lavenderelaine2.18作文互改菜鸟要不断坚持-2010独立作文互改小组

刀小镜UID: 2618532

我觉得favorable position是可以的 姑娘应该也是背过200句的吧^^

lavenderelaineUID: 2689477

2.21 Do you prefer to finish a project completely then to another one or do two or several projects at a time?

With the rapidly economic development, great changes await this world. Nowadays, it is indisputable that what enterprises and bosses account are the efficiency and the benefits that bring out by their efficient stuffs. Under this circumstance, I prefer to finish several projects at a time, reasons are obvious and can be seen as following.
To begin with, the twenty-first century are thirsty for talents who can fulfill the jobs both efficiently and perfectly. We are now at the end of the first decade of the twenty-first century. These ten years have seen plenty of advanced ideas coming out gradually among millions of corporations all over the world with in steps with the economic globalization. Let's look at the reality, the capability of doing several projects at a time contributes directly to the corporations, at the same time, bosses definitely praise the stuffs, whom own this ability and then can receive more clients, thus creating more benefits. Besides gaining the contribution and praise, by doing several projects together, I feel free to enjoy leisure time watching movies, stopping with my families, going hiking and so on. The efficient working style inspires me greatly.
In addition, my trying to finish several projects together enables me to obtain the skill of time-management. You can’t image how terrible it will be, if an adult can’t exactly manage his/her time. Everything gets a mass, no matter how talented he or she is, and everything is destined for failures. I may cite a common example of a stuff, she was asked to complete two commercial plans the night before tomorrow. unfortunately, choosing the harder one of those two plans to do first unconsciously, she did not finished anyone of those two plans and feel felt regretful for his poor ability on time management. Contrasted with this miserable stuff, I would be more skilled on time-management-- putting aside the harder one. It is wise to fulfill the simpler project, and meanwhile think about a better solution of the former one.
It is undoubtedly that there also exist various advantages of the way that finishing projects one by one. Compared with people who completed many projects at a time, others concentrated on one project at a time, fulfilling jobs perfectly and professionally. An old saying goes, if you want everything then you gain anything. What the old saying tells us is that if you want to step your foot on ground steady, you must manage your plans one by one meticulously and perfectly, otherwise, you can’t afford the heavy price. History are full of those examples that people were desired to finish several objects together during a short time, yet unfortunately, bad news await them, neither of the objects were indeed finished.
From what has been discussed above, I am firmly convinced that only by being efficient enough to finish several projects together can we be so strong to face the coming challenges of the economic globalization. It is the efficiency and high concentration that enable our current white-collars live a better live.

lavenderelaineUID: 2689477

我觉得favorable position是可以的 姑娘应该也是背过200句的吧^^
刀小镜 发表于 2010-2-21 19:55

啊哈哈，阿喜粉认真呢……~ 感谢一个~

我现在只是作了 135句的翻译 和 托福词汇小伴侣里的单词捂上英文看中文反映英文。 favorable position 135里也有~
哈哈不过说实话，当时写这篇时我真是享用的 superior但是 不会拼啊， 我就用老调子了。哈哈 superior 也挺好~

小心童鞋的句子很流畅啊~ 她推荐看李笑来高分里的句子  我准备最近看呢~
话说200的效果怎么样？~

刀小镜UID: 2618532

With the rapidly economic development, great changes await this world. Nowadays, it is indisputable that what enterprises and bosses account(这个词放在这不对吧?想表达“看重”的意思？) are the efficiency and the benefits that bring out（去掉） by their efficient stuffs（staff）. Under this circumstance, I prefer to finish several projects at a time, reasons are obvious and can be seen as following.
To begin with, the twenty-first century are thirsty（好生动^^） for talents who can fulfill the jobs both(去掉) efficiently and perfectly. We are now at the end of the first decade of the twenty-first century. These ten years have seen plenty of advanced ideas coming out gradually among millions of corporations all over the world with in steps with the economic globalization. Let's look at the reality, the capability of doing several projects at a time contributes directly to the corporations, at the same time, bosses definitely praise the stuffs（staff）, whom own this ability and then can receive more clients, thus creating more benefits. Besides gaining the contribution and praise, by doing several projects together, I feel free to enjoy leisure(leisurely leisure是名词) time watching movies, stopping with my families, going hiking and so on. The efficient working style inspires me greatly.
In addition, my（去掉）trying to finish several projects together enables me to obtain the skill of time-management. You can’t image how terrible it will be, if an adult can’t exactly manage his/her time. Everything gets a mass, no matter how talented he or she is, and everything is destined for failures. I may cite a common example of a stuff（person staff是集合名词跟people一样）, she was asked to complete two commercial plans the night before tomorrow（扶额,今晚用tonight就好了啊）. unfortunately, choosing the harder one of those two  plans to do first unconsciously, she did not finished anyone of those two plans and feel(去掉) felt regretful for his（her） poor ability on time management. Contrasted with this miserable stuff（worker）, I would be more skilled on time-management-- putting aside the harder one. It is wise to fulfill the simpler project, and(去掉) meanwhile think about a better solution of the former（other） one.(最好再加上 因此培养自己的这种能力很重要BLABLA一类的)
It is undoubtedly that there （are）also exist(去掉) various advantages of the way that finishing projects one by one. Compared with people who completed many projects at a time, others concentrated on one project at a time, fulfilling jobs perfectly and professionally. An(As an) old saying goes,(：） if you want everything then you gain anything. What the old saying tells us is that if you want to step your foot on ground steady(steadily), you must manage your plans one by one meticulously and perfectly, otherwise, you can’t afford the heavy price. History are(is) full of those examples that people were(去掉) desired to finish several objects together during a short time, yet unfortunately, bad news await（awaited） them, neither of the objects were indeed finished.
From what has been discussed above,(From what I have mentioned above,) I am firmly convinced that only by being efficient enough to finish several projects together can we be so strong to face the coming challenges of the economic globalization. It is the efficiency and high concentration that enable our current white-collars live a better live(life).

姑娘这次思路不错 有些小毛病主要还是语言的熟练程度 有些地方感觉就是中文直接翻译过来的
其实我认为被什么材料都好 只要能坚持下来就能成功
姑娘加油！

刀小镜UID: 2618532

the capacity to attend to several things at once
这个句型是对的哈 感谢姑娘的点评 合掌谢

lavenderelaineUID: 2689477

2.22的作业。 犹如屎一般……大家见效了 :O

本来写一半 放弃了。 可是还是坚持贴了上来 。决定这几天 消化消化再继续……

2.22 Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Most people often let others make decisions for them rather than make decisions by themselves.

When comes to making decisions, some people argue that it is vital to make decisions by themselves, while others hold the opposite opinion. As far as I am concerned, I agree with the viewpoint that it is better for somebody to let others make decisions for his/her self, for the following reasons.

To start with, it is impossible to make a decision perfectly and properly only by one person himself. Due to lacking of wide knowledge and adequate experience, people incline to drop by some learned friends or relatives for seeking appropriate suggestions. In my point of view, only by asking others opinions can they avoid going stray before everything goes worse. A happy ending is what people desire most, so nobody will care who has made that decision.

In addition, insiders may feel confused when a huge emergency suddenly drops. Under this circumstance, people become puzzled and can't tell truth from wrong, just like the old saying, the outsiders see clearer than insiders. When girls are shopping in the mall, one girl may hesitate on which dress fitting her better, failing to make a decision by herself. Then she might turn to her friends –asking them to make a decision. Other girls directly point out the shortage of one dress and suggest buying another one. A difficult problem turns into a simple one, isn't?

On the other hand, there are some problems, which may destroy our life, if we can’t handle it well. It is those vital decisions that we can't fail to take into account. How foolish we will be if we put our destiny in others' hands and let others make decisions for us. In my perspective, opportunities will go away and never come back if we do not grasp closely in time. Furthering studies aboard or finding a job in the job markets, it must depend on your decision; Being Major in economics or law, can't be decided by others; Living a good life or living under the risk of exposure determined by your diligence and self-confidence.

From what has been discussed above, through some fatal issues must be determined by people themselves, other issues must be suggested and decided by some learned and experienced friends or experts. I strongly hold that the decision of letting other making decision for us is the smartest decision and well benefits us greatly.

slimhUID: 2438517

2.21

本帖最后由 lavenderelaine 于 2010-2-21 22:45 编辑 6 K; x) H" j/ ^. }8 B" `" T; j 0 A, K& t' J1 U$ U  L- U$ p) [: K" H2.21 Do you prefer to finish a project completely then to another one or do two or several projects at a time?  f. {3 _/ |3 R  O7 V1 p. Q With the rapidly(rapid) economic development, great changes await this world. Nowadays, it is indisputable that what enterprises' and bosses' accounts are the efficiency and the benefits that bring out(off， bring out是。。引导或出版，bring off是实现或成功) by their efficient stuffs(stuff）（楼主这是从句套从句么？不是很明白通过stuff这个东西怎么bring了benefits). Under this circumstance, I prefer to finish several projects at a time, reasons are obvious and can be seen as following. To begin with, the twenty-first century are(is) thirsty for talents who can fulfill the jobs both(去掉） efficiently and perfectly. We are now at the end of the first decade of the twenty-first century. These ten years have seen plenty of advanced ideas coming out gradually， among millions of corporations all over the world with in steps， with the economic globalization. Let's look at the reality, the capability of doing several projects at a time contributes directly to the corporations, at the same time, bosses definitely praise the stuffs(staff), whom own this ability and then can receive(receive clients?建议attract customers) more clients, thus creating(creat) more benefits. Besides gaining the contribution and praise, by doing several projects together, I feel free to enjoy leisure time watching movies, stopping with my families, going hiking and so on. The efficient working style inspires me greatly., x  u% K; z% n In addition, my(去掉） trying to finish several projects together enables me to obtain the skill of time-management. You can’t image how terrible it will be, if an adult can’t exactly(建议放在句尾) manage his/her time. Everything gets a mass, no matter how talented he or she is, and everything is destined for failures. I may cite a common example of a stuff(是staff吧?）, she was asked to complete two commercial plans the night before tomorrow(这个表达。。）. unfortunately, choosing the harder one of those(the) two plans to do first unconsciously, she did not finished anyone of those two plans and feel(去掉） felt regretful for his(her) poor ability on time management. Contrasted with this miserable stuff, I would be more skilled on time-management-- putting aside the harder one. It is wise to fulfill the simpler project, and meanwhile think about a better solution of the former one. It is undoubtedly（undouted) that there(are) also exist(去掉） various advantages of the way that finishing(to finish) projects one by one. Compared with people who completed many projects at a time, others concentrated on one project at a time, fulfilling jobs perfectly and professionally. AS An old saying goes, if you want everything then you gain anything. What the old saying tells us is that if you want to step your foot on to the ground steady(steadily), you must manage your plans one by one meticulously and perfectly, otherwise, you can’t afford the heavy price. History are(is) full of(filled with) those examples that people were desired to finish several objects together during a short time, yet unfortunately, bad news await them, neither of the objects were indeed (indeedly)finished. 2 }. n; v* j( C) j From what has been discussed above, I am firmly convinced that only by being efficient enough to finish several projects together can we be so strong(strong enough) to face the coming(去掉） challenges of the economic globalization. It is the efficiency and high concentration that enable（去掉） our current white-collars enable to live a better lives. 总结： 楼主的语言运用能力非常好，我觉得选择单词问题上绝对没有问题，建议使用从句时搞好主谓关系。 至于内容方面的话，我觉得第二段里面你用额外的时间作你想做的事情的那个放在那边比较突义，可以移到第3段来，这样子可以更明确表达你个人的time manage能力比较强的事情。 我觉得这么短的时间里写这么长，而且词汇构造很不错的文章很不容易，继续加油啊！

lixinjiayouUID: 2754331

弱弱的问一句，我看了好几篇2.22的作文，为什么许多人写的内容都是更像是在回答“which do you think is better:making decisons by oneself or asking others to make decisions for you ?"而不是回答是否同意这样的陈述"Most people often let others make decisions for them rather than make decisions by themselves."

刀小镜UID: 2618532

先说一下 不好意思 昨天那句From what has been discussed above是对的 我改的有些多余了><

刀小镜UID: 2618532

2.22 Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Most people often let others make decisions for them rather than make decisions by themselves.
When comes to making decisions, some people argue that it is vital to make decisions by themselves, while others hold the opposite opinion. As far as I am concerned, I agree with the viewpoint that it is better for somebody to let others make decisions for his/her self, for the following reasons.
To start with, it is impossible to make a decision perfectly and properly only by one person himself. Due to lacking of wide knowledge and adequate experience, people incline to drop by（这是走访的意思啊 用得不对吧） some learned friends or relatives for seeking appropriate suggestions. In my point of view, only by（去掉） asking others opinions can they avoid going stray before everything goes worse. A happy ending is what people desire most, so nobody will care who has（去掉，过去式就好） made that decision.
In addition, insiders may feel confused when a huge emergency suddenly drops. Under this circumstance, people become puzzled and can't（cannot 姑娘教我的啊怎么自己到忘了，捂嘴乐） tell truth from wrong, just like the old saying, the outsiders see clearer than insiders. When girls are shopping in the mall, one girl may hesitate on which dress fitting her better, failing to make a decision by herself. Then she might turn to her friends –asking them to make a decision. Other girls directly point out the shortage of one dress and suggest buying another one. A difficult problem turns into a simple one, isn't? （这个例子拿中国话说倒是说得过去但是这俩词翻译成知情人内部人士和局外人圈外人门外汉就有些说不通了。例子不错但是前后不搭）
On the other hand, there are some problems, which may destroy our life, if we can’t handle it well. It is those vital decisions that we can't fail to take into account.（这句是强调句吗？因为我不太会用这个句型所以也不知道究竟对不对） How foolish we will be if we put our destiny in others' hands and let others make decisions for us. In my perspective, opportunities will go away and never come back if we do not grasp closely in time. Furthering studies aboard or finding a job in the job markets（建议去掉）, it must depend on your decision;（句号） Being Major in economics or law, can't be decided by others; Living a good life or living under the risk of exposure determined by your diligence and self-confidence.
From what has been discussed above, through（去掉） some fatal issues must be determined by people themselves, other issues must be suggested and decided by some learned and experienced friends or experts. I strongly hold that the decision of letting other making decision for us is the smartest decision and well benefits us greatly.

我跟姑娘的思路是一样的
但是我也是再最后一段摆明了中立的观点但总觉得有些不合适
可是如果放在前面最后一段又没有东西可供结尾了>< 最好还是提前摆明观点然后再展开论述
这样结构就比较清晰了

slimhUID: 2438517

弱弱的问一句，我看了好几篇2.22的作文，为什么许多人写的内容都是更像是在回答“which do you think is better:making decisons by oneself or asking others to make decisions for you ?"而不是回答是否同意这样的 ...
lixinjiayou 发表于 2010-2-23 16:40

童鞋你这么一说我好像悟了点什么。。。大家讨论一下，do you agree or disagree的时候是不是最好不要说中立的立场呢？( 写完自己都晕了）

lixinjiayouUID: 2754331

27# slimh
不过我看了“例文评论”里说：“题目是支持反对型。文结构的优点在于，advantages的部分和disadvantages的部分的比例大致为3：1。我们写这个类型的题目一定要注意这一点，即你支持的部分一定要比你反对的部分长一倍以上。”
所以我觉得自己的倾向还是得有的，不然老外会觉得你太没主见和想法
呵呵不知道是不是这样^_^

lavenderelaineUID: 2689477

27# slimh  
不过我看了“例文评论”里说：“题目是支持反对型。文结构的优点在于，advantages的部分和disadvantages的部分的比例大致为3：1。我们写这个类型的题目一定要注意这一点，即你支持的部分一定要比你反对 ...
lixinjiayou 发表于 2010-2-24 12:52

我赛，真是惭愧了....我自己都三天没来写了....看到大家这么认真的在讨论和学习中……
今天继续……

3：1 ？好的 。不过上课时候老师说2：1  我觉得2：0.5差不多。 我以后就决定2：0.5了。 2里每段再捎着写1句对比。

lavenderelaineUID: 2689477

三天没写了， 谴责我吧！  2天在睡觉，自己身体真的转不动了。。。剩下时间反思了下， 发现要继续写边写边反思 ，不能停，手生很可怕。
开心的流眼泪的是……终于超时的时间又短了， 超15min TT   。要不断努力！！！ 努力就有成果。
先谢谢大家的批改了~！
2.27：Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? To be well-informed people should get information from many different sources.

When asked about whether people are received information from various sources, the majority of people would say yes. Thanks to the rapid developed society in science and technology, it is not illusion any more and the dream of being a well-informed people comes true. As for me , I am convinced that only by absorbing information can we be able to be a well-informed person.
Adimttedly, along with the invention of computer, ways of learning new information like books and radios are outdate, due to the updating speed of news. Under this circumstance, in order to keep the high pace of the modern society, a well-informed man must try to know the hitting news by plenty of ways instead of only by one way, sitting at home waiting the newspaper posted by postmans every morning.
In addition, the quantity of the information abtained from one way is not enough. The adequate and wide information and knowledge must be accumulated from vast ranges of sources. We are now standing at the beginning of the twenty-first century and will witness this marvelous world changing into a information world day by day. At the same time, information will replace the money becoming the most significant thing in the modern world. Take the students as an simple example, modern students have the capability of mastering advanced information collector--computers, which makes them more excellent than us who were born in the late 1980s. Compared with us, current students do not have to warry about the poor teaching facilities or the single way of learning knowledge that taught by teachers. Computers, study groups, TV and radios enable students to be a learned and will-informed people.
Most importantly, learn information from different ways help us judge whether the information is exactly accurate. As we all know, one thing can't be treasured a truth before it has been proved hundred and thousand times. For the same reason, an piece of information must be proved true before we accept it. Huge number of information we have to handle with everyday and the key point is to sellect true and value information from fake and useless information. Getting information from different ways becomes an efficient method to deal with this problem---telling the true information from the opposite.
By and large, from what has been discussed above I can safely draw the conclusion that it is preferable to abtain information from various sources in stead of one way, if you are desiring to be a well-informed person.