Phoenix小组组员1号习作issue56

Jane114UID: 2681579

In this era of insignificant social andcultural development leading to intricate social problems, perhaps no one canabsolutely live without any influence of these problems. But whether the mostappropriate way for our government to settle these problems is to focus more onsolving the urgent issues of today rather than endeavor to solve theanticipated problems of the future is open to question.

First of all, no doubt, it is the immediateproblems that need to be solved as fast as governments can, for they are veryclose to our everyday live. When feeling hungry, we need food; when feelingsick, we need medicine and when the night comes, we need to go back home tosleep. If any of these important links, such as medicare, housing and foodsupply emerging important problems, the development of the society may stopped,or even leading to social instability. In addition, if a country was invaded byenemy, it is widely-agreed that all the people should focus on defending his orher country.

Simply put, governments should payattention to the compelling issues for they tend to involve fundamental elementof a society like national security and people's livelihood. Only when noserious problems occurs in such aspects could a society be instable as well asdevelop smoothly.

However, it is still square to claim thatour government should rather solve today's problems than trying to solve theanticipated problems of the future. Although the latter ones are not as urgentas the former ones, it does not mean that the latter ones are not important. Onone hand, it is essential for our leaders to consider further enough to estimatewhat our offspring's life is, whether our social development is soinappropriate that deprives the opportunity of theirs. So, a real responsiblegovernment should devote solving the problems which are seemingly of no concernfor our generation but harmful for the next generation, such as irrationaldevelopment of natural resources like oil and mine. Although enrich us, but impoverishour offspring.

On the other hand, some kind of problemswill not bring bad influence immediately, but will go through a long time andend up with serious tragedy. Such as environmental pollution, initially fewpeople care about it, only as it bring us myriad vexing problems like globalwarming and cancer do we realize how dreadful it is. So, a real wise governmentshould make effort in resolve these problems from the beginning, not until thesituation is incurable.

To sum up, althoughestimated issues of the future is not so urgent as immediate ones of today,they are as well crucial for our society, so both of these two kinds ofproblems should be focused equally. Though restrained by the limited human andfinancial resources, our government should find a balance in solving all kindsof the problems, so as to make our society develops continuously and moresmoothly.

wu-intrepidUID: 2659758

1# Jane114

In this era of insignificant social and cultural development leading to intricate social problems, perhaps no one can absolutely live without any influence of these problems虽然是不错背景开头，但是这句话和原文没有多大关系，专才通才那篇范文的开头是紧扣话题，并且后文都有与之呼应的部分...另外，不建议修改范文句型用，都烂了. But whether the most appropriate way for our government to settle these problems is to focus more onsolving the urgent issues of today rather than endeavor to solve theanticipated problems of the future is open to question.

First of all, no doubt, it is the immediate problems that need to be solved as fast as governments can, for they are very close to our everyday live. When feeling hungry, we need food; when feeling sick, we need medicine and when the night comes, we need to go back home tosleep. If any of these important links, such as medicare, housing and foodsupply emerging important problems这个用法貌似有问题，emerge是不可数名词, the development of the society may stopped,or even leading to social instability. In addition, if a country was invaded by enemy, it is widely-agreed that all the people should focus on defending his orher country为什么呢？要论证，难道还不让我逃难吗？再说，人民参战和政府处理事务是两码事，这个例子不是很恰当.

Simply put, governments should payattention to the compelling issues for they tend to involve fundamental elementof a society like national security and people's livelihood. Only when noserious problems occurs in such aspects could a society be instable as well asdevelop smoothly.

However, it is still square to claim thatour government should rather solve today's problems than trying to solve theanticipated problems of the future. Although the latter ones are not as urgentas the former ones, it does not mean that the latter ones are not important. Onone hand, it is essential for our leaders to consider further enough to estimatewhat our offspring's life is这句话是你论证的前提，问题在于，你没有告诉读者为什么这是essential，至少要论证下，哪怕一句话也好, whether our social development is soinappropriate that deprives the opportunity of theirs. So, a real responsiblegovernment should devote solving the problems which are seemingly of no concernfor our generation but harmful for the next generation, such as irrationaldevelopment of natural resources like oil and mine. Although enrich us, but impoverishour offspring.

On the other hand, some kind of problemswill not bring bad influence immediately, but will go through a long time andend up with serious tragedy. Such as environmental pollution, initially fewpeople care about it, only as it bring us myriad vexing problems like globalwarming and cancer do we realize how dreadful it is. So, a real wise governmentshould make effort in resolve these problems from the beginning, not until thesituation is incurable.

To sum up, althoughestimated issues of the future is not so urgent as immediate ones of today,they are as well crucial for our society, so both of these two kinds ofproblems should be focused equally. Though restrained by the limited human andfinancial resources, our government should find a balance in solving all kindsof the problems, so as to make our society develops continuously and moresmoothly.

文章语言很流畅，看的出功底很好。思路也很清晰，你看最后三段基本我没挑出什么毛病...
部分例子选择地更恰当写、部分论证更深入些，那更好。
一个我认为重要的问题是，你先写解决当下的问题重要，再写解决长远问题也很重要，最后不知怎么就得出结论说要同等对待...两方面都很重要不代表两方面同样重要。对比专才和通才那篇文章，他把专才通才的利弊都分析了一遍，并分析了二者如何有机结合在一起，再得出同样重要的结论。因此，你的全文是不完整的，回答完“为什么同样重要”文章才算完。建议谋篇布局要注意。
总之，你功底让我自叹不如，你应该能得高分的！