1.26 Argument147 (332) 达人第六次作业

daidarenUID: 2354215

TOPIC: ARGUMENT147 - The following appeared in an editorial in a business magazine.

"Although the sales of Whirlwind video games have declined over the past two years, a recent survey of video-game players suggests that this sales trend is about to be reversed. The survey asked video-game players what features they thought were most important in a video game. According to the survey, players prefer games that provide lifelike graphics, which require the most up-to-date computers. Whirlwind has just introduced several such games with an extensive advertising campaign directed at people 10 to 25 years old, the age-group most likely to play video games. It follows, then, that the sales of Whirlwind video games are likely to increase dramatically in the next few months."
WORDS: 332
TIME: 00:30:00+
DATE: 2010-1-26 17:59:16

1.调查有问题，喜欢不一定买，而且影响sales的因素还有很多。
2.证据不足以证明10-25岁的是购买主力，而且他们没收入很可能买不起，
3.结论太草率，还有很多因素能影响sales。

In this argument, the author comes to the conclusion that the sale of Whirlwind (W) would increase dramatically in the next few months since W has just introduced several games that was reported as the most favorite game among the age-group of 10 to 25 who, they thought, are most likely to play video game. But I find it problematic in several respects.

First and foremost, the survey that W present just shows told us that people like the games are lifelike graphics, but it does not equal to buying them, it is possible that people just want watch the feature of it but would not buy it. Actually, there are a lot of respects that determines what would players purchase, such as themes of the game, music in the game and so on. What’s more, as it requires the most up-to-date computers, maybe seldom players could afford it, and if it is the truth, there will certainly be no increase of sales.

Secondly, the author presents no evidence to show that the age-group of 10 to 25 are most likely to buy the game, but he provides no evidence to strengthen it, and even though they are, it is possible that what W sales are not what they like since the survey may not conducted to them. And there is also a possibility that they have not enough money to buy these productions since most of them maybe students, or other unwaged.

Last but not least, the author's conclusion commits a fallacy of hasty generalization since the author did not take other situations that may be reasonable into consideration, economic depression, new productions of other companies, etc. would all have influence on the sales of W, without evaluating these factors, and the author could have no conclusion.

In sum, this argument is not persuasive as it stands. To make it more convincing, the author should provide more evidence concerning the survey, the advertising and those factors that would affect the sales.

Lisa-yuanUID: 2748489

评论：分析很准确，到位。唯一的缺点是字数偏少。能否加点具体的例子说明一下？
但是能在30分钟内完成这样一篇文章，可以看出作者有很强的问题分析能力。再继续练习，能把字数提高到450左右，那就很好了。没有语法错误，而且句式变化较多，是一篇不错的文章。