issue170【clover】第四次小组作业 by 桔子susan

桔子susanUID: 2754084

170."The surest indicator of a great nation is not the achievements of its rulers, artists, or scientists, but the general welfare of all its people."



When we describe a nation as a building, the general welfare of all its people is the foundation of the building, and the achievements of its rulers, artists, or scientists are the appearance and repute of the buiding. To judge a building is a great one or not, we should consider its long-term impact on the architecture. And the appearance and repute are the visible and surest indicators.

First of all, without a firm foundation, a great building could not stand up for a long time. The general welfare of all its people is an indispensable part of a great nation. The reason is obvious, none of nations existing in the history or at present can go further without the support from their people. Barely can we imagine that a nation without ample strength to satisfy their people, could make remarkble achievements to the world and have far-reaching influnce in a considerable long time. To illustrate, some Africa nations are labored to provide general welfare of all its people, even they have a scant number of great rulers, no one would define them as great nations. Because they could not promise themselves to have a steady environment to develop, just like the building without firm foundation would break down in no time.

However, a buiding only with firm foundation could not be a great building, for it has no attractive characteristic and significant impact. A nation without great achievements and influence, people won’t classify it as a great nation. For instance, the United Arab Emirates, one of the richest nations in the world, people living there have abundant welfare, limousines could see on the street everywhere. But hardly can you associate it with great notion for the reason that the United Arab Emirates make few contribution to the development of world. As a result the general welfare of all its people can not be a surest indicator of agreat nation.

As I mentioned at beginning, only a building with long-term impact on the architecture could be a great building. A great nation should have significant achivements and boost the development of world. Ancient Greece, ancient Babylon, ancient Egypt, and ancient China, this four of which stand for the top achievements in human' history and affect our descendents greatly. The invention of letter, paper, and some political systrems are stll exert influece at present. Their achievements of their rulers, artists, or scientists make great contribution to the world. Consquently, the surest indicators of a great nation are its rulers, artists, or scientists which could benenfit human beings for a long period. These indicators could be visible and judged by the afterworld.

In conclusion, the general welfare of all its people indicates a great nations’ foundation, but not the surest indicator. An indicator should be easily judged not only by the contemporaries but also the afterworld. As a consequent, the achievements of rulers, artists, or scientists would be the surest indicator of a great country.

cyctUID: 2728144

改版

a08805436UID: 2725634

170."The surest indicator of a great nation is not the achievements of its rulers, artists, or scientists, but the general welfare of all its people."

When we describe a nation as a building, the general welfare of all its people is the foundation of the building, and the achievements of its rulers, artists, or scientists are the appearance and repute of the building. To judge a building is a great one or not, we should consider its long-term impact on the architecture. And the appearance and repute are the visible and surest indicators.


First of all, without a firm foundation, a great building could not stand up for a long time. The general welfare of all its people is an indispensable part of a great nation. The reason is obvious: none of nations existing in the history or at present can go further without the support from their people. Barely can we imagine that a nation without ample strength to satisfy
people, could make remarkable achievements to the world and have far-reaching influence in a considerable long time. To illustrate, some Africa nations are labored to provide general welfare of all its people, even they have a scant number of great rulers, no one would define them as great nations. Because they could not promise themselves to have a steady environment to develop, just like the building without firm foundation would break down in no time.

However, a building only with firm foundation could not be a great building, for it has no attractive characteristic and significant impact. A nation without great achievements and influence, people won’t classify it as a great nation. For instance, the United Arab Emirates, one of the richest nations in the world, people living there have abundant welfare, limousines could see on the street everywhere. But hardly can you associate it with great notion (nation) for the reason that the United Arab Emirates make little contribution to the development of world. As a result the general welfare of all its people can not (cannot) be a surest indicator of a great nation.

As I mentioned at beginning, only a building with long-term impact on the architecture could be a great building. A great nation should have significant achievements and boost the development of world. Ancient Greece, ancient Babylon, ancient Egypt, and ancient China, this four of which stand for the top achievements in human' history and affect our descendents greatly. The invention of letter, paper, and some political systems are still exerting influence at present. Their achievements of their rulers, artists, or scientists make great contribution to the world. Consequently, the surest indicators of a great nation are its rulers, artists, or scientists which could benefit human beings for a long period. These indicators could be visible and judged by the afterworld.

In conclusion, the general welfare of all its people indicates a great nations’ foundation, but not the surest indicator. An indicator should be easily judged not only by the contemporaries but also the afterworld. As a consequent, the achievements of rulers, artists, or scientists would be the surest indicator of a great country.

这篇文章第一遍读的时候没有任何问题，
但是第二遍细细读来，发现逻辑很好，但是阐述方面没有写清楚。
题目说的问题是：welfare 和achievements 哪一个才是The surest indicator
作者开篇便确定观点 –> 是achievements
写到这里
下面就要来讨论 why-> 为什么是achievements
。在第三段中，论述United Arab Emirates 的例子
谈到为什么时
用一句话概括为：
the United Arab Emirates make little contribution to the development of world
认为论证稍弱，多挖一下例子比较好
接下来第四段，谈到四大文明古国时提到论据：The invention of letter, paper, and some political systems are still exerting influence at present.
觉得这个论据
说明了 science 和 political 的东西，但是对art没提到。扣题略显不严。
此外，觉得对welfare的理解有偏差：在第三段中说到United Arab Emirates的例子For instance, the United Arab Emirates, one of the richest nations in the world, people living there have abundant welfare, limousines could see on the street everywhere.（有limousines似乎只是welfare的一个方面，welfare的定义觉得要点出来）


以上都是小问题，总的来说，这篇逻辑是很严密的

By a08805436

桔子susanUID: 2754084

楼上的两位同学指出的问题很到位呢，非常感谢啊。今天有事耽搁了，第一遍还没有来得及改，我马上去修改去。