小伙子作文

glly7UID：2675646

3.6

半夏之北UID：2517498

Along with the rapidly economic growth , people 's life dramatically changed by modern science and technology. However , people 's independence is undergoing a decline , especially the means of tackling questions we meet . According a recent survey, people in growing numbers are beginning to make decisions depend（depending） on others . In my opinion , it is important to decide by ourselves when considering experience,convenience,and （the)family
The main reason lies in the fact that make(making) decisions by ourselves could enhance our experience,which put us in a favorable position in future questions (in solving future questions?). For example, we make a decision by ourselves to solve certain thing , if it is not a good one , we also can gain much experience ,which we will never be able to get from our textbooks . And when it comes to us again ,we could readily tackle it very well and afflict us greatly.On the contrary , if our choosing is gorgeous ,then think about what would we get? Experience , confidence , victory ---the list goes on . All comes to the point that by ourselves is worthy on both accounts
Another factor involves the recognition is that it is convenient to decide by ourselves . Especially when we are alone or in trouble ,it bring us the efficiency. For instance , we encounter a calamity when wandering outside at night , there are few people around. Would you find some people and ask him or her for helping make a decision ? Or will you wait there until anyone appears and decide what should do together ? Of course not, indisputably , we should send victims to hospital or phone without hesitate(hesitation) .
To further clarify that ,we could add that it contributes to our family. Actually ,it is very usual for us . Take me for example, i am a boy , if i always need friends to help me make decisions, what would i do in such a situation. I am going after a girl i love ,we are shopping and a particular problem comes to us , no friends there , if she helps me solve the problem , then what 's on her mind ? Undoubtedly ,it will be a tragedy ,which has no association with a family . 这一段和上面的重复了，意思基本上是一样的
Judging what （we）has been discussed above ,we can safely draw the conclusion that make a choosing(choice) by ourselves produce(exerts) an essential impact on our lives in modern society . Anyone who is blind to this point will pay a heavy price we can not afford
题目中是prefer to do something，这个你没有提到，感觉应该先提一下再说自己做决定好，然后说人们更原因自己做决定。有的句子太长了，可以用一些连接词。后两个论点基本上是一样的，有点重复了。一家之言，仅供参考~~

happyfaith2008UID：2709856

好好看看吧，我看得比较认真，但是还是只是挑出来了主要毛病。很多东西我也没办法更正过来。只能说给你找找毛病。
老同学我就直接带刀子去了。呵呵~~美女加油！

mpromanusUID：2565872

26# glly7

Along with the rapidly development of modern science and technology, people's life is becoming better than any time before. Unfortunately, people in growing numbers are beginning to live under the illusion that our capacities of writing and reading are undergoing a decline. I am convinced that it (What?) is playing an increasingly important? role in our lives when considering its function, manners?, and effects.

The main reason lies in the fact that that (What??) could put us in a favorable position in our society. For example, people who have a good competence of in reading or writing can readily master more technology and knowledge, helping him them enrich his their thinking, enhance his life level (1. 'his' should be a plural because you started the sentence with 'people'. 2. you can't really 'enhance' a 'life level'. 3. there's no such thing as a 'life level' anyway. What you're trying to express here might just be 'enhance their lives'.), and improve his their understanding of world. Similarly, it (Again, what?) could dramatically elevate our efficiency when doing in work or studying by coming into condition? (Do you mean 'get into the mood'?) quickly and by tackling information exactly? (Now I can't even guess this one..). Perhaps most importantly, however, the progress brought about by highlyer education makes huge access? (Shouldn't this be something like 'impact'?) to our personal benefits, thereby giving us a meaningful and happy life. (You should remember to come up with some examples for the 'progress' part. What you have here is pretty vague.)

Another factor involves the recognition is that people can look at lots of books (And, you don't just 'look at' books. You 'read' books.) we like. People who likes reading books such as students or teachers (Do all 'students or teachers' always like reading books?) usually go into rapture at the mere mention of having a chance to read books, but they do not have enough time to read, then the competence of reading contributes forthright to reading the books fully.Especially for the exams, better reading ability means a path towards a higher score. (Reading for exames and reading for joy sound like they're likely two different kinds of 'reading'.)

To further clarify that (What?), we can add that good writing skills give a way to express us ourselves accurately. For example, writing skills has spawned many advances in linguistics and philosophy. Moreover, good writing skills could make maximal contributions to our resumes, which plays a extremely important role in job markets, thereby enhancing our competitive force edge and orienting toward a better life.

Judging from what has been discussed above, we can safely draw the conclusion that good reading or writing skills is an inevitable part of our lives. No one could afford to ignore it.

总结：

为什么这篇文章的空格都是在逗号前面，而且每段的结尾都没有句号的咧？请注意一下标点的使用。。

基本上来说行文的流畅程度方面有提高，但是语法方面单复数的问题还是很明显，语汇和表达式的使用也经常出现奇怪的用法，最重要的是代词指代极其不清楚 - 说了很多it, that，都不知道是在说什么。你自己心里清楚你的it是什么，你的读者不一定知道啊~总之就是还要继续培养语感，对于基础的语法和表达请一定要多加留意，很多问题像express us, look book这种都应该完全避免。

论述方面依旧完全跑题，你的结尾句和问题放在一起一看就知道了 - 问题是the ability..is less important than before，你的结论是...skills is an inevitable part of our lives. 首先，题目是比较，你的作文是描述好处；第二，题目是和过去比较，你全篇没有提到 过去 一个字。还是那句话，你要把题目看完整，明白题目到底想让你说什么。不能看到一两个自己懂的关键字，就连题目到底是什么要求都还没搞清楚便蒙着头很happy地往下写了。。

glly7UID：2675646

恩，辛苦婷了，我会改进的 33# happyfaith2008

glly7UID：2675646

原版
3.9
Many teachers assign homework to students every day. Do you think that daily homework is necessary for students? Use specific reasons and details to support your answer.

    Nowadays,schooling has become a matter of concern for more and more people ,especially about homework,many teachers design much homework everyday to elevate students ' study,while others think it is gratuitous.in my opinion,homework is inevitably an important part of students' lives.
The main reason lies in the fact that homework could bring about a responsibility of students to study well. People all like to play or do anything pleasure,so are students. Normally,students would play with their peers after school,they have no concern about their studies,because they are too young to control themselves,do not know what it is and the importance of study. In other words,they need a guide to instruct them to go toward a right way,which will produce a far-reaching impact on their later lives. On the other hand,if students go home with homework assigned by teachers,their unconsciousness would make access to form a responsibility to finish their homework,their study. Usually, it can bring really active effects on doing their homework.
To further clarify my opinion,we can add that homework can greatly intensify students ' knowledge. Anyone would agree that it is equally important to take activities after students have spend the whole day on the boring classroom. Of course,no one can deny this essential fact. But what if students are addicted to playing because of ever spend much time on it? Or what if students lose the impetus to study? Indisputably, we all know that the major function of the assignment is review and fortify the knowledge learned in that day rather than torment students.that is to say it is just a small amount. Students can accomplish it within a short time.they can play outside for a while and finish it later, they also can finish it first and play with their peers to enjoy their time leisurely. All sounds good,on both accounts,students,laden with a assignment,could study and intensify useful knowledge that day and enjoy their time freely.   
Judging from what have discussed above, we can firmly convinced that homework is  requisite and meaningful. Anyone who is blind to this point will pay a heavy price

glly7UID：2675646

3.11
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? A teacher who is a serious and strict person is more effective in teaching than a teacher who is a humor and easygoing person.

With the exponents of the idea that teacher should be rigorous and severe believe it would be more efficient than the humorous ones. In my opinion, the latter would make welcome effect on our studies and development when considering driving force and good characteristics
The main reason lies in the fact that teachers who is benign could give us confidence,and impetus to study actively. Children are all in rapidly physical growth. Anything can make a profound influence on them. If students get a bad score in a text,they would be pensive and lose its confidence.this time is pivotal. If teachers are serious and have a high target,it will give students more stress,which they can not afford. It will produce serious impacts on them and will become more self-contemptuous.then they would tend to have no association with studies and develop adversely. If teachers ,however,are humorous and easygoing, from teachers ' aspect, they will help and adjust students spontaneously, especially its psychological aspect,which is really essential for the development. Students are also likely to communicate with those teachers and get for help,then go along the right way until success. On both aspects, teachers,who are benign and facetious,are more efficient in the education.
To further clarify my point, we can add that those teachers can conduct students to form such good characteristics as affable and facile,which make them in a favorable position in their later education. We all know that we should study how to become a man before we learn the studies. Nowadays,children are all send to schools to study but forget learning a most important aspect---how to do as a man. Actually,this knowledge is more important than our studies and teachers are playing increasing essential role in instructing students. Teacher who are benign and affable could instruct them invisibly,and students can from good habitats invisibly. It is very important and useful. On the contrary, if teachers are serious and ferocious, we would students can get from? I think it would be than students become less confidence and tend to do some bad things block the development of our society. Such as crime, steal---the list goes on.
From what have been discussed above, all comes to my point that teachers who are gracious and humorous are more useful in teaching than serious ones

glly7UID：2675646

3.24 （09.01.10）Do you agree or disagree that improving schools is the most factor in successful development of country.
        While someone, holding that developing schools play an extremely important role in our society claims that it is the most factor along with the progress of our nation. As far as i am concerned, improving schools make great contributions,not most,during the successful growth of our country.
        Granted that the base used to move forward our society derives from schools to students studying in school to scientists with knowledge educated in the schools, all of us would go to school for study at first as a path toward making contributions to our society. No one can deny the essential fact that our society has dramatically changed by modern science and technology,which created and advanced by intellect educated by schools, rapid growth of society make possible intellect in growing numbers presented,then they contributes greatly to our society and give rise to higher vehement growth in return, thus constantly enhancing our society. Back to the point, improving schools should be placed much emphasis when it comes to the growth of society.
        Admittedly, the successful growth of country can not just depend on the improving schools, other factors like stability also plays a eminent role in the development of country. For example, a country can not have a serene environment to develop without a firm military to protect from disturbance outside. No environment, no chance to develop, then how can our society more forward? And based on what? Obviously nothing. Similarly, from the internal aspect, we are having a long-term,effective,and significant plan, someone who are turbulent and try to disarrange the society, if we can not castigate them by law,how it goes? Partially speaking,we can go on with our step, but we do not know when block presents and degree it goes, is what we want? Of course not. Indisputably, the stability of a country is also a n extremely important factor during the progress.
        Judging from what have discussed above, we can safely draw the conclusion that improving school is not the most factor during the progress of our country,improving school and stability are equallyessential. Both of those can not be overlooked
        好长时间时间没写了，感觉写的好离谱啊（还未修改），各位辛苦了

glly7UID：2675646

3.25 （09.03.27）
Teachers should not show their political or social views known in the classroom.
A Along with the highly rapid development of our society, instructors are playing extremely important roles in the education of students. There are much discussion over the education in recent years, on of the questions under debate is that whether the political or social opinions of instructors should be presented to students. As far as i am concerned, the answer of which view is better depends on the nature of the views.
Children are undergoing rapidly physical growth and could be influenced by disturbance easily. That is to say ,teachers ' view would occupy a big proportion within students ' consciousness. Undeniable views like principle of being a man, standpoint of our country toward Taiwan should be rooted in students ' subconsciousness which contributes greatly to dignity, development of our country,even the subsistence as a whole country. Furthermore,teachers instruct those active ideas to students can not only instigate their development invisibly and actively but also inspire them study hard and efficiently.
Instructors carry a important responsibility for students,parents,and the country, but no one can deny the fact that not all the views of instructors are identical. The phenomenon of teachers ' view is unfully active may can not be eliminated,at least for now. While the serene environment without war in the world, political points among countries are soaring by day.,which mainly derives from the political views.So the instruction of those teachers to students may produce passive effects on students and the country, that negative instruction is invisibly, easy to be overlooked,and probably foment the damage of our peaceful environment. Moreover, Students are the future of a country,their thinking,political views, knowledge and the like would represent the pathway of the country, back to say, the partially active point should not be imparted in the classroom, or negative effects may come to present.
In sum,the attribute of political or social points set a judgement that give way to the presentation of those in the classroom. Active or not,even though it may be slight to some extent, could produce bad effects on the country and teacher who is blind to this point will pay a heavy price.（未修改版本）

stefanie299UID：2667762

11

crazyluUID：2628382

额，3。26的作业呢

summeralwaysUID：2704210

Do you agree or disagree that improving schools is the most factor in successful development of country.
0 l8 \1 ]& Q" Y; G* \  M2 Q% y! I, M        While someone,（这里没必要加逗号） holding that developing schools play an extremely important role in our society claims that it is the most factor along with the progress of our nation. 一句话里出现了两个动词。。可以把这地方分开。。they claim..As far as i am concerned, improving schools make great contributions,not most,什么意思？during the successful growth of our country.# O3 ^1 L) s8 u" p
       Granted that the base used to move forward our society derives from schools to students studying in school to scientists with knowledge educated in the schools, all of us would go to school for study at first as a path toward making contributions to our society. 太复杂了，没怎么懂。。，可以写的简洁一点哦No one can deny the essential fact that our society has dramatically changed by modern science and technology,which created and advanced by intellect educated （education）by schools,这里可以用句号了，结束一句话。 rapid growth of society make possible intellect in growing numbers presented,then they contributes greatly to our society and give rise to higher vehement growth in return, thus constantly enhancing our society. Back to the point, improving schools should be placed much emphasis when it comes to the growth of society.这里建议写主动态，现在的这句看起来不是很舒服。

* N& M# j) s6 j8 a, u3 [9 s6 U& P, m   Admittedly, the successful growth of country can not just depend on the improving schools, other factors like stability also plays a (an)eminent role in the development of country. For example, a country can not have a serene environment to develop without a firm military to protect (it )from disturbance outside. No without会好点environment, no chance to develop, then how can our society more forward？ And based on what?什么意思？ Obviously nothing. Similarly, from the internal aspect, we are having a long-term,effective,and significant plan, someone who are turbulent and try to disarrange the society, if we can not castigate them by law,how it goes? Partially speaking,we can go on with our step, but we do not know when block presents and degree it goes, is what we want? 没懂？Of course not. Indisputably, the stability of a country is also a n extremely important factor during the progress.. q. ~% b$ k6 f8 D% [8 _7 y
        Judging from what have discussed above, we can safely draw the conclusion that improving school is not the most factor during the progress of our country,improving school and stability are equallyessential. Both 这是用在两者之中的，用ALL。。of those can not be overlooked
说实话，我很多地方都没有读懂，感觉整个文章的论点不清晰，也没有突出要说什么。。sorry，还有句子的写法上建议可以写的简洁些，语法也要多加强。加油哦。。不好意思，因为27号考试没有及时批改作业，对不起。。

glly7UID：2675646

3.31 （07.11.11）8 n9 K4 }* ^. |$ s% j# Y+ O
Advertisements make products seem better than they are.
Throughout the world, advertisement exert increasing effects on our society and give strong incentive to rapid economic growth. Everything can get established in the society has its specialty in someway or others, a classic example of this truth is advertisement,since it give produce a good presentation and appeal to consumers intensively when considering the satisfaction,the audience,and the development of our society.
The main reason lies in the fact that good presentation could cater on consumers' satisfaction imperceptibly. No one can deny the fact that everyone has a strong desire to meet his/her own needs, and this is the prevailing method used by dealers,advertising merchants in particular,to make huge money. They create excellent ads to present products more better and thus attracts costumers forthright. Either adults with their salary or children with their pocket money usually can not resist those strong temptations. In this case, the presentation of ads constantly  attract consumers ' attention and its progressive change take place along with time goes on.
Admittedly, good ads with better expressions could cause great pleasure to citizens. Advertisements in the TV pose a major portion overall.we can appreciate lots of ads during the interludes When people are watching television. While some hold the opinion that there is no subtleties of those episodes, they could relieve viewers' fatigue and sometimes bring to inexpressible pleasure and fun and contributes to later relax atmosphere. Moreover better ads could enrich children 's life experience as well as creative objectives. If this is the case, certain active thinking and particular things invisible would be gradually transplanted into children 's mind.thus widening children 's view of the world.
Finally, with the advent of better and better ads are created by designers,creative thinking would be penetrated into daily life and produce far-reaching imparts on the development of our society,therefore prolonging,enriching,and elevating the standard of our life. More and more achievements produce more strong impulse to instigate us to move forward constantly and efficiently in return, such circle greatly benefits us and our society.
In summary, judging from what have been discussed above,we can safely draw the conclusion that the advertisements usually present the produce better than what they really are. There is no denying this fact.

馋MEUID：2761685

43# glly7



修改

zhisnoopyUID：2703722

Throughout the world, advertisement exert increasing effects on our society and give strong incentive to rapid economic growth. Everything can get established in the society has its specialty in someway or others(可能我能力有限，这句话真的没看懂……), a classic example of this truth is advertisement,since it gives produce（product 笔误？） a good presentation and appeals to consumers intensively when considering the satisfaction,the audience,and the development of our society.(这句我也没能理解，为什么考虑到观众和社会发展，广告就对消费者有吸引力？还是我看错主谓了？)

The main reason lies in the fact that good presentation could cater on consumers' satisfaction imperceptibly. No one can deny the fact that everyone has a strong desire to meet his/her own needs, and this is the prevailing method used by dealers,advertising merchants in particular,to make huge money. They create excellent ads to present products more better and thus attracts costumers forthright（点题，赞一个～～）. Either adults with their salary or children with their pocket money usually can not resist those strong temptations. In this case, the presentation of ads constantly  attract consumers ' attention and its progressive changes take place along with time goes on.

Admittedly, good ads with better expressions could cause great pleasure to citizens. Advertisements in the TV pose a major portion overall.we can appreciate lots of ads during the interludes When people are watching television. While some hold the opinion that there is no subtleties of those episodes, they could relieve viewers' fatigue and sometimes bring to inexpressible pleasure and fun and contributes to later relax atmosphere. Moreover better ads could enrich children 's life experience as well as creative objectives. If this is the case, certain active thinking and particular things invisible would be gradually transplanted into children 's mind.thus widening children 's view of the world.
这段我没明白跟题目的关系……

Finally, with the advent of better and better ads are created by designers,creative thinking would be penetrated into daily life and produce far-reaching imparts on the development of our society,therefore prolonging,enriching,and elevating the standard of our life. More and more achievements produce more strong impulse to instigate us to move forward constantly and efficiently in return, such circle greatly benefits us and our society.- h+ I: T% ]7 a) e8 R& _

In summary, judging from what have been discussed above,we can safely draw the conclusion that the advertisements usually present the produce better than what they really are. There is no denying this fact.

语言很强大，可我感觉是不是写的跟题目关系不大？？题目是说广告是将产品描述的更好了，然后，我记得原题前面有个do you agree or disagree？感觉LZ写的有点偏了，虽然写的很强大～～～～