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[活动] 2.9-2.12 ;2.18-2.24作文互改作业 继续求拍--奇流沙 [复制链接]

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发表于 2010-2-9 22:24:12 |显示全部楼层
本帖最后由 奇流沙 于 2010-2-24 12:24 编辑

不开新贴了,顺便做记录(麻烦各位大人修改了……谢谢,鞠躬……ma~中途懒了四天嘻嘻~)

1楼---2.9   是否为公共交通付款
6楼---2.10 定期家庭聚餐
8楼---2.11  纸质书籍
12楼---2.12  存钱还是旅游度假
15楼---2.19 自信还是专业课程
18楼---2.18  交友
23楼---2.20 教师也应该获得与其他职业相同的工资

26楼---2.21 一次接一个还是同时做几个~

30楼---2.22 做决定

32楼---2.23 因为事情多只能做好很少一部分

35楼---2.24 搬or not


2.9/Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? People should not pay to the public transportation

As taking bus or subway becomes more convenient and cheaper, for example, in Beijing,an adult should only pay just 20 cents for bus riding, and 10 cents for a child, the public transportation plays a more and more significant role in the contemporary society. Since the price of such public transportation has became lower and lower, can we just cut it down? Or on the other saying, should people keep paying to the public transportation? In my opinion, people should pay.
More and more people treat public transportation as their first choice when they need to go out to somewhere. Everyday, the station has to accept large quantity of people. If people do not need to pay, the quantity may be larger and larger. I can even anticipate the chaos in every bus or subway station. Take the subway as instance. When people have to pay , they have to buy tickets and have to check in their tickets. The check-in machine with multi-passageway will slow down the speed of people stream to help allay the pressure of every station. The same problem will happen with bus station, too. Every passage has to put the equivalent coins into the check-in box or check their smart card to get on the bus. It will give the last passage enough time to look for the seat. In this aspect, I think the payment to the public transportation is necessary.
The public transportation needs professions to manipulate. In the station, the order needs to be kept, and public safety needs to be ensured, and the public health also needs to be maintained. Furthermore, the situation that people dropped into the orbit happened nearly every past year. Such emergency need professions to deal with, too. To feed these people, a large amount of money is indispensable. The basic maintenance of the public transportation also requires strong financial resource and manpower. These public measures can not be functioned only by the government. Such huge expense without income will break the balance of the national budget. At last, we still have to pay for the disequilibrium.
No matter in which aspect, social stability or the financial balance, people should pay to the public transportation.






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tomatoo + 1 好作文!

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发表于 2010-2-10 10:54:20 |显示全部楼层
As taking bus or subway becomes more convenient and cheaper, for example, in Beijing,an adult should only pay just(only, just要一个就行了) 20 cents for bus riding, and 10 cents for a child, the public transportation plays a more and more significant role in the contemporary society. Since the price of such public transportation has became lower and lower, can we just cut it down? Or on the other saying, should people keep paying to the public transportation? In my opinion, people should pay(观点非常明确).

More and more people treat public transportation as their first choice when they need to go out to somewhere. Everyday, the station has to accept large quantity of people. If people do not need to pay, the quantity may be larger and larger. I can even anticipate the chaos in every bus or subway station. Take the subway as instance. When people have to pay , they have to buy tickets and have to check in their tickets(check作检查讲是vt, 所以in不要,or, their tickets不要). The check-in machine with multi-passageway will slow down the speed of people stream to help allay the pressure of every station. The same problem will happen with bus station, too. Every passage(这个词没有乘客的意思,你是想说passenger?) has to put the equivalent coins into the check-in box or check their(前面是单数,这里换成the吧) smart card to get on the bus. It will give the last passage(passenger) enough time to look for the(a好一点) seat. In this aspect, I think the payment to the public transportation is necessary(论证充分).


The public transportation needs professions to manipulate. In the station, the order needs to be kept, and public safety needs to be ensured, and the public health also needs to be maintained(排比,很好啊). Furthermore, the situation that people dropped into the orbit happened nearly every past year. Such emergency need(单复数不一致) professions to deal with, too. To feed(这个feed合适吗?I am not sure.) these people, a large amount of money is indispensable. The basic maintenance of the public transportation also requires strong financial resource and manpower. These public measures can not be functioned only by the government. Such huge expense without income will break the balance of the national budget. At last, we still have to pay for the disequilibrium./ J7

w0 C8 K: W$ E; u
No matter in which aspect, social stability or the financial balance, people should pay to the public transportation.

很漂亮的文章!
论点,论证,句式,用词,都很好!
一点点小错误,呵呵!


我负责努力赚钱,也负责美丽妖娆。

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发表于 2010-2-10 18:15:34 |显示全部楼层
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? People should not pay to the public transportation?9 \! E2 W8 E- d$ n0 I$ r% E3 S
  l' J4 I8 |6 V8 E
378 字数还好,多些无妨O(∩_∩)O~
? 四段了呀? 换战术了呀(⊙o⊙)…
As taking bus or subway becomes more convenient and cheaper, for example, in Beijing,an adult should only pay just 20 cents for bus riding, and 10 cents for a child, the public transportation plays a more and more significant role in the contemporary society. Since the price of such public transportation has became lower and lower, can we just cut it down? Or on the other saying, should people keep paying to the public transportation? In my opinion, people should pay
本段介绍背景,提出观点.
More and more people treat public transportation as their first choice when they need to go out to somewhere. Everyday, the station has to accept large quantity of people. If people do not need to pay, the quantity may be larger and larger. I can even anticipate the chaos in every bus or subway station. Take the subway as instance. When people have to pay , they have to buy tickets and have to check in their tickets. The check-in machine with multi-passageway will slow down the speed of people stream to help allay the pressure of every station. The same problem will happen with bus station, too. Every passage has to put the equivalent coins into the check-in box or check their smart card to get on the bus. It will give the last passage enough time to look for the seat. In this aspect, I think the payment to the public transportation is necessary
嗯。。。感觉理由不是很有说服力,你说的问题可以通过很简单的方法解决.6 p. |1 q" Q% a. _+ q/ `
The public transportation needs professions to manipulate. In the station, the order needs to be kept, and public safety needs to be ensured, and the public health also needs to be maintained. Furthermore, the situation that people dropped into the orbit happened nearly every past year. Such emergency need professions to deal with, too. (前面的语言或说是例子的叙述可以简单些)To feed these people, a large amount of money is indispensable. The basic maintenance of the public transportation also requires strong financial resource and manpower. These public measures can not be functioned only by the government. Such huge expense without income will break the balance of the national budget. At last, we still have to pay for the disequilibrium
No matter in which aspect, social stability or the financial balance, people should pay to the public transportation.

嗯 思路没有很好的打开。。。如果从需要收费来看可以分为:政府,公交公司,个人三方面来看:

政府方面: 这部分收入可用于市民福利等。。。。
公交公司方面:需要提供员工薪水,器械维修,尤其是油价上涨的情况下。。。

个人方面:免费的transportation 将有可能导致浪费现象,即人们在很短的路程都坐车的形式。。。这样带来的恶果很多.
嗯。。。语言方面就不班门弄斧了。。。

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发表于 2010-2-10 18:16:14 |显示全部楼层
个人愚见。。。希望对您有帮助O(∩_∩)O~

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发表于 2010-2-10 20:31:31 |显示全部楼层
4# mangohaha

恩,我觉得你说的就是我也觉得自己不到家的地方啊……谢谢~

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发表于 2010-2-10 21:43:19 |显示全部楼层
懒得开新贴了……就贴在楼下了顺便做个记录~
2.10 Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? It is important for families to regularly eat their meals together.

  With no doubt that I support the assertion which is asserted. It is important for families to regularly eat their meals together.
  For the nuclear family, in the mode of a husband and a wife and their children, having their dinner together is fundamental. But sometimes, they will be too busy to have dinner together. As in the families’ daytime, they have to work or study hard to make their life better. They do not have much time to talk with each other about their work, their school, the fresh things happened during the daytime. Eating meal together regularly gives the family chances to share and communicate. It will not take long, and is a doable mean to get to know each other. Lots of problems can be solved on the eating table. I have had a fight with my dad a month ago. I do not even remember what makes me nuts to quarrel with him. At that time, I refuse to talk with my dad any more. Until one day, my dad came to me and said that the meal had been cooked. During the meal, I said sorry to my dad. Eating with family regularly not only can fic the relationship between the families, but also means that one cares about the family indeed.
  The extended family which contains several nuclear families needs to regularly dine together more than ever. These nuclear families usually do not live together. They disperse in a city or several cities. Having meals together will become a happy time to meet the relatives. It helps reinforce the relationship between blood relatives. Those who do not contact with one other in the common time have opportunity to communicate. Furthermore, the problem a person met with in common time can be solved with the help of the whole family: many hands make light work. In China, we have a costume to meet every blood relatives during the Spring Festival and eat together. And I usually call my aunt and uncle and cousin to have meals together in my grandparents’ house. Eating together makes it easy to keep up the relationship.
  It is easy for people to find the common talking topic on the eating table. As friends need to have meals together regularly, no to mention the families. In my perspective, it is not only important but also essential to eat meals with families together.

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发表于 2010-2-11 16:07:29 |显示全部楼层
With no doubt that I support the assertion which is asserted. It is important for families to regularly eat their meals together.
呵呵 很简洁的开头。。。
  For the nuclear family, in the mode of a husband and a wife and their children, having their dinner together is fundamental. But sometimes, they will be too busy to have dinner together. As in the families’ daytime, they have to work or study hard to make their life better. They do not have much time to talk with each other about their work, their school, the fresh things happened during the daytime. Eating meal together regularly gives the family chances to share and communicate. It will not take long, and is a doable mean to get to know each other. Lots of problems can be solved on the eating table(这句话可以做本段的观点,而且很好,应该放在开头,让人找的好苦啊). I have had a fight with my dad a month ago. I do not even remember what makes me nuts to quarrel with him. At that time, I refuse to talk with my dad any more. Until one day, my dad came to me and said that the meal had been cooked. During the meal, I said sorry to my dad. Eating with family regularly not only can fic the relationship between the families, but also means that one cares about the family indeed.4 [/ s0 z9 v/ ?9 J% K" k  r/ @
  The extended family which contains several nuclear families needs to regularly dine together more than ever. These nuclear families usually do not live together. They disperse in a city or several cities. Having meals together will become a happy time to meet the relatives. It helps reinforce the relationship between blood relatives. Those who do not contact with one other in the common time have opportunity to communicate. Furthermore, the problem a person met with in common time can be solved with the help of the whole family: many hands make light work. In China, we have a costume to meet every blood relatives during the Spring Festival and eat together. And I usually call my aunt and uncle and cousin to have meals together in my grandparents’ house. Eating together makes it easy to keep up the relationship.
整体上看,和上段的论点有些许重复,尤其是最后一句让你的第二段和第一段的观点几乎相同,如果想表现的是全文的主观点,即有助于家庭和睦,这样的总结也应该放到尾段吧。。。首句依然不是论点, 这段应该是上一段的升华,话题的深入。。。
  It is easy for people to find the common talking topic on the eating table. As friends (文章没有提到friends 就不能出现在尾端,这样有些危险)need to have meals together regularly, no to mention the families. In my perspective, it is not only important but also essential to eat meals with families together.

总的来说,主要问题是提纲上面,论证的例子,语言都没什么问题
O(∩_∩)O~ 加油

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发表于 2010-2-11 22:21:24 |显示全部楼层
本帖最后由 奇流沙 于 2010-2-12 09:38 编辑

2.11 Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? In 20 years from now on, students will not use printed books anymore.


Will student still use printed books in 20 years from now on? Some people hold the positive attitude. But I support the assertion that students will not use paper books any more in 20 years from now on.What will happen in the future can not be exactly predicted, however, such anticipation may be reasonable.

First of all, in consideration of the environmental problems, the anticipation will happen in that time. Since the global green has become a trend, the trees are more and more important as time goes. If the printed books are still in the list of the students’ reading plan, large amount of trees are certainly needed. To read a printed book really wastes the student’s time as there are always something they want to and do not want to read. For reading just part of the book, students have to buy the whole book.


Some people may give the opponent perspective that students can get the books from the library, they do not need to buy the whole book. Yes, library exists in nearly every school. However, as the internet appears, lots of schools begin to use the electric library. The electric library may replace the real library in someday in the future. To keep up the library, the school has to put a huge budget in maintaining it. Borrowing and returning the books need manpower to manipulate. Cleaning bookshelves or the library and arranging the returned books need someone to manage, too. Such revenue can be cut down if the electric library applied into practice.


And Picking out the information they need in the thick book wastes the time which they can spend on other useful information. Furthermore, the appearance of computer and Internet gives the students a convenient and time-saving way to get what they want, not to mention the powerful software which can help the students to load the electric books and locate to the useful parts. In general, I think students can learn more from the Internet than the printed books.


Some parents may be worried about the kids’ sight a lot if the printed books are replaced by Internet information. In my view, in 20 years, the computers may be equipped with newly invented material to help protect human’s sight. We can not just depend on the printed books to protect the kids’ sight conventionally. We can solve the problem with the improving technology.



To sum up, the printed books will be no more a mean for students to get what they want to learn. Other resources like Internet or something even more advanced may replace the paper books which are not convenient or environmental friendly.

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发表于 2010-2-12 12:35:02 |显示全部楼层
Will student still use printed books in 20 years from now on? Some people hold the positive attitude. But I support the assertion that students will not use paper books any more in 20 years from now on(from now on可以删去 否则看着有些重复). What will happen in the future can not be exactly predicted, however, such anticipation may be reasonable.

First of all, in consideration of the environmental problems, the anticipation will happen in that time. Since the global green has become a trend, the trees are more and more important as time goes. If the printed books are still in the list of the students’ reading plan, large amount of trees are certainly needed. To read(Reading) a printed book readlly wastes the student’s time as there are always something they want to and do not want to read. For reading just part(parts) of the book, students have to buy the whole book.

Some people may give the opponent perspective that students can get the books from the library, they do not need to buy the whole book. (这好像算不上是opponent perspective吧)Yes, library exists in nearly every school. However, as the internet appears, lots of schools begin to use the electric library. The electric library may replace the real library in(划掉) someday in the future. To keep up the library, the school has to put a huge budget in maintaining it. (What’s more, the school has to make a huge budget in order to maintain the library.) Borrowing and returning the books need manpower to manipulate. Cleaning bookshelves or the library and arranging the returned books need someone to manage, too. Such revenue can be cut down if the electric library applied into practice. And Picking out the information they need in (from) the thick book wastes the time which they can spend on other useful information.

Furthermore, the appearance of computer and Internet gives the students a convenient and time-saving way to get what they want, not to mention the powerful software which can help the students to load the electric books and locate to the useful parts. In general, I think students can learn more from the Internet than the printed books. Some parents may be worried about the kids’ sight a lot if the printed books are replaced by Internet information. In my view, in 20 years, the computers may be equipped with newly invented material to help protect human’s sight. We can not just depend on the printed books to protect the kids’ sight conventionally. We can solve the problem with the improving technology.

To sum up, the printed books will be no more a mean for students to get what they want to learn.(the printed books will not the only way for students to get what they want.这句不太明白想要说什么 我按照自己的理解又写了一句) Other resources like Internet or something even more advanced may replace the paper books which are not convenient or environmental friendly.

谢耳朵姑娘(抱歉我这么称呼你 因为读文章时我通篇带入谢耳朵的口气= =)的思路是20年后纸质书将被取代
第二段:由于环境问题越来越严重 大量的纸质书会消耗木材 而且大多时候我们只需要看书的一部分内容 因此没有买书的必要性
第三段:有人提出可以去图书馆借书 姑娘反驳维持一个图书馆需要耗费大量的人力物力(这一段好像跟主题没太大关系啊)
第四段:姑娘说人们可以通过网络获取想要的知识 家长担心视力问题(《===私以为视力这一段完全可以划掉)

我觉得姑娘与其之前花大量笔墨写图书馆的问题不如转移重点多多写下计算机和互联网的段子

废柴一枚 能力有限 姑娘见谅

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发表于 2010-2-12 13:43:13 |显示全部楼层

Will student still use printed books in 20 years from now on? Some people hold the positive attitude. But I support the assertion that students will not use paper books any more in 20 years from now on.What will happen in the future can not be exactly predicted, however, such anticipation may be reasonable. 这个引出方式很好

First of all, in consideration of the environmental problems, the anticipation will happen in that time.(这个句子是不是太中国化了?) Since the global green has become a trend, the trees are more and more important as time goes. If the printed books are still in the list of the students’ reading plan(好), large amounts of trees are certainly needed. To read a printed book really wastes the student’s time as there are always something they want to and do not want to read. For reading just part of the book, students have to buy the whole book.


Some people may give the opponent perspective that students can get the books from the library, they do not need to buy the whole book. Yes, Admittedly, (library exists in nearly every school.这句也挺中文的) However, as the internet appears, lots of schools begin to use the electric library. The electric library may replace the real library in someday in the future. To keep up the library, the school has to put a huge budget in maintaining it. Borrowing and returning the books need manpower to manipulate. Cleaning bookshelves or the library and arranging the returned books need someone to manage, too. Such revenue can be cut down if the electric library applied into practice.

6 i+ e* X+ L, v3 d2 p; }1 V
And Picking out the information they need in the thick book wastes the time which they can spend on other useful information. Furthermore, the appearance of computer and Internet gives the students a convenient and time-saving way to get what they want, not to mention the powerful software which can help the students to load the electric books and locate to the useful parts. In general, I think students can learn more from the Internet than the printed books.


; ?1 B& c0 y( h& F% I4 k

Some parents may be worried about the kids’ sight a lot if the printed books are replaced by Internet information. In my view, in 20 years, the computers may be equipped with newly invented material to help protect human’s sight from computer radiation. We can not just depend on the printed books to protect the kids’ sight conventionally. We can ,but solve the problem with the improving technology.

. S( v5 [$ [+ e2 l. @
* W. ?/ ~  w% V  D6 N! P% D1 L$ U

To sum up, the printed books will be no more a mean for students to get what they want to learn. Other resources like Internet or something even more advanced may replace the paper books which are not convenient or environmental friendly.

我没有写过这种中立的文章(说实话啊我也不知道你到底是什么态度(文章结构有点奇怪)

从主体段开始:

1.说了2个纸书的坏处;不环保/浪费时间

2.先抑后扬,说电子图书馆的好处

3.纸书费时间;电子书查找信息方便

4.提出电子书和internet对视力会有影响,但是应该会有新科技来解决这个问题

我觉得每段的论述都不集中:你看第1段说过浪费时间,第3段反回来又说费时间  不是重复吗?

为什么不开始把纸书的坏处一块说完

然后对比电子书 把它的好处也一块说完

最后说下家长对电子书的造成的视力问题的担心 但是也有方法解决

这样的结构不是会更加清楚吗?

语法没有什么错误;但是不少造句有中文的倾向 

个人意见 供参考:)

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发表于 2010-2-12 20:10:45 |显示全部楼层
首先向楼主道个歉,昨天有事没能及时帮你改作业,今天一回来就来看,见谅!
With no doubt that I support the assertion which is asserted. It is important for families to regularly eat their meals together.

For the nuclear family, in the mode of a husband and a wife and their children, having their dinner together is fundamental. But sometimes, they will be too busy to have dinner together. As in the families’ daytime, they have to work or study hard to make their life better. They do not have much time to talk with each other about their work, their school, the fresh things happened during the daytime. Eating meal together regularly gives the family chances to share and communicate. It will not take long, and is a doable mean(学习了) to get to know each other. Lots of problems can be solved on the eating table. I have had a fight with my dad a month ago. I do not even remember what makes me nuts(请教) to quarrel with him. At that time, I refuse to talk with my dad any more. Until one day, my dad came to me and said that the meal had been cooked. During the meal, I said sorry to my dad. Eating with family regularly not only can fic(??) the relationship between the families, but also means that one cares about the family indeed.( ~& V% ]4 t$ s
  
The extended family which contains several nuclear families needs to regularly dine together more than ever. These nuclear families usually do not live together. They disperse in a city or several cities. Having meals together will become a happy time to meet the relatives. It helps reinforce the relationship between blood relatives. Those who do not contact with one other in the common time have opportunity to communicate. Furthermore, the problem a person met with in common time can be solved with the help of the whole family: many hands make light work. In China, we have a costume to meet every blood relatives during the Spring Festival and eat together. And I usually call my aunt and uncle and cousin to have meals together in my grandparents’ house. Eating together makes it easy to keep up the relationship. % J( V) x! U$ N- ~& Z

It is easy for people to find the common talking topic on the eating table. As friends need to have meals together regularly, no to mention the families. In my perspective, it is not only important but also essential to eat meals with families together.
楼主的功底真的很好,佩服!而且做事态度也很认真的说。
词汇运用娴熟,组织结构新颖,逻辑明确!
学习了!
A river is made drop by drop.

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发表于 2010-2-12 21:52:43 |显示全部楼层
本帖最后由 奇流沙 于 2010-2-12 22:06 编辑

2.12 Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? It is better to spend money on traveling and vacation than to save money for the future.
(今天这一篇不知道怎么跟挤牙膏一样写不出来啊………郁闷,憋了一个小时之久严重超时……发下牢骚……)
Someone likes traveling, which helps one get rid of the hard work and accumulate pressure in normal time; someone likes saving money for the future, in case of emergency and planning for the future life. I think it seems not easy to judge which is better. But if I do not have that much money, I’d like to save it for the future.

Vacation brings people the chance to relax themselves. It always means one can do whatever they dreamed to do. Give the tired body some extra sports like hiking, drive the frustration away from one’s mind and harvest the happiness and good mood. Take myself as instance, I like traveling very much. During my last summer, I went to the Taishan Mountain with my friends. The landscape I saw when I was hiking impressed me a lot. After I got to the peak of the mountain, I felt exhausted, such exhaustion was totally different from that comes form the normal life. However, the reason of why I could enjoy myself to all at that time is kind of that I do not worry about the money. My parents helped arrange all the expense.

If I have to pay for such a travel myself, I would think it about that whether I should spend so much money on playing and relaxing. Since I do not have the ability to keep my life and earn money, I think I will choose to keep the money for other purposes.

People have to plan for the future. Though enough money can not bring us happiness, it can at least ensure our life. For most people, the spiritual enjoyment has to be built upon the material life. Spending ten thousands on traveling or saving it for further education, the answer is easy to be chosen. Now I am going to study abroad, my parents saved money for me as the tuition. It makes me guilty and gives me the firmness to study hard. In such an aspect, I do think saving money for future is more important.

To sum up, though traveling can give us a lot, saving money for the future is more meaningful and more important to me. So I undoubtedly insist that saving money is better.

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发表于 2010-2-12 22:32:47 |显示全部楼层
本帖最后由 小心littleheart 于 2010-2-12 22:33 编辑

2.11 Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? In 20 years from now on, students will not use printed books anymore.
Will students still use printed books in 20 years from now on? Some people hold the positive attitude. But I support the assertion that students will not use paper books any more in 20 years from now on(删掉,否则重复). What will happen in the future cannot be exactly predicted, however, such anticipation may be reasonable. (哪种预测啊?前面不是说不能预测嘛?现在怎么又说这种预测reasonable?观点不太明确啊~)
First of all, in consideration of the environmental problems, the anticipation (最好指出是哪种预测,不然有指代不明的嫌疑~)will happen in that time. Since the global green has become a trend, the trees are (加个becoming) more and more important as time goes(by). If the printed books are still in the list of the students’ reading plan, large amount of trees are certainly needed (如果是我,我会这么写large amount of trees are required to be cut down). (加个连接词 Meanwhile) reading printed books really wastes the student’s time as there are always something they want to and do not want to read. For reading (In order to read) just part of the book, students have to buy the whole book.(这个论点应该再加个结论,使之完整)
Some people may give the opponent perspective that students can get the books from the library, they do not need to buy the whole book. Yes, library exists in nearly every school. However, as the internet appears(要是我,会用with the advent of Internet), lots of schools begin to use the electric library. The electric library may replace the real(用traditional) library in someday in the future. To keep up the library, the school has to put a huge budget in maintaining it. Borrowing and returning the books need manpower to manipulate. Cleaning bookshelves or the library and arranging the returned books need someone to manage, too. Such revenue can be cut down if the electric library applied into practice.(很好的表达~)
And Picking out the information they need in the thick book wastes the time which they can spend on other useful information(我没文化,不确定这样用可以?). Furthermore, the appearance of computer and Internet gives the students a convenient and time-saving way to get what they want, not to mention the powerful software which can help the students to load the electric books and ( 可以加个副词,表达更清楚~quickly) locate to the useful parts. In general, I think students can learn more from the Internet than the printed books.
Some parents may be worried about the kids’ sight a lot if the printed books are replaced by Internet information. In my view, in 20 years, the computers may be equipped with newly invented material to help(用从句形式,which are beneficial to human’s sight) protect human’s sight. We cannot (怎么能用cannot呢?语气不对啊,这里表示的是没必要的意思) just depend on the printed books to protect the kids’ sight conventionally. We can solve the problem with the improving technology.  
To sum up, the printed books will be no more a mean for students to get what they want to learn. Other resources like Internet or something even more advanced may replace the paper books which are not convenient or (这样有些怪,可替换成neither…nor…)environmental friendly.
文章整体比较充实,内容,主题也不错,看出楼主是下了大工夫的。只是结构有些乱, 在结构方面,我比较同意楼上的说法,那样的话让人觉得更清晰。语言有很多都有直译的嫌疑,在这方面楼主应该在加强一下~个人拙见,谢谢~

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IBT Zeal

发表于 2010-2-13 09:42:28 |显示全部楼层
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发表于 2010-2-17 20:36:42 |显示全部楼层
本帖最后由 奇流沙 于 2010-2-19 22:14 编辑

眼泪了,我把2.19的题目搞混到今天来写了…………麻烦各位了~今才发现……

2.19 Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? It is more important for a teacher to help students gain self-confidence than to teach them specific knowledge?

Nowadays, being a good teacher is harder and harder. A teacher has to be a good friend with his or her students, sometimes even the act the role as the students’ parents. Help the students to gain their self-confidence seems to be the teachers’ obligation. Is it more important for a teacher to help students gain their self-confidence than to teach them specific knowledge, which used to be the teachers’ original job?
In my view, helping students gain self-confidence is crucial for their growing. Not only the teacher but also the parents and the whole society have the duty to help the kids gain self-confidence. Comparatively speaking, self-confidence is a significant quality of a successful man. How to help students gain self-confidence? I think it is more difficult than gain some substances. Imaginably, different children may require different concepts to judge what can make them feel confident. Some need to make great achievements, some need to reach their goals, and some just need to be praised. Even the parents can not handle it, not to mention the teachers who should take care of the whole class.
If helping students gain confidence becomes the main job of teachers, they would not have enough energy to deal with the courses. In my opinion, it is teaching the students proper courses and specific knowledge which should be the most important responsibility of the teachers. As the teacher is called, their main an aboriginal duty is to teach other than anything. The parents send their children to school to learn more knowledge they can not get from the society just like the theories and concepts of the basic principles. In my senior school, I have met with a teacher with charming personality who teaches me literature. I respect her as she taught us not only the knowledge about the art and the literature, but also the philosophy of being a good person. Without any doubt, she did help us gain self-confidence. But in most of the time, she taught us the useful knowledge about her course. I thanked for her wisdom to learn a lot things.
Though the teacher should teach the students something more than those just about the courses, their main task is still to teach the students specific and useful knowledge. But if the teacher does not ever give me some other knowledge than just the courses, I would never talk to him when I met him on the street.

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RE: 2.9-2.12 ;2.18-2.24作文互改作业 继续求拍--奇流沙 [修改]

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