1006G[redemption]备考贴 by tunicate

tunicateUID: 2722773

我无奈了……电脑BUG读不了验证码，只能借别人的电脑，重新改色。argument5分和习作死活传不上邮箱……本来打算尽职尽责以组员标准要求自己跟进的，原谅我第一次作业就迟到吧，下次再也不拖到最后一刻了TOT

另外，由于错过报名时间，没有正式入组，跟组长申请过了，互拍之类会参加，也请大家多指教~

关于第一次作业的BUG，我会好好反省的【悔过ing……

tunicateUID: 2722773

[逻辑: green]
<结构:blue>
(观点:orange)
{words}


"In our time, specialists of all kinds are highly over-rated. We need more generalists — people who can provide broad perspectives."
6分
In this era of rapid social and technological change leading to increasing life complexity and psychological displacement, both positive and negative effects among persons in Western society call for a balance in which there are both specialists and generalists. <开门见山，直接点明观点——balance的思想。>(但是从后文可以看出，作者的观点虽是在generalist和specialist间寻找balance，实际却是建立在“Though specialist is elemental，the importance of generalist should especially be paid equal tribute”的基础上，即有所偏重，与题干中的specialists of all kinds are highly over-rated相照应，从而避免了Both is significant带来的观点不明 )
[先以一段叙述Specialist的重要性，一段总结，进而用三段对specialist only批驳，进而提出generalist同等重要，逻辑清晰]
Specialists are necessary in order to allow society as a whole to properly and usefully assimilate the masses of new information and knowledge that have come out of research and have been widely disseminated through mass global media. <TS，specialist is important>As the head of Pharmacology at my university once said （and I paraphrase）: "I can only research what I do because there are so many who have come before me to whom I can turn for basic knowledge. It is only because of each of the narrowly focused individuals at each step that a full and true understanding of the complexities of life can be had. Each person can only hold enough knowledge to add one small rung to the ladder, but together we can climb to the moon." <例证，and I paraphrase 保证文章严谨性，尊重了AWINTRO中的‘quoting or paraphrasing, without attribution, language or ideas that appear in published or unpublished sources’ > This<结构严谨，重申论点> illustrates the point that our societies level of knowledge and technology is at a stage in which there simply must be specialists in order for our society to take advantage of the information available to us.
Simply put, without specialists,（反证法，进一步论证specialists are necessary） our society would find itself bogged down in the Sargasso sea of information overload. {Imagery } While it was fine for early physicists to learn and understand the few laws and ideas that existed during their times, now, no one individual can possibly digest and assimilate all of the knowledge in any given area.
On the other hand, Over specialization means narrow foci in which people can lose the larger picture.<TS>( generalist重要性之一：without them, people can lose the larger picture——官评是Logical aspect) No one can hope to understand the human body by only inspecting one's own toe-nails. What we learn from a narrow focus may be internally logically coherent but may be irrelevant or fallacious within the framework of a broader perspective. Further, if we inspect only our toe-nails, we may conclude that the whole body is hard and white. {hypothetical evidence} Useful conclusions and thus perhaps useful inventions must come by sharing among specialists. Simply throwing out various discoveries means we have a pile of useless discoveries, it is only when one can make with them a mosaic that we can see that they may form a picture. (段尾再次重申generalist重要性)
Not only may over-specialization be dangerous in terms of the truth, purity and cohesion of knowledge, but it can also serve to drown moral or universal issues. <TS>( generalist重要性之二：over specialization may serve to drown moral or universal issues——官评moral aspect)
Generalists and only generalists can see a broad enough picture to realize and introduce to the world the problems of the environment. With specialization, each person focuses on their research and their goals. Thus, industrialization, expansion, and new technologies are driven ahead. Meanwhile no individual can see the holistic view of our global existence in which true advancement may mean stifling individual specialists for the greater good of all.
Finally, over-specialization in a people's daily lives and jobs has meant personal and psychological compartmentalization. <TS>( generalist重要性之三：reduce the possibilities of compartmentalization——personal aspect )People are forced into pigeon holes early in life （at least by university） and must consciously attempt to consume external forms of stimuli and information in order not to be lost in their small and isolated universe. Not only does this make for narrowly focused and generally poorly-educated individuals, but it guarantees a sense of loss of community, often followed by a feeling of psychological displacement and personal dissatisfaction.
Without generalists, society becomes inward-looking and eventually inefficient. Without a society that recognizes the importance of broad-mindedness and for sharing generalities, individuals become isolated. Thus, while our form of society necessitates specialists, generalists are equally important. Specialists drive us forward in a series of thrusts while generalists make sure we are still on the jousting field and know what the stakes are.<两个without作为transitional sentences, 是结尾段不致突兀，结尾Thus和while并列句则简短有效地总结全文论点，干脆有力 >

[
首要感想：
AWINTRO上关于issue6分和5分的要求主要体现在以下五方面

	6分	5分
1. Position	insightful	well-considered
2. easons\examples	compelling / persuasive	logically sound/ well-chosen
3. Analysis	well-focused, well-organized logically	Focused, generally well organized, appropriately
4.Expressions (Vocabulary and sentences varieties)	fluently and precisely effective vocabulary and sentence variety	clearly and well appropriate vocab ulary and sentence variety
5. Standard written English	demonstrates facility with the conventions of standard written English but may have minor errors

而这篇文章不愧是众牛人争相评论的。从结构、逻辑，到精准的用词，都有效而明确地表达了作者的主要观点。
但收获最大的反而不是6分范文而是5分的。
]

tunicateUID: 2722773

5分
Specialists are not overrated today. More generalists may be needed, but not to overshadow the specialists. <开门见山。但都是短句，明显没有6分作文impressive。>(这篇作文有意思不仅在它用词简单，句式较短，论点也较为与众不同，为反对题目观点~这或许也是高分原因之一。)Generalists can provide a great deal of information on many topics of interest with a broad range of ideas. People who look at the overall view of things can help with some of the large problems our society faces
today. But specialists are necessary to gain a better understanding of more in depth methods to solve problems or fixing things.(完全符合ETS要求，先解释generalist，区别二者，进而强调自己论点)
One good example of why specialists are not overrated is in the medical field. Doctors are necessary for people to live healthy lives. When a person is sick, he may go to a general practitioner to find out the cause of his problems. Usually, this kind of "generalized" doctor can help most ailments with simple and effective treatments. Sometimes, though, a sickness may go beyond a family doctor's knowledge or the prescribed treatments don't work the way they should. When a sickness progresses or becomes diagnosed as a disease that requires more care than a family doctor can provide, he may be referred to a specialist. For instance, a person with constant breathing problems that require hospitalization may be suggested to visit an asthma specialist. Since a family doctor has a great deal of knowledge of medicine, he can decide when his methods are not effective and the patient needs to see someone who knows more about the specific problem; someone who knows how it begins, progresses, and specified treatments. This is an excellent example of how a generalied person may not be equipped enough to handle something as well as a specialized one can. <分论点1，以医生证明自己论断 >(不仅用词遣句较为简单，论据也同样general。仅仅指出在看病中可能发生的事情，但与AWINTRO中hypothetical evidence的运用相符)

Another example of a specialist who is needed instead of a generalist involves teaching. In grammar school, children learn all the basic principles of reading, writing, and arithematic. But as children get olderand progress in school, they gain a better understanding of the language and mathematical processes. As the years in school increase, they need to learn more and more specifics and details about various subjects. They start out by learning basic math concepts such as addition, subtraction, division, and multiplication. A few years later, they are ready to begin algebraic concepts, geometry, and calculus. They are also ready to learn more advanced vocabulary, the principles of how all life is composed and how it functions. One teacher or professor can not provide as much in depth discussion on all of these topics as well as one who has learned the specifics and studied mainly to know everything that is currently known about one of these subjects. Generalized teachers are required to begin molding students at a very early age so they can get ready for the future ahead of them in gaining more facts about the basic subjects and finding out new facts on the old ones. <分论点1，以老师证明自己论断，其他和前一段基本同。 >
These are only two examples of why specialists are not highly overrated and more generalists are not necessary to the point of overshadowing them.<结尾段的强调使两个平凡的论据工作起来更加有效，直指论点。用overshadow代替overrated，一定程度上丰富了语言> Generalists are needed to give the public a broad understanding of some things. But , specialists are important to help maintain the status, health, and safety of our society. Specialists are very necessary. <最后一句似乎是在重申论点，但私以为不是十分必要……反而显出了语言的单薄>
[
首要感想：精读AWINTRO果然有用，之前没有认真看过5分文章，在看过6分文章后一直纠结与长难句、例子和词语的多样、有效性。这篇文章咋一看就是普通的四六级词汇加非实例，但由于观点明确新颖、例证有效，竟然能5分之高。庆而考前40天就发现了自己复习方向的错误……
]

tunicateUID: 2722773

昨天电脑出bug了，今天继续发~

Hospital statistics regarding people who go to the emergency room after rollerskating accidents indicate the need for more protective equipment. Within this group of people, 75 percent of those who had accidents in streets or parking lots were not wearing any protective clothing (helmets, knee pads, etc.) or any light-reflecting material (clip-on lights, glow-in-the-dark wrist pads, etc.). Clearly, these statistics indicate that by investing in high-quality protective gear and reflective equipment, roller skaters will greatly reduce their risk of being severely injured in an accident.

[逻辑: green]

<结构:blue>

(观点——针对错误:orange)

{words}

[根据AWINTRO，可能的攻击方向：

• What percentage of all roller skaters goes to the emergency room after roller skating accidents?

• Are the people who go to the emergency room after roller skating accidents representative of roller skaters in general?

• Are there people who are injured in roller skating accidents who do not go to the emergency room?(前三条攻击对象是emergency room)

• Were the roller skaters who went to the emergency room severely injured?

• Were the 25 percent of roller skaters who were wearing protective gear injured just as severely as the 75 percent who were not wearing the gear?(攻击emergency room 和severely injured间的错误关联)

• Are streets and parking lots inherently more dangerous for roller skating than other places?(对地点限制的攻击)

• Would mid-quality gear and equipment be just as effective as high-quality gear and equipment in reducing the risk of severe injury while roller skating?(针对high-quality)

• Are there factors other than gear and equipment—e.g., weather conditions, visibility, skill of theskaters—that might be more closely correlated with the risk of roller skating injuries?(直接指出还有别的因素，相当通用嘛~)

另外我觉得还有一个原因：人们不戴头盔，不一定是没有合适的，也可能是不想买，这样投资就白费了

]

6分

The notion that protective gear reduces the injuries suffered in accidents seems at first glance to be an obvious conclusion. After all, it is the intent of these products to either prevent accidents from occuring in the first place or to reduce the injuries suffered by the wearer should an accident occur. <文章首先复述题目，承认题目的合理性>However, the conclusion that investing in high quality protective gear greatly reduces the risk of being severely injured in an accident may mask other (and potentially more significant) causes of injuries and may inspire people to over invest financially and psychologically in protective gear. <进而提出题目中的不合理处，并指出可能有其他可能性>
9 D7 Y0 x1 F* a9 e6 L) p6 W9 K3 X  M$ G。
9 {$ P' p; M2 j) S2 D7 Z: z
First of all, as mentioned in the argument, there are two distinct kinds of gear -- preventative gear (such as light reflecting material) and protective gear (such as helmets). Preventative gear is intended to warn others, presumably for the most part motorists, of the presence of the roller skater. It works only if the "other" is a responsible and caring individual who will afford the skater the necessary space and attention. Protective gear is intended to reduce the effect of any accident, whether it is caused by an other, the skater or some force of nature. Protective gear does little, if anything, to prevent accidents but is presumed to reduce the injuries that occur in an accident. (个人不是很理解这个地方好在哪里，针对护具类型不同攻击可以理解，并且也是提出漏洞——对概念定义，解释漏洞——作出建议来进行的，但是有必要对不同类型护具定义如此多而细致么？)The statistics on injuries suffered by skaters would be more interesting if the skaters were grouped into those wearing no gear at all, those wearing protective gear only, those wearing preventative gear only and those wearing both. < suggestion，很符合四段式结构 >These statistics could provide skaters with a clearer understanding of which kinds of gear are more beneficial.<结构还是很合理的：questioning——other factor——improving>6

The argument above is weakened by the fact that it does not take into account the inherent differences between skaters who wear gear and those who do not.<这里开始很有逻辑的攻击，三个并列段，>(分别以人们安全意识有差别——更具体地反映在是否带护具、是否选择安全区域；受伤程度不明；没有证据表明质量好坏和事故的关系这三个分论点展开)If is at least likely that those who wear gear may be generally more responsible and/or safety conscious individuals. The skaters who wear gear may be less likely to cause accidents through careless or dangerous behavior. It may, in fact, be their natural caution and responsibility that keeps them out of the emergency room rather than the gear itself[作者逻辑：安全意识强的人配戴护具——事故减少——安全意识对事故减少可能有一定贡献，削弱论点] Also, the statistic above is based entirely on those who are skating in streets and parking lots which are relatively dangerous places to skate in the first place. People who are generally more safety conscious (and therefore more likely to wear gear) may choose to skate in safer areas such as parks or back yards. [和本段前面部分论证方法几乎一样啦]5 T" q( p( J6 p+ I
。
3 \1 O5 F4 ~% B6 L, t9 UThe statistic also goes not differentiate between severity of injuries.(对受伤程度不明攻击)The conclusion that safety gear prevents severe injuries suggests that it is presumed that people come to the emergency room only with severe injuries. This is certainly not the case. <原文无理关联——emergency room 和 severe injuries不一定对应>Also, given that skating is a recreational activity that may be primarily engaged in during evenings and weekends (when doctors' offices are closed), skater with less severe injuries may be especially likely to come to the emergency room for treatment. <进而举反例，甚至二者矛盾>
Finally, there is absolutely no evidence provided that high quality (and presumably more expensive) gear is any more beneficial than other kinds of gear.<第三步，对“护具有用”和“质量越好护具越有用”间无理推断进行否定> For example, a simple white t-shirt may provide the same preventative benefit as a higher quality, more expensive, shirt designed only for skating. Before skaters are encouraged to invest heavily in gear, a more complete understanding of the benefit provided by individual pieces of gear would be helpful.<同样提出建议>

9 v7 T# ]( x+ ]' P- X, jThe argument for safety gear based on emergency room statistics could provide important information and potentially saves lives. Before conclusions about the amount and kinds of investments that should be made in gear are reached, however, a more complete understanding of the benefits are needed. <再次重申原文，并提出其不合理性，使文章有始有终>After all, a false confidence in ineffective gear could be just as dangerous as no gear at all. <结语>

[

感想总结：其实这篇Argument耗了我很长时间……真的不是很明白在护具分类那里冗述那么多有什么意思。总觉得像Preventative gear is intended to warn others, presumably for the most part motorists, of the presence of the roller skater. It works only if the "other" is a responsible and caring individual who will afford the skater the necessary space and attention.这样的段落满可以简写为Preventative gear, which is intended to warn others of the presence of the roller skater, depends only on "other’s" responsibility and attention paid on the skater.之类的，这样足可以表达了。毕竟这只是一个错误……【个人想法……

]

The argument presented is limited but useful.<同样开门见山点明，但个人认为如果把limited和useful互换效果会更好> It indicates a possible relationship between a high percentage of accidents and a lack of protective equipment. The statistics cited compel a further investigation of the usefulness of protective gear in preventing or mitigating roller-skating related injuries. [同样的欲扬先抑，同样的However转折！] However, the conclusion that protective gear and reflective equipment would "greatly reduce risk of being severely injured" is premature. Data is lacking with reference to the total population of skaters and the relative levels of experience, skill and physical coordination of that population. <转折后接可能的原因之一，但在第一段后直接就开始抨击了，这样看来结构可能会有点乱，It is后最好单列一段并详述之>It is entirely possible that further research would indicate that most serious injury is averted by the skater's ability to react quickly and skillfully in emergency situations.

Another area of investigation necessary before conclusions can be reached is identification of the types of injuries that occur and the various causes of those injuries. <指出原因二~有点类似于6分文中对severity
的讨论>The article fails to identify the most prevalent types of roller-skating related injuries. It also fails to correlate the absence of protective gear and reflective equipment to those injuries. For example, if the majority of injuries are skin abrasions and closed-head injuries, then a case can be made for the usefulness of protective clothing mentioned. Likewise, if injuries are caused by collision with vehicles (e.g. bicycles, cars) or pedestrians, then light-reflective equipment might mitigate the occurences. However, if the primary types of injuries are soft-tissue injuries such as torn ligaments and muscles, back injuries and the like, then a greater case could be made for training and experience as preventative measures.[递进的进行分析，逻辑清晰，语言也很得当]<但是没有结尾！！结构上的不完整和随意可能是这篇文章无法满分的原因之一。>

[

感想总结：小小的抒发一下对XDF的看法，记得老师特地强调文章完整的重要性——宁可来不及论证不可不结尾重申论点，但本文可以看出，只要逻辑清晰有条理，即使不完整，也不会影响ETS打高分~~当然，没有足够的语言和逻辑能力，完整性还是蔚为重要的：>

]

tunicateUID: 2722773

然后是自己的习作~
本来是想改改发上来，结果不知不觉就变成重写了……后面小小附了下关键论据，希望对大家有所帮助：>

欢迎拍之~

I 48  The study of the history places too much emphasis on individuals. The most significant event an trends in history were made possible not by famous few, but by proups of people whose identities have long been forgotten.

From my point of view, though we must admit that the common people who're anonymous did play an unreplacable role, the importance of the few eminent person can never be overrated. For though the masses construct the history, it is those giants that create and define the current.

To discuss the issue, we must firstly recognize the fact that coincidence did sometimes shape the historical event, in which the personal experience of a certain outstanding figure related closely with the history trends. Abraham Lincoln, as the first president from the Republic Party and with little political experience, fortunately got his position owing to the intro-party conflict of Democratic Party. The coincidence, however, created a significant leader that forever changed and continues to influence the US. The study of Lincoln as both a president and a man with great enthusiasm towards his union will help a lot in understanding the America History.

The famous figures, some of which were well-known even in their own time, often met with the trend of that time. Their action and attitude represented not only their own but also people adjacent. Great scientists use method common to all, great novelist reflect the surrounding environment in their masterpiece, great businessman handle their profit in the same market with all the other, while great politician must understand the daily logic of his/her vulgar countryman. But they're also distinguished, for their insights are much further. The studies of them will not only provide common knowledge of that time but have certain provoking power, which I'll discuss later.

The significance of the leading few that are well worth highlighted is also due to their indicating power towards future. Those worthy of the title Giant are not only successors of the past, but also transitor from the history to the future adding their personal comprehension of existing facts and events. In the realms of science, Albert Einstein combined the theory of Galilei with the progresses in electrodynamics and Planck's quantum theory to create the famous special relativity theory and mass-energy equation, whose byproduct, notably the nuclear power, greatly change the ideology of science as well as the whole world. Referring to art, van Gogh's unique way of expressing feelings inevitably influence the whole art field, while in the political domain, both giants e.g. George Washington or Chairman Mao and heinous war-provoker like Adolf Hitler are worth digging if we'd like to better create out future of peace and property.

To stress the importance of the leading few, however, doesn't necessarily lead to the ignorance of the commonalty. In fact it's just the opposite. For the great lives in the society thus his/her basic ideology is in accordance with the common whole. The study of the great contributes to the study of the civilian while the later provide a general background for the former. We should figure out the inherent relation between them. This and only this can we stand still despite the current of overshadowing the giants, recognize their greatness and thus better create our own future.


Related evidence:
1. Abraham Lincoln: 著名的美国总统相必人尽皆知，然而他当选总统的过程却是意外而有趣。他的人生历程：1809年，出生在寂静的荒野上的一座简陋的小屋
　　1816年，7岁，全家被赶出居住地
　　1818年，9岁，年仅34岁的母亲不幸去世
　　1827年，18岁，自己制作了一艘摆渡船
　　1831年，22岁，经商失败
　　1832年，23岁，竞选州议员，但落选了，想进法学院学法律，但进不去
　　1833年，24岁，向朋友借钱经商，年底破产；接下来花了16年，才把这笔钱还清
　　1834年，25岁，再次竞选州议员，当选
　　1835年，26岁，订婚后即将结婚时，未婚妻病逝
1836年，27岁，精神完全崩溃，卧病在床6个月
　　1838年，29岁，努力争取成为州议员的发言人，没有成功
　　1840年，31岁，争取成为被选举人，落选了
　　1843年，34岁，参加国会大选，又落选了
　　1846年，37岁，再次参加国会大选，这次当选了
　　1848年，39岁，寻求国会议员连任，失败了
　　1849年，40岁，想在自己州内担任土地局长，被拒绝了
　　1854年，45岁，竞选参议员，落选了
　　1856年，47岁，在共和党的全国代表大会上争取副总统的提名得票不到100张
　　1858年，49岁，再度参选参议员，再度落选
　　1860年，51岁，当选美国总统
　　1864年，55岁，连任美国总统，北方军取得胜利
1865年，56岁，内战结束光明正大地被枪杀在剧场
常被用于失败成功之类的话题，但是有心的人会注意到，在美国，一个没有从过参议员、副总统、国务卿等职的人想要就选总统是几乎不可能的——Lincoln的胜利几乎全部归因于民主党的内部分裂，这件事不仅可以证明coincidence的存在，在Issue89中也可用到~林肯登上总统宝座虽是意外，做出成就却决定于他自己：>

2. Albert Einstein——非理科生提到科学类文章时最想到的几人之一，现在对文中的概念简单解释下： the theory of Galilei 伽利略变换 progresses in electrodynamics电动力学进展——主要指麦克斯韦理论 Planck's quantum theory普朗克量子论special relativity theory 狭义相对论mass-energy equation 质能方程，造原子弹那个~
如果仔细的看会发现，Einstein的成就很大程度上可以用牛顿If I can see a bit farther than some others, it is because I am standing on the shoulders of giants.这句话概括——伟人很大程度上就在于从过去中读出了未来，进而引领了未来，这在很多关于伟人的Issue中都可以用：>

3. 其他的比如华盛顿、毛主席、希特勒、梵高之类就不用说了吧……

tunicateUID: 2722773

惨了看了Argument分析部分显然我的电脑依然BUG中ToT……明明调好色了的……

tunicateUID: 2722773

好像不小心写的是二组的，管他呢~总之每天写够作业量~~
旁听生就这点好：>

130."How children are socialized today determines the destiny of society. Unfortunately, we have not yet learned how to raise children who can help bring about a better society." （教育类）
130． 孩子们的社会化决定着社会的命运。不幸的是，我们还不知道怎样抚养孩子才能使他们对将来的社会有用。
立意：Modest degree of socialization contributes to the society while over-socialization is baneful.Thus the way to tutor children with the skill of interpeersonal interaction is important.
提纲：
1.同立意——Modern society calls for that
2.Modest degree of socialization of the children对社会的好处
  1）孩子决定国家未来,当今社会需要人际交往能力
  2）个例，不善交往但出色的人，反驳3
3.过度——尤其是青少年过度交往的弊端;相关教育的重要性
4.结尾，重申论点


With the development of hi-tech communication tools such as computers and cell phones, as well as the ongoing complexity of both social and scholastic issues, communication skill gradually becomes a must for nearly everyone in the world. Furthermore, so long as children represent the future current, there's almost no danger of arriving at the conclusion that the socialization stage of children more or less shapes the destiny of their society, which I'll further discuss.

First of all, in order to better analysing the topic, it's necessary to clarify the conception of socialization, which suggests the involvement of each person as members of a society and the complex relation between each individual. Socialization plays an important role in the development of a society for the complexity of demanded works and requested skills is unprecedented. When you're placed with a task that you've never handled before, the quickest way to find an approach to it is to search help from other-either through the Internet or face to face. And such communication skill cannot be obtained overnight. It must be learned from an early age, notably our childhood. So I consider it a necessary that an earlier education of social communication competence should be obtained for it indeed crucial for the future of our society.

Someone may argue that there exists the case that people with poor social skill achieve greatly in their field. They may state that some historical figures such as Albert Einstein and Gregor J Mendel lived far from community with highly-valued scientific accomplishment. But their standing is weak for at least three main reasons. First, the figure they suggest as examples lived in the past with less social acquisition, and we're here to discuss the present and the future. Both the science itself and the way people viewing it changed much over the year thus reducing the persuading power of such examples. Secondly, the examples themselves are suspectable. As we know, the two giants of biology, Darwin and Mendel, lived in the same era and each of them made an important discovery about evolution and heredity. Because of the poor socialization standard of that time, these two eminent figures ignored each other. Thus, the world had to wait nearly more than a century for the principle of heredity. Not to say that the destiny of a society depends on the vast citizens instead of the famous few.

To highlight the importance of socialization doesn't mean that we shall place social activities higher than anything else，for over-socialized children may lack the ability of solving problems on their own. And here, education plays its role. The degree of social communication should be restricted in a modest sphere, and education must be obtained to acquaint the children with the limitation of socialization. Those who are raising or preparing to raise a child must keep it in mind and that may be the best way to prepare talents for the future(其实这里想用“栋梁”，ridge之类，但是不知道是否Chinglish……)

To summarize my argument, I will again stress the pushing role of socialization among children. Socialized and only socialized children can be better prepared for the complexity of the coming future .On the other hand, education is dreadfully needed to limit over-socialized. Only when these are fully obtained can we say that our society and the new generation is prepared for a better future.

bzr2915UID: 2612029

130."How children are socialized today determines the destiny of society. Unfortunately, we have not yet learned how to raise children who can help bring about a better society." （教育类）
130． 孩子们的社会化决定着社会的命运。不幸的是，我们还不知道怎样抚养孩子才能使他们对将来的社会有用。
立意：Modest degree of socialization contributes to the society while over-socialization is baneful.Thus the way to tutor children with the skill of interpeersonal interaction is important.
提纲：
1.同立意——Modern society calls for that
2.Modest degree of socialization of the children对社会的好处
  1）孩子决定国家未来,当今社会需要人际交往能力
  2）个例，不善交往但出色的人，反驳3
3.过度——尤其是青少年过度交往的弊端;相关教育的重要性
4.结尾，重申论点
(这里原观点有两部分:1、孩子的社会化决定着社会的命运 2、我们还没学会如何教育孩子才能使他们对社会有用 从你的立意来看只讨论了一个方面：适度的社会化是有好处的 过度有害处。 而对到底会不会教育孩子没有进行讨论，虽然后面谈到了对青少年过度交往方面的教育，感觉面有点窄好像依然是社会化下个一个分论点，第二部分的重点应该是如何教育孩子或者说是否会教育孩子）


With the development of hi-tech communication tools such as computers and cell phones, as well as the ongoing complexity of both social and scholastic issues, communication skill gradually becomes a must for nearly everyone in the world. Furthermore, so long as children represent the future current, there's almost no danger of arriving at the conclusion that the socialization stage of children more or less shapes the destiny of their society, which I'll further discuss

First of all, in order to better analysing the topic,（这是啥结构，better是动词？） it's necessary to clarify the conception of socialization, which suggests the involvement of each person as members of a society and the complex relation between each individual. （定义下的好）Socialization plays an important role in the development of a society for the complexity of demanded works and requested skills is unprecedented. （表原因的？有点绕，怎么skills后面是单数is？）When you're placed with a task that you've never handled before, the quickest way to find an approach to it is to search help from other-either through the Internet or face to face. And such communication skill cannot be obtained overnight. It must be learned from an early age, notably our childhood.（这里的表达有问题） So I consider it a necessary （it a？）that an earlier education of social communication competence should be obtained for it indeed crucial for the future of our society.

Someone may argue that there exists the case that people with poor social skill achieve greatly in their field. They may state that some historical figures such as Albert Einstein and Gregor J Mendel lived far from community with highly-valued scientific accomplishment. But their standing is weak for at least three main reasons. First, the figure（复数） they suggest as examples lived in the past with less social acquisition, and we're here to discuss the present and the future. Both the science itself and the way people viewing it changed much over the year thus reducing the persuading power（削弱说服力Undermine persuasive） of such examples. Secondly, the examples themselves are suspectable. As we know, the two giants of biology, Darwin and Mendel, lived in the same era and each of them made an important discovery about evolution and heredity. Because of the poor socialization standard of that time, these two eminent figures ignored each other. Thus, the world had to wait nearly more than a century for the principle of heredity. Not to say （更不用说？不如说？...这个地方不理解）that the destiny of a society depends on the vast citizens instead of the famous few.

To highlight the importance of socialization doesn't mean that we shall place social activities higher than anything else，for over-socialized children may lack the ability of solving problems on their own. And here, education plays its role. The degree of social communication should be restricted in a modest sphere, and education must be obtained to acquaint the children with the limitation of socialization. Those who are raising or preparing to raise a child must keep it in mind and that may be the best way to prepare talents for the future(其实这里想用“栋梁”，ridge之类，但是不知道是否Chinglish……)（The pillars of talented栋梁之才）

To summarize my argument, I will again stress（中式英语） the pushing role of socialization among children. Socialized and only socialized children can be better prepared for the complexity of the coming future .On the other hand, education is dreadfully needed to limit over-socialized. Only when these are fully obtained can we say that our society and the new generation is prepared for a better future.


长句字有点多了，看的有点累，长短句结合。语言方面很多地方有中式英语的味道，相同的意思不要重复简练一点。文章总体结构不错。加油~一起努力~

tunicateUID: 2722773

大谢~
顺带我刚拍你的Argument，一定要记得word检查错字呐》U《

以后有argument都来找我吧~
8# bzr2915

bzr2915UID: 2612029

9# tunicate 没问题 以后你的只要发了我就拍 我是第二组的组长 不如你以后做第二组的题目吧 我们进度好控制~
那个用抗生素排除二次感染的攻击段现在来看确实有点牵强~~·
拍的烂 别骂我哈~
THX

tunicateUID: 2722773

28. "Students should memorize facts only after they have studied the ideas, trends, and concepts that help explain those facts. Students who have learned only facts have learned very little."


提纲：
1、虽然结果重要，更重要的是过程
2、过程重要的原因之一是它与科学研究的方法论相统一——不会方法的人在情况稍有变化是就会停滞不前。
3、过程重要的原因二是它与逻辑性思维相关
4、强调过程并不意味着疏于对事实的重视——二者是互相补充的
  1）过程帮助我们记住结果（Galilei 的free-falling实验让我们更易记清自由落体定理）
  2）结果启发更多过程
5、结尾：复述一遍——结果和过程间的平衡需要注意，过程的重要性值得强调。过程在科研和逻辑思维中尤其重要。

Thought it is undeniable the a good knowledge of the existing conclusion as well contributes to our daily study, it's generally more important to guide them ideas associate it as there goes the famous Chinese proverbs, as well as its synonymous expressions from different culture, 'delegated to fish, it's better to be delegated by fisheries', which implies that an introduction to a skill or an idea is far more important than simply tutoring the fact.

The introduction of the ideas, trend, and concept is of vital value partly because it meets the motivation and method of science. Science, with its realms expending to all research aspect, exits in order to explain the inherent relation between superficial phenomenons, thus it calls for cogent thoughts and systematic methods which help in explaining the phenomenons. For instance, if you know only the basic character of a certain chemical, it will help little in the further research .But so long as you're acquainted with the whole procedure towards the reveal of such chemical, there lies in the future endless opportunities of discovering new chemicals and even unveiling of groundbreaking inventions. Those remembering only facts will find them stuck with a slight shift of related factors thus become unable to continue the research while those equipped with the skill of analysis can go further.

That the significance of tutoring the process leading to the fact should be highlighted also due to its correlation with the dreadfully needed skill known as logical thinking. Honored with the ability of thinking rationally, whenever a fact is pre-discussed, we're forced to ask these questions, 'what's the direct cause of such facts? What's the relationship between such cause and existing conclusions? How did others design and operate experiments that unveil it?-And further, how can it contribute to my future study?' Among those questions, the first few ones can be obtained through learning the ideas and trends while the last one is derived from that.

To emphasize the importance of tutoring the ideas, however, doesn't necessarily relate to the ignorance of the facts. In fact, such emphasis helps when we're memorizing the conclusion. An isolated fact may be hard to memorized, but with the help of the associating ideas, trend and concepts, the learning procedure can be easier, just as the principle of free-falling is easy to remember with the experiment generated by Galilei on The Leaning Tower of Pisa. The facts, on the other hand, provoke more ideas and concepts that may be connected to them. So long as the two are highly associated to each other, it's crucial for us to keep the balance in mind even our emphasis is lay on the procedure related.

In a word, the importance of the allied concepts should be highlighted while a balance between facts and ideas is called to be obtained, for the associated ideas not only meet the need of science but also relate to logical thinking. This and only in this way can we make the learning process efficient and well-harvesting.

【有件事比较囧……全文只用了一个例子……】

bzr2915UID: 2612029

28. "Students should memorize facts only after they have studied the ideas, trends, and concepts that help explain those facts. Students who have learned only facts have learned very little."

学生们在记忆知识的时候应该先学习有助于解释那些知识的理念，潮流和概念....

错误（个人感觉）
我的看法
提纲：
1、虽然结果重要，更重要的是过程
2、过程重要的原因之一是它与科学研究的方法论相统一——不会方法的人在情况稍有变化是就会停滞不前。
3、过程重要的原因二是它与逻辑性思维相关
4、强调过程并不意味着疏于对事实的重视——二者是互相补充的
  1）过程帮助我们记住结果（Galilei 的free-falling实验让我们更易记清自由落体定理）
  2）结果启发更多过程
5、结尾：复述一遍——结果和过程间的平衡需要注意，过程的重要性值得强调。过程在科研和逻辑思维中尤其重要。

怎么感觉跑题了这里应该不是过程与结果之间的关系，这里的fact应该理解为“知识”吧？包括事实，也包括一些抽象的东西。题目是不是说，学生在记忆东西的之前，应该现很好的理解它，然后才能真正掌握它。是两种学习方法的对立：机械记忆和理解记忆；表面记忆和深层次的理解；孤立的掌握知识和全面的、整体的掌握知识。

Thought it is undeniable the a good knowledge of the existing conclusion as well contributes to our daily study, it's generally more important to guide them ideas associate it as there goes the famous Chinese proverbs, as well as its synonymous expressions from different culture, 'delegated to fish, it's better to be delegated by fisheries', which implies that an introduction to a skill or an idea is far more important than simply tutoring the fact.

The introduction of the ideas, trend, and concept is of vital value partly because it meets the motivation and method of science. Science, with its realms expending to all research aspect, exits in order to explain the inherent relation between superficial phenomenons, thus it calls for cogent thoughts and systematic methods which help in explaining the phenomenons. For instance, if you know only the basic character of a certain chemical, it will help little in the further research .But so long as you're acquainted with the whole procedure towards the reveal of such chemical, there lies in the future endless opportunities of discovering new chemicals and even unveiling of groundbreaking inventions. Those remembering only facts will find them stuck with a slight shift of related factors thus become unable to continue the research while those equipped with the skill of analysis can go further.

That the significance of tutoring the process leading to the fact should be highlighted also due to its correlation with the dreadfully needed skill known as logical thinking. Honored with the ability of thinking rationally, whenever a fact is pre-discussed, we're forced to ask these questions, 'what's the direct cause of such facts? What's the relationship between such cause and existing conclusions? How did others design and operate experiments that unveil it?-And further, how can it contribute to my future study?' Among those questions, the first few ones can be obtained through learning the ideas and trends while the last one is derived from that.

To emphasize the importance of tutoring the ideas, however, doesn't necessarily relate to the ignorance of the facts. In fact, such emphasis helps when we're memorizing the conclusion. An isolated fact may be hard to memorized, but with the help of the associating ideas, trend and concepts, the learning procedure can be easier, just as the principle of free-falling is easy to remember with the experiment generated by Galilei on The Leaning Tower of Pisa. The facts, on the other hand, provoke more ideas and concepts that may be connected to them. So long as the two are highly associated to each other, it's crucial for us to keep the balance in mind even our emphasis is lay on the procedure related.

In a word, the importance of the allied concepts should be highlighted while a balance between facts and ideas is called to be obtained, for the associated ideas not only meet the need of science but also relate to logical thinking. This and only in this way can we make the learning process efficient and well-harvesting.

tunicateUID: 2722773

12# bzr2915

酱紫呐。。。我以为fact是事实，而idea就是得到事实的相关过程。。
回头再修改下~

A 45的链接放在下面，I 212大概得得等到明天了。。。
父母那里有应酬的事，抱歉撒~

https://bbs.gter.net/thread-1055976-1-1.html

tunicateUID: 2722773

A 51
TOPIC: ARGUMENT51 - The following appeared in a medical newsletter.

"Doctors have long suspected that secondary infections may keep some patients from healing quickly after severe muscle strain. This hypothesis has now been proved by preliminary results of a study of two groups of patients. The first group of patients, all being treated for muscle injuries by Dr. Newland, a doctor who specializes in sports medicine, took antibiotics regularly throughout their treatment. Their recuperation time was, on average, 40 percent quicker than typically expected. Patients in the second group, all being treated by Dr. Alton, a general physician, were given sugar pills, although the patients believed they were taking antibiotics. Their average recuperation time was not significantly reduced. Therefore, all patients who are diagnosed with muscle strain would be well advised to take antibiotics as part of their treatment."
WORDS: 522
TIME: 00:45:00
DATE: 2010/1/31 12:19:00

提纲：
   1.No Reliable Presupposition
     =>Are the examinee suffering from second infection?
     =>what's the effect of the antibiotics?
   2.less rigorous study
     =>No data provided about the testees—Are they in the same condition?
     =>Doctors' different skill
     =>sugar pills != placebo




By studying two group of patients who were suffered by muscle injuries and accepted treatment by two different doctors with different treating method and observing a quicker recovery in the group that accepted antibiotics, the author draw a hasty conclusion that secondary infection is one obstacle that prevents the patients from recovering and suggests all patients with muscle strain take antibiotics as part of their treatment.

The assumption, though sounds logical at the first sight, are in fact an unfound one. For not only the evidence provided is suspicious, the presupposition itself is dubious to some degree. It is supposed in the argument that all the patients included in the experiment suffered from a secondary infection, while this might not be the case. Secondary infection might occur on some of whom involved in the study, but the exact number and its distribution remained unknown. It is well possible that a great number of patients involved in the second group experienced secondary infection while only a small amount of those in the first group suffered. On this condition, the conclusion is not so safely to be arrived at. Additionally, the effect of the antibiotics used in the study is also suspicious. How can the mayor justify that it did help in reducing the secondary infection? Further evidences and supports will be needed if the author hope to strengthen his/her argument.

Even if we admit the precondition, the study, in itself, is not sufficient to substantiate the argument.
By studying patients in two groups, the arguer had hoped to analyze the issue in a dialectical way. However, no evidence demonstrated that the patients treated are in the same condition. If the first group contained those professional athletes that were stronger to those in Group Two, it may due to their own recovery abilities that they experienced a quicker recovery. The difference in doctors, on the other hand, played a vital role in his patients’ recovery, too. While the first group was treated by a doctor who specializes in sports medicine, there's no doubt that their recovery were easier for the doctor known exactly what a patient suffered from muscle strain needed.
The second group, however, receive their treatment from a general physician, who might lack the necessary background of specialized treatment on people with sport-related injury.
Besides, the sugar pills which the second group of patients accepted were also dubious. There's no trustable support to show that the pills, though supposed to be placebos, didn't have other side-effects on the patients.

All in all, as discussed above, the statement omits some substantial concerns that should have been addressed. To further develop the analysis, the mayor had better certify his/her presupposition that the patients being treated are indeed suffered from a secondary infection. In addition, the perspective performance of the antibiotics should be included as well. To make the study involved more persuading, it' better for the arguer to select patients of the same condition as well as receive treatment from the same doctor. Therefore, if the argument included the assumed factors listed above, it would have been a more insightful and logical acceptable one.

tunicateUID: 2722773

A 53
提纲：
1、melatonin与婴儿害羞间关系不充分
     1）melatonin作用（秋季可能其他因素也有作用）和作用对象不明（affect some brain functions——mother or children？）
     2）sensitive to stimulation！=shy(reflexbooted)
2、没有提供有关这些孩子在这十几年里的生活环境的资料，延续性证据不足。更何况25个婴儿不足以说明。

By studying a group of 25 infants and their later lives, the arguer intends to reveal the relationship between a child's shyness and a certain kind of hormone called melatonion and its constancy. He/She found that infants who were sensitive to stimulation were likely to be conceived in early autumn when the production of melatonion increased and 13 years later most of those subjects were shy person. The author then concluded that shyness during infancy dues to an increased level of melatonion, and it continues into later life. However, though sounds logical, the statement is an unwarranted one both in its assumption and its evidences.

First of all, the assumption fails to be a solid one because it build up a fallacious relation between melatonin and infants' shyness. Though metalonin is known to affect some brain functions, the author fails to provide further information about it. What's its operating subject? Does it works on infants or their pregnant mothers? If it affects the mother, then the somatic condition of each mother should be taken into concern when conducting the study. What does the hormone associate with? Are there other hormones whose levels are also controlled by the change of season? If so, the melatonin may only serve as an additional sub-factor in determining one's shyness. Secondly, though the infants included in the study showed signs of mild distress to unfamiliar stimuli, there's no necessarily correlation between such action and shyness, for sensitiveness to stimulation can be considered a sign of boost reflex, indicating that the infants fit better to the outside ambiences.

Furthermore, admitting that metalonin does affect infants' brain functions and may even leads to their shyness, it is still too hasty to arrive at the conclusion that this tendency is likely to continue into their later lives, for the study involved as supports lacks sufficient description of these infants surroundings in which they were brought up. It is well possible that the ways infants are brought up also affects their characteristics. For instance, if the parents of the tested child were inferred of their baby's potential shyness, they may more or less dropped a hint on their child that he/she should be described as "shy" when he/she was raised up. Thus, even the original character of the child might be out-going, he/she was likely to develop into a shy person as what he/she had been expected. In addition, a child lacked of parents' love is likely to form the characteristic of introverted. So without an indispensable control of how the infants were raised, it is unwarranted to form such a conclusion of constancy. Besides, 25 infants is far too few to support an invulnerable study.

All in all, as was analyzed above, though the argument appears to be somewhat convincing at the first glance, there're several shortcomings that fails to substantiate this statement. The assumption that a rising level of melatonin leads to an infant's shyness is dubious because it fails to rule out other factors and is unable to certify the subject of this hormone. The study conducted to substantiate the assumption is also suspicious due to its lack of control over the infants’ later lives as well as the sample grosses. Only when the arguer provides a clear statistics about melatonin, samples a sufficient number of infants of the same condition in the study, and tracts how they're brought up can he/she construct an insightful and logically accepted argument.

【红色是华丽丽地错别字TOT。。。没有计时】