issue228 我的一篇issue,请不吝赐教！谢谢

songyxUID: 118533

The best way to teach-whether as an educator, employer, or parent-is to praise positive actions and ignore negative ones.

Which is the best way to teach? There are choices such as praising positive actions and ignoring negative ones presented to everyone especially to educator, employer, and parent, which, in turn, turns out to be a dilemma for us to make a resolute. I argue that in the ear of rapid social and technological changes which bring about drastic competitions, both positive and negative effects caused by single aspect of teach calls for a combination with praising positive actions and criticizing negative ones.
It is no doubt that praising the positive actions is the most often way we use to teach because by our human nature we like to be praised. Have you ever hear that there is someone who hates to be praised whenever he or she does something? Maybe there do are some, however, it must be the minority for the reason that it is our inborn character which can hardly be influenced by our living conditions that we enjoy being praised by others. Evidently, we must take full advantage of the character in the process of teaching. Only by doing so can we motivate the people to the largest extent and thus achieve our final goal: to make them from a success to a more success.
Admittedly, always praising may also bring negative effects: some people may fell overbearing, and thus have no impetus to go ahead. But by not doing so when they have finished positive actions or succeeded, we may hurt their enthusiasm, which in turn may have a worse influence on their future actions because they consider that it is no use or benefit for them whether doing well or not.
On the other hand, we should not ignore negative ones as well, which means that it is ok by doing so, and as a result people will become worse and worse day after day. For example, when your 8-year old son lies to you one day, you should not take it granted that he is only naughty for he is young. But it is a matter of honesty. If you always don’t pay attention to the problem and ignore it, it is hard for him to be honest when he grows old as a matter of fact. There are also other examples which can illustrate the same implication that: it’s highly needed not to ignore the negative one, on the contrary, we should criticize them and then give them a instruction to prevent such from happening again.
So you can see that both praising and ignoring have its own faults and merits, which evidently call for a combination with them two in the process of teaching, for the purpose of benefiting each other. We should praise the positive actions ardently whenever it is needed, but remember that, we should prepare the criticism at the same time in case that they are overbearing. It is only in this way can we be a good teacher in the way of teach. Let’s do so now!

闲情UID: 111016

The best way to teach-whether as an educator, employer, or parent-is to praise positive actions and ignore negative ones.

Which is the best way to teach? There are choices such as praising positive actions and ignoring negative ones presented（这个presented和前面there are离得太远，感觉不太好） to everyone especially to educator, employer, and parent（以上三个名词都应该是复数，你看看题目，人家是加了a的）, which（这个非限定性定语从句用的不太合适，到底指谁呢？按照紧跟着的哪个词来看，变成指parents了）, in turn, turns out to be a dilemma for us to make a resolute（dilemma够了，后面几个词罗嗦了。呵呵）. I argue（一般都说某人argues，很少说I argue） that in the ear（应是era） of rapid social and technological changes which bring about drastic competitions, both positive and negative effects caused by single aspect of teach calls for a combination with praising positive actions and criticizing negative ones.

It is no doubt that praising the positive actions is the most often （most often这种搭配很奇怪）way we use to teach because by（应是because of） our human nature（此处应加一个that，表示是个定语从句，否则这句话不通顺） we like to be praised. Have you ever hear（应是heard） that there is someone（问句中应是anyone） who hates to be praised whenever he or she does something? Maybe there do are （there be的句行中表示强调好象不能加do的）some, however, it（前面是复数，这里应是they） must be the minority for the reason that it is our inborn character which can hardly be influenced by our living conditions that we enjoy being praised by others（that 后面的半句话含义很含混）. 以上感觉同一个意思翻来覆去说，但是用语很少变化，就显得罗嗦了。其实你可以说，很多人受了表扬，就会干得更好。小孩子的表现最明显，而这一现象在成人中也很普遍，只是不那么外露而已。一句公开的表扬可以抵得上加薪等等。这样不是又表达了意思，又避免了重复吗？ Evidently, we must take full advantage of the character in the process of teaching. Only by doing so can we motivate the people（motivate sb to do sth，你没写完整。）to the largest extent and thus achieve our final goal: to make them （问题同上）from a success to a more success（a more success不通）.

Admittedly, always praising may also bring negative effects: some people may fell（应是fall） overbearing, and thus have no impetus to go ahead. But by not doing so when they have finished positive actions or（前后结构要平行，应补一个have） succeeded, we may hurt their enthusiasm, which in turn may have a worse influence on their future actions because they consider that it is no use or benefit for them whether doing well or not. 这个句子太长咯。Which、because这类词用的那么多，有点拗口咯。

On the other hand, we should not ignore negative ones（ones指什么？） as well, which means that it is ok by doing so（很含混，doing so是什么做什么？）, and as a result people will become worse and worse（用worse形容人不贴切） day after day. For example, when your 8-year old son lies to you one day, you should not take it（少了for） granted that he is only naughty for he is young. But it is a matter of honesty. If you always don’t（没有always don’t这种说法，用rarely吧） pay attention to the problem and ignore it, it is hard for him to be honest when he grows old（用grows up吧，为什么非要老呢？呵呵） as a matter of fact. There are also other examples which can illustrate the same implication that: it’s highly needed not to ignore the negative one（one到底指什么？）, on the contrary, we should criticize them and then give them a instruction to prevent such（such 后面得跟个名词） from happening again.

So you can see that both praising and ignoring（后面得跟点东西，ignore什么呢） have its（既然是have，后面就应是their） own faults and merits, which evidently call for a combination with them two in the process of teaching, for the purpose of benefiting each other. We should praise the positive actions ardently whenever it is needed, but remember that, we should prepare the criticism at the same time in case that they are overbearing. It is only in this way can we be a good teacher in the way of teach（teacher in the way of teach不是太罗嗦了吗？教师是干吗的？）. Let’s do so now!
下次麻烦你放文章上来的时候，自己在段落中间空一行。看起来方便些。

总的来说你的语感还不错，明显的语法错误比较少，多的是一些细节上的问题。另外你的词汇和好的句型比较贫乏，用来用去就那么几个。建议多学学那些外国人的范文。

还有就是深度不够。