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[习作点评] ISSUE50 有拍必回 [复制链接]

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发表于 2010-2-22 19:50:19 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览
本帖最后由 LaoZZZZZ 于 2010-2-26 14:20 编辑

In order to improve the quality of instruction at the college and university level,all faculty should be required to
spend time working outside the academic world in professions relevant to the courses they teach.

When it comes to the issue that whether all faculty should be requested to embark upon work outside the academia
that is relevant to the courses they teach.The speaker asserts that in order to improve the qualitiy of instruction
at the college and university level,this measure should be instituted and implemented at the college and
university.As far as I am concerned,whether this measure should be implemented hinges on the concrete characters and
current condition of each extant curriculum at the college and university.What's more,even if those academica areas
require the teathers with real-world experiences,too redundant outside work might be as bad as not insufficient one.

Admittedly,the break-neck speed of technological innovation and the proliferation of knowlege are outdating the
knowledge published in the textbook.Hence,to keep abreast of current development,the problem that the content
imparted in class should be refreshed with cutting-edge and controversial issues debated in the relative academic
area is starving for effective solutions.And fortunately,the way that requiring teachers to work outside the
academic world could alleviate this problem.With respect to this aspect,it is reasonable and neccessary to implement
this way at the college and university.

Notwithstanding the foregoing merits of this measure,whether requiring teachers to work outside the academia is
suitable for every academic area calls for all-sided  consideration.When it comes to some tradition scientific
fields,in term of chemistry,physics as well as astronautics,which have no thing to do with pratical societal
experiences.In these areas,professors and students could turn to other access to procure the newest issues and
knowledge.For example,participating a relative seminar or studying the newest and authorative papers.With respect to
the innate characters of these academic fields,outside work is inappropriate and even could impede the normal
process of importing knowledge.

Another problem deserving attention is that too much outside work may do harm do instruction.As an old saying
goes:"Going too far is as bad as not going far enough".Computer science whoes innate character could easily result
to this problem is an example in point. As we know, many professors taking charge of curriculums in university
cooperate with outside institutions or company to earn extra proceeds.Unfortunately,due to the complexity and
fallibility of computer work,these cooperation has distracted professors' attention from their real duty-imparting
knowledge ,which is detrimental to instruction.

To sum,with respect to the academic fields where outside work is approprate,moderate outside work in professions
relevant to the courses should be a part of their duty as a teacher,while teachers in other fields should be
exempted from this requirement.
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沙发
发表于 2010-2-22 21:33:51 |只看该作者
In order to improve the quality of instruction at the college and university level,all faculty should be required to spend time working outside the academic world in professions relevant to the courses they teach.

修订版
When it comes to the issue that whether all faculty should be requested to embark upon work outside the academia that is relevant to the courses they teach.The speaker asserts that in order to improve the qualitiy of instruction at the college and university level,this measure should be instituted and implemented at the college and university.As far as I am concerned,whether this measure should be implemented hinges on the concrete characters and current condition of each extant curriculum at the college and university.What's more,even if those academica areas require the teathers with real-world experiences,too redundant outside work might be as bad as not insufficient one.

Admittedly,the break-neck speed of technological innovation and the proliferation of knowlege are outdating the knowledge published in the textbook.Hence,to keep abreast of current development,the problem that the content imparted in class should be refreshed with cutting-edge and controversial issues debated in the relative academic area is starving for effective solutions.And fortunately,the way that requiring teachers to work outside the academic world could alleviate this problem.With respect to this aspect,it is reasonable and neccessary to implement this way at the college and university.

Notwithstanding the foregoing merits of this measure,whether requiring teachers to work outside the academia is suitable for every academic area calls for all-sided  consideration.When it comes to some tradition scientific fields,in term of chemistry,physics as well as astronautics,which have no thing to do with pratical societal experiences.In these areas,professors and students could turn to other access to procure the newest issues and knowledge.For example,participating a relative seminar or studying the newest and authorative papers.With respect to the innate characters of these academic fields,outside work is inappropriate and even could impede the normal process of importing knowledge.

Another problem deserving attention is that too much outside work may do harm do instruction.As an old saying goes:"Going too far is as bad as not going far enough".Computer science whoes innate character could easily result to this problem is an example in point. As we know, many professors taking charge of curriculums in university cooperate with outside institutions or company to earn extra proceeds.Unfortunately,due to the complexity and fallibility of computer work,these cooperation has distracted professors' attention from their real duty-imparting knowledge ,which is detrimental to instruction.

To sum,with respect to the academic fields where outside work is approprate,moderate outside work in professions relevant to the courses should be a part of their duty as a teacher,while teachers in other fields should be exempted from this requirement.

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板凳
发表于 2010-2-23 10:58:32 |只看该作者
When it comes to the issue that whether all faculty should be requested to embark upon work outside the academia that is relevant to the courses they teach. The speaker asserts that in order to improve the qualitiy(quality) of instruction at the college and university level(这句有点啰嗦), this measure should be instituted and implemented at the college and university.(前面两句在重复题目,其实考官也知道题目是什么,所以简单写一下应该就可以了,开门见山说你的观点或许更好) As far as I am concerned, whether this measure should be implemented hinges on the concrete characters and current condition of each extant curriculum at the college and university. What's more, even if those academica(academic) areas require the teathers with real-world experiences, too redundant outside work might be as bad as not insufficient one.

Admittedly, the break-neck speed of technological innovation and the proliferation of knowledge(knowledge) are outdating the knowledge published in the textbook. Hence, to keep abreast of current development, the problem that the content imparted in class should be refreshed with cutting-edge and controversial issues debated in the relative academic area is starving for effective solutions. And fortunately, the way that requiring teachers to work outside the academic world could alleviate this problem. (有语法问题,the way that teachers work outside the academic world could alleviate this problem)With respect to this aspect, it is reasonable and necessary(necessary) to implement this way at the college and university.

Notwithstanding the foregoing merits of this measure, whether requiring teachers to work outside the academia is suitable for every academic area calls for all-sided consideration. When it comes to some tradition scientific fields, in term of chemistry, physics as well as astronautics, which have no thing to do with pratical (practical)societal experiences. In these areas, professors and students could turn to other access to procure the newest issues and knowledge. For example, participating a relative seminar or studying the newest and authorative(authoritative) papers. With respect to the innate characters of these academic fields, outside work is inappropriate and even could impede the normal process of importing knowledge.

Another problem deserving attention is that too much outside work may do harm do instruction. As an old saying goes: "Going too far is as bad as not going far enough". Computer science whoes(whose) innate character could easily result to this problem is an example in point. As we know, many professors taking charge of curriculums in university cooperate with outside institutions or company to earn extra proceeds. Unfortunately, due to the complexity and fallibility of computer work, these cooperation has distracted professors' attention from their real duty-imparting knowledge , which is detrimental to instruction.

To sum,with respect to the academic fields where outside work is approprate,moderate outside work in professions relevant to the courses should be a part of their duty as a teacher,while teachers in other fields should be exempted from this requirement.

总的来说拼写比较多小错误,语法错误不多,但是建议在第二段开头直接写明有些专业是适合work outside的,小小意见,有问题互相交流,还请帮我拍拍https://bbs.gter.net/thread-1062890-1-1.html

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地板
发表于 2010-2-23 12:59:34 |只看该作者
In order to improve the quality of instruction at the college and university level,all faculty should be required to spend time working outside the academic world in professions relevant to the courses they teach.

修订版
When it comes to the issue that whether all faculty should be requested to embark upon work outside the academia that(which) is relevant to the courses they teach.The speaker asserts that in order to improve the qualitiy of instruction at the college and university level,this measure should be instituted and implemented (at the college and university和前面重复了,可选择删一个).As far as I am concerned,whether this measure should be implemented hinges on the concrete characters and current condition of each extant curriculum at the college and university.What's more,even if those academica areas require the teathers with real-world experiences,too redundant outside work might be as bad as not insufficient one.逻辑很清楚,但是开头这段很有北美范文的感觉~~~

Admittedly(建议吧这个词后再最好你写坏处的地方),the break-neck speed of technological innovation and the proliferation of knowlege are outdating the knowledge published in the textbook.Hence,to keep abreast of current development,the problem that the content imparted in class should be refreshed with cutting-edge and controversial issues debated in the relative academic area is starving for effective solutions.And fortunately,the way that requiring teachers to work outside the academic world could alleviate this problem.With respect to this aspect,it is reasonable and neccessary to implement this way at the college and university.很流畅~好多高级词汇哦~~学习之

Notwithstanding the foregoing merits of this measure,whether requiring teachers to work outside the academia is suitable for every academic area calls for all-sided  consideration.When it comes to some tradition scientific fields,in term of chemistry,physics as well as astronautics,which have no thing to do with pratical societal experiences.In these areas,professors and students could turn to other access to procure the newest issues and knowledge.For example,participating a relative seminar or studying the newest and authorative papers.With respect to the innate characters of these academic fields,outside work is inappropriate and even could impede the normal process of importing knowledge.写的不错~好像在哪里看到过

Another problem deserving attention is that too much outside work may do harm do instruction.As an old saying goes:"Going too far is as bad as not going far enough".用的好Computer science whoes innate character could easily result to this problem is an example in point. As we know, many professors taking charge of curriculums in university cooperate with outside institutions or company to earn extra proceeds.Unfortunately,due to the complexity and fallibility of computer work,these cooperation has distracted professors' attention from their real duty-imparting knowledge ,which is detrimental to instruction.

To sum,with respect to the academic fields where outside work is approprate,moderate outside work in professions relevant to the courses should be a part of their duty as a teacher,while teachers in other fields should be exempted from this requirement.这篇文章用两段来写工作的坏处,和结尾句似乎不是很对应

总的来说文章很流畅也很清晰,感觉作者文采不错(也许背了很多北美句子)。。。学习之

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发表于 2010-2-23 15:00:48 |只看该作者
3# nannan6474

写完后,我也这么觉得的。。第二段将工作的好处的理由有点少了,应该加一点。

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发表于 2010-2-23 15:02:35 |只看该作者
4# dly89418

是借鉴了北美的范文,毕竟是刚开始写,我觉得有必要借鉴和学习的,背几篇北美范文绝对没有什么坏处的

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发表于 2010-2-23 19:15:07 |只看该作者
6# LaoZZZZZ
When it comes to the issue that whether all faculty should be requested to embark upon work outside the academia that is relevant to the courses they teach.The speaker asserts that in order to improve the qualitiy of instruction at the college and university level,this measure should be instituted and implemented at the college and university.As far as I am concerned,whether this measure should be implemented hinges on the concrete characters and current condition of each extant curriculum at the college and university.What's more,even if those academica areas require the teathers with real-world experiences,too redundant outside work might be as bad as not insufficient one.(感觉开头很挺好)

Admittedly,the break-neck speed of technological innovation and the proliferation of knowlege are outdating the knowledge published in the textbook.Hence,to keep abreast of current development,the problem that the content imparted in class should be refreshed with cutting-edge and controversial issues debated in the relative academic area is starving for effective solutions.And fortunately,the way that requiring teachers to work outside the academic world could alleviate this problem.With respect to this aspect,it is reasonable and neccessary to implement this way at the college and university.(很多词用得不错)

Notwithstanding the foregoing merits of this measure,whether requiring teachers to work outside the academia is suitable for every academic area calls for all-sided  consideration.When it comes to some tradition scientific fields,in term of chemistry,physics as well as astronautics,which have no
thing/nothing to do with pratical societal experiences.In these areas,professors and students could turn to other access to procure the newest issues and knowledge.For example,participating a relative seminar or studying the newest and authorative papers.With respect to the innate characters of these academic fields,outside work is inappropriate and even could impede the normal process of importing knowledge.(这里最好深入详细讨论下为什么这些学科不适合这个方法)

Another problem deserving attention is that too much outside work may do harm do/to
instruction.As an old saying goes:"Going too far is as bad as not going far enough".Computer science whoes innate character could easily result to this problem is an example in point. As we know, many professors taking charge of curriculums in university cooperate with outside institutions or company to earn extra proceeds.Unfortunately,due to the complexity and fallibility of computer work,these cooperation has distracted professors' attention from their real duty-imparting knowledge ,which is detrimental to instruction.(呵呵,切身感受)

To sum,with respect to the academic fields where outside work is approprate,moderate outside work in professions relevant to the courses should be a part of their duty as a teacher,while teachers in other fields should be exempted from this requirement.(结尾的时候还可以稍带下倒数第二段的论点)

相比之前的文章,这篇里面多了很多用得不错的较好的词汇。整体逻辑思路上也挺好。不过论点分散成三段后建议可以适当详略突出下。个人意见,一起讨论~

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RE: ISSUE50 有拍必回 [修改]

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