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- 声望
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本帖最后由 都说了不是又八 于 2010-2-15 13:50 编辑
之前pluka和HYQ同学的意见都非常中肯,所以从这篇argument开始要尽力将逻辑讲通,话说明白,语言上相对逊色了好多。
而且还是不大适应限时写作,这篇文章并不是在30分钟之内完成的,只能代表一个写作趋向。
还望各位不要多多包涵。请狠狠下手。
TOPIC: ARGUMENT173 - The following is a memorandum issued by the publisher of a newsmagazine, Newsbeat, in the country of Dinn.
"Our poorest-selling magazine issues over the past three years were those that featured international news stories on their front covers. Over the same period, competing news-magazines have significantly decreased the number of cover stories that they devote to international news. Moreover, the cost of maintaining our foreign bureaus to report on international news is increasing. Therefore, we should decrease our emphasis on international news and refrain from displaying such stories on our magazine covers."
In the argument, the author carried three facts: the poorest-selling magazine of ours has been featured on the international news; the competing magazines (who significantly abandoned international news covers) had a burst in selling; the costing spike of our foreign news bureaus. Based on the evidences, the author asserted that our news magazine should reduce the favour on international cover news reports. However, the suggestion needs to be further scrutinized on several aspects.
Fundamentally, the author is trying to establish a causal link between the poor selling of the magazine with the international news feature. Nevertheless, numerous causes could be the very factor that affects the amount of selling. For instance, the staff working on the magazine could be facing a series of problems which impedes more selling amount. The employees could be lack of efficiency, due to the wage is not meeting the expectation standard of the workers, or the human resource manager could be not urging all the staff on the go, which makes the magazine mashed in the poor-selling embarrassment. Also, for the feature of the magazine is its international cover stories and comments on incidents happening around the world, if the relevant reports are fading in value themselves, gradually arrowing down in quality, and the regular readers of the magazine could be losing faith about it, which directly influencing the selling achievement. Any of the plot above happening, could be a reasonable explanation of the poor selling.
Additionally, given the fact that the competing news-magazines have decreased international cover stories over the same period, for it’s likely that they’re not earning a profit, our magazine do not have to adopt the same strategy. Are they really earning a profit? If yes, are they facing a same embarrassment with us, embracing a same group of readers, sharing a same international feature, having the same selling amount, supported by a same ratio of policy and other resources? If all the answers are yes, could our magazine enjoy a rise still after the same procedure taken by the opponent weeks ago? Any question encounters a “no” or “not sure”, it’s highly suggested the to-be-taken policy be examined on the feasibility. Experiences of the opponents could be precious, but hasty stating “we could definitely earn from the procedure” is not a wise choice. In the end, whether to decrease the international cover stories depends on further information on the issue, but the message is ironically totally missing in the argument.
Moreover, mentioning the rising oversea costs, could not logically lead to the conclusion that we must cut the expense of the international news bureaus. To cut the maintaining fee and make sure that it’s benefiting in total, these factors should be involved: First, is the cost tremendous enough to wipe the deficit out? Increasing cost does not necessarily mean soaring expenses. Slowly tipping up costs of the bureaus oversea could be accepted, and even the cost is growing fast, if the oversea staff is writing far better reports on the international issues, the money could be judged worthy, and the cut is supposed to be unnecessary. Second, even the journalists overseas are not performing a good job, merely cutting the cost may not be the best solution. If the magazine of ours is highly international featured, and if international reports of our magazine takes up a high proportion, cutting the international expense means cutting the expense on the most important news source of the magazine. Without better substitute of international news, the editors may lack the to-be-applied-articles. This could directly drag the quality of the magazine down and trigger other difficulties. In the end, maybe it could be wiser to take deeper considerations about the cost cutting.(这个first,second什么的结构是否有点儿不大好看?有没有更好的改进方法呢?)
(另,结尾段请帮忙给出更好的修改意见~一直都不是很擅长写结尾。该如何对原文进行更加细致的总结呢?)
In sum, the author does expect a radical improvement of the financial status of the magazine, instead of staying last one on the selling amount. However, on how to actually achieve more selling, the author needs to offer more specific description on the subject. |
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