小伙子作文

glly7UID: 2675646

2.28It better to use own knowledge and experience to solve question, or ask other people for advice.   
              Well, you know , there is discussion over the method of transacting problems , by ourselves or others ?  Though some hold the idea that the combine of others ideas is playing an extremely important role in the disposal of problems ..in my opinion,it is vital to solve problems we met by ourselves when considering the elevation ,dependence and confidence .
        The main reason lies in the fact that dispose problem by our ourselves is a process of elevating ourselves . Our knowledge ,experience ,capacity ----the list goes on . anyone would agree that it is painful to solve it by oneself and should do it with others, but think about what could you obtain from that process ? Or what if certain problem comes to you when you are alone ? Indisputably , that deal with problems depend on ourselves signifys that sustain loneliness and affliction , then we can really enhance our ability through that process ,which is the purpose we tend to achieve
        An additional factor involves the recognition is that it can decrease our dependence on others,which put us in a favorable position in our lives .for instance ,you encounter certain imperative problem and your friends are busy or tired ,then what would you do ?live under the illusion that they will come and help you ? Or be strong and transact it by yourself ? Similarly , if you are a boy and usually  tend to deal with question with others , what you can do to attract your favorite girl . Girls generally do like man who are capable and strong . Think about this :you are going after a girl ,but you dispose it by her when you meet a problem .. Then what will happen is inevitable a tragedy
         To further clarify this ,we could add that we do resolve problems in person greatly strength our confidence which give us impetus to more forward . We all want to realize our dream ,but we also fail to take into account the basic fact that we have to overcome the pain ,loneliness and frustration during the process . Those resistance derives from our confidence we have  and from our elevation we need
        Judging what has been discussed above ,we can safely draw the conclusion that transact the problem by ourselves contributes greatly to our lives . Anyone who is blind to this point will pay a heavy price we can not afford

amanda_qinyyUID: 2632170

嗯，有什么问题的话和我讨论哈！

nathanycUID: 2551974

额，不好意思现在才改，提个小建议哈，以后最后能发word附件在帖子里，复制都是乱码，格式也不对，逗号后要空格的。。。
贴上批改，不当之处多包涵啊哈

glly7UID: 2675646

It better to use own knowledge and experience to solve question, or ask other people for advice.
     Nowadays,there is discussion over the method of transacting problems , by ourselves or others ?  Though some hold the idea that the combine of other ideas is playing an extremely important role in the disposal of problems ..in my opinion,it is vital to solve problems we meet by ourselves when considering the elevation ,dependence and confidence .
The main reason lies in the fact that disposing a problem by our ourselves is a process of elevating ourselves . Our knowledge ,experience ,capacity ----the list goes on . anyone would agree that it is painful to solve it by oneself and should do it with others, but think about what could you obtain from that process ? Or what if certain problem comes to us when we are alone and not capable to deal with? Indisputably,that dealing with problems depend on ourselves signifys that we inevitably have to sustain loneliness and affliction , but it can dramatically enhance our abilities through that process ,which is the purpose we tend to achieve
An additional factor involves the recognition is that it can decrease our dependence on others,which put us in a favorable position in our lives . For instance ,we encounter certain imperative problem and our friends are busy or tired ,then what would you do ? Living under the illusion that they will come and help us ? Or be strong and transact it by yourself ? No one can deny the fact that people in growing numbers tend to choose the latter .Similarly , if  i am a boy and usually  tend to deal with question with others , what i can do to attract your favorite girl . Girls generally do like man who are capable and strong . Think about this situation:i am going after a girl ,but she transacts it instead of me when we meet a problem . Then what will happen is inevitable a tragedy
To further clarify my point of view ,we could add that we do resolve problems in person greatly strength our confidence which give us impetus to move forward . We all want to realize our dreams ,but we also seem to fail to take into account the basic fact that we have to overcome the pain ,loneliness and frustration during the process . Power that used to conquer those resistances derives from our confidence we have  and from our elevation we need
Judging what has been discussed above ,we can safely draw the conclusion that transacting the problem by ourselves contributes greatly to enhancing our promotion opportunities , improving our standard of life ,and constituting our families . Anyone who is blind to this point will pay a heavy price we can not afford

glly7UID: 2675646

It better to use own knowledge and experience to solve question, or ask other people for advice.
     Nowadays,there is discussion over the method of transacting problems , by ourselves or others ?  Though some hold the idea that the combine of other ideas is playing an extremely important role in the disposal of problems ..in my opinion,it is vital to solve problems we meet by ourselves when considering the elevation ,dependence and confidence .
The main reason lies in the fact that disposing a problem by our ourselves is a process of elevating ourselves . Our knowledge ,experience ,capacity ----the list goes on . anyone would agree that it is painful to solve it by oneself and should do it with others, but think about what could you obtain from that process ? Or what if certain problem comes to us when we are alone and not capable to deal with? Indisputably,that dealing with problems depend on ourselves signifys that we inevitably have to sustain loneliness and affliction , but it can dramatically enhance our abilities through that process ,which is the purpose we tend to achieve
An additional factor involves the recognition is that it can decrease our dependence on others,which put us in a favorable position in our lives . For instance ,we encounter certain imperative problem and our friends are busy or tired ,then what would you do ? Living under the illusion that they will come and help us ? Or be strong and transact it by yourself ? No one can deny the fact that people in growing numbers tend to choose the latter .Similarly , if  i am a boy and usually  tend to deal with question with others , what i can do to attract your favorite girl . Girls generally do like man who are capable and strong . Think about this situation:i am going after a girl ,but she transacts it instead of me when we meet a problem . Then what will happen is inevitable a tragedy
To further clarify my point of view ,we could add that we do resolve problems in person greatly strength our confidence which give us impetus to move forward . We all want to realize our dreams ,but we also seem to fail to take into account the basic fact that we have to overcome the pain ,loneliness and frustration during the process . Power that used to conquer those resistances derives from our confidence we have  and from our elevation we need
Judging what has been discussed above ,we can safely draw the conclusion that transacting the problem by ourselves contributes greatly to enhancing our promotion opportunities , improving our standard of life ,and constituting our families . Anyone who is blind to this point will pay a heavy price we can not afford

glly7UID: 2675646

3.4：Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? The ability of writing and reading is less important than before.

Along with the rapidly development of modern science and technology .People 's life is becoming better than any time before.Unfortunately ,people in growing numbers are beginning to live under the illusion that our capacities of writing and reading are undergoing a decline .I am convinced that it is playing an increasing role in  our lives when considering 3.4：Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? The ability of writing and reading is less important than before.# N9The main reason lies in the fact that that could put us in a favorable position in our society.for example  people who has a good competence of reading or writing can readily master more technology and knowledge ,helping him enrich his thinking ,enhance his life level ,and improve his understanding of world . Similarly ,it could dramatically elevate our efficiency when doing work or studying by coming into condition quickly and by tackling informa3.4：Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? The ability of writing and reading is less important than before.# N9ion exactly . Perhaps most importantly ,however ,the progress brought about by highly education make huge access to our personal benefits ,thereby giving us a meaningful and happy life
Anther factor involves the recognition is that people can look lots of book we like .People who likes reading book such as students or teachers usually go into rapture at the mere mention of having a chance to read book ,but they do not have enough time to read ,then the competence of reading contributes forthright to  reading the book fully.Especially for the exam , better reading ability means a path toward a higher score
To further clarify that ,we can add that good writing skills give a way to express us accurately .For example ,writing skills has spawned many advances in linguistics and philosophy ,leading us to render our emotions ,provoke our interest and incisive the growth of our society . Moreover , good writing skills could make maximal contribution to our resume ,which plays a extremely important role in job markets ,thereby enhancing our competitive force and orienting toward a better life   
Judging from what has been discussed above ,we can safely draw the conclusion that good reading or  writing skills is an inevitable part of our lives . No one could afford to ignore it
# N9

zhangwen08UID: 2713418

你好！我已经把你的作文改完了
可是我怎么上传附件啊？

zhangwen08UID: 2713418

K
Along with the rapidly development of modern science and technology .People 's life is becoming better than any time before.Unfortunately ,people in growing numbers are beginning to live under the illusion that our capacities of writing and reading are undergoing a decline .I am convinced that it is playing an increasing role in  our lives when considering 3.4：Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? The ability of writing and reading is less important than before.# N9（这里没必要把题目给列出来吧？可以换个说法）The main reason lies in the fact that that could put us in a favorable position in our society.（这句我么有看懂~~）for example  people who has a good competence of reading and writing can readily master more technology and knowledge ,help him enrich his thinking ,enhance his life level ,and improve his understanding of the world . Similarly ,it could dramatically elevate our efficiency when doing work or studying by coming into condition quickly and by tackling information exactly . Perhaps most importantly ,however ,the progress brought by highly education makes a huge access to our personal benefits ,thereby giving us a meaningful and happy life : N+ i5 w0 d# j1 O# x' U


Anther factor involves the recognition is that people can look lots of books they like .People who like reading books such as students or teachers usually go into rapture at the mere mention of having a chance to read book ,but they do not have enough time to read ,then the competence of reading contributes forthright to  reading the book fully.Especially for the exam , better reading ability means a path toward a higher score


To further clarify that ,we can add that good writing skills give a way to express us accurately .For example ,writing skills has spawned many advances in linguistics and philosophy ,leading us to render our emotions ,provoke our interest and incisive（这里应该用动词）the growth of our society . Moreover , good writing skills could make maximal contributions to our resume ,which plays an extremely important role in job markets ,thereby enhancing our competitive force and orienting toward a better life   


Judging from what I has been discussed above ,we can safely draw the conclusion that good reading and writing skills is an inevitable part of our lives . No one could afford to ignore it

您好！我是第一次参加作文互改小组，改的不合适的地方请告诉我。我不知道怎么上传附件~ 现在的格式貌似有点变~

整体感觉有以下几个问题：
1、  1 。逗号前面不用加空格，后面要加空格。（这个问题我看以前的同学给你提过）
2、2.
冠词的用法 a/an/the 或者直接用复数形式
3、 3. 用的套话很多，toefl作文要多举例子，只理论上证明是不行的，举具体的例子!
4、  4.长句子太多了~~~
5、 5. 不知道是不是你贴的时候有问题，第一段也太长了~，相比而言最后一段太短了
6、  6.句式变化很多，这很好，这点我要向你学习。不过一篇文章用的太多了，反而让人觉得没有自己的东西，看起来也比较累

zhangwen08UID: 2713418

不好意思啊 这样不知道你能不能看明白 不行的话我给你发邮件~

glly7UID: 2675646

24# zhangwen08
呵呵，谢谢你的建议啊 ，我会加以改正的，今天刚回来，才上网，我会尽快吧你的改了发过去的，还请见谅
如果可以的话，你吧文档传上来吧，蛮方便的

glly7UID: 2675646

不好意思啊大家，刚回来，昨天传上去的作文怎么成那样了，文档里面是好的，不也不知道是什么情况，对不起大家了，我重传下

3.4：Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? The ability of writing and reading is less important than before.

Along with the rapidly development of modern science and technology .People 's life is becoming better than any time before.Unfortunately ,people in growing numbers are beginning to live under the illusion that our capacities of writing and reading are undergoing a decline .I am convinced that it is playing an increasing role in  our lives when considering its function, manners,and effects
N9The main reason lies in the fact that that could put us in a favorable position in our society.for example  people who has a good competence of reading or writing can readily master more technology and knowledge ,helping him enrich his thinking ,enhance his life level ,and improve his understanding of world. Similarly ,it could dramatically elevate our efficiency when doing work or studying by coming into condition quickly and by tackling information exactly . Perhaps most importantly ,however ,the progress brought about by highly education make huge access to our personal benefits ,thereby giving us a meaningful and happy life
Anther factor involves the recognition is that people can look lots of book we like .People who likes reading book such as students or teachers usually go into rapture at the mere mention of having a chance to read book ,but they do not have enough time to read ,then the competence of reading contributes forthright to  reading the book fully.Especially for the exam, better reading ability means a path toward a higher score
To further clarify that ,we can add that good writing skills give a way to express us accurately .For example ,writing skills has spawned many advances in linguistics and philosophy .Moreover , good writing skills could make maximal contribution to our resume ,which plays a extremely important role in job markets ,thereby enhancing our competitive force and orienting toward a better life   
Judging from what has been discussed above ,we can safely draw the conclusion that good reading or  writing skills is an inevitable part of our lives . No one could afford to ignore it
# N9

glly7UID: 2675646

3月5号3 S8 z+ Z% p9 m5 Z- V1 U  x! X
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Most people prefer having other people make decisions for them rather than making decisions by themselves

Along with the rapidly economic growth , people 's life dramatically changed by modern science and technology. However , people 's independence is undergoing a decline , especially the means of tackling questions we meet . According a recent survey, people in growing numbers are beginning to make decisions depend on others . In my opinion , it is important to decide by ourselves when considering experience,convenience,and family
The main reason lies in the fact that make decisions by ourselves could enhance our experience,which put us in a favorable position in future questions . For example, we make a decision by ourselves to solve certain thing , if it is not a good one , we also can gain much experience ,which we will never be able to get from our textbooks . And when it comes to us again ,we could readily tackle it very well and afflict us greatly.On the contrary , if our choosing is gorgeous ,then think about what would we get? Experience , confidence , victory ---the list goes on . All comes to the point that by ourselves is worthy on both accounts
Another factor involves the recognition is that it is convenient to decide by ourselves . Especially when we are alone or in trouble ,it bring us the efficiency. For instance , we encounter a calamity when wandering outside at night , there are few people around. Would you find some people and ask him or her for helping make a decision ? Or will you wait there until anyone appears and decide what should do together ? Of course not, indisputably , we should send victims to hospital or phone without hesitate .
To further clarify that ,we could add that it contributes to our family. Actually ,it is very usual for us . Take me for example, i am a boy , if i always need friends to help me make decisions, what would i do in such a situation. I am going after a girl i love ,we are shopping and a particular problem comes to us , no friends there , if she helps me  solve the problem , then what 's on her mind ?  Undoubtedly ,it will be a tragedy ,which has no association with a family .  
Judging what has been discussed above ,we can safely draw the conclusion that make a choosing by ourselves produce an essential impact on our lives in modern society . Anyone who is blind to this point will pay a heavy price we can not afford

zhangwen08UID: 2713418

我还没学会怎么传附件 能教我一下吗

zhangwen08UID: 2713418

会了 O(∩_∩)O哈哈~

howard_hhqUID: 2648506

3月5号
, B# W6 P$ @+ Z2 sDo you agree or disagree with the following statement? Most people prefer having other people make decisions for them rather than making decisions by themselves8"

Along with the rapidly economic growth , people 's life dramatically changed by modern science and technology. However, people’s independence is undergoing a decline, especially the means of tackling questions we meet(和上面衔接有问题). According a recent survey, people in growing numbers are beginning to make decisions depend on others. In my opinion, it is important to decide by ourselves when considering experience, convenience, and family

The main reason lies in the fact that [url=]make [/url][*1] decisions by ourselves could enhance our experience,which put us in a favorable position in future questions . For example, we make a decision by ourselves to solve certain [url=]thing [/url][*2] , if it is not a good one , we also can gain much experience ,which we will never be able to get from our textbooks . And when it comes to us again ,we could readily tackle it very well and afflict us greatly. On the contrary , if our choosing is gorgeous ,then think about what would we get? Experience , confidence , victory ---the list goes on . All comes to the point that by ourselves is worthy on both accounts
感觉论证不够充分去支持“experience”
Another factor involves the recognition is that it is convenient to decide by ourselves . Especially when we are alone or in trouble ,it bring us the efficiency. For instance , we encounter a calamity when wandering outside at night , there are few people around. Would you find some people and ask him or her for helping make a decision ? Or will you wait there until anyone appears and decide what should do together ? Of course not, indisputably , we should send victims to hospital or phone without hesitate .  
问句使用的好,
To further clarify that ,we could add that it contributes to our family. Actually ,it is very usual for us . Take me for example, i am a boy , if i always need friends to help me make decisions, what would i do in such a situation. I am going after a girl[url=] i love[/url][*3] ,we are shopping and a particular problem comes to us , no friends there , if she helps me  solve the problem , then what 's on her mind ?  Undoubtedly ,it will be a tragedy ,which has no association with a family .
这个好像和family有用比较勉强，不如说对自己成长或者独立由于，句子很“中式”
Judging what has been discussed above ,we can safely draw the conclusion that make a choosing by ourselves produce an essential impact on our lives in modern society . Anyone who is blind to this point will pay a heavy price we can not afford

总体情况还好，但是句子上面稍欠缺，还有逻辑上面要加强