ISSUE8=美丽G程小组=小组第五次作业by猫斯基

猫斯基UID: 2607814

Question: It is often necessary, even desirable, for political leaders to withhold information from the public.

1:作为对国家机密的保护，包括军事，科技等领域的保密政策个人隐私保护（；笼统一说），同时为了国家稳定，避嫌等原因，必须隐藏一些（沃伦报告）
2：但是在当今世界，频频爆发的政要丑闻，商界丑闻，有必要让我们加大舆论监督力度，从而及时发现一些对大众不利的行为（丑闻斯皮策，克林顿，隐藏非常时期机密布莱尔，
3：对于公众知情权的尊重，也为了社会长久的和谐与政党的长期稳定，有必要对民众采取信息透明化制度，早期杜绝矛盾，采取措施进行解决。
Is it necessary, even desirable for political leaders to withhold information from the public? While there are some necessities in a certain degree, however, for the most interest of the demos and a longer flourish of a government, political leaders had better be transparent to public as much as they can.
  It is beyond of question that some information needs to be hidden in the dark, including some military, technological, political and private messages, for the certain stable of a country and its longer development as well as the private space for the political leaders. During the First World War, it is the Plain languages Spill that cost hundreds of thousands of Russian soldiers' life. So it is really necessary to hold such kind of information. In fact, every country has done a lot in such areas, in 2007, the USA and Japan reached a consensus on the conclusion of military information confidentiality agreements and the strengthening of missile defense system in cooperation. And it is obvious that such an agreement is to aim at the divulging of the American military secrets by the Japan’s Self—Defense. What is more, the world famous document-Warren Repot, is believed as a protection to the CIA, once published, countless political leaders will be involved in such an event, thus the stability of the country is really unclear. Simultaneously, since political leaders are humans as well as us, so giving them some individual space to protect their own privacy is quite desirable.
  However, it is illusion that we public can be fooled by the political leaders, since they want to keep secrets from us, mostly for the benefits of theirs. Actually, the more transparent a government is, the more stable their dominance will be.
  In modern world, more and more scandals and concealing important information accidence make it necessary for us to keep an eye on these political leaders, so that clearer can we find these bugs in our society and earlier clean them out. I do think Clinton makes a good example, since there are so many excellent followers after him, like Spicer, Sarkozy, Manderson and innumerable leaders, all of whom are farewell from their political lives because of such peachy scandals, since during these scandals, they more or less do some evil things to the state, from corruption to authority misuse, they are deemed to be divided from their glorious past. In addition, there are also some ones who dare to conceal crucial information. Here, we have Blare-the former Britain president as our example. Before the Iraq’s war, he misinformed the demos that Britain is not involved in it, which actually is the opposite; consequently, his concealing leads to many inappropriate fighting policies, resulting in a large casualty to the British soldiers. Now, he is facing a coming accusation. From the above, it is not difficult to find that public attendance is quite important as well as the transparency of some political leaders, since they dominate us, they should be fully responsible for our benefits.
  Most importantly, for the longer harmony and stability of a country as well as the respect to the demos’ right to know the truth, making the information transparent to the public is effective in exploring some contradictions and early resolves them. In order to fully control the society, government often choose to conceal information from public, however, it usually causes people's suspicion and varies of guesses about the leader and his party. Nevertheless, a truly harmonious society should reach an unanimous understanding and mutual trust. Mostly, just because of the exposure of the questions these leaders unfold to us, different voices accelerate the reservation of the problems existing in the society. Thus, harmony is comfortably reached. In some autocracy countries, like Soviet Union or mediaeval France(Louis), they collapsed because their leader's strict measures in withholding messages to the public and measures in limiting people's free talking.
  Withholding information can never be an effective way to keep the society flourish and concordant, we admit that some secrets are in need to be held, however, mostly, especially when related closely to the public's benefits, these information can not be hidden, even desirable that we public should use our medias, internets to monitor our leaders and government so that we can maintain our own rights and keep moving our society and history.

cinderella1016UID: 2666652

第一段：in a certain degree，应该是to a certain degree吧；

for the most interest of the demos没看懂；

a longer flourish of a government也没看懂。

cinderella1016UID: 2666652

第二段：beyond of question是不对的，可以说beyond question或是out of question；

hidden in the dark这句，可以考虑keep sb/sth in the dark的结构；

certain stable这句，stable作名词讲是马厩，你想表达的意思是长治久安，动词是stability，形容词是stable，动词是stabilize；

longer development用来说长久发展不是很idiomatic吧，private space嘛，我觉得privacy就可以了；

Plain languages Spill？谷歌上查不到这个名字，然后soldiers' life应为soldiers' lives；

such kind of information，直接用such information就好了；

In fact这句句式杂糅，还有日美安全保障条约部分的文字再polish一下；

And it is obvious这句is to可以省略，aim改成aims，divulging改为divulgence，日本海军自卫队的全称是Self-Defense Force吧；

What is more这句，也是句式杂糅的问题，Warren Repot应为Warren Report，整句的模式应该是：Once WR, 定语从句, is published, many political leaders will be involved…

Simultaneously用得没道理，humans最好改为human beings，这里用us也是不对的，你把as well as提到前面来，会发现它其实是leaders, as well as we, are human beings；

猫斯基UID: 2607814

3# cinderella1016
辛苦辛苦。。我惭愧。。好多语法错误。。。满目悲怆啊

cinderella1016UID: 2666652

第三段：it is illusion是不对的，可以改为it is an illusion，因为illusion是个可数名词，we public最好改为the public。

猫斯基UID: 2607814

Is it necessary, even desirable for political leaders to withhold information from the public? While there are some necessities to a certain degree, however, for the best interets of people and a long-term prosperity of a government, political leaders had better be transparent to public as much as they can.
  It is beyond question that some information needs to be kept in the dark, including some military, technological, political and private messages, for the certain stablility of a country and its further development as well as the privacy for the political leaders. During the First World War, it is the Plain languages Spill that cost hundreds of thousands of Russian soldiers' lives. So it is really necessary to hold such information. In fact, every country has done a lot in such an area, in 2007, USA and Japan reached a consensus in cooperation on the confidentiality of military information and the strengthening of missile defense system . And it is obvious that such an agreement aims at the divulgence of the American military secrets by the Japan’s Self—Defense Force. What is more, the world famous document-Warren Repot, which is believed as a protection to the CIA, once published, countless political leaders will be involved in such an event, thus the stability of the country is really unclear. From another angle, since political leaders are humans beings as well as we, so giving them some individual space to protect their own privacy is quite desirable.
  However, it is illusion that we public can be fooled by the political leaders, since they want to keep secrets from us, mostly for the benefits of theirs. Actually, the more transparent a government is, the more stable their dominance will be.
  In modern world, more and more scandals and concealing important information accidence make it necessary for us to keep an eye on these political leaders, so that clearer can we find these bugs in our society and earlier clean them out. I do think Clinton makes a good example, since there are so many excellent followers after him, like Spicer, Sarkozy, Manderson and innumerable leaders, all of whom are farewell from their political lives because of such peachy scandals, since during these scandals, they more or less do some evil things to the state, from corruption to authority misuse, they are deemed to be divided from their glorious past. In addition, there are also some ones who dare to conceal crucial information. Here, we have Blare-the former Britain president as our example. Before the Iraq’s war, he misinformed the demos that Britain is not involved in it, which actually is the opposite; consequently, his concealing leads to many inappropriate fighting policies, resulting in a large casualty to the British soldiers. Now, he is facing a coming accusation. From the above, it is not difficult to find that public attendance is quite important as well as the transparency of some political leaders, since they dominate us, they should be fully responsible for our benefits.
  Most importantly, for the longer harmony and stability of a country as well as the respect to the demos’ right to know the truth, making the information transparent to the public is effective in exploring some contradictions and early resolves them. In order to fully control the society, government often choose to conceal information from public, however, it usually causes people's suspicion and varies of guesses about the leader and his party. Nevertheless, a truly harmonious society should reach an unanimous understanding and mutual trust. Mostly, just because of the exposure of the questions these leaders unfold to us, different voices accelerate the reservation of the problems existing in the society. Thus, harmony is comfortably reached. In some autocracy countries, like Soviet Union or mediaeval France(Louis), they collapsed because their leader's strict measures in withholding messages to the public and measures in limiting people's free talking.
  Withholding information can never be an effective way to keep the society flourish and concordant, we admit that some secrets are in need to be held, however, mostly, especially when related closely to the public's benefits, these information can not be hidden, even desirable that we public should use our medias, internets to monitor our leaders and government so that we can maintain our own rights and keep moving our society and history.

cinderella1016UID: 2666652

第四段：In modern world应为in the modern world，concealing important information accidence应为information concealing incidents，clearer can we find these bugs in our society and earlier clean them out这句很莫名；

I do think这句又是一个很awkward的长句，makes改为has set在时态上和搭配上就都对了，since到leaders这句的事实要再核实一次，are farewell from their political lives可以考虑改为end their political careers，除了句式杂糅，还比较Chinglish；

In addition这一句，some ones改some，Blare改为Tony Blair，former Britain president改为former British Prime Minister，英国是君主立宪制，不是总统制；

Before the Iraq’s war应该改为Before the Iraq War，misinform用在这里不合适，demo-做前缀表示人/和人有关的，但是demos用来表示the public/the nation的情况几乎没有，is not involved是时态错误，要用过去将来时，fighting policies改为military strategies比较好；resulting in a large casualty to the British soldiers这一句改为caused/incurred many British casualties较好；

From the above这句比较Chinglish，还有dominate不是这么用的。

猫斯基UID: 2607814

Is it necessary, even desirable for political leaders to withhold information from the public? While there are some necessities to a certain degree, however, for the best interets of people and a long-term prosperity of a government, political leaders had better be transparent to public as much as they can.
  It is beyond question that some information needs to be kept in the dark, including some military, technological, political and private messages, for the certain stablility of a country and its further development as well as the privacy for the political leaders. During the First World War, it is the Plain languages Spill that cost hundreds of thousands of Russian soldiers' lives. So it is really necessary to hold such information. In fact, every country has done a lot in such an area, in 2007, USA and Japan reached a consensus in cooperation on the confidentiality of military information and the strengthening of missile defense system . And it is obvious that such an agreement aims at the divulgence of the American military secrets by the Japan’s Self—Defense Force. What is more, the world famous document-Warren Repot, which is believed as a protection to the CIA, once published, countless political leaders will be involved in such an event, thus the stability of the country is really unclear. From another angle, since political leaders are humans beings as well as we, so giving them some individual space to protect their own privacy is quite desirable.
  However,  in modern world, more and more scandals and concealing important information accidence make it necessary for us to keep an eye on these political leaders, so that can we can find these bugs in our society and clean them out. I do think Clinton makes a good example, since there are so many excellent followers after him, like Spicer, Sarkozy, Manderson and innumerable leaders, all of whom say farewell to their political lives because of such peach scandals, since during these scandals, they more or less do some evil things to the state, from corruption to authority misuse, they are deemed to be divided from their glorious past. Further, there are also some ones who dare to conceal crucial information. Here, we have Blare-the former Britain president as our "guidance". Before the Iraq’s war, he misinformed people that Britain is not involved in it, which actually is the opposite; consequently, his concealing leads to many inappropriate fighting policies, resulting in a large casualty to the British soldiers. Now, he is facing a coming accusation. From the above, it is not difficult to find that public attendance is quite important as well as the transparency of some political leaders, since they dominate us, they should be fully responsible for our benefits.
  Most importantly, for the longer harmony and stability of a country as well as the respect to the demos’ right to know the truth, making the information transparent to the public is effective in exploring some contradictions and early resolving them. In order to fully control the society, government often choose to conceal information from public, however, it usually causes people's suspicion and varies of guesses about the leader and his party. Nevertheless, a truly harmonious society should reach an unanimous understanding and mutual trust. Mostly, just because of the exposure of the questions these leaders unfold to us, different voices accelerate the reservation of the problems existing in the society. Thus, harmony is comfortably reached. In some autocracy countries, like Soviet Union or mediaeval France(Louis), they collapsed because their leader's strict measures in withholding messages to the public and measures in limiting people's free talking.
  Withholding information can never be an effective way to keep the society prosperous and stable, we admit that some secrets are in necessaties to be kept, however,  especially when relating closely to the public's benefits, these information can not be hidden. At the same time, it is even desirable that we public should use our media, internets to monitor our leaders and government so that we can maintain our own rights and keep moving our society and history.

cinderella1016UID: 2666652

第六段：又是一个awkward的长句，难道短一点的句子没法表达清楚么？

Concordant改为harmonious比较好，secrets are in need to be held可以考虑改为secrets have to be held back from the public，mostly和especially连着用很奇怪，related closely改为closely related，desirable用在这里很奇怪，而且desirable后面这句很Chinglish。

cinderella1016UID: 2666652

第五段：Most importantly这句，还是Chinglish的问题；

fully control the society搭配很奇怪，government前面应该加the，后面choose应为chooses，public前面加the，又是句式杂糅问题，suspicion这部分完全可以用主动句：people cast doubt on…；

unanimous前面不加an，加a；

unfold是reveal的意思，和你要表达的意思相反；

autocracy是独裁的意思啊，你是想说USSR独裁是吧，苏联解体的原因有很多，你不能把主要原因之一当根本原因讲。

cinderella1016UID: 2666652

这个comment真的很难写：

一个是缺乏清晰的语法意识。长句过多，句式杂糅，分句中的语法运用得也不是很准确。精英组第一次作业里就有语法部分，列得很清晰，不是说只看一遍就行了，平时写东西、改东西的时候脑子里语法这根弦要绷紧点。至于长句，有位老先生是这样说的“it must not for a moment be supposed that an error in grammar or idiom embedded in a long sentence can easily escape detection”。

一个是词语的搭配和辨析的问题。比如，accident和incident的区别，misinform、dominate和demos这些词语的使用。你要知道，很多英文单词的词义是很微妙的，它所出现的语境也就那么几个，没有经过仔细的阅读就想当然地使用，句子就会很别扭。

再一个就是细节问题。Typo要注意，时间地点人物名称都是要在review的时候核实的。