@@茶叶蛋炒饭@@第三次作业 issue51 请组员跟帖

yeshen2010UID: 2744103

Issue51:"Education will be truly effective only when it is specifically designed to meet the individual needs and interests of each student."
(by yeshen2010)
提纲：
一、不同意作者提出的观点。自己的观点是：教育不是满足每个学生的兴趣和需求，而是教会他们一种自我发展的方法。
二、维基百科中关于教育的解释。
三、根据上述解释，提出第一个分论点：教育在满足学生的需求和兴趣的时候应该起引导作用。对于向好的方面发展的需求兴趣可以满足，比如音乐、舞蹈、数学。对于可能产生坏影响的需求兴趣则不应该满足，比如《哈利波特》中伏地魔的例子。
四、教育应该培养学生独立思考的能力。反例：中国填鸭式教学
五、教育应该塑造学生高尚的品质，如责任感等。例子：中国大学生支教。
六、总结。

The issue presents that only when education is definitely designed to meet the individual requirements and interests of each student, it will be truly effective. In my point of view, however, I do not agree that assertion. Rather, I hold the opinion that education will really work out not meeting every student's need and interest, but teaching him or her a way to develop oneself.

In Wikipedia, education has two kinds of interpretation. In its broadest sense, it means any act or experience that has a formative effect on the mind, character or physical ability of an individual. In its technical sense, education is the process by which society deliberately transmits its accumulated knowledge, skills and values from one generation to another.

From the definition, we know that education plays an introduction roll to meet one's need and interest. Different people have different requirements and hobbies. On the one hand, education could satisfy needs and interests which are positive to students, such as music, dance and mathematics. On the other hand, education could not meet the ones which are negative to students. Take Voldemort, a crazy wizard in Harry Porter, for example. When he studied in Hogwarts, a magic school, at his young age, he wanted to be the one who could make shamans all around the world be afraid of. Because of his strong willing to learn dark magic, some teachers taught him no matter whether it was right or wrong. In this case, education does not need to meet one's demands and interests.

In addition, education should cultivate students the ability of thinking independently. Thomas Edison, an American inventor, once said:"If you do not learn to think when you are young, you may never learn." Nowadays, the form of education in many schools of China which just care about transition rates is spoon-feeding. Many students only learn to concern scores without any ideas about things and matters. This is a reason why there is no Nobel Prize Winner in China.

Admittedly, education should shape students noble characters, such as honest, kind-hearted and responsibility. Nowadays, a lot of schools in China organize students to support poor areas. Usually they will stay there for one year or much longer to teach local children in order to improve local education level. It is an effective activity to help students recognize that they should be responsible for the country.

In summary, I believe that education will be effectively when it guides students to develop comprehensively.

改楼上snow的：
As we all know ,when we study in the high（高中可以表示为the high吗？我不是很清楚。改为high schools）, all the students learn the same lessons ,but when we pass the college entrance examination , we study different subjects such as history , laws, electricity and so on .But honestly speaking, most students don’t have a（去掉） right sense on the subjects which he(改为they，因为前面是most students，要保持一致) fill in the paper before they enter the college（这一句不太清楚想表达什么意思。另外，这一句跟前面好像没有转折的意思。）. So the disparity between their images and the reality leads to most of the college students don’t(改为not) have much interests on their subjects . However, they have no choice. Is that education should be truly effective only when it is specifically designed to meet the individual needs and interests of each student?（改为Should that education be truly …或者把should be去掉） I think this statement is one-viewed（有这种说法吗？我google了一下，没看到。可能俺孤陋寡闻了）.
本段指出给出的观点很片面。

Firstly, I think the（去掉） education should not only be designed to meet the individual needs and interests of the students, but also should be designed to meet the requirements of the society. Only do both of this（改为these）, it will be truly effective. As we all know, every student wants to get a good job which is also their parents’ desire to meet the requirements in their future life. So some subjects liking（改为like,它同时也是一个介词） engineering, business are very popular. Due to the prospect for（改为of） looking for a good job is not optimism , some subjects such as history, archaeology receive little attention .If just for meeting the individual needs and interests of each student, I think a lot of subjects in the college must be closed down. But the society needs the talented person who have the knowledge in history ,laws, literature and so on .We need money ,good future , better life , the society also needs to know its history ,its culture ,its bylaw（不太清楚是否有此说法）.
第二段分论点明确，但是感觉论证不充分。最后一句不知道跟观点有什么联系。

Secondly, with existing conditions, wanting our education to meet the individual needs and interests of each student is not factual and I think to do this is not worthy（哈哈，chinglish来了）. There are a thousand readers having a thousand Hamlet. Everyone is an independent entity. Everyone has his own interest, but the interests between us can’t be the same .We don’t have enough classrooms, enough teachers, enough teaching facilities, enough time to provide different students who have different interests, so we have no method to set course to meet everyone. Meanwhile, although we provide enough things , there must be a lot of  students who don’t value or learn little at last or do things by halves , it is loss and waste（这一句感觉也是chinglish.）.
第三段提出教育满足每个人是不现实的。

The last but not the least, a lot of facts have proofed（proved）
that we may not get a（去掉） good results which we expect. Every year a lot of young students who are good at math or physics or chemical are treated differently. Best teachers ,best teaching facilities ,good accommodation and delicious food are provided to them . They are trained to take part in the Mathematical Olympiad Contest or other contests . Their teachers ,classmates ,parents give them high expectations . Hope them to get a good mark and be creative in the future （缺少主语，chinglish成分很重）. However, when they grow up , almost all of them are mediocrity. Why? These young students must have strong interest on the subject originally ,otherwise they can’t present their talents. But because of our thought to meet their individual needs and interests, we give them too high expectations ,too much pressure, too many（改为much） work, their interests turn to tasks which they don’t want. Gradually, the interests disappear ,and disgusting and reverse psychology instead（建议改为disgusting and reverse psychology instead og interests.）. Naturally, they can’t get achievements when they grow up .So this kind of education is not effective.
第四段提出我们不一定能够得到想要的结果（其实作者想说的是教育有时候并不是有效的，对吗？这个分论点提得不好。）。However前面是老师家长们希望这些人能取得好成绩。那他们取得没有呢？后面就跳到他们长大后了，没有承接性。

From the three paragraphs above ,I want to say that although the interest of the students in the subject is very important ,we should consider more. Only find the balance between the students and the society ,and take the right method ,the education can be effective.

总结：
1.
chinglish成分很浓；
2.
论证不是很充分。
观点层次都比较鲜明。

BryanpengUID: 2705644

By snow

ISSUE 51  
"Education will be truly effective only when it is specifically designed to meet the individual needs and interests of each student."

As we all know ,when we study in the hig ...
Bryanpeng 发表于 2010-1-7 01:31

提纲：
首先对于truly effective进行辩驳，
教育只是一个大众行为，没有能适合每个人的教育，发展(effective)还要靠自己的兴趣与专研，创造力，教育的effective 只能是一个引导。
所以说，教育首先应顾及到基础与大众的需求，（ basic fundamental） individual不可行，继续的，只有在打好大众基础的前提上，个人兴趣才能自由发挥，只顾及个人兴趣（individual interest），发展也不会太大。
所以说 designed to meet individual (不可行) needs and interests (也不可行)
就没有truly effective这一说了。
以上为主要思想

开头：
1
教育的目标，是引导学生在学习上有方向与目标，教育应该是大众化与基础化的，不可能顾及到每个人的需求和兴趣。
况且，只顾及个人需要与兴趣而忽略了基础的大众教育也不可能成气候。
2
首先论证教育大众化的意义：同时也培养团队精神. 教育不可能为个人而设计。
3
其次论证想要自我发展，使教育变的更有效（truly effective），是应自我创新与学习，专研来获得的。而不是通过
教育为个人设计。
4
最后，知识是相通的(例子)，论证只有在大众教育的基础上，按照个人兴趣去发展，才有可能在兴趣的激励下，作为更大。
5
结论


snow修改extol

Issue51 by extol

Though education between different cultures, different countries are(is) sometimes through distinct styles, their goals are completely identical, which is guiding all the students(to) acquire knowledge and study skills on a right track fundamentally. Furthermore, neglect(neglecting) the fundamental education can few people be(去掉) success only depend on the interests(这句话需要重写). Therefore, I do not agree(with) the Speaker’s assertions that the education would be more effectively when designed to meet the individual needs and interests.

In generally(general), education means basic and public(动词加形容词?) at times, wherever you are study at. The subject received from educational services focus on giving a group of students the primary literacy and knowledge in one area. Everyone study(studys) math at the beginning of their campus lives(his campus life前后对应), but few people would (这句话的时态要考虑)carry on mathematical research. So do other courses such as physics, chemistry, biology and so forth. Even around the highest education, master and doctoral students still gather together(to) participate in one course following their supervisors. No one can be educated advanced and individually, for the reason of limited education resources and the important objective of group spirit.

In addition, education is merely a kind of guiding form. For the sake of educated “truly effective” as the speaker asserted, or rather, comprehensive developing on a right track. Creativity, Skepticism and exploration are all indispensable. All these advanced skills cannot be taught through education, neither did individual education. The skills accumulated via self-learning. And, whether satisfy these conditions or not is the difference between normal people and elite.

Moreover, to some extent, knowledge is interlinked between each other. A musician may also be a dancer; a doctor may also be a psychologist. One of the world’s famous architects: Santiago Calatrava, who designed the main venues of (the)Athens 2004 Olympic Games, is also an artist which(who) passionate(应该用副词形式) love painting. Two completely different domains yet have innumerable links between each other. A new kind of machine named “mosquito” made by an English man (who is called)Howard Stapleton are(is) widely used in public places, intended for drive(driving) problem youth gather together by ultrasonic. However, adults remain unaffected by the ultrasonic which only can be heard by youth. This tiny machine also combines acoustics with basic physiology, psychology and physics altogether. In fact, only depend(depending) on the steady public education can someone make a difference by developing his own interests and individuality, for the reason of knowledge is fundamentally interlinked together.

In sum, education can only consider to be widely and fundamentally. Any specialization to individual is unrealistic and won’t do much contribute to the result, even to the interest.    (结尾我再改改，被逼的）



批的严厉点,感觉群主这篇作文需要重写,你的提纲整体思路还是不错的,但表述实在很乱,而且有的时候某些地方很突兀,甚至有的时候不搭边.问题有以下几点:
1.
虽然你的句子较为精彩,但主谓不一致问题过为严重
2.
整篇文章以一般现在时为主题,但部分段落,部分语句中的时态比较混乱,一般过去时和现在完成时的用法搞的一塌糊涂
3.
许多词汇的用法掌握的不够扎实,在一句话中出现两个谓语动词的现象时有发生.
4.
词汇的各种形式包括名词词性,动词词性,副词形式等需要加以考究
5.
整体上感觉群主的英语基础比较差,建议先把最基础的东西弄扎实后再去加强文章的精彩,高级词汇的运用

imlifewillingUID: 2706999

Issue51:"Education will be truly effective only when it is specifically designed to meet the individual needs and interests of each student."
(by yeshen2010)
提纲：
一、不同意作者提出的观点。自己的观点是：教育不是满足每个学生的兴趣和需求，而是教会他们一种自我发展的方法。
二、维基百科中关于教育的解释。
三、根据上述解释，提出第一个分论点：教育在满足学生的需求和兴趣的时候应该起引导作用。对于向好的方面发展的需求兴趣可以满足，比如音乐、舞蹈、数学。对于可能产生坏影响的需求兴趣则不应该满足，比如《哈利波特》中伏地魔的例子。
四、教育应该培养学生独立思考的能力。反例：中国填鸭式教学
五、教育应该塑造学生高尚的品质，如责任感等。例子：中国大学生支教。
六、总结。

The issue presents that only when education is definitely designed to meet the individual requirements and interests of each student, it will be truly effective. In my point of view, however, I do not agree that assertion. Rather, I hold the opinion that education will really work out not meeting every student's need and interest, but teaching him or her a way to develop oneself.
agree with; needs and interests; 首段简单明了，表明自己的观点，不同意题目的观点。并说明教育的本质。

In Wikipedia, education has two kinds of interpretation. In its broadest sense, it means any act or experience that has a formative effect on the mind, character or physical ability of an individual. In its technical sense, education is the process by which society deliberately transmits its accumulated knowledge, skills and values from one generation to another.
解释教育的两个方面：一个是对个人的培养，另一个就是传播知识。

From the definition, we know that education plays an introduction这是个名词 roll（role） to meet one's need and interest要用复数. Different people have different requirements and hobbies. On the one hand, education could satisfy needs and interests which are positive to students, such as music, dance and mathematics. On the other hand, education could not meet the ones which are negative to students. Take Voldemort, a crazy wizard in Harry Porter, for example. When he studied in Hogwarts, a magic school, at his young age, he wanted to be the one who could make shamans all around the world be afraid of这个定语从句是不是少了个主语？. Because of his strong willing to learn dark magic, some teachers taught him no matter whether it was right or wrong这句话表述不清哦. In this case, education does not need to meet one's demands and interests.
这段从两个方面分别介绍了是否要满足个人的需要。很好。但是后面的例子最后一话好像没有起到解释的意思。还有就是最后一句总结我觉得应该对不能满足的个人需要有个界定。你那样说是不是笼统呢？
In addition, education should cultivate students the ability of thinking independently. Thomas Edison, an American inventor, once said:"If you do not learn to think when you are young, you may never learn." Nowadays, the form of education in many schools of China which just care about transition rates is spoon-feeding. Many students only learn to concern scores without any ideas about things and matters. This is a reason why there is no Nobel Prize Winner in China.
这一段虽然中心很明确。但是论证无力，感觉很空泛，你不对例子进行分析，很难有说服力，因为每个对例子的理解是不一样的，你要把你的理解说出来，进而说服阅卷者。
Admittedly, education should shape students noble characters, such as honest, kind-hearted and responsibility. Nowadays, a lot of schools colleges or universities in China organize students to support poor areas. Usually they will stay there for one year or much longer to teach local children in order to improve local education educational level. It is an effective activity to help students recognize that they should be responsible for the country.
说明教育的其他作用。
In summary, I believe that education will be effectively effective when it guides students to develop comprehensively.
优点：条理清楚，每段说什么都很明确。
缺点：论证性不强。论证不足。
还有一点就是你通篇都在说教育要给学生提供什么，并没有分析效率的问题，可是最后总结却来一个效率的问题。这样不太好吧。所以我觉得要是提到效率的话，可以稍微论证下，就说明这么做了才能提高教育的效率。
个人愚见。多加指正。

shenxianhuUID: 2455394

改 Athena

The speaker’s standpoint is about the truly effective education. And he assertsthat the only way to achieve the goal is to meet the individual needs andinterests of each student. However, I don’t quite agree with him. His point isbiased and not comprehensive to some degree.

One thing I must admit is that interest and individual needs weigh much in theprocess of learning. Einstein has said: “the interest is best teacher”, for itprovides the students continuous power and dynamic to keep making progress. Andit is a human nature to be more dynamic when been placed as a center and highlyappreciated.（这句似乎没什么关系） Thus so, if we pay more heeds to each student’s specific needs and tryto realize them as much as possible within our reach, the potential of studentswill be released more compared with the current level. Moreover, the specificeducational design for each individual has more value when we refer tostudents’ career life in the future. As the society is becoming more and morediversified, we have to meet the dramatically increasing demand for specializedprofessionals. Here we find reason（s） for the customized education pattern, in highereducation stage, not an assembly line to work out all the same standardproducts.
（这两段之间结构过渡很自然，由higher education 自然想到了primary stage，但如果语言上承上启下就更好了)
But if we dig more, we can findthat the speaker’s viewpoint is biased and not always correct. Thisinterest-oriented educational style is not only improper but also harmful inthe primary stage of learning. When a child is exposed to the world for thefirst time, he is a completely in the dark. He need someone to guide him findthe right path to adapt to the conventional value system of this world, to tellhim right and wrong, brightness and darkness, as well as virtue and evil. Hemust have an overall outlook of his own personality, self-development andperception of the world around him. This is the purpose of elementaryeducation, and we can’t deny that the most resource-saving way to achieve it isthe well-conducted general education. Moreover, only when a person master acertain amount of knowledge about both the interior and exterior circumstancesof his own, can he makes a wise choice of his interest-to-be. In this sense,interest is not the best guidance without a relatively mature value system andthe ability of making independent judgment.

Moreover, the author must ignore the feasibility of this(this指哪个？虽然大家都明白，是不是需要重新叙述下，这里应该针对的是individual) conception, for it is only applicable in some dreaminglands such as Utopia without arousing injustice and chaos. Everyone has his owndesign for life and therefore need different resources accordingly. In acountry of highly dense population, like China and India, even though theoverall quantity of educational resource is considerable, it is not(应该去掉吧) less than satisfactory when comes to theamount per capita. Therefore, it is impossible to meet everyone’s need attoday’s level, both socially and economically. Secondly, financial support isnecessary in the process of promoting desired education. But what’s theconsequence will be if well-off families afford the featured education fortheir children but it is not the same case of the families in need?（这句话虽然看明白了，但不知道你这样写对不对，我觉得别扭，主要是but后面）There must be a wave of protest voices, not to mention the vicious circle inthe long run, produced by this educational devise in a not fully developedworld, when some kids get the chance to grasp more resources than their peers.

So back to our topic, whether the education is effective or not is judged bythe value and benefit it will bring to every individual and the development ofsociety in a longstanding perception. We also need to take all sides intoconsideration, including individual development of each student, characteristicof different stages, and universally workable principle among the public.
最后一段值得商榷，这段是说教育得重要性然后我们该怎么做，但似乎没有很好地和前面衔接起来

首先，语言很好。很多值得学习。
全篇思路：高阶段学习中兴趣很重要->但早期教育需要仅仅靠兴趣不够->另外，满足每个人的兴趣不可行
我个人觉得，要么开头对全文有个总的概括，或者结尾有个总结。如果都没有，至少各段之间的衔接要非常自然。这方面感觉是不足。导致全文比较散。

Athena.missingUID: 2710486

19# shenxianhu
谢谢...我去修改一下....~~