Argument238,有拍必回，拍死有奖

落雪飞花2008UID: 2579536

TOPIC: ARGUMENT238 - The following appeared in a memorandum from the president of Mira Vista College to the college's board of trustees.

"At nearby Green Mountain College, which has more business courses and more job counselors than does Mira Vista College, 90 percent of last year's graduating seniors had job offers from prospective employers. But at Mira Vista College last year, only 70 percent of the seniors who informed the placement office that they would be seeking employment had found full-time jobs within three months after graduation, and only half of these graduates were employed in their major field of study. To help Mira Vista's graduates find employment, we must offer more courses in business and computer technology and hire additional job counselors to help students with their resumés and interviewing skills."
WORDS: 220
TIME: 00:45:00
DATE: 2010-1-28 下午 03:58:08

In this argument, the author suggests Mira Vista College(MVC) that more courses in business and computer technology, as well as job counselors should be offerd to help students enhance their ability to find a job. The argument seems to be sound and logical, however, it suffers several critical flaws.


First, the arguer's assumption that the employment climate in Mira Vista College is worrying and somber, in fact, is gratuitous. We are informed that only 70% of students ,who have planned to hunt for job ,succeeded in finding full-time jobs within three months after graduation; but it does not means that the rest 30% were still fighting their way in the severe empolyment market. It is possible that after a secondary thought, some of the students believe that a higher diploma will guarantee them a more brilliant future,so they turn to go on the graduate study. Or if they determine to establish their own company and are ready to become a successful businessman, the statistic of 70% will also be invalid. As for the work field, maybe the students who are not employed in their major field are more satisfied with their job than those who are.Without all these possibilities ruled out, it is difficult to convince us that the employment rate of Mira Vista College needs to be improved.

Even though we concede that some measures are really required to raise the employment rate of MVC , it is doubtful that the action of Green Mountain College(GMC) deserves learning. What’s about the 90% record? Are the students delievering the menu or washing the dishes in a restaurant? If so,how can we believe that more courses in business and computer technologh , together with the job counselors will reverse MVC’s employment situation? Therefore, a further study about the employment evaluation of GMC is needed to dicide whether MVC should carry out the action of GMC.

Granted that the measure of GMC is successful, it maybe not appropriate to apply it on MVC mechanically. Perhaps the employees reject the students in MVC not because their poor knowledge of business and computer technology or their awful resume but because their poor academic performance of their major. If so, what the MVC should do is to reform the teaching method, to make the classes encouraging , inspiring and challenging,to make the students innovative, initiative and passionate.Therefore, a survey about why the meployment rate of MVC is low will help the president make clear what measure he or she should conduct.

To sum up, before any decision is made, much more work is needed in order to provide comprehensive information for the president.
求教：
我的BF建议把最后一个论证加强并放在前面，因为他感觉着个错误比较重要但是我的论证顺序是
1.学校的就业率不一定低~~~~
2，就算就业率低需要改善，那另外一个学校的经验不一定是成功的值得借鉴的
3‘就算是成功的经验，那也不一定适合该校
如果该了顺序，那我原来那种一步步走下来的逻辑就没有啦
问改怎么办？