- 最后登录
- 2010-4-25
- 在线时间
- 46 小时
- 寄托币
- 56
- 声望
- 0
- 注册时间
- 2009-11-24
- 阅读权限
- 10
- 帖子
- 4
- 精华
- 0
- 积分
- 42
- UID
- 2730464
- 声望
- 0
- 寄托币
- 56
- 注册时间
- 2009-11-24
- 精华
- 0
- 帖子
- 4
|
我的作文目前也很poor,请多指教~12.11
很多词我都要金山词霸一下。。。楼主很厉害也~
A traditional option is resurging among recent children;(我觉得这里是不是不用用分号比较好,前后两个句子应该是解释的关系,改成that is怎样 which one should possess the priority of their schedules, learning, relaxing or household chores? Considering the special mental and physical requirements of children, I have to vote none of above, but all of them,in that, 我怎么觉得这里怪怪的, 改成I would not vote for the only one that is be most important , but instead all of them, hardly could they act the solo individually in one’s life.
Tracing to the history, education always plays an essential role in childhood, especially taking account of the Royal families who forced their youth to study from 4 or 5 years old. The fact is reasonable based on the scientific evidence as well as the reliable experiences. A paper in Science vol. 2896 sited a research about the climax growing period of cerebrum, during 4 to 18, as its data shows ( with the figure of hormone and brain wave) . That is, over that span, people’s mental ability will be distinguished from each other, a so-called mental watershed. As a matter of fact, intelligence is the key to the surviving of human race. Albeit rarely could we deny the effect of heredity to that, education is vital to promote a mature brain for majority children.这个论证真是太绝了,超级逼真,学习一下~
we emphasis the importance of education, it is not panacea. Furthermore这里应该是转折吧,however, without the assistance of other factors, children will become the victim of this unbalanced scale. To err is to human, to play is to children "wow!". Since we notice the picture that maintaining the need of surviving is not the only thing in one’s life, playing and relaxing are the leading roles in one’s memory. Just as what Churchill said when he was 86 years old; “most things floating over my mind is not what I did in politic, just the time I shared with my family and friends.” For children, they have the right and the nature to play enjoying, 你想说玩的时候同时enjoying了?不过我觉得有点怪,就paly and enjoy感觉好点 their lives, “the blithe kids” as we usually say. Therefore, naturally it is to conclude that a person has a pale life with a blank children memory. 这句我怎么怎么断都觉得怪?
Finally, here comes the housework, another indispensible composing of life. Just looking at some of campus students’ dorm, we will have a better understanding of the consequence of this scarcity served by parents’ coddle. Great deficient efficiency of some students is(are) leaded by their mass and disorder room which used to be cleaned by their parents’. Considered the requirement to avoid the fragile bookworms, house work is significant for children. Moreover, appropriate housekeeping does a fever to enhancing their ability of practices and esthetic.
In light of what I pointed out, Clearly it shows to us that if children’s schedule cannot be arranged reasonable, they will mow the product what they sow, definitely conducting to a catastrophe for themselves as well as the whole society. |
|