will increase children’s efficiency. Thus, we can safely conclude that students’ achievements are closely related to a teacher who is a humor.

In addition, a teacher’s easygoing character can build up a harmonious relationship between teacher and his student. Some students may always say, “The teacher is so easygoing that I prefer to ask him lots of questions.” On the contrary, as we know, a group of students are reluctant to share a long communication with a strict or serious teacher. To be sure, only by solving all the questions do students learn knowledge effectively. Therefore, when an individual have a chance to become a teacher, is not it necessary for him to be an easygoing man?

Finally, a serious and strict teacher may also have one or two advantages such as earnest, hard-working. For instance, a strict teacher may understand the studying stuff completely and also leave students many assignments. When a student has some difficult questions to ask him, he can explain these questions quickly and expressly. Or perhaps, the strict teacher always supervises students to finish his homework pretty well. From this perspective, a strict teacher also contributes to a children’s efficiency.

As clearly stated above, a humor or easygoing teacher have far more advantages, especially interests and harmonious relationships, than a serious and strict teacher in teaching students. And also, by no means can we ignore a teacher’s earnest or strict character.

line126UID：2556583

There is a general controversy nowadays over the issue删 that what kind of teacher will be more effective. Those who advocate a serious teacher argue that this kind of teacher may be earnest and strict, while people who favor easygoing persons posit that these teachers can communicate with students pretty well and inspire students’ interests in learning knowledge. From my point of view, a teacher’s easygoing character plays a more crucial role in the efficiency of students’ studying.
8 ?( l+ `4 t* _5 K9 B: w0 U. P1 Y( h. W) |% m6 R- H, t' `' x* k7 R
To begin with, a sense of humor absolutely can ignite children’s interests. As Becon said, “interest is the most important teacher for child.” If a teacher could always tell jokes or play some interesting games, there is no doubt that most of his students will feel interested in him and his subject. As a result, most children may work hard in order to satisfy the teacher’s requirements. This is a self-driven action that no person forces them to do and so effective this action is that it will increase children’s efficiency. Thus, we can safely conclude that students’ achievements are closely related to a teacher who is a humor（不知是我孤陋寡闻还是啥 貌似没a humor这种说法 a humorous person or a person with the sense of humor）.感觉interest用得太多了，换些其他词啊passion啊ardor啥的
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3 l% F# j$ y1 @5 `In addition, a teacher’s easygoing character can build up a harmonious relationship between teacher and his students. Some students may always say, “The teacher is so easygoing用得太多 改genial that I prefer to ask him lots of questions.” On the contrary, as we know, a group of students are reluctant to share a long communication with a strict or serious teacher. To be sure, only by solving all the questions do students learn knowledge effectively. Therefore, when an individual have a chance to become a teacher, is not it necessary for him to be an easygoing man?& l9 ^2 T8 g0 Q- @
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Finally, a serious and strict teacher may also have one or two advantages such as earnest, hard-working. For instance, a strict teacher may understand the studying stuff completely and also leave students many assignments. When a student has some difficult questions to ask him, he can explain these questions quickly and expressly. Or perhaps, the strict teacher always supervises students to finish his homework pretty well. From this perspective, a strict teacher also contributes to a children’s efficiency.感觉写严格的教师的好处没写到点子上 难道幽默的教师就不回答问题 不了解教学的内容了吗？
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As clearly stated above, a humor or easygoing teacher have far more advantages, especially can trigger students' interests and bring about harmonious relationships, than a serious and strict teacher in teaching students. And also, by no means can we ignore a teacher’s earnest or strict character. 感觉最后一句没必要强调反方观点

论点清晰 条理不错
硬要说的话 下一步可以在词语的多样性上下点功夫 背点同义词啥的

素怿UID：2630430

3 x+ [- L$ C: s# C& H; t: zThere is general controversy nowadays over the issue that what kind of teacher will be more effective. Those who advocate a serious teacher argue that this kind of teacher may be earnest and strict, while people who favor easygoing persons（很少看到person加s~~不确定能不能这样用~） posit that these teachers can communicate with students pretty well and inspire students’ interests in learning knowledge. From my point of view, a teacher’s easygoing character plays a more crucial role in the efficiency of students’ studying.1 @8 G% O9 H  x# f7 A7 j
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To begin with, a sense of humor absolutely can ignite children’s interests. As Becon said, “interest is the most important teacher for child.” If a teacher could always tell jokes or play some interesting games, there is no doubt that most of his students will feel interested in him and his subject. As a result, most children may work hard in order to satisfy the teacher’s requirements. This is a
self-driven（这个词好~~赞一下） action that no person forces them to do and so effective this action is that it will increase children’s efficiency. Thus, we can safely conclude that students’ achievements are closely related to a teacher who is a humor.
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In addition, a teacher’s easygoing character can build up a harmonious relationship between teacher and his student. Some students may always say, “The teacher is so easygoing that I prefer to ask him lots of questions.” On the contrary, as we know, a group of students are reluctant to share a long communication with a strict or serious teacher. To be sure, only by solving all the questions do students learn knowledge effectively. Therefore, when an individual have a chance to become a teacher, is not it necessary for him to be an easygoing man?  |& M1 y7 M% g' d  a. Y0 [
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Finally, a serious and strict teacher may also have one or two advantages such as earnest, hard-working. For instance, a strict teacher may understand the studying stuff completely and also leave students many assignments. When a student has some difficult questions to ask him, he can explain these questions quickly and expressly. Or perhaps, the strict teacher always supervises students to finish his homework pretty well. From this perspective, a strict teacher also contributes to a children’s efficiency.（我也觉得strict teacher的优点没有写好~~可以说他们的教学方法可能会在短时间内比较有效~~~）
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As clearly stated above, a humor or easygoing teacher have far more advantages, especially interests and harmonious relationships, than a serious and strict teacher in teaching students. And also, by no means can we ignore a teacher’s earnest or strict character. （最好这句说得有点点突兀）
小建议：最好给点点实例就更好了~~~题目会要求specific examples的~~~
ps:谢谢枫叶给我的修改建议哈

枫叶满天UID：2730468

12月10号 独立作文

When I was young, my parents always asked me to work hard for the purpose of getting a full mark. So, it is necessary for me do housework actually. As I grow up, I gradually come to realize that children should help parents to do some household chores for the simple reason that it can bring us a strong body, enhance a sense of responsibility and so forth.

To begin with, there is no doubt that doing some house work will assist children to own a strong body. As we know, if a kid always works hard in learning, it may be easy for him to feel tired and do harm in his health. So, children need taking some labor activities to adjust his lifestyles. Obviously, doing housework is the wonderful choice for children who want to have a strong body, and maybe the result is that children can finish their assignments more efficiently than before. Therefore, we can safely conclude that doing housework is an effective way in helping children to possess a healthy body.

In addition, a sense of responsibility and carefulness could be formed from taking house activities. Just imagine that, a child always do housework may be willing to make rooms clean including protecting his books, cleaning his room and so on. As this child grows up, a responsibility of cleaning rooms will be firmly rooted in his mind which brings him a couple of advantages in his future. For instance, once the kid begins to work, he may hold a highly responsible for his job which makes him to be special one. The excellent quality of doing things with responsibility definitely provides him with a high possibility to achieve success in the long run.

Finally, doing housework also can help our parents mitigate part of burden. Our parents are cores of our families because they need take care of us and our grandparents. However, in the daytime, they have to spend most time on their jobs and have little time to do housework instead, and is not it necessary for us to take on part of their burden? As a child, we should share our parents’ pressure without hesitation.

As clearly stated above, it is absolutely necessary for us to do housework. To be sure, taking house activities can keep our body health, possess a sense of responsibility, and cut off our parents’ burden.

a-moon82815UID：2651591

12月10号 独立作文$ i3 J6 @/ Q8 r8 |8 m+ c+ l4 v
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When I was young, my parents always asked me to work hard for the purpose of getting a full mark. So, it is necessary for me to do housework actually. As I grow up, gradually, I come to realize that children should help parents to do some household chores for the simple reason that it can bring us a strong body, enhance a sense of responsibility and so forth. " n% `. y/ {



begin with, there is no doubt that doing some house work will assist children to own a strong body. As we know, if a kid always works hard in learning, it may be easy for him to feel tired and do harm in his health. For instance, my sister who is 7 years old, spent 10 hours in study a day. obviously, she finally get sick last week, and the reason said by a doctor was that she did not take exercise and her immunity declined. (举一个具体的例子在这会更有说服力) So, children need taking some labor activities to adjust his lifestyles. Obviously, doing housework is the wonderful choice for children who want to have a strong body, and maybe the result is that children can finish their (his) assignments more efficiently than before（换一个词可能好些，表达的时间有些模糊）. Therefore, we can safely conclude that doing housework is an effective way in helping children to possess a healthy body.! n+ [. Q; @, j+ r*



TIn addition, a sense of responsibility and carefulness (这个观点没有展开) could be formed from taking house activities. Just imagine that, a child always do housework may
willing (serve) to make rooms clean including protecting his books,cleaning his room
(和前面重复) and so on. As this child grows up, a responsibility of cleaning rooms，which brings him a couple of advantages in his future
，will be firmly rooted in his mind. For instance, once the kid begins to work, he may hold a highly responsible for his job which makes him to be special one. The excellent quality of doing things with responsibility definitely provides him with a high possibility to achieve success in the long run.

Finally, doing housework also can help our parents mitigate part of burden. Our parents are cores of our families because they need take care of us and (as well) our grandparents. However, in the daytime, they have to spend most time, such as more than 8 hours a day, on their jobs and have little time to do housework instead. Thus, is not it necessary for us to take on part of their burden? Let our parents have time to relax themselves. As a child, we should share our parents’ pressure without hesitation.1 t+ p. n5 B

As clearly stated above, absolutely, it is necessary for us to do housework. To be sure, taking house activities can keep our body health, possess a sense of responsibility, and cut off our parents’ burden.

如果补充一部份阐述，第一，学习的好处，第二，玩（这一方面一点都没有提及，会否影响评分？）可能会更好些

SilentScorpiusUID：2686998

When I was young,my parents always asked me to work hard for the purpose of getting afull mark. So, it is (not) necessary for me do housework actually. As I growup, I gradually come to realize that children should help parents to dosome household chores for the simple reason that it can bring us astrong body, enhance a sense of responsibility and so forth. - ^' k0 k* |# l
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To begin with,there is no doubt that doing some house work will assist children toown a strong body. As we know, if a kid always works hard in learning,it may be easy for him to feel tired and do harm in his health.(这个tired可以写得更限定以区别身体上的tired) So,children need taking some labor activities to adjust his lifestyles.Obviously, doing housework is the wonderful choice for children whowant to have a strong body, and maybe the result is that children canfinish their assignments more efficiently than before.(physically health到学习的efficient不是必然的...) Therefore, wecan safely conclude that doing housework is an effective way in helpingchildren to possess a healthy body.

In addition, asense of responsibility and carefulness could be formed from takinghouse activities. Just imagine that, a child always do housework may bewilling to make rooms clean including protecting his books, cleaninghis room and so on. As this child grows up, a responsibility ofcleaning rooms will be firmly rooted in his mind which brings him acouple of advantages in his future. For instance, once the kid beginsto work, he may hold a highly responsible for his job which makes himto be special one. The excellent quality of doing things withresponsibility definitely provides him with a high possibility toachieve success in the long run.(比较有说服力)

A Finally,doing housework also can help our parents mitigate part of burden. Ourparents are cores of our families because they need take care of us andour grandparents. However, in the daytime, they have to spend most timeon their jobs and have little time to do housework instead, and is notit necessary for us to take on part of their burden? As a child, weshould share our parents’ pressure without hesitation.

As clearly statedabove, it is absolutely necessary for us to do housework. To be sure,taking house activities can keep our body health, possess a sense ofresponsibility, and cut off our parents’ burden.

写的不错，只是第一个论点的逻辑要补全一下。