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[活动] 综合作文 by米 [复制链接]

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发表于 2010-2-17 05:36:39 |显示全部楼层
本帖最后由 eejchen 于 2010-2-17 05:40 编辑

2.17 tpo6
请批~
In the lecture, the professor mainly raise the issue that communal online encyclopedias are valuable in many ways, challenging the main points in the reading materials
that the communal online encyclopedias have many disadvantages when compared with the traditional encyclopedias, the printed ones.
First of all, the reading passage points out that contributors to a communal online encyclopedia often lack academic credentials and traditional encyclopedias are written by trained experts. However, according to the professor, both traditional and online encyclopedias are not perfectly accurate, but the online encyclopedias are easier to be corrected that the traditional ones.
In addition, the reading provides another disadvantage of online encyclopedia, which gives the opportunity for the unscrupulous users and hackers to change the information. The points used by the professor to cast doubt on the reading is that there are special formats of crucial facts, which cannot be changed by hackers. And also, special editors are used to add correct changes to the original texts.
Finally, on the contrary of the reading materials, which indicates that the communal encyclopedias focus too frequently and too deep on trivial and popular topics, which creats a false impression of importance of things, the professor states that the limited space of traditional encyclopedias are not an issue in the communal encyclopedias, which provides great variety resources for users' interests. This directly contradicts what the reading passage indicates.

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发表于 2010-2-19 13:12:20 |显示全部楼层
In the lecture, the professor mainly raise(raises) the issue that communal online encyclopedias are valuable in many ways, challenging the main points in the reading materials that the communal online encyclopedias have many disadvantages when compared with the traditional encyclopedias, the printed ones.
First of all, the reading passage points out that contributors to a communal online encyclopedia often lack academic credentials and(while这里前后是转折关系) traditional encyclopedias are written by trained experts. However, according to the professor, both traditional and online encyclopedias are not perfectly accurate, but the online encyclopedias are easier to be corrected that(than) the traditional ones.
In addition, the reading provides another disadvantage of online encyclopedia, which gives the opportunity for the unscrupulous users and hackers to change the information. The points used by the professor to cast doubt on the reading is that there are special formats of crucial facts, which cannot be changed by hackers. And also, special editors are used to add(去掉) correct changes to the original texts.
Finally, on the contrary of the reading materials, which indicates that the communal encyclopedias focus too frequently and too deep on trivial and popular topics, which creats a false impression of importance of things,(这里定从套定从有点不清晰,直接像前两段那样写成两个句子,中间用on the contrary 连接会较好) the professor states that the limited space of traditional encyclopedias are not an issue in the communal encyclopedias, which provides great variety resources for users' interests. This directly contradicts what the reading passage indicates.(这句话就不用了,应为前面已经有on the contrary表示了这个意思)
文章结构和语言都不错,唯一就是最后一段看得有点吃力,我觉得综合作文主要是看内容是不是全面和准确,语言倒是其次,所以与其追求长句,还不如分开把内容交代清楚。。。呵呵,个人一点拙见,如有不妥,欢迎一起讨论!(*^__^*)
PS:括号中是我改过来的

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发表于 2010-2-19 17:48:00 |显示全部楼层
In the lecture, the professor mainly raise the issue that communal online encyclopedias are valuable in many ways, challenging the main points in the reading materials that the communal online encyclopedias have many disadvantages when compared with the traditional encyclopedias, the printed ones.(写的不错,不过我建议楼主可以试一下断句,因为一段就一句读着有些吃力~)
First of all, the reading passage points out that (the)contributors to a communal online encyclopedia often lack academic credentials and(这里是转折,用,while) traditional encyclopedias are written by trained experts. However, according to the professor, both traditional and online encyclopedias are not perfectly accurate, but the online encyclopedias are easier to be corrected that the traditional ones.
In addition, the reading provides another disadvantage of online encyclopedia, which gives the opportunity for the unscrupulous users and hackers to change the information. The points used by the professor to cast doubt on the reading is that there are special formats (是only-read format 我自己也没听出来,囧~~) of crucial facts, which cannot be changed by hackers. And also, special editors are used to add correct changes to the original texts(细节,学习了~~).
Finally, on the contrary of the reading materials, which indicates that the communal encyclopedias focus too frequently and too deep on trivial and popular topics, which creats a false impression of importance of things,(mm这句最好换词,或换说法,不然感觉有照抄阅读原文的嫌疑~) the professor states that the limited space of traditional encyclopedias are not an issue in the communal encyclopedias, which provides great variety resources for users' interests. This directly contradicts what the reading passage indicates.(少了个细节,跟我一样~~囧~)

楼主mm总体写的不错的~O(∩_∩)O~注意一下描述阅读中观点的时候一定用自己的话~~mm在练习的时候听力只听一遍么?为什么我只听一遍会落下好多细节~~囧~~~向各位学习了~~细节~
既然选择了这条路,就必须走完~快乐的走完~

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发表于 2010-2-19 23:44:39 |显示全部楼层
本帖最后由 eejchen 于 2010-2-19 23:46 编辑

TPO 7 综合   
In the reading passage, the auther mainly raises the issue that the certifications to wood companies to ask their products to be ecocertified will not be welcomed in the United States. However, this saying is being challenged by the listening lecture, which indicates that American will adopt this certification.
first of all, the reading materials points out that there are so many advertisement on new or improved products in America, the consumers will not value the ecocertification label. However, according to the professor, people have different attitude towards advertisement and they might react favorable to the ecocertification on wood.
in addition, the reading provides another explanation that people in America care much about the price. As the wood company must pay more to the examination, ecocertified wood will be more expensive than the normal wood. the point used by the professor to disagree with the reading is that Amercian care not so much in price when the difference in price of the product is little. And people care about the environment, they are willing to devote some to the protection of environment.
Finally, on the contrary of reading passage, which indicates that the products of wood company in America are mainly comsumed in the domestic market so they donnot keep up with the rest of the world, the professor states that the foreign competition is crucial in the America market, the wood companies have to pay attention to the ecocertification of wood to make their products more competitive in the market.

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发表于 2010-2-23 05:58:04 |显示全部楼层
2.22 TPO 8
请批~写了半个多小时,太长了……

In the reading materials, the author indicates that some critics have cast doubt on the accuracy of the memoir written by Chevalier. However, the professor in the listening materials challenges the saying in the reading passage by stating several evidence that the memoir is reliable.
First of all, the reading passage raises the issue that evidence showed that Chevalier borrowed much money from a Swiss merchant while he claims that he was rich when lived in Switzerland and spent large amount of money on parties and gambling in the memoir. However, according to the professor, everyone who is wealthy may run out of cash sometimes. So borrowing money from others for a convert does not mean that he was not affluent.
In addition, the reading casts doubt on the accuracy of the conversations Chevalier records in the memoir between himself and Voltaire, the famous writer, because the memoir was written many years after the conversation. the point used by the professor to disagree with the reading is that Chevalier write notes and journals every night after the conversation. So it is possible for him to record accurately about the communication.
Finally, the reading provides critics about the memoir's account of Chevalier's escape from the prison in Venice by using a piece of metal to make a hole in the ceiling and escape from the roof because it wants to appealing the readers to enjoy the story. It also suggests that Checalier's friends might bribe the jailer to free him. On the contrary to this, the professor points out that it is impossible that his friends were powerful enough to make the jailer to free a prisoner and there is also some evidence about repairing the ceiling of the room he once lived in.
且行且珍惜……

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IBT Zeal Cancer巨蟹座

发表于 2010-2-23 14:49:19 |显示全部楼层
来了。。

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IBT Zeal Cancer巨蟹座

发表于 2010-2-23 15:22:45 |显示全部楼层
In the reading materials, the author indicates that some critics have cast doubt on the accuracy of the memoir written by Chevalier. However, the professor in the listening materials challenges the saying in the reading passage by stating several evidence that the memoir is reliable.首段很好

First of all, the reading passage raises这个好学了 the issue that evidence showed that 不用加这么多显得繁琐从句多而且近Chevalier borrowed much money from a Swiss merchant while he claims时态一致 that he was rich when lived in Switzerland and spent large amount of money on parties and gambling in the memoir. 首句有点长可以断开写。However, according to the professor, everyone好像没提是everyone who is wealthy may run out of cash sometimes. So borrowing money from others for a convert does not mean that he was not affluent.

In addition, the reading casts doubt on the accuracy of the conversations Chevalier records in the memoir between himself and Voltaire, the famous writer 加and he, because the memoir was written many years after the conversation. the point used by the professor to disagree with the reading 总觉得disagree用这里不合适。the point of professor different from what the reading mentions is that Chevalier write notes--kept notes and journals every night after the conversation. So it is possible for him to record accurately about the communication。听力里还有其他细节

Finally, the reading provides critics about the memoir's account of Chevalier's escape from the prison in Venice by using a piece of metal to make a hole in the ceiling and escape from the roof because it wants to appealing the readers to enjoy the story.这里的内容和词汇都是从阅读里搬过来的,这样的话简单提下更好了。 It also suggests that Checalier's friends might bribe the jailer to free him. On the contrary to this, the professor points out that it is impossible that his friends were powerful enough to make the jailer to free a prisoner and there is also some evidence about repairing the ceiling of the room he once lived in. 大部分内容都写出来应该还有小的细节,语法和时态。阅读的东西不用写很多,主要问题说出来就好了。说的不好见谅

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发表于 2010-2-23 16:45:40 |显示全部楼层
4# eejchen

TPO 7
综合   
In the reading passage, the auther
(author) mainly raises the issue that (the certifications to
去掉 )wood companies to ask their products to be ecocertified will not be welcomed in the United States. However, this saying is being challenged by the listening lecture, which indicates that American will adopt this certification.+ `3 x

First of all, the reading materials points out that there are so many advertisement on new or improved products in America, the consumers will not value the ecocertification label. However, according to the professor, people have different attitude towards advertisement and they might react favorable to the ecocertification on wood.这个地方缺少信息,听力里面说的是那些美国人把这些广告分成两部分,一个是公司自己在那吹,他们不行。另一个是被另一个独立的机构吹,这个他们信。

inaddition, the reading provides another explanation that people in America care much about the price. As the wood company must pay more to the examination, ecocertified wood will be more expensive than the normal wood. the point used by the professor to disagree with the reading is that Amercian care not so much in price when the difference in price of the product is little. And people care about the environment, they are willing to devote some to the protection of environment.这句说的好,我听到这个了但是笔记没有记下来,教教我怎么记笔记吧
(╯▽╰) f) ~* V3 _/ o' E+ t3 |" k3 i' L

Finally, on the contrary of reading passage, which indicates that the products of wood company in America are mainly comsumed in the domestic market so they donnot keep up with the rest of the world, the professor states that the foreign competition is crucial in the America market, the wood companies have to pay attention to the ecocertification of wood to make their products more competitive in the market.这句也不是很准缺,应该按照听力里面怎么说,你就怎么写。
我觉得米首先得加个结尾,话不用多,一句就行了。然后就是最好按照听力里面说的,他怎么说你就怎么写最好了。加油fighting ~~↖(^ω^)↗
坚持听读~坚持口语和写作~阅读不能丢

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发表于 2010-2-25 00:25:43 |显示全部楼层
2.24 TPO9

In the reading passage, the author raises the issue that the hydrogen-based fuel-cell engines are good replacements for the internal-combustion engines because they have several advantages compared with the internal ones. However, the professor casts doubt on the reading and states that it is too optimistic to say that.
First of all, the reading materials indicate that unlike the internal-combustion engine which relies on the limited source, petroleum, hydrogen can be derived from natural gas and water, which can not easily be depleted. However, according to the professor, because of the technicial difficulties, like in very cold atmosphere can people get hydrogen, it is not as easily available as people think. It is not practical.
In addition, the reading provides that the hydrogen-based fuel cells can decrease the pollution since its only byproduct is water, which will not pullute the environment as the byproduct of burning oil, carbon dioxide does. The point what the professor mentions is that it will generate pollution during the process of geting pure hydrogen by burning coal and oil.
Further more, the reading points out that the fuel-cell engines are economically competitive since people cost less to operate the fuel-cell engine. The peofessor casts doubt on this and indicates that people need to use rare expensive metal to produce the engine and cheap materials has so far unsucessful. So it is not economical at all.
且行且珍惜……

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GRE梦想之帆 AW小组活动奖

发表于 2010-2-25 11:33:58 |显示全部楼层
占座先
See U in pittsburgh!

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GRE梦想之帆 AW小组活动奖

发表于 2010-2-25 13:39:26 |显示全部楼层
本帖最后由 Mason.PD 于 2010-2-25 15:10 编辑

In the reading passage, the author raises the issue that the hydrogen-based fuel-cell engines are good replacements for the internal-combustion engines because they have several advantages compared with the internal ones. However, the professor casts doubt on the reading and states that it is too optimistic to say that.

First of all, the reading materials indicate that unlike the internal-combustion engine which relies on the limited source, petroleum, hydrogen can be derived from natural gas and water, which can not easily be depleted. However, according to the professor, because of the technicial difficulties, like in very cold atmosphere can people get hydrogen, it is not as easily available as people think. It is not practical.
我觉得你听力部分的细节还可以再加强,比如零下253度啊,要求保持pure liquid state之类的

In addition, the reading provides that the hydrogen-based fuel cells can decrease the pollution since its only byproduct is water, which will not pullute the environment as the byproduct of burning oil, carbon dioxide does. The point what the professor mentions is that it will generate pollution during the process of geting pure hydrogen by burning coal and oil.红字是听力内容,我觉得比重太小。。

Further more, the reading points out that the fuel-cell engines are economically competitive since people cost less to operate the fuel-cell engine. The peofessor casts doubt on this and indicates that people need to use rare expensive metal to produce the engine这边我听到时那个啥稀有金属必须参与反应才能进行于是可以提供电。。 and cheap materials has so far unsucessful. So it is not economical at all.

语句上我就不改了,其他蛮好
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eejchen + 1 认真

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See U in pittsburgh!

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发表于 2010-2-27 06:05:00 |显示全部楼层
2.26 TPO10
In the reading passage, the author raises the issue that the declining of sea otter population might be caused by the environmental pollution. However, this theory is doubted by the listening material, which indicates that the predation is the most possible cause.
First of all, the reading presents an explanation that the chemical pollution is increased along the coast and they could be the life-threatening cause to the decrease of sea otters. However, the professor points out that the dead bodies of the sea otters are hard to find out in that area. This proves that compared to the chemical pollution, the predation is more likely to be the cause of the death.
In addition, the reading material states the fact that other sea mammals were declining too. Because pollution usually have bad effects to the entire ecosystem. According to the professor, there is another explanation. Because the larger prey, the whales disappear from this area recently, orcas might change their diet to have some small sea animals,such as seals, sea lions and sea otters.
Finally, on the contrary to the reading, which indicates that the uneven pattern of otter decline can be explained by the pollution hypothesis,the professor points out the uneven pattern can be better explained by the predation theory. Because the areas in which the otters remain stable are shallow and rocky locations where the orcas cannot access to.
且行且珍惜……

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发表于 2010-3-2 06:50:40 |显示全部楼层
TPO 11
In the reading passage, the author raises an issue that people are reading less literature than before, which has bad influence for some culture things. However, the professor casts doubt on the saying of the reading and gives some reasons.
First of all, the reading material indicates that the decline in book reading nowadays exerts an harmful effect on the reading public's missing out. While the professor states that there are many other forms of reading can stimulate people's imagination, like science, history and political analysis. They are all of high quality.
In addition, the reading suggests that people tend to read low quality materials and watch TV or music video instead of reading a book. According to the professor, there are plenty of materials are not written, like music and movie. A good movie or wonderful music doesn't mean  that they have lowered the level of culture.
Finally, the reading points out that the decline on reading will lead an unfortunate impact on literature because less money will be used to support serious writers. On the contrary to the reading, the professor indicates that it is not the readers' fault but the authors' fault sometimes. Because the writtings today are intend to be difficult to understand. She also gives an evidence that the readers in the early period do not read the literature written nowadays either.
且行且珍惜……

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IBT Zeal Cancer巨蟹座

发表于 2010-3-2 20:44:17 |显示全部楼层
In the reading passage, the author raises好词 an issue that people are reading less literature than before, which has bad influence for some culture things感觉有点中式. However, the professor casts doubt on the saying of the reading and gives some reasons.开头简洁好

First of all, the reading material indicates that the decline in book reading nowadays exerts an harmful effect on the reading public's missing out. While the professor states that there are many other forms of reading can stimulate people's imagination, like science, history and political analysis.赞细节我都忘了听完就忘。 They are all of high quality

In addition, the reading suggests that people tend to read low quality materials and watch TV or music video可以说下这些很skindeep instead of reading a book. According to the professor, there are plenty of materials are not written, like music and movie-->some various methods also could represent culture such as music and a good movie, which they are not lowered level of culture from the lecturer. A good movie or wonderful music doesn't mean  that they have lowered the level of culture

Finally, the reading points out that the decline on reading will lead an unfortunate impact on literature because less money will be used to support serious writers. On the contrary to the reading好词组, the professor indicates that it is not the readers' fault but the authors' fault sometimes.这个可以连成一句 Because the writtings today are intend to be difficult to understand. She also gives an evidence that the readers in the early period do not read the literature written nowadays either.这个如果说以前的时态问题,这段的细节有出入建议再听听。细节总体不多没有上次多,有些语法问题还有句子比较简单的说。

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发表于 2010-3-5 23:42:13 |显示全部楼层
In the reading passage, the author raises the issue that the sales of fossils by private collectors has several disadvantages to not only the scientists but also the general public. The professor, however, casts doubt on the reading and states that private collection of fossils has some advantages.

First of all, the passage proposes that the general public have fewer opportunities to see the fossils which are sold to private owners. Whereas the professor points out that a great number of private collectors are willing to hold exposition of those fossils to public schools and libraries. Therefore, people still have access to see those fossils.

In addition, the reading indicates that scientists are probably losing access to some important fossils and have no chance to discover about extinct life forms. According to the professor, it is not true at all. Because private collectors need scientists to identify the fossils first.Therefore, the fossils have to pass the scientists' hands irst and scientists have the opportunities to do research on the fossils.

Finally, the reading material indicates that commercial fossil collectors might destroy the valuable fossils because they are always untrained in the careful process of collecting fossils. On contrary to this saying, the professor points out that the commercial fossils collectors play an important role in revealing the fossils because they pay much money on the program to find more fossils. Without their help, many fossils might go undiscovered.
Based on these perspectives, the lecture effectively challenges the author.
且行且珍惜……

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RE: 综合作文 by米 [修改]

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