Issue17 法律的公正 谢谢，请留下您的习作链接，一定回拍

rodgoodUID: 2619326

根据lghscu童鞋的一些建议，作了小小的修改哈，请板油们狂拍吧，一定回拍

TOPIC: ISSUE17 - "There are two types of laws: just and unjust. Every individual in a society has a responsibility to obey just laws and, even more importantly, to disobey and resist unjust laws."


When the phrase, "all people are created equal," was first used by Tomas Jefferson in the Declaration of Independence, it could be expected that it would become the belief of people who devote to fighting for equality and justice. But how to guarantee the equality among people? As far as I am concerned, law is one way to make sure individuals enjoying the same rights in the society. So, people should obey laws; but if there, in an overall and long sight, are unjust ones, people are supposed to disobey and resist them.

Laws are bottom lines of behavior in society. Only when everyone obeys them can our equality be embodied and our life be orderly. Society is just like the traffic, in which individuals are pedestrians and groups are cars; while laws are simplified to be traffic rules that regulate the activity patterns of each part. In the current of pedestrians and cars, everyone has his own room for moving and is not allowed to hit or block others. If anyone breaks the rules, not only will he be punlished and probably injured, but also the flow of traffic would be influenced. Similarly, in society, people ought to comply with laws, the rules of society, to preserve the equality and obtain a harmonious life.

Sometimes, however, there would be unjust laws that provide conveniences to someone but bring about lost to others; in these cases, people need to fight for just ones. One of the reasons of unjust laws' birth is that laws, or rules, are made by authorities, who stand for a group of people and must reap benefits for them. History is filled with such examples. In ancient times, women had no rights as men in the society because the rulers are males. Black people once could not enjoy same status as white people for the reason that the dominators as well as the groups they represented had white skins. Those societies were malformed and revolutions were conceived because of injustice prompting oppressed people to stand out. During hundreds of years of struggling, females have become the fresh power in various fields such as politics, economy, science and so forth; black brothers and sisters have broken the fetters of law that deprived of their happiness. Righteousness is always stronger than evil. Thereby, we should have confidence and courage to resist unjust laws rationally.

The position seems to be clear, yet things are usually not so absolutely. One question may show up. How to define the nuances between unjust laws from just ones? When signing a check to pay for tax, many people may complain. Why should I hand in my money unconditionally? It's unjust. But they should realize that the money would be used to build institutions like schools and hospitals, or give financial help to the poor, which will balance the development of the society and even lower the crime rate making our environment safer. Laws are sometimes compromises, like traffic lights, stop someone and let others go alternatively with a result of well-organized traffic. What we need, therefore, is a comprehensive and long version towards laws before we take actions against them.

In sum, most of laws are just and helpful in making equality among people in the society. Occasionally, we may feel unfair since we suffer lost provisionally. We should calm down, put ourselves in others' position, and consider for the whole picture. If necessary, we need to unite and fight against unjust laws in an appropriate way.

rodgoodUID: 2619326

谢谢lghscu童鞋在百忙之中给予了宝贵的建议。本来挺有信心的，看来还需修炼啊~~

plukaUID: 2721764

When the phrase, "all people are created equal," was first used by Tomas Jefferson in the Declaration of Independence, it could be expected that it would become the belief of people who devote to fighting for equality and justice. But how to guarantee the equality among people? As far as I am concerned, law is one way to make sure individuals enjoying the same rights in the society. So, people should obey laws; but if there, in an overall and long sight, are unjust ones, people are supposed to disobey and resist them.（私以为此段中题目的主体——法律不是很突出。开头以平等和公正为中心，而法律的引入只是作为获取平等的手段，貌似被放到了比较从属的位置（尤其是那个law is one way，有其他的way? law是否是最重要的way？）。。感觉好像没有强调法律。）

Laws are bottom lines of behavior in society.（主题句信息量太少。只说是底线，这个底线干嘛的？不如把前两句合并成一个TS） Only when everyone obeys them can our equality be embodied and our life be orderly. Society is just like the traffic, in which individuals are pedestrians and groups are cars;（分号隔开完整的句子，不完整就改用逗号） while laws are simplified to be traffic rules that regulate the activity patterns of each part. In the current of pedestrians and cars, everyone has his own room for moving and is not allowed to hit or block others. If anyone breaks the rules, not only will he be punlished（拼写错误） and probably injured, but also the flow of traffic would be influenced. Similarly, in society, people ought to comply with laws, the rules of society, to preserve the equality and obtain a harmonious life.（对于交通的比喻用于论证法律的规范功能很不错，但是没有很好的论述preserve the equality。从这个比喻中看不出啥类似维持平等的东西）

Sometimes, however, there would be unjust laws that provide conveniences to someone but bring about lost to others; in these cases, people need to fight for just ones. One of the reasons of unjust laws' birth is that laws, or rules, are made by authorities, who stand for a group of people and must reap benefits for them. History is filled with such examples. In ancient times, women had no rights as men in the society because the rulers are males. Black people once could not enjoy same status as white people for the reason that the dominators as well as the groups they represented had white skins. Those societies were malformed and revolutions were conceived because of injustice prompting oppressed people to stand out. During hundreds of years of struggling, females have become the fresh power in various fields such as politics, economy, science and so forth; black brothers and sisters have broken the fetters of law that deprived of their happiness. （例子的选择就不谈了，在忽略掉cliche的前提下看，此段论述OK。还可以更突出重点一些，比如during hundreds句可以更加突出他们的sturggle，以对照TS中的they need to fight。）Righteousness is always stronger than evil. Thereby, we should have confidence and courage to resist unjust laws rationally.（这个rationally在段落中没有回应——除非加上关于反抗手段的论述）

The position seems to be clear, yet things are usually not so absolutely. One question may show up. How to define the nuances（此词意为微小差别：不公正和公正之间的差别微小吗？不能确定就老实用difference之类吧） between unjust laws from just ones? When signing a check to pay for tax, many people may complain. Why should I hand in my money unconditionally? It's unjust. But they should realize that the money would be used to build institutions like schools and hospitals, or give financial help to the poor, which will balance the development of the society and even lower the crime rate making our environment safer. Laws are sometimes compromises, like traffic lights, stop someone and let others go alternatively with a result of well-organized traffic. （比喻很好，跟前文也联系起来了）What we need, therefore, is a comprehensive and long version towards laws before we take actions against them.（这段不错）

In sum, most of laws are just and helpful in making equality among people in the society. Occasionally, we may feel unfair since we suffer lost provisionally. We should calm down, put ourselves in others' position, and consider for the whole picture. If necessary, we need to unite and fight against unjust laws in an appropriate way.
另外的建议：若想让作文显得更客观，减少第一人称的使用。


以上~

rodgoodUID: 2619326

参考pluka童鞋的建议，开头修改为：

Law is the most rational way to make sure individuals enjoying the same right in socity. People should obey laws. On the other hand, when the phrase, “all people are created equal,” was first used by Tomas Jefferson in the Declaration of Independence, it could be expected that it would become the belief of people who devote to fighting for equality and justice when facing laws which are unjust in an overall and long sight.