【ineffable】Issue212， by xiaxiaobing 请组员帮忙

xiaxiaobing919UID: 2606450

If a goal is worthy, then any means taken to attain it is justifiable.

too extreme.
1, first, not violent to moral, then in this scales we can take any means
2, extreme. the civil war
3, something cannot. nuclear weapon should not be considered.
4, even worse, in order to survive, or accomplish a task, the money for them. but we cannot accept this.


Is that always justifiable for us to attain a worthy goal by any means we want, as the speaker asserts? In my opinion, it is extremely presumptuous to claim that all the means are acceptable only when the goal is worthy. Whether we should put any restriction on the approaches to realize goal would be predicted on a case-by-case basis.

To begin with, no achievements can be obtained without any expenses, so that it is acceptable that we may jeopardize some interests in order to realize our goals. For example, in many developing countries, who are suffering starvations, in order to promote economy development to raise the living standard of their residents, they may induce some environmental problems, which is undesirable but acceptable. However, these environmental problems can never in turn threaten the general sanitation of the public. In this analysis, the justice is only approved when the bad consequences are limit in a scale.

When public interests have been threatened or jeopardized, even the payment is egregious, it is worthwhile for us solve it through any means. This point can find its appropriate support with the example of civil war of American, when the slavery has deprived basic civil rights of the majority of black people. Under such circumstances, Abraham Lincoln, a famous American president, has led the war to eliminate the slavery in South and return the civil rights to its black people. The expense of this war is costly, for the farms have been destroyed, the transportation no longer works, not to mention the thousands of people died in the war. However, since the goal is so worthy, the extreme action like wars are still regarded as justifiable.

However, the consequences those come along with the approaches that taken to realize the worthy goals should always be taken into consideration. For example, in order to defend our nations, many counties are trying to establish a very strong offensive system, including the development of nuclear weapons. Even though the original purpose are worthy, for it is indispensable for us to defend our nation in order to avoid aggression and therefore guarantee the peaceful life to its people, the danger that resulted from the nuclear weapon has brought a treat to the people all over the world. In such case, it is better to limit the world-wide holding of nuclear weapon, and the only purpose of holding that should be guaranteeing the peace rather than breaking it.

When it comes to the general life, the moral standards are also necessary for us to consider when we aimed at achieve our worthy goals. In the commercial field, under many circumstances, the companies would send money to governor in order to attain its monopoly of the local market or the management towards some public projects. Even though these would bring that company a lucrative profits- regarding to be worthy, it would jeopardize the fairness of the market and the interests of the general public, which is not acceptable. In this case, the means we taken should not be violent to the moral or ethic standards upon which our social rules are based.

In conclusion, I disagree with the speaker's assertion that all the means are justifiable only when the goal is worthy, which can only be right in a small range. When the public interests are jeopardized or moral standards or ethic values were destroyed, we cannot identify it as justice no matter how worthy the goal is.

Time: 45min
限时作文，请各位多提意见。还有就是论证的第一段的那个例子我实在没想到合适的，就是说在一定范围内，any means都是可以接受的。强调一定范围

小灵易碎UID: 2733622

Is that always justifiable for us to attain a worthy goal by any means we want, as the speaker asserts? In my opinion, it is extremely presumptuous to claim that all the means are acceptable only when the goal is worthy.（主题句） Whether we should put any restriction on the approaches to realize goal（我没有找到realize goal这种用法，建议换成achieve） would be predicted on a case-by-case basis.

To begin with, no achievements can be obtained without any expenses, so that(只有so就可以) it is acceptable that we may jeopardize some interests in order to realize our goals. For example, in many developing countries, who are suffering starvations, in order to promote economy development to raise the living standard of their residents, they（指代不清） may induce some environmental problems, which is undesirable but acceptable. However, these environmental problems can never in turn threaten the general sanitation of the public. In this analysis, the justice is only approved when the bad consequences are limit in a scale.
这一段的理由是题目的说法在一定限度内能忍

When public interests have been threatened or jeopardized, even the payment is egregious, it is worthwhile for us solve it through any means. This point can find its appropriate support with the example of civil war of American, when the slavery has deprived basic civil rights of the majority of black people. Under such circumstances, Abraham Lincoln, a famous American president, has led the war to eliminate the slavery in South and return the civil rights to its black people. The expense of this war is costly, for the farms have been destroyed, the transportation no longer works, not to mention the thousands of people died in the war. However, since the goal is so worthy, the extreme action like wars are still regarded as justifiable.
这一段理由是为了公共利益，题目的说法能忍

However, the consequences those come along with the approaches that taken to realize the worthy goals should always be taken into consideration. For example, in order to defend our nations, many counties are trying to establish a very strong offensive system, including the development of nuclear weapons. Even though the original purpose are worthy, for it is indispensable for us to defend our nation in order to avoid aggression and therefore guarantee the peaceful life to its people, the danger that resulted from the nuclear weapon has brought a treat to the people all over the world. In such case, it is better to limit the world-wide holding of nuclear weapon, and the only purpose of holding that should be guaranteeing the peace rather than breaking it.
这一段是说发展核武器无可厚非，但是因为给人们带来了不利，所以应该限制发展

When it comes to the general life, the moral standards are also necessary for us to consider when we aimed at achieve our worthy goals. In the commercial field, under many circumstances, the companies would send money to governor in order to attain its monopoly of the local market or the management towards some public projects. Even though these would bring that company a lucrative profits- regarding to be worthy, it would jeopardize the fairness of the market and the interests of the general public, which is not acceptable. In this case, the means we taken should not be violent to the moral or ethic standards upon which our social rules are based.
商人为了牟利向政客行贿，但是这种行为触犯了道德底线，所以应该制止

In conclusion, I disagree with the speaker's assertion that all the means are justifiable only when the goal is worthy, which can only be right in a small range. When the public interests are jeopardized or moral standards or ethic values were destroyed, we cannot identify it as justice no matter how worthy the goal is.

总的来说逻辑结构是有的，但是要细读才能发现你的理由是什么，除了首尾两段阐述了理由，中间几段例子有余但是论述不足，因为你的字数已经不少了，可以考虑合并或删减支持相同理由的例子，如合并三四段，因为都是说违反了公共利益方面的。
动词的搭配和主语一致要注意，而且出现了however多次，也许是我阅读习惯的问题，每次看到都以为是要阐明重要观点的转折，再往后看就发现不是那么回事儿，可以用by contrast \on the other hand之类的，可能会好点
我拍得有点狠，请见谅。^^

xiaxiaobing919UID: 2606450

2# 小灵易碎

谢谢啦~~当然是拍的越狠越好了~~

binrongerUID: 2747524

If a goal is worthy, then any means taken to attain it is justifiable.

too extreme.
1, first, not violent to moral, then in this scales we can take any means
2, extreme. the civil war
3, something cannot. nuclear weapon should not be considered.
4, even worse, in order to survive, or accomplish a task, the money for them. but we cannot accept this.


Is that always justifiable for us to attain a worthy goal by any means we want, as the speaker asserts? In my opinion, it is extremely presumptuous to claim that all the means are acceptable only when the goal is worthy个人觉得这里的重复有点多余，虽然用了不同的表达方式。. Whether we should put any restriction on the approaches to realize goal would be determined case-by-case.

To begin with, no achievements can be obtained without any expenses, so that it is acceptable that we may jeopardize some interests in order to reach our goals（实现目标一般是用reach的）. For example, in many developing countries, which are suffering starvations, in order to promote economy development to raise the living standard of their residents, they may induce some environmental problems, which is undesirable but acceptable.这句话的表达可以有更好的方式 However, these environmental problems can never in turn threaten the general sanitation of the public. In this analysis, the justice is only approved when the bad consequences are limit in a scale.本段的论据感觉不够有说服力，环境问题对于一个国家同样重要，并非不会危害公共环境，这个本身就有争议的问题不适合做论据。可以列举一些小例子，比如要成功就不能睡懒觉之类的，也可以说明凡是都是有代价的。

When public interests have been threatened or jeopardized, even the payment is egregious, it is worthwhile for us solve it through any means. This point can find its appropriate support with the example of civil war of American, when the slavery has deprived the majority of black people of basic civil rights（deprive sb of sth）. Under such circumstances, Abraham Lincoln, a famous American president, has led the war to eliminate the slavery in South and return the civil rights to black people. The expense of this war is costly, for the farms was destroyed, the transportation no longer worked, not to mention the thousands of people died in the war. However, since the goal is so worthy, the extreme action like wars are still regarded as justifiable.
本段的对于第一句的论证有点差异。Public interest 并不代表slavery interest，这点可以多考虑下
However, the consequences those come along with the approaches that taken to realize the worthy goals should always be taken into consideration. For example, in order to defend our nations, many counties are trying to establish a very strong offensive system, including the development of nuclear weapons. Even though the original purpose are worthy, for it is indispensable for us to defend our nation in order to avoid aggression and therefore guarantee the peaceful life to its people这里好像逻辑不太对，有了武器就能保证和平么？, the danger that resulted from the nuclear weapon has brought a treat to the people all over the world. In such case, it is better to limit the world-wide holding of nuclear weapon, and the only purpose of holding that should be guaranteeing the peace rather than breaking it.
作者的观点好像不太明确，究竟是要不要研究核武器呢？最后一句话着实没怎么研究透彻

When it comes to the general life, the moral standards are also necessary for us to consider when we aimed at achieve our worthy goals. In the commercial field, under many circumstances, the companies would send money to governor in order to attain its monopoly of the local market or the management towards some public projects. 这个在西方是属于犯法的吧，贿赂官员，这个例子最好还是不要了Even though these would bring that company a lucrative（这个词是可获利的意思，不知道放在这里是有什么意思？是想表达利润很多？） profits- regarding to be worthy, it would jeopardize the fairness of the market and the interests of the general public, which is not acceptable. In this case, the means we taken should not be violent to the moral or ethic standards upon which our social rules are based.

In conclusion, I partly agree with the speaker's assertion that all the means are justifiable only when the goal is worthy, which can only be right in a small range. When the public interests are jeopardized or moral standards or ethic values were destroyed, we cannot identify it as justice no matter how worthy the goal is.

感觉本文的论据运用不够经典，作者不妨多斟酌，还有本来就有争议的话题最好还是不要运用到作文中作为论据比较好~~

我是用word的修改改的，这里好像显示不出来，加我Q402623156，我传给你~~


我杯具了，还规定每小时最多发一个帖子~~我哭哭哭哭哭哭哭~~~~

karen_06UID: 2728072

Is that always justifiable for us to attain a worthy goal by any means we want, as the speaker asserts? In my opinion, it is extremely presumptuous to claim that all the means are acceptable only when the goal is worthy(only 作连词似乎没有只要的意思，建议改为only if, as long as 等). Whether we should put any restriction on the approaches to realize goal
would be predicted on a case-by-case basis.

To begin with, no achievements can be obtained without any expenses, so that(去掉that) it is acceptable that we may jeopardize some interests in order to realize our goals(goals are realized at the expense of some interests. Jeopardize：危害、危及) . For example, in many developing countries, who are suffering starvations, in order to promote economy development to raise the living standard of their residents, they may induce some environmental problems, which is undesirable but acceptable. However, these environmental problems can never in turn threaten the general sanitation of the public. In this analysis, the justice is only approved (approve:批准、赞成acquired?)when the bad consequences are limit in a scale. （我觉得不一定要抓大，还可以列举个人取得成功需要付出的艰辛等）

When public interests have been threatened or jeopardized, even the payment is egregious, it is worthwhile for us solve it through any means.（建议改为：有时候集体的利益需要牺牲部分人的利益） This point can find its appropriate support with the example of civil war of American, when the slavery has deprived basic civil rights of the majority of black people. Under such circumstances, Abraham Lincoln, a famous American president, has led the war to eliminate the slavery in South and return the civil rights to its black people. The expense of this war is costly, for the farms have been destroyed, the transportation no longer works, not to mention the thousands of people died in the war. （建议补充一句：然而除了战争，没有其它更好的途径，由此，虽然它带来了一些破坏性后果，如。。。。，但是它还是值得的。。。）However, since the goal is so worthy, the extreme action like wars are still regarded as justifiable.

However, the consequences those come along with the approaches（可简化一下，如consequences caused by the approaches） that taken to realize the worthy goals should always be taken into consideration. For example, in order to defend our nations, many counties (countries) are trying to establish a very strong offensive system, including the development of nuclear weapons. Even though the original purpose are worthy, for it is indispensable for us to defend our nation in order to avoid aggression and therefore guarantee the peaceful life to its people, the danger that resulted from the nuclear weapon has brought a treat(threaten?) to the people all over the world. In such case, it is better to limit the world-wide holding of nuclear weapon, and the only purpose of holding that should be guaranteeing the peace rather than breaking it. (可以列举经济发展引起的环境问题。因为前段列举了战争例子了，这里再举有点不太好哈)

When it comes to the general life, the moral standards are also necessary for us to consider when we aimed at achieve our worthy goals. In the commercial field, under many circumstances, the companies would send money to governor in order to attain its monopoly of the local market or the management towards some public projects. Even though these (this) would bring that company a lucrative profits- regarding to be worthy, it would jeopardize the fairness of the market and the interests of the general public, which is not acceptable. In this case, the means we taken should not be violent to the moral or ethic standards upon which our social rules are based.

In conclusion, I disagree with the speaker's assertion that all the means are justifiable only when the goal is worthy, which can only be right in a small range. When the public interests are jeopardized or moral standards or ethic values were destroyed, we cannot identify it as justice no matter how worthy the goal is.

感觉这篇文章例子的基调定高了，不妨再找找其它小而贴切的例子，还有句子和词语再修改一下。