ISSUE 130求拍！！多谢各位了

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130 "How children aresocialized today determines the destiny of society. Unfortunately,we have not yet learned how to raise children who can help bring about a bettersociety."

Will the socialization level of children bethe key to our society's fate? I concede with the speaker that socializing education ofour offspring is pivotal to boost social advancement, while it is not the onlyway to do so. Moreover, although there are still lots of problems, we havelearned how to raise kids correctly. (中心论点)

Socialize means to fit or train for a socialenvironment, thus the instruction of our next generation can indeed（surely/absolutely/certainly）
determine the direction of ourdevelopment (分论点)- to move forward or backward, to turn into a bright harmony society or aturbulent inferno. The acquirement of knowledge crucially depends on academicdiscussion, which assists individuals to grow a comprehensive understanding ofour world（小论点1） - That'sthe reason why we have to promote socialization so as to impartour children better communication skills, with the help of which they canbroaden their horizons and obtain higher technologies. In the mean time, socialization alsoplays an important role in self-reflection（小论点2）.During socialize process, our kids can discover their own defects and appreciatemerits of others. It is one significant part of mental health, which can notonly prevent murder, arson, bank robbing or any other crimes incited bypsychological distortions, but also rescue our future from the threatens（intimidate/menace） of extremistssuch a Adolf Hitler.

Nevertheless, the destiny of human society also attributes toother aspects（分论点）.For instance, science and technology are primary productive forces.The invention of streamer has fueled our society to industrialization, thedevise of computer has pushed this revolution to a higher level and thanks to thematurity of biochemistry we can now cure diseases we were unable to deal with.If science and technology serves to give impetus to human society, the revision of law meansto keep it stable - The first amendment of Constitution hasensured Americans with the right of free speak, and certain state laws have evenallowed gay marriage（貌似这个和社会稳定没什么关系）.What'smore, cultural transmission is indispensible as well, since it'sa critical part of society. Without the education of culture and traditions,the foundation of our ideology will wither away and a nation will never surviveglobalization.（最后这个下论点论述不是很compelling。。。主要还是不会表达。。。）

（这里有逻辑问题么？总觉得transition有点问题）Fortunately, we seem to havefound a feasible way in raising offspring. Ourgovernment is giving more budgets to compulsory education, parents are eagerlywilling to send their children abroad to absorb latest and advancedtechnologies, and our media have assigned priority to children's mental and physicalhealth than public-amusing reports. Though nowadays millions of kids stillremained illiterate, or even starving; tragedy of war is playing every day; webelieve an ideal and peaceful future is still around the corner.

In short, how children are socialized todayindeed have effects on the fate of society, while more advanced technologies,completed laws or inherited cultures may impact as well. A glorious future is waitingfor human beings, for we have attained the method of teaching our nextgeneration.

自己改了遍，文章依旧用时1小时15分钟，且不连提纲构思时间。现在例子出的比较快了，但是主要问题是论证部分，分析的句子之类出的比较慢，因此耽误了不少时间，今后要加强对例子以及分论点的分析论述能力。