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[活动] 1.28号作文 [复制链接]

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发表于 2010-1-27 21:53:21 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览
The telephone has a greater effect on people's lives than the television do

Nowadays, there is a debate on whether the telephone or television has a greater effect on people's lives, and different people have different views. As for me I aggree that the telephone has a greater effect on people's lives than the television for the following reasons.

For one thing, after the telephone has been invented, advances in telephone  technology made it possible for people to contact with people when they were not together. We can talk with our friends or famliies on the telephone instead of writing a many words' letter to them and waiting for several days to receive the reply. In modern society most young people are always going into the raptures in the mere mention of the telephone. They can communicate with any people whenever and wherever they are.

Besides,with the development of the society, the technology continues to progress. I can use the telephone to surf on line and watch TV. It is generally accepted that it can entirely replace the role of television,and I can sereach the information I needed through the telephone. It slao has the function of music recorder, I can listen to music when I was tired by the day work and it is a wonderful thing for us. So from what I have metioned above, we may draw the conclusion that the effects the telephone has far outweigh the television do.

In summarize, the telephone has a greater effect on people's lives than the television do in the following points. First, telephone make it possible for people to contact with eachother when they are not together. Second, many new technologies used in telephone has made it have more functions such as listerning to music, surfing on-line, and watching TV. So sometimes I can't think what my life will be if without telephone!
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发表于 2010-1-30 09:03:37 |只看该作者
Nowadays, there is a debate on whether the telephone or television has a greater effect on people's lives, and different people have different views. As for me I aggree that the telephone has a greater effect on people's lives than the television for the following reasons(这样的开头没错,可批改的老师应该看过千千万万这样的句式了,我们是不是应该尝试让人耳目一新的属于自己的模板?这是个我们共同的问题).


K5 u! I0 ~" m
For one thing, after the telephone has been invented, advances in telephone  technology made it possible for people to contact with people
each other when they were not together(动词用一般词态就行了吧). We can talk with our friends or famliies on the telephone instead of writing a many (修饰words 还是letter?words' letter to them and waiting for several days to receive() the reply. In modern society most young people are always going into the raptures in the mere mention of the telephone(这句如果作为阅读插入题,打死我也不知道会放在这里,上下文没找到关联点,意思有点牵强。). They can communicate with any people whenever and wherever they are.

Besides,with the development of the society, the technology continues to progress. I can use the telephone to surf on linesurf internet and watch TV. It is generally accepted that it can entirely replace the role of televisionand I can sereach the information I needed through the telephone. It slao has the function of music recorder, I can listen to music when I was tired by the day work and it is a wonderful thing for us. So from what I have metioned above, we may draw the conclusion that the effects the telephone has far outweigh the television do(以上的论证得出这句结论确实使人难以信服).4 K9 ]. f; R" d

In summarize, the telephone has a greater effect on people's lives than the television do in the following points. First, telephone make it possible for people to contact with each other when they are not together. Second, many new technologies used in telephone has made it have more functions such as listerning to music, surfing on-line, and watching TV
用几乎一样的词语句式复述前面已提到的理由显然向考官证明了自己语言的贫乏 }. So sometimes I can't thinkimage what my life will be if without telephone!

总:应该是在规定时间内完成的吧?这种情况下我自己的问题也多多,论述不严密,理由牵强,只是为了尽快填满框架写完,而忽视了质量。这样的练习给了我们好处——在规定时间内动用平时积累实现语言语句结构的完美修饰——把一个问题说清。一起加油!
彼此的意见彼此只做参考,有理改之,无则加勉。

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