Issue 130 求狂拍啊

qyr1987UID: 2754639

ISSUE130 - "How children are socialized today determines the destiny of society. Unfortunately, we have not yet learned how to raise children who can help bring about a better society."

The assertions made by the author are both specious. The first contention overstates the influence exerted by socialization of children on the destiny of society; the second allegation is unduly pessimistic about our way to raise children before the term "better society" being determined on a case by case basis.

The socialization of children plays an important role in determining the destiny of society. After all, children are successors of the current society and the masters of the future one; the way they grow up inextricably linked with the trend of society. On one hand, the better they learn their culture through the process of socialization, the more likely their love and responsibility for the society be invoked and accumulated. Children with intense social responsibility will eventually grow into the backbone of the society and give a impetus to the better one. Besides, socialization grants their competence to deal with any challenge for better society with better adaption to environment and skills for interpersonal relationship. One the other hand, there are some side effects for socialization. The whole society is permeated with adult-oriented contents-full of lies, violence, and hatred. If children, who are good at imitating, expose to these contents too early, they will inevitably learn from these contents and eventually grow into an ineffectual, a harmful, perhaps even an anti-social adult; take more and more juvenile delinquency as a proof.

However, socialization is only among the most decisive factors of children's destiny, and ultimately the society's destiny. There are still factor like
desire, attitude and quality that will ultimately contribute to a better society; consider those prominent leaders have profoundly done that: Theodore Roosevelt gained his perseverance in his childhood through fighting for physical infirmities, and that quality helped him lead everyone who embraces peace to rebel the Hitler's suppression unyieldingly and subsequently bring peace back; Thomas Edison, acquiring his curiosity as a child, maintained his curiosity when grew into one of the most prolific inventors in history and finally opened the gate for electric era as a pioneer. In short, those are all predecessors who were dedicated to a better society with their quality rather than socialization.

As for whether we have learned how to raise children who can help bring about a better future, different answers would emerge if different definition of the term" better" varied from case to case. When we define more harmony with nature, more voyages of spiritual discovery as "better", children have not been raised well as the author asserts. When we spare no efforts in exploiting the natural resource without concerning deforestation and pollution, how could we teach our children to keep in harmony with nature? When we are absorb in earn for a living, we fail to teach our children find real peace in spiritual discovery. However, if we define a "better" society as one characterized by more rapid economical growth, or more civil rights, then children of the recent decades learned quite well to create a better society. The recent decades have seen exponential leap in social fortune and more governments' regulation for the rights of women, different race, mentally and physically-challenged individuals, and so forth. In a word, we should assess whether children have learned to create a better society case by case.

In the final analysis, socialization together with other factors like quality determines the destiny of children, and ultimately the destiny of society. Besides, query whether we have learned to raise children to help bring about a better society if the term" better" differs.

qyr1987UID: 2754639

draft version 求狂拍啊

gjl1110UID: 2760322

楼主的文采很好，用词高级且准确，赞！

我从你的文章中看出两个破题思路：
1.中立态度（socialize和其他因素）
2.关键词定义法（better）
文章主题的前两段围绕第一种破提法，第三段围绕第二种破提法。

个人觉得你应该选择两种破题思路中的一种来写，两个都抓会显得主题比较乱。
从开头结尾来看，你是想用关键词定义法，但从主题来看，更多的采用中立态度，希望你能够统一起来。

qyr1987UID: 2754639

总觉得这篇文章的这种写法可能有问题 有没有同学可以提点建议啊？