2.9

mangohahaUID: 2758178

2.9 Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? People should not pay to the public transportation.
From personal perspective, I agree with the topic that the common should not pay to the public transporation. No matter from the angle of people or of official, free transporation would mean benefit to them and even the environment we live.

First of all, in modern society, transportation play a key role in people’s live which means people have to spend a part of their revenue on it. While in some speical situation, such as the financial crisis last year, most of people’s salary have decreased in different degrees. So free transporation would help people save money and recover from this crisis. Meanswhile, free transporation would be the motivation of encouraging people to go out for shopping. Hence, it would be helpful to boost the demand and finally improve the economy. Generally, we can see, the free transporation means so much for the individual and the society.

In addition, transporation in some cases can improve the quality of envirnoment and reduce the air-pollution. As the development of people’s live, private cars have increasingly exerted positive effect on daily work and life. But the pehnomenon also result in the environmental problems, such as global warming, acid rain and so forth. If the transporation is free, it would encourage people to take the public transporation. By this method, a large number of people could go out just in one car, which can effectively reduce the product of exhaust gas. In short, considering the growing problem of the environment，free transportation would be an effective means.

Lastly, as the leader of people, the work of official should be not only regulating people, but also bringing about benefit and welfare to them. Since people, as taxpayers, provide capital for society to build the harmonious society including health care, transportation and so on, so they have the right to enjoy these social welfares. Particularly, free transportation would an approach for the government to win the confidnece from its people. In general, government should cancel the fee of transportation.

Ultimately, I totally agree with the topic that public transportation should be free, which would benefit to society and environment. Especially in some special condition, free transportation would play the key role of helping government to benefit people.

奇流沙UID: 2698749

童鞋，好像按楼顺序三人一组的话，我们还是一组的说……所以不嫌弃的话，我就帮你改了哦……

奇流沙UID: 2698749

2.9
2.9 Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? People should not pay to the public transportation。
From personal perspective, I agree with the topic that the common should not pay to the public transportation. No matter from the angle of people or of official, free transportation would mean benefit to them and even the environment we live.
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First of all, in modern society, transportation plays a key role in people’s life which means people have to spend a part of their revenue on it. While in some special situation, such as the financial crisis last year, most of people’s salary salaries have decreased in different degrees. So free transportation would help people save money and recover from this crisis. Meanwhile, free transportation would be the motivation of encouraging people to go out for shopping. Hence, it would be helpful to boost the demand and finally improve the economy. Generally, we can see, the free transportation means so much for the individual and the society.
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In addition, transportation in some cases can improve the quality of environment and reduce the air-pollution. As the development of people’s lifve, private cars have increasingly exerted positive effect on daily work and life. But the (phenomenon) phenomenon also results in the environmental problems, such as global warming, acid rain and so forth. If the transportation is free, it would encourage people to take the public transportation. By this method, a large number of people could go out just in one car, which can effectively reduce the product of exhaust gas. In short, considering the growing problems of the environment，free transportation would be an effective means(这里没有说明清楚是对于什么问题的有效方法。如果我没理解错，应该是对于缓解环境问题或者是解决环境问题的有效方法，但是前面只是说considering the growing problems of the environment).
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9 v$ {: O7 C8 d6 y+ j5 Z! CLastly, as the leader of people,(后面一句的主语改成official是不是更好一点捏？因为前面说as the leader of people, 后面直接接上the work of official 是不是不大好) the work of official (the official’s work) should be not only regulating people, but also bringing about benefit and welfare to them.(提出的观点很好) Since people, as taxpayers, provide capital for society to build the harmonious society including health care, transportation and so on, so they have the right to enjoy these social welfares. Particularly, free transportation would provide an approach for the government to win the (confidnece) confidence from its people. In general, government should cancel the fee of transportation.
+ f  B* O3 {2 P) Q8 E8 N. s* y3 uUltimately, I totally agree with the topic that public transportation should be free, which would benefit (to) society and environment. Especially in some special condition, free transportation would play the key role of helping government to benefit people.
经典的五式三段论，但是每一段都很好的发挥了作用，而且童鞋的用词改善了很多的说！！有些词用的很好，学习！但是用长句子的时候，要注意主语谓语的指代情况，前后要一致的说~~

mangohahaUID: 2758178

3# 奇流沙
O(∩_∩)O~哎。。。
一般情况下，看我作文的人都比较辛苦，尤其是单词和语法上的错误
感谢你的评述。。。

tomatooUID: 2754865

From personal perspective, I agree with the topic that the common should not pay to the public transporation. No matter from the angle of people or of official, free transporation would mean benefit to them and even the environment we live.

First of all, in modern society, transportation plays a key role in people’s live which means people have to spend a part of their revenue on it. While in some speical situation, such as the financial crisis last year, most of people’s salary have decreased in different degrees. So free transporation would help people save money and recover from(go through) this crisis. Meanswhile, free transporation would be the motivation of encouraging people to go out for shopping(这个有点牵强，两者关系甚微，最好找些比较有说服力的). Hence, it would be helpful to boost the demand and finally improve the economy. Generally, we can see, the free transporation means so much for the individual and the society.# Z. b$ b( m& v$ t' B1 k

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In addition, transporation in some cases can improve the quality of envirnoment and reduce the air-pollution. As the development of people’s live, private cars have increasingly exerted positive effect on daily work and life. But the pehnomenon(phenomenon) also result in the environmental problems, such as global warming, acid rain and so forth. If the transporation is free, it would encourage people to take the public transporation. By this method, a large number of people could go out just in one car(vehicle), which can effectively reduce the product of exhaust gas. In short, considering the growing problem of the environment，free transportation would be an effective means.; \% W( d

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Lastly, as the leader of people, the work of official should be not only regulating people, but also bringing about benefit and welfare to them. Since people, as taxpayers, provide capital for society to build the harmonious society including health care, transportation and so on, so they have the right to enjoy these social welfares(since, so只要一个，因为所以不能一起用). Particularly, free transportation would（be） an approach for the government to win the confidnece（confidence） from its people. In general, government should cancel the fee of transportation.: C5 n$ v4 \7 ?1 A) y6 z

Ultimately, I totally agree with the topic that public transportation should be free, which would benefit to society and environment. Especially in some special condition, free transportation would play the key role of helping government to benefit people.

论点明确，论证中，第一点有点牵强，后两个很好。
不过文章忽略了public这个因素，这样会显得不够严密。公共交通免费和所有的交通免费会是不一样的概念。
有一点可以讨论一下，我也和你一样，用了which去指代整个句子，但最好是指代一个名词（我觉得这个是对的）。
还有一点就是，文中可以多些论证方法（除了道理论证），这样会显得丰富。（老外有多么的喜欢例子，我们大家都知道的。呵呵）
很好的一篇文章！