第一次作业Issue130

weviUID: 2678705

首先..我觉得很惭愧...
偶的第一篇Issue是在巨大的诚信压力下写出来的...

鉴于这些天晚上琐事缠身，今天赶的时候就比较晚了，写到现在觉得再不提交有对不起下一位组员的感脚，故先发上来再说。很鲜明的头重脚轻，后半部分还没写完整。一定会再编辑的。汗。

参考材料：范文+首尾模板
（大概大家都有吧...）
提纲比较乱，个人想讲一下用的三个例子。
一个是大俗例子爱因斯坦童鞋，主讲他的童年经历。
（在这里想问的是，写出小板凳的故事是否有必要呢，如果写的话有什么建议的写法吗？因为当时在考虑这个材料的时候一直在想是三个例子都统述，还是挑一个写具体的例子。而且还必须考虑到字数要求以及文体规范。）
一个是巴菲特童鞋，主讲他成功是主要来自于自身的冷静果断的特质。
（求问，这样的例子是否比较算不大俗呢？）
最后是海伦凯勒童鞋，主讲她受父母和老师的影响比较大。

下为正文，写到后来觉得自己的论点找不到特别有依托的例子。
想写一些数据化的例子，以及觉得和children的联系不是很大，希望大家指正。
（结尾相应的段落部分的确匆忙了。字数也不够，366。一定再编辑的...再汗一个。谢谢大家。）

In this statement,the speaker assert that how children are socialized today determines the destiny of society and we have not yet learned how to raise children who can help bring about a better society.While, I do not side with this statement.
I agree with the speaker that if children don’t have proper and equal chance for healthy socialization,they’ll maybe cannot grow up healthily.How they are socialized in school almost reflect the situation of their socialization.They learn both good and bad results in the place where they share with their classmates,their teachers and other members they must have healthy socialization in action.
However,socialization is just one of the reason that how contribute to a better society.I would even prefer that it is also not the most important one.Such a famous person in financial world--Warren Buffett is a remarkable example.His contribution to the society is from calm and decisive of his inner character,in spite of his socialization among the powerful and the rich.Helen Keller,who defeated the physical disability and wrote books full of consequence, got more influence from her parents and her selfless teacher than socialization.And if we have a sight on Einstein,we’ll find it that a great scientist contributed to the society is because of his research-minded childhood,but not the ability of his sociazation.
And the next, the speaker claim that we have not yet learned how to raise children who can help bring about a better society.It depends onthat how we define a “better” society.Nowadays,we have a crazy-speed developing world.Economic progress,social progress,and people try their best to protect the natural environment,too.In such a society,children enter well-developing schools and get perfect education. Children learned more and do more,have wide horizon and a great many knowledge.They are well-armed and they play more and more important actors with the progress of the modern society as they are growing up.
To summarize, when it comes to whether a child grows up to contribute to a better society,socialization would not to be the only one and also not to be the most important one of the reasons.Other factors such as inner character,influence of important person,and childhood event will have greater affect.And I might disagree aboutwhat makes for a “better” society.

NaperyUID: 2710990

模板又很多 大家也都会有
但是不意味着就一定要用模板
一开始就这样用模板显得很生涩而且上下文不顺的感觉
没有仔细的看楼主的文章
我觉得你首先下笔写文的角度就不对
模板看多了 也会觉得了无生趣的
建议楼主多看看版面里的精华
从破题开始 一步一步的慢慢来
而不是指望那些范文 关于北美范文也有不同的说法
还要训练打开思路 积累素材之类的
版面里有很多很多东西值得挖掘的
楼主加油
俺的仅供参考 也不见得是对的 呵呵

weviUID: 2678705

特别感谢楼上的。说实话同样的文章我写了几个版本的。上文是照当时在寄托上看到的很多方法中的一个写的。真的很谢谢楼上的。一起加油。

moonmouseUID: 2694347

1# wevi

In this statement,the speaker asserts that how children are socialized today determines the destiny of society and we have not yet learned how to raise children who can help bring about a better society.While, I do not side with this statement.(我和你的开头好像都是用范文模板，Napery版友指出这样写不妥，现在也觉得把题目抄了一遍作为开头得确不太好，我们俩都待改进。)
I agree with the speaker that if children don’t have proper and equal chance for healthy socialization,they’ll maybe cannot grow up healthily.How they are socialized in school almost reflects the situation of their socialization.They learn both good and bad results in the place where they share with their classmates,their teachers and other members（share好的和不好的result，感觉不应该有teachers） they must have healthy socialization in action（这句话我不大明白，与前边那个长句是什么联系）.
However,socialization is just one of the reasons that how contribute to a better society.I would even prefer that it is also not the most important one.Such a famous person in financial world--Warren Buffett is a remarkable example.His contribution to the society is from calm and decisive of his inner character,in spite of his socialization among the powerful and the rich.Helen Keller,who defeated the physical disability and wrote books full of consequence, got more influence from her parents and her selfless teacher than socialization.And if we have a sight on Einstein,we’ll find it（删除it） that a great
scientist’s contributed(改为contribution) to the society is because of his research-minded childhood,but（删除but） not the ability of his socialization.（于畅同学提的意见不错，应该更强调成功的能力，不是名人，例如It is calm and decisive of his inner character that ……）
And the next, the speaker claim that we have not yet learned how to raise children who can help bring about a better society.It depends onthat how we define a “better” society.Nowadays,we have a crazy-speed developing world.Economic progress,social progress,(感觉这两个应该写成句子才能和后边的并列)and people try their best to protect the natural environment,too.In such a society,children enter well-developing schools and get perfect education. Children learned more and do more,have wide horizon and a great many knowledge.They are well-armed and they play more and more important actors with the progress of the modern society as they are growing up.
To summarize, when it comes to whether a child grows up to contribute to a better society,socialization would not to be the only one and also not to be the most important one of the reasons.Other factors such as inner character,influence of important person,and childhood event will have greater affect（influence）.And I might disagree about（with）what makes for a “better” society.
全文观点比较明确。
能力所限，只修改这么多，请谅解，呵呵

moonmouseUID: 2694347

4# moonmouse

我从word拷时有颜色，怎么发出去就没颜色了，
还有那个字体怎么还不一样大。。。
这需要怎么搞搞呢