1006G[redemption]备考贴 by pennie613

pennie613UID: 2733621

这个寒假对我来说真是个巨大的考验...
But I've made up my mind!
We are G-Fighters!!

Timetable（1月24日至2月4日）
早晨7：30——9：30 写作
晚上10：00——11：00 总结好句，修改，讨论

实习结束，全力投入战斗！！

pennie613UID: 2733621

Essay Response  6 Score  

In this era of rapid social and technological  change  leading to increasing life complexity and psychological displacement(这个和很多中国学生写的with the rapid development of economy一比就不是一个境界了）, both positive and negative effects among persons in Western society call for a balance in which there are both specialists and generalists.

【简洁明晰的开头段，全文TS，表明立场，平衡观点，专家和通才都重要】

Specialists are necessary（态度） in order to allow society as a whole to properly and usefully assimilate the masses of new information and knowledge that have come out of research and have been widely disseminated through mass global media（理由）. As the head of Pharmacology at my university once said (and I paraphrase):（实在想不出例子时貌似可以这样小编一下）"I can only research what I do because there are so many who have come before me to whom I can turn for basic knowledge. It is only because of each of the narrowly focussed individuals at each step that a full and true  understanding of the complexities of life can be had. Each person can only hold enough knowledge to add one small rung to the ladder, but together we can climb to the moon."（定义例子） This illustrates the point that our societies level of knowledge and technology is at a stage in which there simply must be specialists in order for our society to take advantage of the information available to us（验证）.

【正文第一段，标准的态度+理由{+解释理由}+定义例子+验证例子结构：专家是重要的Specialist+】

Simply put, without specialists, our society would find itself bogged down in
the Sargasso sea of information overload. While it was fine for early physicists to learn and understand the few laws and ideas that existed during their times, now, no one individual can possibly digest and assimilate all of the knowledge in any given area. 【逆否命题=原命题，个人认为可和上段观点合并】

On the other hand, Over specialization means narrow focus in which people can lose the larger picture.(态度specialist-） No one can hope to understand the human body by only inspecting one's own toe-nails.（逆否again） What we learn from a narrow focus may be internally logically coherent but may be irrelevant or fallacious within the framework of a broader perspective. Further, if we inspect only our toe-nails, we may conclude that the whole body is hard and white. （用inspect one toe-nails为例，并深入分析）Useful conclusions and thus perhaps useful inventions must come by sharing among specialists. Simply throwing out various discovieries means we have a pile of useless discoveries, it is only when one can make with them a mosaic that we can see that they may form a picture. （第二种态度小总结）

【第二种态度：专家有时也是不好的specialist-，举例】

Not only may over-specialization be dangerous in terms of the truth, purity and cohesion of  knowledge, but it can also serve to drown moral or universal issues（态度specialist-）. Generalists and only generalists can see a broad enough picture to realize and introduce to the world the problems of the environment. With specialization, each person focusses on their research and their goals. Thus, industrialization, expansion, and new technologies are driven ahead. Meanwhile no individual can see the wholisitc view of our global existence in which true advancement may mean stifling individual specialists for the greater good of all.（逆否命题加强）

【从科教角度用not only but also 和逆否命题加强specialist-，同时引出generalist+】
  

Finally, over-specialization in a people's daily lives and jobs has meant personal and psychological compartmentalization.（specialist-） People are forced into pigeon holes early in life (at least by university) and must conciously attempt to consume external forms of stimuli and information in order not to be lost in their small and isolated universe. Not only does this make for narrowly focussed and generally pooprly-educated individuals, but it guarantees a sense of loss of community, often followed by a feeling of psychological displacement and personal dissatisfaction.

【继续从生活角度论证specialist-】

Without generalists, society becomes inward-looking and eventually inefficient. Without a society that recognizes the importance of broad-mindedness and for sharing generalities, individuals become isolated. Thus, while our form of society necessitates specialists, generalists are equally important. Specialists drive us forward in a series of thrusts while generalists make sure we are still on the jousting field and know what the stakes are.

【漂亮的结尾段：两个逆否一气呵成，加强specialist-态度，之后点名generalist+，并将两者作比较结束全文】

pennie613UID: 2733621

Issue 5
Specialists are not overrated today.  More generalists may be needed, but not to overshadow the specialists. （表明specialist+观点）Generalists can provide a great deal of information on many topics of interest with a broad range of ideas.  People who look at the overall view of things can help with some of the large problems our society faces today.  But specialists are necessary to gain a better understanding of more in depth methods to solve problems or fixing things. （加强态度）
【Position+Reason型开头，TS，表明全文支持specialist】
One good example of why specialists are not overrated is in the medical field.  Doctors are necessary for people to live healthy lives. When a person is sick, he may go to a general practitioner to find out the cause of his problems.  Usually, this kind of "generalized" doctor can help most ailments with simple and effective treatments. Sometimes, though, a sickness may go beyond a family doctor's knowledge or the prescribed treatments don't work the way they should.  When a sickness progresses or becomes diagnosed as a disease that requires more care than a family doctor can provide, he may be referred to a specialist. For instance, a person with constant breathing problems that require hospitalization may be suggested to visit an asthma specialist. Since a family doctor has a great deal of knowledge of medicine, he can decide when his methods are not effective and the patient needs to see someone who knows more about the specific problem; someone who knows how it begins, progresses, and specified treatments.  This is an excellent example of how a generalied person may not be equipped enough to handle something as well as a specialized one can.
【正文段开头即直接举例不太好，最好先铺垫一下。从医学角度论证，最后总结有些生硬】
Another example of a specialist who is needed instead of a generalist involves teaching.  In grammar school, children learn all the basic principles of reading, writing, and arithematic.  But as children get older and progress in school, they gain a better understanding of the language and mathematical processes.  As the years in school increase, they need to learn more and more specifics and details about various subjects. They start out by learning basic math concepts such as addition, subtraction, division, and multiplication. A few years later, they are ready to begin algebraic concepts, geometry, and calculus. They are also ready to learn more advanced vocabulary, the principles of how all life is composed and how it functions.  One teacher or professor can not provide as much in depth discussion on all of these topics as well as one who has learned the specifics and studied mainly to know everything that is currently known about one of these subjects.  Generalized teachers are required to begin molding students at a very early age so they can get ready for the future ahead of them in gaining more facts about the basic subjects and finding out new facts on the old ones.
【第二个例子，从教学角度论证，依然直接出例子】
These are only two examples of why specialists are not highly overrated and more generalists are not necessary to the point of overshadowing them.  Generalists are needed to give the public a broad understanding of some things.  But , specialists are important to help maintain the status, health, and safety of our society.  Specialists are very necessary.
【结尾段：第一句很生硬，总结两个例子，仓促结束全文】

pennie613UID: 2733621

The Issue task is an exercise in critical thinking and persuasive writing.

• What, precisely, is the central issue?
• Do I agree with all or with any part of the claim? Why or why not?
• Does the claim make certain assumptions? If so, are they reasonable?
• Is the claim valid only under certain conditions? If so, what are they?
• Do I need to explain how I interpret certain terms or concepts used in the claim?
• If I take a certain position on the issue, what reasons support my position?
• What examples—either real or hypothetical—could I use to illustrate those reasons and advance my point of view? Which examples are most compelling?

Readers will see, for example, some Issue responses at the 6 score
level that begin by briefly summarizing the writer's position on the issue and then explicitly announcing the main points to be argued. They will see others that lead into the writer's position by making a prediction, asking a series of questions, describing a scenario, or defining critical terms in the quotation. The readers know that a writer can earn a high score by giving multiple examples or by presenting a single, extended example.

pennie613UID: 2733621

Argument
6 Score
The notion that protective gear reduces the injuries suffered in accidents seems at first glance to be an obvious conclusion.
After all, it is the intent of these products to either provent accidents from occuring in the first place or to reduce the injuries suffered by the wearer should an accident occur. However, the conclusion that investing in high quality protective gear greatly reduces the risk of being severely injured in an accident may mask other (and potentially more significant) causes of injuries and may inspire people to over invest financially and psychologically in protective gear.

【首段：指出argument有谬误，概述原文推理过程，为下文展开做准备】
First of all,
as mentioned in the argument, there are two distinct kinds of gear - preventative gear (such as light reflecting material) and protective gear (such as helmets). Preventative gear is intended to warn others, presumably for the most part motorists, of the presence of the roller skater. It works only if the "other" is a responsible and caring individual who will afford the skater the necessary space and attention. Protective gear is intended to reduce the effect of any accident, whether it is caused by an other, the skater or some force of nature. Protective gear does little, if anything, to prevent accidents but is presumed to reduce the injuries that occur in an accident.
The statistics on injuries suffered by skaters would be more interesting if the skaters were grouped into those wearing no gear at all, those wearing protective gear only, those wearing preventative gear only and those wearing both. These statistics could provide skaters with a clearer understanding of which kinds of gear are more beneficial.

【指出两种护具的差异：错误类比；调查对象分组不当：无效调查】

The argument above is weakened by the fact that it does not take into account the inherent differences between skaters who wear gear and those who do not. If is at least likely that those who wear gear may be generally more responsible and/or safety conscious individuals. The skaters who wear gear may be less likely to cause accidents through careless or dangerous behavior. It may, in fact, be their natural caution and repsonsibility that keeps them out of the emergency room rather than the gear itself. Also, the statistic above is based entirely on those who are skating in streets and parking lots which are relatively dangerous places to skate in the first place.People who are generally more safety conscious (and therefore more likely to wear gear) may choose to skate in safer areas such as parks or back yards.

【戴护具和不戴护具人之间的差异：错误类比；调查地点不具代表性：无效调查】

The statistic also goes not differentiate between severity of injuries. The conclusion that safety gear prevents severe injuries suggests that it is presumed that people come to the emergency room only with severe injuries. This is certainly not the case. Also, given that skating is a recreational activity that may be primarily engaged in during evenings and weekends (when doctors' offices are closed), skater with less severe injuries may be especially likely to come to the emergency room for treatment.

【进一步阐述调查不具代表性：无效调查】
Finally, there is absolutely no evidence provided that high quality (and presumably more expensive) gear is any more beneficial than other kinds of gear. For example, a simple white t-shirt may provide the same preventative benefit as a higher quality, more expensive, shirt designed only for skating. Before skaters are encouraged to invest heavily in gear, a more complete understanding of the benefit provided by individual pieces of gear would be helpful.

【hasty generalization】

The argument for safety gear based on emergency room statistics could provide important information and potentially saves lives.
Before conclusions about the amount and kinds of investments that should be made in gear are reached, however, a more complete understanding of the benefits are needed. After all, a false confidence in ineffective gear could be just as dangerous as no gear at all.

【结尾段：归纳谬误，简要提出解决办法】

pennie613UID: 2733621

1
3+4+5
2
7

A To begin with, lacking information about the number of patients for each group, it is impossible to access the validity of the results. In general, patients chosen for the study should be able to represent all.
样本不足，样本不具代表性
B The author fails to point out clearly how the study was conducted. 不是一个医生，没说治疗方法有何不同；文中说给糖，没说什么糖；病人相信他们在服用抗生素，也许是心理导向
C The author commits a fallacy of hasty generalization. Even if the hypothesis has been proved by preliminary results of the study, it does not follow that all patients who are diagnosed with muscle strain should be intensively suggested that they would take antibiotics as part of their treatment.急于概括
[列完提纲感觉能说的不少，但是缺乏条理性。对谬误攻击的顺序感比较模糊]
字数：531
时间：不知道。。。下次得算时间了
The argument is well-presented; However, the author fails to convince me that it is thoroughly well-reasoned. By stating the study of two groups of patients, which presumes the connection between secondary infection and taking antibiotics, the argument for advising all patients diagnosed with muscle strain to take antibiotics as part of treatment seems logical.

However, lacking information about the number of patients for each group, it is impossible to access the validity of the results. This study is conduct with merely two groups without clear statement which tells us exactly how many patients for each group. Also, in general, patients chosen for the study should be able to represent all. Yet the author fails to provide the information that how they chose the patients as well as the health condition and medical history of the patients in the study. It is entirely possible that some of these patients have taken antibiotics for a long period of time, thus antibiotics are less effectual for their treatment. Since the study is not statistically reliable, we can see that the conclusion of the study of two groups of patients is doubtful.

The argument is weakened by the fact that the author fails to point out clearly how the study was conducted. The treating doctor for each group differs in their specialized field and the author fails to state clearly that they treat in a same way. Perhaps these two doctors give their treatment to the two groups of patients in dissimilar ways. For that matter, perhaps it is due to the different treatment that leads to the different recuperation time of the two groups. Moreover, in the process of treatment, the patients of the second group were given sugar pills and they believed that they were taking antibiotics. Yet no evidence is offered to substantiate that the sugar pills they took have no effect to the recuperation of the patients. Besides, it is equally possible that it is psychological hint which they believed they took antibiotics that lead to the result of the study. In short, unless the author can show that there is no necessary connection between the above factors, I cannot accept this conclusion.

Finally, the author commits a fallacy of hasty generalization. Even if the hypothesis has been proved by preliminary results of the study, it does not follow that all patients who are diagnosed with muscle strain should be intensively suggested that they would take antibiotics as part of their treatment. It is highly possible that some patients have their particular medical history which presumes that they would be vulnerable if they followed this treatment with antibiotics. Besides, the author didn't provide any solid information which can convince us that it is suitable for all patients who were diagnosed with muscle strain to take antibiotics as parts of their treatment. Therefore, without rolling out these and other possible factors, the author cannot confidently conclude the general use of antibiotics in treatment.

In sum, this argument relies on doubtful assumptions that render it unconvincing as it stands. Before any final decisions are made about medical treatment, the author and doctors should evaluate all possible alternatives and causes for the recuperation time.

samehereUID: 2756069

6# pennie613

不好意思开始没看到你的Argu，不过说这篇写完了么？如果是写完了发邮件给我吧～～拍完明天再发给你。。

（呵呵gantian帐号因为一小时发3个贴不能再回复了，重新注册了一个来回复。）


加油加油～～

pennie613UID: 2733621

恩刚早晨爬起来又改了改，写完了，也发到群里了
谢谢你哈：）加油！ 7# samehere

pennie613UID: 2733621

A53(实习还有3天结束，先把提纲都列出来，等结束一定把作业全文都补上）
[Evidence1]: a group of 25 infants who showed signs of mild distress, more likely to have been conceived in early autumn, mother’s production of melatonin in early autumn
[Evidence2]: this year more than a half of these children-now teenagers identified themselves as shy.
[Conlusion1]: increased levels of melatonin before birth during infancy causes shyness
[Conclusion2]: this shyness continues into later life

攻击[Evidence1]: 25infants样本不足；25infants没说怎么选的，有可能之前受过某种刺激；就算选的没问题，也极有可能因为是陌生人带她去试验，婴儿的正常反应
让步就算[Evidence1]成立，[Evidence1 ~ Conlusion1]也不成立: 仅凭早秋怀孕和早秋melatonin分泌多不能证明是melatonin造成害羞，post hoc，没有证据，有可能是其他hormone
让步就算[Conlusion1]成立，[Evidence2~Conclusion2]也不成立: Hasty Generalization: 也许只会影响到十几岁，成年后就无影响。没有证据说会一直延续至生命更晚的阶段


This argument is not persuasive because it harshly draws the conclusion that increased levels of melatonin before birth lead to shyness during infancy and this shyness continues into later life, just based on insufficient and dubious evidence. We cannot reach this conclusion merely by the shady research, for the arguer fails to provide more essential information concerning.

To begin with, samples for the research should be statistically reliable. While in this argument, researchers just simply studied a group of 25 infants who showed signs of mild distress. Thus in face of such limited samples, it is fallacious to draw any conclusion at all. Besides, since the arguer states that the group of 25 infants showed signs of mild distress, in general, samples for the research should be able to represent all. Yet from this argument, we find no sign of such procedures for random sampling. It is entirely possible that these infants have been victims of domestic violence which leads to their mild distress to unfamiliar stimuli.

bzr2915UID: 2612029

9# pennie613 占楼层

pennie613UID: 2733621

第五次作业A238
[Evidence]: GM has more business courses and more job counselors; 90% had job offers last year; at MV last year, only 70% who informed the placement office, full-time job, half of these were employed in their major field study.
(Deduction: GM毕业生比MV毕业生好就业)
[Conclusion]: MV must offer more courses in business and computer technology and hire additional job counselors.

攻击[Evidence]：more courses and job counselors没说多多少，70% informed调查数据不准确
就算[Evidence]成立，deduction也不成立：job offers没有具体说是何种，也许MV的70%工作环境好，拿到的工资比GM的90%拿到的多得多
就算deduction成立，[Conclusion]也不成立：学校和学校不一样，学生专长不同

bzr2915UID: 2612029

-- .. 人捏..