argument173 留链回拍！

plukaUID: 2721764

173、The following is a memorandum issued by the publisher of a newsmagazine, Newsbeat, in the country of Dinn. "Our poorest-selling magazine issues over the past three years were those that featured international news stories on their front covers. Over the same period, competing news-magazines have significantly decreased the number of cover stories that they devote to international news. Moreover, the cost of maintaining our foreign bureaus to report on international news is increasing. Therefore, we should decrease our emphasis on international news and refrain from displaying such stories on our magazine covers."

1、不能证明卖的不好是因为用国际新闻当封面故事。
2、对手减少国际新闻封面不能说明什么。
3、驻外处上涨不能代表需要减少国际新闻数量。

15.23-15.56   33分钟，424字 包括看题目看提纲。
In this argument, the author presumptuously ascribes the failure in magazine sales to covers that featured international news. Then, suggesting rival’s decreased number of international news cover and citing the upswing cost of foreign bureaus, the author concludes that emphasis on international news should be suspended. He commites several fallacies as follows. 15.28

First, the cause-and-effect relationship between international news covers and decline in sales is not well-founded. The author fails to factor in other situations that may lead to same decrease. Perhaps contents of those magazines were falling out of favor: perhaps there was change in collumn arrangement or article selections that provoke consumers’ discontent. Besides, the author offers insufficient statistics about covers for both well-sale and unwelcomed ones. Possibly, there were still many magazines that featured international news in cover enjoy popularity among subscribers. If any above was that case, it would be unfair to owe the plummeting sales merely to the selection of cover. 15.34

Second, the author indicate that his company should follow suit after competing magazines. This assumption is not well substantiated. We are not informed of neither the cause nor the consequence of rival’s decision on cutting international news covers. Perhaps they did this for the sake of saving money, yet was out of reluctance. Perhaps after the cutting, their sales suffered. As the author presents no evidence on the benefit bring from the less amount of international news covers, I am not convinced of the validity of his proposal. 15.41

Third, a rising cost of foreign bureau is insufficient to justify the suspension of that office. From the outset, reasons for the rising cost remains untold. If, for example, the office was refurnishing its equipment and making staple supplement, then the high cost, which might turn out to be well worthwhile, would not last long. Another possibility is that when the country where the office is located was at war, which gave rise to surging budget of the bureau. Yet along with it might come worthy opportunities for the magazine to have up to date reports, which would be popular for readers and thus bring more revenue and reputation for the magazine. Hence it is clear: without clarify situations of the foreign bureau, a suspension would be too hasty. 15,51

As discussed above, the author mistakenly posits his proposal on inadequate information of magazines, incomplete comparison to competing magazines, and hasty judgment for situation of foreign bureau. Before rushing to conclusion, he may as well search for facts on points mentioned above and ponder them appropriately. 15.56

请下重手，留链回拍！

ieyangj08UID: 2743219

In this argument, the author presumptuously ascribes the failure in magazine sales to covers that featured international news. Then, suggesting rival’s decreased number of international news cover and citing the upswing cost of foreign bureaus, （略有冗余，蓝色部分可以省略。个人欣赏简洁的开头。BTW增加作者的推理过程写不好容易犯错）the author concludes that emphasis on international news should be suspended. He/she (作者未必一定是男性) commites several fallacies as follows.


First, the cause-and-effect relationship between international news covers and decline in sales is not well-founded. （因果关系未必成立，观点很好，精确，无可辩驳）The author fails to factor in other situations that may lead to same decrease. （此句一般用于多种可能式错误，用在这里也可以，但是否要在两句间加入过渡性论述句）Perhaps contents of those magazines were falling out of favor: perhaps there was change in collumn arrangement or article selections that provoke consumers’ discontent. Besides, the author offers insufficient statistics about covers for both well-sale and unwelcomed ones. Possibly, there were still many magazines that featured international news in cover enjoy popularity among subscribers. If any above was that case, it would be unfair to owe the plummeting（文中未提销量是突然下降，添加多余词汇会影响论证的严密性，建议删除）
sales merely to the selection of cover.


Second, the author indicate (indicates) that his company should follow suit after competing magazines. This assumption is not well substantiated. (段首句给出的不是作者的一个假设，所以此处的this assumption 指代不合适。应该是假设“对手的销量好”。突然觉得段落主题句和文章主题句很重要，只有非常精准，才能保证后续的论证足够有力。) We are not informed of neither the cause nor the consequence of rival’s decision on cutting international news covers. Perhaps they did this for the sake of saving money, yet was out of reluctance. Perhaps after the cutting, their sales suffered. As the author presents no evidence on the benefit bring from the less amount of international news covers, I am not convinced of the validity of his proposal.


Third, a rising cost of foreign bureau is insufficient to justify the suspension of that office. （主题句很精准，无可挑剔）From the outset, reasons for the rising cost remains untold. If, for example, the office was refurnishing its equipment and making staple supplement, then the high cost, which might turn out to be well worthwhile, would not last long. Another possibility is that when the country where the office is located was at war, which gave rise to surging budget of the bureau. （为什么战争就要花费多，至少俺不能理解，推理有断层，应补充）Yet along with it might come worthy opportunities for the magazine to have up to date reports, which would be popular for readers and thus bring more revenue and reputation for the magazine. Hence it is clear: without clarify situations of the foreign bureau, a suspension would be too hasty.


As discussed above, the author mistakenly posits his proposal on inadequate information of magazines, incomplete comparison to competing magazines, and hasty judgment for situation of foreign bureau. Before rushing to conclusion, he may as well search for facts on points mentioned above and ponder them appropriately.

plukaUID: 2721764

战争难道花费不会增加吗= =自卫啥的也会艰难一些吧...哦...