ISSUE43球拍。

hudu464UID: 2512268

ISSUE43

"To be an effective leader, a public official must maintain the highest ethical and moral standards."

Leadership, especially in public office, could not be understood as separate from ethic and morality. Rather, to be effective, a leader is universally expected to possess and display a high ethical and moral standard to gain trust from his or her people, which is critical for the successful fulfillment of the responsibilities carried by a public official.
Being blessed with public trust is the number one criteria for an effective leader in both authoritarian and democratic society.
To win over his or her people, a public official should maintain high ethical and moral standard, at least in front of public and media. In democratic society, where its people and media tend to be more suspicious of its public officials, any scandal involves unethical incidents like extramarital love affairs and bribe-taking could lead to disastrous consequences of one's political career. The public image built with countless efforts and energies during the campaign collapses at once. This political tragedy in not rare in the history of U.S. presidents, who are at the highest level of public officials but under the most intensive scrutiny. Watergate forced President Nixon to resign and finished his political career in advance. Sex scandal involving Bill Clinton and his college student secretary put him being impeached and nearly lost his job. Constituencies in democratic society might not admire their lead's generous donation or community services, perceiving these as schemes of publicity. Any minor ethical and moral mistake their lead made revealed by media could irritate them so that they will voice their concerns through assorted ways like protests. Compared their counterparts in democratic societies, authoritarian leaders are at less risk of being questioned and challenged in terms of ethical and moral standards. Authoritarian governments exert its power on their media through strict censorship, suppressing most revealing scandals that are to the detrimental of leaders' images. In this way, they maintain a high ethical and moral standard in front of their people. Media is influential instrument to sing praise songs for their diligent work and generous sacrifices. People's trust in this scenario is built on political propaganda and vulnerable to challenges at grass root level. Those Iranian, for example, disclosed fraud in their disputed presidential election through nascent websites like Facebook and Twitter, leading to an upheaval there.
The job description of a public position involves responsibilities and obligations that cannot be fulfilled by leaders alone. They would not be effective unless people work for them are willing to participate and contribute. A high ethical and moral standard displayed in daily life and workplace could gain respect even admiration from fellow colleges.
Charismatic leaders generally have a team of people with higher morale, willingness to communication and thus more efficiency. One of my English teachers told me that it was a great pleasure to work for the head of the English Language Faculty, who is well-known at university for his noble way of living. He donated 80 percent of his earnings to charitable organizations and lived a life as simple as possible, being a vegetarian for twenty five years and living in a small house. Under his leadership, the English Department is one of the most prestigious programs in the university.
While it is obvious that a high ethical and moral standard of leaders are crucial for public positions, other dispositional traits like wisdom and deciding power cannot be neglected. A leader can and should be a well-rounded person that can are entrusted by its people and fulfill responsibilities came along.

plukaUID: 2721764

Leadership, especially in public office, could not be understood as separate from ethic and morality. Rather, to be effective, a leader is universally expected to possess and display a high ethical and moral standard to gain trust from his or her people, which is critical for the successful fulfillment of the responsibilities carried by a public official.(主题句）


Being blessed with public trust is the number one criteria for an effective leader in both authoritarian and democratic society.（民主政府要民心是肯定的，独裁政府却往往不那么考虑民心的啊，要不然为啥我们还反对独裁呢？这个论点与常识略有抵触。建议改成in a democratic society, or even, in some cases, an authoritarian government等，稍微缓和一下。）To win over his or her people, a public official should maintain high ethical and moral standard, at least in front of public and media. In democratic society, where its people and media tend to be more suspicious of its public officials, any scandal involves unethical incidents like extramarital love affairs and bribe-taking could lead to disastrous consequences of one's political career. The public image built with countless efforts and energies during the campaign collapses（喜欢这词） at once. This political tragedy in not rare in the history of U.S. presidents（在美国总统的历史中……不知是否我孤陋寡闻，感觉有点奇怪，或可改为among the U.S. presidents?), who are at the highest level of public officials but under the most intensive scrutiny. Watergate forced President Nixon to resign and finished his political career in advance. Sex scandal involving Bill Clinton and his college student secretary put him being impeached and nearly lost his job. Constituencies in democratic society might not admire their lead's generous donation or community services, perceiving these as schemes of publicity. Any minor ethical and moral mistake their lead made revealed by media could irritate them so that they will voice their concerns through assorted ways like protests. Compared their counterparts in democratic societies, authoritarian leaders are at less risk of being questioned and challenged in terms of ethical and moral standards. Authoritarian governments exert its power on their media through strict censorship, suppressing most revealing scandals that are to the detrimental of leaders' images. In this way, they maintain a high ethical and moral standard in front of their people.(句首说的是1、民心对独裁政府也很重要，这里说的却是2、独裁政府扼住媒体喉舌以确保自己的道德形象，紧跟着论述的是3、这种手段是无效而易碎的。2和3联系比较近，但没能跟1挂钩。‘重要性’和‘方法’是不相同的） Media is (the) influential instrument to sing praise songs for their diligent work and generous sacrifices. People's trust in this scenario is built on political propaganda and vulnerable to challenges at grass root level. Those Iranian, for example, disclosed fraud in their disputed presidential election through nascent websites like Facebook and Twitter, leading to an upheaval there. 
本段第一个断点在首句与下文。其实看到这个题目，我第一个想到的是“什么是effective leader”？“要怎么做才能effective"？显然你的意思是“要获得人民的理解和支持才能够更好地实施政策，做到effective，而获得民心需要领导人本身是个道德模范”。这个推理过程隐含在你的思路中，却没有明白地写出来！只需要多一句话，就可以更清晰地衔接effective和image。

第二个断点就是文里标出的独裁政府“需要民心”与“笼络民心”的区别。若是针对“重要性”一类的主题，发展部分若直接就沿着“方法”行文，感觉有些不妥。方法之前至少要解释一下跟“重要性”相关的东西，比如为何重要、表现在哪些方面等等.

The job description of a public position involves responsibilities and obligations that cannot be fulfilled by leaders alone. They would not be effective unless people work for them are willing to participate and contribute. A high ethical and moral standard displayed in daily life and workplace could gain respect even admiration from fellow colleges. Charismatic leaders generally have a team of people with higher morale, willingness to communication（上下文都未论述交流问题） and thus more efficiency. One of my English teachers told me that it was a great pleasure to work for the head of the English Language Faculty, who is well-known at university for his noble way of living. He donated 80 percent of his earnings to charitable organizations and lived a life as simple as possible, being a vegetarian for twenty five years and living in a small house. Under his leadership, the English Department is one of the most prestigious programs（department是项目？) in the university.
本段论述道德形象对工作关系也很重要。这跟上一段是平行关系，各有侧重相互补充。

While it is obvious that a high ethical and moral standard of leaders are crucial for public positions, other dispositional traits like wisdom and deciding power cannot be neglected. A leader can and should be a well-rounded（嗯又学到一个词^^） person that （can）are entrusted by its(his/her) people and fulfill (fulfills) responsibilities came along.

关于结尾有点建议。看来作者比较习惯在结尾点一下文章主体没有涉及到的其他因素。这样子某种程度上能给人思维更完备的印象，但切记结尾的重头戏应该是再次强调文章主题，而非新开辟一个领域！这个结尾的头一句就有新辟领域之嫌，而下一句的well-rounded等于是把全文论述的道德形象跟结尾头一句提到的wisdom之类综合在一起搞了一个总结。这种方法，对于深化文章主题，是不利的。结尾升华是要升华，但应该与全文主题——至少是论述的主体——有更紧密的联系。


观点部分仍有待加强，关键是要想得更深入一点。effective涉及很多方面的，而一个好的道德形象会如何利于巩固民心也大可以讲深讲细，比如人民更愿意信他、愿意遵守苛刻的条款等等，绝不止于领导人有丑闻就要下台什么的。如果观点能深入，论述部分的不少问题也可以迎刃而解。

plukaUID: 2721764

周黑鸭？= =话说，当时看到这个的第一反应是：谁啊？哪个说相声的？……囧……然后百度之……囧囧……
俺就属于那种娱乐生活极其匮乏的宅人……