issue104 【clover】第一次小组作业 by 桔子susan 已改

桔子susanUID: 2754084

从下午忙到晚上，饭都没吃，终于把第一篇issue给弄出来了，写的挺少，不足之处很多，请拍，我会慢慢改进

104.It is primarily through formal education that a culture tries to perpetuate the ideas it favors and discredit the ideas it fears.


The viewpoint state that a culture perpetuates it favors and discredit the ideas it fearsthrough formal education. I would agree with the author in some aspect,but consider the shortcoming of this knd of education and other means which a culture pass down from one generation to another.

Formal education indeed makes much contribution to the perpetuation of culture. As we know,formal education could defined as a hierarchically structured education system linked with schools and training institutions. It provides general academic studies and a variety of specialised programes for people from all kinds of age. Majority of people can learn the achievements of our ancestor and some quintessence of culture,especially when we take certian of courses as history and literature. Furthermore,the essence of education is to pass down our idea and achievement to another generation, so does the formal education.

Yet,only tie to formal education could not make a culture achieves these ends,for its limited function and people's neglect. First of all,the society make a progress all the time.Formal education cannot cast off the influnce of goverment and society. Therefore, new voice may not allowed to spread in the system.As an result,some deas which the majority favor cannot pass down to another genertion. In the settlement,the local culture is hard to preserve. In addtion, nowadays, more and more people choose to recieve formal education, mainly because it can provide them a better future and satisfy their emotion of interest. When we choose a main subject or an university,we consider more about the future and our interests.Thus,we could ignored to experience the culture which around us. What we think is ordinary may be leave aside until we find it has gone for ever.Nor the education systerm pay enough attention to ask us to value our culture, as more and more business and engineering courses are opened, only because it's profitable.

Meanwhlie, to perpetuate a culture, prevalent of the culture and innovation are needed. Non-formal education, such as international communcation, religion, custome in daily life can make up the shortage . Media offer us a way to widen our horizons and spread our idea from one to another, so does religion and custome.We learn from the ancestor, on Thanksgiving Day, we gathered together,give our thanks to another.Consequently, we perpetuate our favorable ideas in daily life.The non-formal education is related to the concepts of recurrent and lifelong learning.We can freely choose the idea which we want to pass down to another.

In conclusion,formal education could not be the primarily way to make our favourable culture to be reserved. Only through both formal and non-formal education,can a culture perpetuate the ideas it favors and discredit the ideas it fears. Overall education makes a better choice.

桔子susanUID: 2754084

wcnk同学的修改
The viewpoint states that a culture perpetuates it favors and discredit the ideas it fears through formal education. I would agree with the author in some aspect, but consider the shortcoming of this kind of education and other means which a culture passes down from one generation to another.
陈述作者观点+立场（部分同意）


Formal education indeed makes much contribution to the perpetuation of culture. As we know, formal education could be defined as a hierarchically structured (等级制的？) education system linked with schools and training institutions. It provides general academic studies and a variety of specialized programes for people range from all kinds of age（各种各样的年龄? Range in different age）. Majority of people can learn the achievements of (from) our ancestor and some quintessence of culture, especially when we take certain of courses as history and literature. Furthermore, the essence of education is to pass down our idea and achievement to another generation, so does the formal education.
（教育的重点就是传承思想）


Yet, only tie to formal education could not make a culture achieves these ends, for its limited function and people's neglect. First of all, the society makes a progress all the time. Formal education cannot cast off the influence of government and society. Therefore, new voice may not be allowed to spread in the system. As an result, some ideas which the majority favors（majority 是集体名词） cannot pass down to another generation. In the settlement, the local culture is hard to preserve. In addition, nowadays, more and more people choose to receive formal education, mainly because it can provide them a better future and satisfy their emotion of interest. When we choose a main subject or an university, we consider more about the future and our interests. Thus, we could(may) ignored (vt.) to experience (experiencing) the culture which around us. What we think is ordinary may be leave (left) aside until we find it has gone forever. Nor the education system pay enough attention to ask us to value our culture , (不要“，”吧)as more and more business and engineering courses are opened, only because it's profitable.
（反对Formal Education，1.社会在发展，正统教育可能跟不上；2.很多人选择正统教育并不为了传递思想）
意见：1.应该分两段分别写两个问题；2. 主语不应该换成个人（针对第二个论点）


Meanwhile, to perpetuate a culture, prevalent (adj. 流行的；流行的文化？语法意思都不通) of the culture and innovation are needed. Non-formal education, such as international communication, religion, custom in daily life can make up the shortage. Media offer us a way to widen our horizons and spread our ideas from one to another, so does religion and custom（这两个我看来是和media并列，不是和ideas）. We learn from the ancestor, on Thanksgiving Day, we gathered together, give our thanks to another. Consequently, we
（不应该是文化吗？怎么主语变成we了？） perpetuate our favorable ideas in daily life. The non-formal education is related to the concepts of recurrent and lifelong learning. We
（问题同上）can freely choose the idea which we want to pass down to another.
（非正统教育的好处，重要性）
问题：主题句和论证不是很切合；thanksgiving的例子主题变成了我们。


In conclusion, formal education could not be the primarily way to make our favorable culture to be reserved. Only through both formal and non-formal (informal?) education, can a culture perpetuate the ideas it favors and discredit the ideas it fears. Overall education makes a better choice.
（正统教育不能是主要的传播方式，其他教育形式也很重要。）
总结：全文观点：教育是文化传播的主要方式，正统教育和非正统教育一样重要。
问题：
1.一个小问题：标点符号后要空一格。另外最好先粘到word里检查一下拼写，上来满篇红，吓我一跳~~
2.开头中心句不够明确，态度应该更鲜明，不如把结尾段写开头。

桔子susanUID: 2754084

我修改后的文章

The viewpoint states that a culture perpetuates it favors and discredit the ideas it fears through formal education. I would agree with the author in some aspect, however, this statement could not be a verity, for diversity of culture and variety of means to make a culture achieves its end.

Formal education indeed makes much contribution to the selective perpetuation of a culture. As we know, formal education could be defined as a hierarchically structured education system linked with schools and training institutions. People could accept general academic studies and large quantities of ideas through inculcation in classrooms and teaching materials, which cannot cast off the influence of a culture favoured by government and society. In acient china, the Confucianist politics idea which favoured by majorities, is the only idea allowed to be taught in classroom. Thus, it is possible to perpetuate the ideas a culture favors and discredit the ideas some culture fears by formal educations.

Yet, only tie to formal education could not make every culture achieves its ends. What a non-mainstream culture favors and discredits may just the oppsite to a mainstrem culture. Its ideas may not be allowed to be taught in schools. Cosequently, formal education is bound not to be the primary way to perpetuate its favorate ideas. In addition, the culture of a settlement could not achieve its end in the same way. After the Sino-Japanese War, Japanese changed the formal education system of Taiwan into their style after they had invaded Taiwan, trying to implant Janpanese culture into Taiwan children. Therefore, the local ideas and hirtory are forbidden to be taught through formal education. This situation did not change until 1949, after Japan was defeated.

Meanwhile, informal education, such as religion, custom in daily life can make up the shortage of formal education. Every religion will spread their favorable idea to their adherent and the forbidden action they could not have. Each district has their own custom to spread their ideas to the follow generation. For instance, in Thanksgiving Day, people will gathered together to express their thankfulness to each other. That indicates the popular idea which people should always cherish a grateful heart.


In conclusion, formal education could not be the primarily way to make our favorable culture to be reserved. Only through both formal and informal education, can a culture perpetuate the ideas it favors and discredit the ideas it fears. Overall education makes a better choice.

cyctUID: 2728144

哈哈，非常不错，改的见附件