习作argument37

bzr2915UID: 2612029

题目：
Woven baskets characterized by a particular distinctive pattern have previously been found only in the immediate vicinity of the prehistoric village of Palea and therefore were believed to have been unique to the Palean people. Recently, however, archaeologists discovered such a "Palean" basket in Lithos, an ancient village across the Brim River from Palea. The Brim River is very deep and broad, and so the ancient Paleans could only have crossed it by boat, but there is no evidence that the Paleans had boats. And boats capable of carrying groups of people and cargo were not developed until thousands of years after the Palean people disappeared. Moreover, Paleans would have had no need to cross the river—the woods around Palea are full of nuts, berries, and small game. It follows that the so-called Palean baskets were not unique to Palea.

提纲：
1、可能绕道步行过去
2、可能造木筏
3、可能由于其他需求（探险，求佳丽等）或灾难转移
4、即便人过不去，可能由于其他偶然因素，篮子过去了（掉到水里飘过去了。。）

问题可能比较多，海涵~

Basing on a series of doubtful facts that are neither well organized nor logically effective to support the conclusion,the author fails to make clear these questions such like whether the Peleans needed a boat to pass the basket and how did the Peleans go to Lithos as well as what was the motivations for Peleans go across the river. I will discuss all these key points of the statements as follows.

To begin with, the author fails to consider that there might be another way to move the basket to the ancient village. It is natural to conduct that Palean's people might go there on foot in a farther routine bypassing the river. Even though I concede that it was impossible to reach the village without going across the river, the Paleans might also go though the river by other rough transportations such like rafts rather than boats. Under these assumptions, it might have the possibilities for the Paleans to arrive at the opposite village in other ways, which weaken the statement that Paleans could not pass the basket without a boat.

Second, the statement that Paleans had enough food resource and had no motivations to Lithos might be also without a thorough consideration. The author omits other possible desires for the Paleans. An appreciated example is not too far to seek. Paleans immigrated to the village might be stimulated by the adventurous spirit which is born with human beings, a further explanation is that Paleans wanted to conquer a smaller tribe which related to the village for more slaves and females. In short, the author is too hasty to draw the conclusion that Paleans had no other motivations to go to Lithos by the merely fact that there were enough food resource in Palea.

In the final analyse, even though the assumption that Paleans could not move to Lithos are warranted, that the author simply thinks there is only one way to transport the basket to the village by human is not cogent. Common sense tell us there are lots of accidental factors which could lead to such a result that left the basket in Lithos, for example, one Palean washed some fruit on the river and dropped his basket by careless.After serveral days the basket arrive at the village by waves. If the author can not rule out such accidental factor to support the argument, it is not safe to draw a convincing conclusion.

To sum up, the facts cited by the argument are not sufficient to constitute a cogent deduction. If the author can not exclude all these doubtful points which might be harmful to the conclusion discussed above, we can not receive the conclusion that Woven basket was not unique to Paleans.

hugeseaUID: 190158

1# bzr2915

同学，呵呵，我这里是issue修改铺子，argument我也写得不好啊

呵呵

tunicateUID: 2722773

Basing on a series of doubtful facts that are neither well organized nor logically effective to support the conclusion,the author fails to make clear these questions such like whether the Peleans needed a boat to pass the basket and how did the Peleans go to Lithos as well as what was the motivations for Peleans go across the river. 【这句长句稍微有点纠结。。。改成such as the necessity for human to cross the river, the method one may take to cross it, and the motivation they hold to do so可能会更清晰些。还有开头让步下可能会更好~】I will discuss all these key points of the statements as follows.

To begin with, the author fails to consider that there might be another way to move the basket to the ancient village. It is natural to conduct that Palean's people might go there on foot in a farther routine bypassing the river. Even though I concede that it was impossible to reach the village without going across the river, the Paleans might also go though the river by other rough transportations such like rafts rather than boats. Under these assumptions, it might have the possibilities for the Paleans to arrive at the opposite village in other ways, which weaken the statement that Paleans could not pass the basket without a boat.

Second, the statement that Paleans had enough food resource and had no motivations to Lithos might be also without a thorough consideration. The author omits other possible desires for the Paleans. An appreciated example is not too far to seek. Paleans immigrated to the village might be stimulated by the adventurous spirit which is born with human beings, a further explanation is that Paleans wanted to conquer a smaller tribe which related to the village for more slaves and females. In short, the author is too hasty to draw the conclusion that Paleans had no other motivations to go to Lithos by the merely fact 【merely by the fact】that there were enough food resource in Palea.【总结的不错：>】

In the final analyse, even though the assumption that Paleans could not move to Lithos are warranted, that the author simply thinks there is only one way to transport the basket to the village by human is not cogent. Common sense tell us there are lots of accidental factors which could lead to such a result that left the basket in Lithos, for example, one Palean washed some fruit on the river and dropped his basket by careless.After serveral days the basket arrive at the village by waves.【汗。。我也想到这种情况了。。。】 If the author can not rule out such accidental factor to support the argument, it is not safe to draw a convincing conclusion.【尽量少用主观句~】

To sum up, the facts cited by the argument are not sufficient to constitute a cogent deduction. If the author can not exclude all these doubtful points which might be harmful to the conclusion 【harmful 欠佳】discussed above, we can not receive the conclusion that Woven basket was not unique to Paleans.

总体结构没问题~有一些词和搭配还要仔细斟酌下：>
另外我觉得时间外推也是个错误。现在有充足食物，不代表过去也是；现在河难过，不带表以前也一样，如果还有时间，加上这一点应该会更好。

另外我分了两贴，分别跟着一二组进度，第二组这周的已经发上去了，在https://bbs.gter.net/viewthread.php?tid=1054394&extra=&page=3
也要去拍哦：>