Issue 112,考前14天，有拍必回~

tunicateUID: 2722773

TOPIC: ISSUE112 - "Some educational systems emphasize the development of students' capacity for reasoning and logical thinking, but students would benefit more from an education that also taught them to explore their own emotions."
WORDS: 549
TIME: 00:39:43
DATE: 2010/2/21 22:04:40

There have been a wide-spread tendency of emphasize people's ability of logical thinking and analysis, yet more and more educators begin to notice the importance of highlighting the crucial role of emotion if one is to be success. From my point of view, however, though logical thinking and reasoning serves as the basis in one's future vocation, the emotion is a necessary addition, for it is a double-edged blade that can either promote one's ability or restrain his/her career. And that's why educational system should pay more attention to the development of students' exploration of their emotion.

There's numerous examples throughout the history in which one's protential【potential】 success was overshadowed by his/her lack of ability to control his/her emotion. Zidane, the famous French football player, became agitated by one of the Italian players and hutting towards him, which left him sent out by a red card and the failure of French Team. It was a pitty【pity】, and lots of people might have recommend," If only he had more control over his emotion, this would have been avoid." Yet the lack of ability on controlling his emotion led to his tragedy. Besides the realm of sports, the same pities were persuasive among the history, and the only possible mean to avoid it may be a considerable amount of emphasis on people's early education. But for the curriculum concerning all logical abilities, students should also ask to explore their own emotion and find those weak points like agitatability. By doing so, and by the following education on how to overcome such emotional weak points, a student may by better prepared for their future.

Furthermore, it is far from enough merely educating students on their abilities of control over their emotion. By taking a good use of it, on the other hand, provide much more opportunity leading to accomplishment. In political realm, for instance, one figure that is well-known for his enthusiasm and patriosm【patriotism】 is Patrick Henry. This eminent figure, by devotedly delivering the famous "Give me liberty or give me death", provoked thousands of American【Americans，可数】 in Virginia to stand up and fight for freedom. As for business field, such ability is highly valuable, too. In order to popularize and propagandize one's products, he or she may try every mean to arise the emotional consonic【consonance】 from the customers by exhibiting his/her own affection. Thus, if the educational system spare enough attention to tutoring the exploration of individuals' emotions and guiding them how to use it in a proper way, one is more likely to succeed in various grounds.


To strengthen the idea of emotional education doesn't mean that logical thinking could be underestimated. In fact, the two process help to consummate each other in most occassions【occasions】. By exploring and make use of one's emotion, one may make his/her logical address and analysis more acceptable to the masses; by developing a cogent way of thinking and reasoning, one is relatively easier to seize control over his/her emotion.

Thus, to develop and consummate our educational system, we should continue our emphasis on the education of one's reasoning ability, while at the same time set up special courses targeting their emotional abilities. A balance is called to be obtained, of course. And so long as the balance is indeed obtained, we will be one step nearer towards perfect.

plukaUID: 2721764

There have been a wide-spread tendency of emphasize people's ability of logical thinking and analysis, yet more and more educators begin to notice the importance of highlighting the crucial role of emotion if one is to be success. From my point of view, however,（此句与上句无转折关系，去掉） though logical thinking and reasoning serves as the basis in one's future vocation, the emotion is a necessary addition, for it is a double-edged blade that can either promote one's ability or restrain his/her career. And that's why educational system should pay more attention to the development of students' exploration of their emotion.（开头态度明确，但可以再简练一些）

There's numerous examples throughout the history in which one's protential【potential】 success was overshadowed by his/her lack of ability to control his/her emotion. Zidane, the famous French football player, became agitated by one of the Italian players and hutting（hit？） towards him, which left him sent out by a red card and the failure of French Team（这部分的谓语是？搭配不妥）. It was a pitty【pity】, and lots of people might have recommend," If only he had more control over his emotion, this would have been avoid." Yet the lack of ability on controlling his emotion led to his tragedy.（主题句说的是成功因情绪控制不当而失色，但这里似乎没有成功。除非主题句是情绪控制不当阻止成功之类，这个例子似乎不是很切TS） Besides the realm of sports, the same pities were persuasive among the history, and the only possible mean to avoid it may be a considerable amount of emphasis on people's early education.（为何说是only mean？失之绝对。可以说是an effective mean之类） But for（短语不妥。此短语意为“要不是”，不合语境） the curriculum concerning all logical abilities, students should also ask to explore their own emotion and find those weak points like agitatability. By doing so, and by the following education on how to overcome such emotional weak points, a student may by better prepared for their future.

Furthermore, it is far from enough merely educating students on their abilities of control over their emotion.（此句意思是“仅仅学会控制情绪是不够的”？这个TS显得不是很明确。不如跟下一句结合起来。） By taking a good use of it（it指代谁）, on the other hand, provide much more opportunity leading to accomplishment. In political realm, for instance, one figure that is well-known for his enthusiasm and patriosm【patriotism】 is Patrick Henry. This eminent figure, by devotedly delivering the famous "Give me liberty or give me death", provoked thousands of American【Americans，可数】 in Virginia to stand up and fight for freedom. As for business field, such ability is highly valuable, too. In order to popularize and propagandize one's products, he or she may try every mean to arise the emotional consonic【consonance】 from the customers by exhibiting his/her own affection. Thus, if the educational system spare enough attention to tutoring the exploration of individuals' emotions and guiding them how to use it in a proper way, one is more likely to succeed in various grounds.（例子相关，但似乎不是特别有说服力。此外，最后一句thus不知道为啥让俺觉得有以偏概全错误因果的感觉= =可以当做是个人胡言乱语）

To strengthen the idea of emotional education doesn't mean that logical thinking could be underestimated. In fact, the two process help to consummate each other in most occassions【occasions】. By exploring and make use of one's emotion, one may make his/her logical address and analysis more acceptable to the masses; by developing a cogent way of thinking and reasoning, one is relatively easier to seize control over his/her emotion. （加点例子或进一步发展）

Thus, to develop and consummate our educational system, we should continue our emphasis on the education of one's reasoning ability, while at the same time set up special courses targeting their emotional abilities. A balance is called to be obtained, of course. And so long as the balance is indeed obtained, we will be one step nearer towards perfect.（这个结尾像是平衡观点，然而从篇幅和内容上来看却不是。emotion的篇幅明显超过了逻辑啥的。如果要balance，最后考虑一下内容分配和重心的平衡）