1.23 作业

ivybettyUID: 2328308

30# 奇流沙
多谢！认真批阅，全部笑纳！

ivybettyUID: 2328308

2.17 作业
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Technology makes people’s lives simpler in turn to make people’s lives more complicated.

I firmly support this statement that technology makes people's lives simpler in turn to make people's lives more complicated. Resons are as follwing.

Admittedly, technology improves living conditions a lot and makes people's lives simpler and easier. People think this century is the century of technology. People gain many benefits through rapid technology development.Technology gives us lots of options to make our lives better and easier. For example, we have light buld instead of oil light, we don't need worry about buying oil to keep oil light lighten; we can buy things through a click mouse without shopping in crowded;we have different transpotion ways,and we can travel the whole world with less time than our acestors.

What's more, technology does makes our lives simpler, while it in turn makes our lives complicated.First of all, people who do not keep pace with technology development feel their lives more difficult. For example, most seniors don't get use to use new technology. New technology might cause some problems for them--they might have difficulty in purchasing things through internet,paying phone bills, and even reading books. Then, lots of new issues spring up with high tech. For a instance, we heard plenty of law suits related to internet these days, like privacy intrudement, copyright infridgement and internet defraudation,etc.Lastly,high tech make people lives complicated. People don't need too many friends as before, because this new era of technology put too much things in people's lives and they are busy in experiencing and choosing new things.That is why sometiome people feel emtional loneliness and don't know what they should do in next step. In sum, New technology makes lives easier at the same time make lives complicated.

All in all, I positively affirm that technology makes peoples lives easier and in turn to make those more complicated.
写完了才发现没理解对题意。

奇流沙UID: 2698749

嘻嘻，又是我给你改啊~~Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Technology makes people’s lives simpler in turn to make people’s lives more complicated.
I firmly support this statement that technology makes people's lives simpler in turn to make people's lives more complicated. Reasons are as follwing.

Admittedly, technology improves living conditions a lot and makes people's lives simpler and easier. People think this century is the century of technology.(这一句用people think不如用It is…句式) People gain many benefits through rapid technology development. Technology gives us lots of options to make our lives better and easier. For example, we have light buld(这个是要表达什么咧?) instead of oil light, we don't need worry about buying oil to keep oil light lighten; we can buy things through a click mouse without shopping in crowded(这句是要表达可以上网买而不用去市场买,但是并不能说通过点击鼠标就能买了); we have different transporting ways, and we can travel the whole world with less time than our ancestors.
油灯—买东西---交通方式
这一段是欲抑先扬吧？先举了几个例子来说明科技却是是带来了简便的生活。但是举的例子有点点混乱，既然是想从大方面来说，既然最后提到了交通，那么前面提到的油灯等等是不是太小了？干脆从衣食住行方面来举例呢？一己之见，你认为呢？
What's more, technology does make(s) our lives simpler, while it in turn makes our lives complicated. First of all, people who do not keep pace with technology development feel their lives more difficult. For example, most seniors don't get use to use new technology. New technology might cause some problems for them--they might have difficulty in purchasing things through internet, paying phone bills, and even reading books(这个…). Then, lots of new issues spring up with high tech.(用得好……学习) For a instance, we heard plenty of law suits related to internet these days, like privacy intrudement(请教), copyright infringement and internet defraudation(高级词汇啊~), etc. Lastly, high tech makes people’s lives complicated.(这一句是主题句下面的分论点，又与主题句重复，我不知道可不可以这么写啊……) People don't need too(as如何？) many friends as before, because this new era of technology put too much things in people's lives and they are busy in experiencing and choosing new things. That is why sometimes people feel emotional
loneliness and don't know what they should do in next step. In sum, New technology makes lives easier at the same time make lives complicated.

e
All in all, I positively affirm that technology makes peoples lives easier and in turn to make those more complicated.
我觉得写的不错了，后面抑的一段不错论点明确，思路清晰，但是最后一个论点少逊色于前两个，不是论点的问题，是表述的与之前相比。第一段和最后一段作者都选择了开门见山，这样有利有弊，可能到时看到的老师会认为简洁直接，但是也有可能会被误认为语言不充实啊~所以首段和尾端我觉得还是要稍稍变换一下说法，在稍稍丰满一下~

刀小镜UID: 2618532

I firmly support this statement that technology makes people's lives simpler in turn to make people's lives more complicated. Resons are as follwing.

Admittedly, technology improves living conditions a lot and makes people's lives simpler and easier. People think this century is the century of technology. People gain many benefits through (from)rapid technology development. Technology gives us lots of options to make our lives better and easier. For example, we have light buld instead of oil light, (and)we don't need worry about buying oil to keep oil light lighten;(.) we(We) can buy things through a click mouse without shopping in crowded;(.) we(We) have different transpotion ways, and(换成so that) we can travel the whole world with less time than our acestors. （向姑娘学习灯油的例子^^）

What's more, technology does makes (make) our lives simpler, while it in turn makes our lives complicated. First of all, people who do not keep pace with technology development feel their lives more difficult. For example, most seniors don't get use to use new technology. New technology might cause some problems for them--they might have difficulty in purchasing things through internet, paying phone bills, and even reading books. Then（What’s more）, lots of new issues spring up with high tech. For a(去掉) instance, we heard plenty of law suits related to internet these days, like privacy intrudement, copyright infridgement and internet defraudation, etc. Lastly, high tech make(makes) people lives complicated(最好换个词
因为这一段开头就说复杂列举到第三点又说复杂逻辑有些不清了就). People don't need too many friends as before, because this new era of technology put too much things in people's lives and they are busy in experiencing and choosing new things. That is why sometiome people feel emtional loneliness and don't know what they should do in next step. In sum, new technology makes lives easier at the same time make lives complicated.

All in all, I positively affirm that technology makes peoples lives easier and in turn to make those more complicated.

姑娘以后注意一下单词拼写 标红的都是有错的
开头结尾过于简单了 尽量扩展一下吧
姑娘是想表达科技使生活变得快捷但是更复杂是吗 我觉得这么些风险很大容易引起误解 最好还是侧重一方面写

ivybettyUID: 2328308

2.18 作业
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Letting a friend make a mistake is better than saying or doing something that may destroy your friendship.

I firmly agree that letting a friend make a mistake is better than saying or doing anything that may destory our friendship.Reasons are as following.

First of all, to err is to be human. To make mistakes is a human nature. Each person makes mistakes and no one can stop to do things wrong. For example, we might get up late and miss the work schedule in the morning even though we set up clock alarm the night before.We might have poor plan about job in a big meeting even though we had already planned it carefully, like booking a small hotel which could not accomodate all participants to conference.We might eat something wrong, which in turn to cause our alergies. That is why, to err is not aviodable for human beings.

To take a further step: to err is to be human--it is an inevitable nature thing, but at the same time people learn things from their mistakes.For instances, people who get fine for being late must try to find out other means to help themselves not to be late anymore. People who make a poor arrangement for a meeting must notice every detail next time especially to count number of people.People who are alergy to certain food must remeber not to eat it any more. Therefore, to err is good to human, because it propells people to learn more from their faults.

At last, since noboday can aviod making mistakes and people learn things from errors, why their friends need to tell them what to do or help them do something? Not mention that their friends' opinions might not be suitable for them and finally ruined their relationship. For example, friends should not hide drinks for acholics and it is useless to tell them stop drinking achol, because it didn't help acholics relieve from drinking at all and normally achoholics need drink less and less to finaly cure themselves. So to let people make mistake is better than to tell them what to do or help them do things.

All in all, I totally support that it is better to let people make mistakes than to tell them what to do or help them out which might destory relationships among friends.

ivybettyUID: 2328308

34# 刀小镜
多谢多谢认真批阅
拼写一定多多注意!
这个文章我写得也很汗,那个第三段第三点有何高见请指教,我写到那也不知该怎么写好了.有劳了!

ivybettyUID: 2328308

33# 奇流沙
是啊,很有缘的说:)
多谢指点逻辑。那个第三点的问题，我也技穷了，有何高见，请指教！

lavenderelaineUID: 2689477

2.18 作业, c6 H6 _8 d) A* s+ a
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Letting a friend make a mistake is better than saying or doing something that may destroy your friendship.1 m) g$ q' G& e* Q  E" u

I firmly agree (with好一些)that letting a friend make a mistake is better than saying or doing anything that may destory(destroy,赫赫这词我也老拼错) our friendship. Reasons are as following.

First of all, to err is to be human.有这个现成的句子是么？ To make mistakes is a human nature.(human nature不可数。改成It is human nature to make mistakes会不会好谢~赫) Each person makes mistakes and no one can stop to do things wrong.(没人能停下来然后去犯错。LZ的意思是不是no one can stop making mistakes没人能不犯错误？stop to do 和stop doing 的区别) For example, we might get up late and miss the work schedule in the morning even though we set up clock alarm (set an alarm clock或 wind an alarm clock。动词，冠词) the night before. We might have （a）poor plan about （the）job in a big meeting even though we had already planned it carefully(为什么过去完成时呢，是不是应该have planned现在是举例假设吧), like booking a small hotel which could not accomodate(accommodate) all participants to conference. (这两句话能这么连接在一起么？不太清楚啊 不好乱说。请教了)We might eat something wrong(查了查eat improperly或eat sb sick是习惯表达，哈), which in turn to cause our allergies(to 去掉。是定语从句Which后面加句子). That is why, to err is not aviodable (avoidable)for human beings.(列举式，排山倒海之气势~学习了！)

To take a further step: to err is to be human--it is an inevitable(inevitably) nature(natural) thing, but at the same time people learn things from their mistakes. For instances(不用s吧for instance固定搭配), people who get fine(s) for being late must try to find out other means to help themselves not to be late anymore. People who make a poor arrangement for a meeting must notice every detail next time especially to count number of people.(不太顺)People who are alergy（allergy过敏）
to certain food (我觉得这里是食物的总称而是强调对某几类食物过敏是不是用foods比较好)must remeber (remember)not to eat it any more. Therefore, to err is good to human, because it propells (propels)people to learn more from their faults.

At last, since noboday (nobody笔误哈)can aviod（avoid） making mistakes and people learn things from errors, why (do)their friends need to tell them what to do or help them do something? Not mention （not to mention字典上市这么搭配的）that their friends' opinions might not be suitable for them and finally ruined their relationship. For example, friends should not hide drinks for acholics （alcoholics?酒鬼？）and it is useless to tell them stop drinking achol, because it didn't help acholics relieve from drinking at all and normally achoholics need drink less and less to finaly （笔误finally）cure themselves. So to let people make mistake is better than to tell them what to do or help them do things.

All in all, I totally support that it is better to let people make mistakes than to tell them what to do or help them out which might destory relationships among friends.




清Ivy注意笔误的拼写 和句号后面的空格 ^.^；
貌似 to do 作主语的句子太多了，看着有些生硬。建议可以变换-ing 或其他的形式作主语 。举行多样~;
可数名词前有时候会拉下a 或the什么的   小漏洞也要加小心内~^^，或者名词后面加S也ok 变复数； 也有写语法错误
建议段落层次再鲜明些

Lz真的很认真内！ 我第一次写 也第一次改， 许多地方改得不准确的希望楼主见谅！ 我也要坚持联系 和不断修改自己的作文啊。向楼主学习~

ivybettyUID: 2328308

38# lavenderelaine
多谢!
拼写\语法都要注意了,有点屡教不改的意思了.
另外要注意固定搭配了.
互相学习,多多交流!
I firmly agree (with好一些)后面是一个句子,可能that更贴切.that letting a friend make a mistake is better than saying or doing anything that may destory(destroy,赫赫这词我也老拼错)谢过 our friendship. Reasons are as following.
, m1 r' O7 b' A2 y; c! I8 X( D- `4 ^; ]0 C) @2 _; B& L) _, |
First of all, to err is to be human.有这个现成的句子是么？好象是在Hamlet中,但不知用的准确否? To make mistakes is a human nature.(human nature不可数。改成It is human nature to make mistakes会不会好谢~赫) 很好,笑纳!Each person makes mistakes and no one can stop to do things wrong.(没人能停下来然后去犯错。LZ的意思是不是no one can stop making mistakes没人能不犯错误？stop to do 和stop doing 的区别) 很好,笑纳.For example, we might get up late and miss the work schedule in the morning even though we set up clock alarm (set an alarm clock或 wind an alarm clock。动词，冠词) 很好,笑纳the night before. We might have （a）poor plan about （the）job in a big meeting even though we had already planned it carefully(为什么过去完成时呢，是不是应该have planned现在是举例假设吧我语法不灵光不知道那样更好了 like booking a small hotel which could not accomodate(accommodate) all participants to conference. (这两句话能这么连接在一起么？不太清楚啊 不好乱说。请教了)我也不太确信这种表达可取不可取We might eat something wrong(查了查eat improperly或eat sb sick是习惯表达，哈),很好,笑纳 which in turn to cause our allergies(to 去掉。是定语从句Which后面加句子). 很好,笑纳That is why, to err is not aviodable (avoidable)for human beings.(列举式，排山倒海之气势~学习了！)
i. s5 E! \# |8 o
To take a further step: to err is to be human--it is an inevitable(inevitably) nature(natural) thing, but at the same time people learn things from their mistakes. For instances(不用s吧for instance固定搭配好的学习了, people who get fine(s) for being late must try to find out other means to help themselves not to be late anymore. People who make a poor arrangement for a meeting must notice every detail next time especially to count number of people.(不太顺)改成count numer of attendance如何?People who are alergy（allergy过敏） 3 c2 [- t; Q* w
to certain food (我觉得这里是食物的总称而是强调对某几类食物过敏是不是用foods比较好)must remeber (remember)not to eat it any more. Therefore, to err is good to human, because it propells (propels)people to learn more from their faults.$ E1 R2 z& Z9 L
0 K. ?( O9 @; l/ ]* r- o
At last, since noboday (nobody笔误哈)can aviod（avoid） making mistakes and people learn things from errors, why (do)their friends need to tell them what to do or help them do something? Not mention （not to mention字典上市这么搭配的）很好,多谢!that their friends' opinions might not be suitable for them and finally ruined their relationship. For example, friends should not hide drinks for acholics （alcoholics?酒鬼？）and it is useless to tell them stop drinking achol, because it didn't help acholics relieve from drinking at all and normally achoholics need drink less and less to finaly （笔误finally）cure themselves. So to let people make mistake is better than to tell them what to do or help them do things. / p) s8 U; {& d& G

All in all, I totally support that it is better to let people make mistakes than to tell them what to do or help them out which might destory relationships among friends.,

lavenderelaineUID: 2689477

38# lavenderelaine
多谢!
拼写\语法都要注意了,有点屡教不改的意思了.
另外要注意固定搭配了.
互相学习,多多交流!
I firmly agree (with好一些)后面是一个句子,可能that更贴切.that letting a friend make a  ...
ivybetty 发表于 2010-2-19 15:52

ivybettyUID: 2328308

2.19 Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? It is more important for a teacher to help students gain self-confidence than to teach them specific knowledge?

What should a teacher focus on, helping students gain self-confidence or teaching them certain knowledge? Some people deem that helping students build up confidence is the first duty of teachers, while others stand against the point above and they assert that teaching specific knowledge is the most important than anything else. In my point of view, I would like to say that teaching knowledge is more essential than assisting in building up confidence. Reasons are as following.

Admittedly, as teachers, it is one of their tasks to inspire students to help them become more confident. A good teacher is always good at encouraging learners to believe themselves, and in return learners become more eager to study new things by their coaches' praise. For instance, when children spend their days in kindergarten, their tutors usually give them small red flowers to praise their good jobs, which propel kids to be more self-reliance.

However, to help students find their confidence is not the major task of educationists. As teachers are called, their major task is teaching students certain knowledge, like English, chemistry, law, etc. Schoolmasters' fundamental task is to use what they have learned to teach. If mentors can not teach and the only thing they can do is to assist kids to find their confidence, I would say that they miss their primary task and they are not qualified as teachers.

In addition, students need to inspire to have confidence, and this is a task for all the people around them not only teachers in schools but also their parents, classmates and friends. To set up confidence needs incessant encouragement. Therefore, each people around kids should spare no efforts in inspiring them to believe themselves.

All in all, I firmly support that as a teacher teaching is foremost duty and more important than helping gain confidence.

奇流沙UID: 2698749

2.19 Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? It is more important for a teacher to help students gain self-confidence than to teach them specific knowledge?
What should a teacher focus on, helping students gain self-confidence or teaching them certain knowledge(确定的知识，没见过这个用法哦)? Some people deem that helping students build up confidence is the first duty of teachers, while others stand against the point above and they assert that teaching specific knowledge is the most important than anything else. In my point of view, I would like to say that teaching knowledge is more essential than assisting in building up confidence. Reasons are as following.
Admittedly, as teachers, it is one of their tasks to inspire students to help them become more confident. A good teacher is always good at encouraging learners to believe themselves, and in return learners become more eager to study new things by their coaches' praise. For instance, when children spend their days in kindergarten, their tutors usually give them small red flowers to praise their good jobs（哇，果真哪儿的幼儿园都这个奖励方法……）, which propel kids to be more self-reliance（这个是名词哇）.
However, to help students find their confidence is not the major task of educationists. As teachers are called, their major task is teaching students certain knowledge, like English, chemistry, law, etc. Schoolmasters' fundamental task is to use what they have learned to teach. If mentors can not teach and the only thing they can do is to assist kids to find their confidence, I would say that they miss their primary task and they are not qualified as teachers.
In addition, students need to inspire(be inspired) to have confidence, and this is a task for all the people around them not only teachers in schools but also their parents, classmates and friends. To set up confidence needs incessant encouragement. Therefore, each people around kids should spare no efforts in inspiring them to believe themselves.
All in all, I firmly support that as a teacher teaching is foremost duty and more important than helping gain confidence.
呃，ivy童鞋，语言句法我都没找到什么硬伤，我觉得自己有点思维定势了的说，但是我觉得结构和论证都是不错的，但是你要不要再找另外的童鞋帮你改捏？
不过，首段便充实好多，表扬一下~~~

ivybettyUID: 2328308

2.19 Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? It is more important for a teacher to help students gain self-confidence than to teach them specific knowledge?5 C& a7 r- c* a, s What should a teacher focus on, helping students gain self-confidence or teaching them certain knowledge(确定的知识，没见过这个用法哦)? Some people deem that helping students build up confidence is the first duty of teachers, while others stand against the point above and they assert that teaching specific knowledge is the most important than anything else. In my point of view, I would like to say that teaching knowledge is more essential than assisting in building up confidence. Reasons are as following. % A. h5 ?1 |: OAdmittedly, as teachers, it is one of their tasks to inspire students to help them become more confident. A good teacher is always good at encouraging learners to believe themselves, and in return learners become more eager to study new things by their coaches' praise. For instance, when children spend their days in kindergarten, their tutors usually give them small red flowers to praise their good jobs（哇，果真哪儿的幼儿园都这个奖励方法……）, which propel kids to be more self-reliance（这个是名词哇）. 3 n. [5 ?3 _( nHowever, to help students find their confidence is not the major task of educationists. As teachers are called, their major task is teaching students certain knowledge, like English, chemistry, law, etc. Schoolmasters' fundamental task is to use what they have learned to teach. If mentors can not teach and the only thing they can do is to assist kids to find

2.19 Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? It is more important for a teacher to help students gain self-confidence than to teach them specific knowledge?" Z( s! G8 u3 Q+ ~3 Z
What should a teacher focus on, helping students gain self-confidence or teaching them certain(particular, precise, fixed, special, definite) knowledge(确定的知识，没见过这个用法哦)? Some people deem that helping students build up confidence is the first duty of teachers, while others stand against the point above and they assert that teaching specific knowledge is the most important than anything else. In my point of view, I would like to say that teaching knowledge is more essential than assisting in building up confidence. Reasons are as following.. ~, c) d- q4 V6 r+ z  t1 D% a+ G
Admittedly, as teachers, it is one of their tasks to inspire students to help them become more confident. A good teacher is always good at encouraging learners to believe themselves, and in return learners become more eager to study new things by their coaches' praise. For instance, when children spend their days in kindergarten, their tutors usually give them small red flowers to praise their good jobs（哇，果真哪儿的幼儿园都这个奖励方法……）, which propel kids to be more self-reliance(self-assured.self-relied)（这个是名词哇）.+ g: E+ t$ @' I* ^; a
However, to help students find their confidence is not the major task of educationists. As teachers are called, their major task is teaching students certain knowledge, like English, chemistry, law, etc. Schoolmasters' fundamental task is to use what they have learned to teach. If mentors can not teach and the only thing they can do is to assist kids to find their confidence, I would say that they miss their primary task and they are not qualified as teachers.! {9 I9 R, [+ @4 X% K
In addition, students need to inspire(be inspired) to have confidence, and this is a task for all the people around them not only teachers in schools but also their parents, classmates and friends. To set up confidence needs incessant encouragement. Therefore, each people around kids should spare no efforts in inspiring them to believe themselves.
3 d: W- k+ w# H7 Z2 `5 Q9 `$ NAll in all, I firmly support that as a teacher teaching is foremost duty and more important than helping gain confidence.0 C(

Uranus1989UID: 2756616

2.19 Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? It is more important for a teacher to help students gain self-confidence than to teach them specific knowledge?

What should a teacher focus on, helping students gain self-confidence or teaching them certain knowledge? Some people deem that helping students build up confidence is the first duty of teachers, while others stand against the point above and they assert that teaching specific knowledge is the most important than anything else. In my point of view, I would like to say that teaching knowledge is more essential than assisting in building up confidence. Reasons are as following（托福作文的时间也不是太多吧，这样的套话还是别浪费时间了）.

Admittedly, as teachers, it is one of their tasks to inspire students to help them become more confident. A good teacher is always good at encouraging learners to believe themselves, and in return learners become more eager to study new things by their coaches'（这个好像只是表达教练的意思吧？合适么？) praise. For instance, when children spend their days in kindergarten, their tutors(sorry,如果我没记错，这个专门指家庭教师的意思吧) usually give them small red flowers to praise their good jobs, which propel kids to be more self-reliance(自理).

However, to help students find their confidence is not the major task of educationists. As teachers are called, their major task is teaching students certain knowledge, like English, chemistry, law, etc. Schoolmasters' fundamental task is to use what they have learned to teach. If mentors can not teach and the only thing they can do is to assist kids to find their confidence, I would say that they miss their primary task and they are not qualified as(没有资格) teachers.

In addition, students need to inspire to have confidence, and this is a task for all the people around them not only teachers in schools but also their parents, classmates and friends. To set up confidence needs incessant(不断) encouragement. Therefore, each people around kids should spare no efforts in inspiring them to believe themselves(believe in themselves).

All in all, I firmly（没必要太绝对) support that as a teacher teaching is foremost duty and more important than helping gain confidence.

总体来说我觉得写的还挺好，语法错误挺少的，段落也很清晰，挺好的。

几个小问题吧：托福作文好像比较八股，但是我觉得还是不要把很多套用的话放在里面充数这样，这样的话我估计人家也不会给你加分的，而且还浪费时间。有100个字的充实内容就不要多写1个字的多余的废话。你说呢？

另外，说话下结论不要太绝对吧。

这是我的看法，当然你也可以有不同看法。