Phoenix小组组员2号第一次I习作

wu-intrepidUID: 2659758

ISSUE130 - "Howchildren are socialized today determines the destiny of society. Unfortunately,we have not yet learned how to raise children who can help bring about a bettersociety."


Nowadays, investingeducation is investing the tomorrow of society, since good education will helpschildren become a useful people who can move society forward. Socialization thereforeare significant and influence our society profoundly. Yet socialization cannotreplace the whole picture of education. Unless we realize that, we cannot deepenour knowledge about how to raise children.

Since socializationmeans making children fitted and trained for society, children who aresocialized should fit and benefit society. Supposing a social is a machine, andchildren are sorts of energies, then socialization should be like a converter whichconverts energies into suitable powers for machine. And if without this properconversion, the energy will not be used of and be wasted. Therefore,socializing children is the key to improve social. Plato, for instance, afamous educator and philosopher, put forward his theory of socialization, inorder to built a rational country. He thought each person should be trained byhis or her unique specialty and characteristics, then each one would have acertain job, just suit for oneself, and the society arriving at peakefficiency. Even though his thoughts are considered ideal and impossible toachieve, we still can find something useful that socialization is vital mediumthat make people available, as more as possible, to promote the efficiency ofsociety.



However, it is notenough to foster society progress just depend on socialization. Because educationincludes socialization, besides, according to John Dewey, it is aboutpsychology too. He
thought every child wasbored with own potential, to which we should educate them according. For interestis the best teacher, doing one’s favorite will be easy to concentrate and willto spend more time learning it. Thus, we should try to develop children by theirintentions. But, in actual life, many trouble we cannot overcome, such as themeans of discovering children’s thoughts, limits of teaching source and funds. Takingthe curricula-variable for example, we also know clearly, it is not perfect. Ifthere are only 5 students choosing course of archaeology, which may be canceledfor so small student number, and who
registering this course will be compelled toalter their choices and reselect some other courses which they are not good ator favorite. Then these students maybe miss their suitable and learning wellcourse, doing badly in the selected course. That is not the fault of their, butof schools, of educators. Thus, in this side, it is quite necessary to takeactions to perfect our education.


Though we have tocommit the shortcomings in the existing education, due to a good education is socomplex and complicated. It does not indicate we are failed and hopeless makingchildren to bring about a better society. In fact, numerous examples prove ourefforts and successes in this aspect. Even the flawed curricula-variableinstitution is a step forward. In this case, students have freedom to choosecourses which they like or suit for them, instead what they are weak in. It willenhance their initiative and enthusiasm . So we should and we can make progressby our efforts to educate better, to discover and train their talents, andto create our society.




To sum up, education is not only aboutbring children to create society, but find ways to discover children’sadvantage, and make an free environment to develop it. Though we still notachieve these goals, and seems not to achieve in a short time. It is worthy andhopeful as long as we work harder.

wilber5945UID: 2709861

批改：
1.感觉文章论述的还是比较充分的，就是语言的运用上还要再锤炼。
2.写完习作后，请先复制到WORD上，用工具菜单栏里的拼写检查先过一遍。

Nowadays, investing education is investing the tomorrow of society, since good education will helps children become a useful people who can move society forward. Socialization therefore are significant and influence our society profoundly. Yet socialization cannot replace the whole picture of education. Unless we（删除） realize that, we cannot deepen our knowledge about how to raise children.

Since socialization means making children fitted and trained for society, children who aresocialized should fit and benefit society. Supposing a social is a machine, and children are sorts of energies, then socialization should be like a converter whichconverts energies into suitable powers for machine. And if without this proper conversion, the energy will not be used of and be wasted. (GOOD METAPHOR)Therefore, socializing children is the key to improve social（society）. Plato, for instance, a famous educator and philosopher, put forward his theory of socialization, inorder to built a rational country. He thought each person should be trained by his or her unique specialty and characteristics, then each one would have acertain job, just suit for oneself, and the society arriving at peak
efficiency.（不明白这里柏拉图的例子和前面所说的孩子社会化才是推进社会的重点有什么论证关系？） Even though his thoughts are considered ideal and impossible toachieve, we still can find something useful that socialization is vital medium that make people available, as more as possible, to promote the efficiency of
society.(没读懂，不敢武断的说有错，建议仔细看看。) However, it is notenough to foster society progress just depend on socialization. Because education
includes socialization, besides, according to John Dewey, it is about psychology too. He thought every child was
bored（born?） with own potential, to which we should educate them according. For interest is the best teacher, doing one’s favorite will be easy to concentrate and will to spend more time learning it. Thus, we should try to develop children by their intentions. But, in actual life, many trouble we cannot overcome, such as the means of discovering children’s thoughts, limits of teaching source and funds. Taking
the curricula-variable for example, we also know clearly, it is not perfect. If there are only 5 students choosing course of archaeology, which may be canceled for so small student number, and who registering this course will be compelled to  alter their choices and reselect some other courses which they are not good at
or favorite. Then these students maybe miss their suitable and learning well course, doing badly in the selected course. That is not the fault of their, but
of schools, of educators. Thus, in this side, it is quite necessary to take actions to perfect our education.（感觉论述的满清楚，但是句子有点绕、有点散，能改写成几个连贯的句子会舒服些。）

Though we have to commit the short comings in the existing education, due to a good education is so complex and complicated.(重复) It does not indicate we are failed and hopeless making（改为failly and hopelessly making） children to bring about a better society. In fact, numerous examples prove our
efforts and successes in this aspect. Even the flawed curricula-variableinstitution is a step forward. （虽然是说和前面讲的不大一样，是说有好处的部分，感觉上有点像打自己嘴巴，所说的好处都是上一段驳斥过的，如果有别的例子更好。）In this case, students have freedom to choose courses which they like or suit for them, instead what they are weak in. It will enhance their initiative and enthusiasm . So we should and we can make progress by our efforts to educate better, to discover and train their talents, and to create our society.

To sum up, education is not only about bring children to create society, but find ways to discover children’s advantage, and make an free environment to develop it. Though we still （can）not achieve these goals, and seems not to achieve（删除） in a short time. It is worthy and hopeful as long as we work harder.