issue46 新手上路第一篇，竞争与合作~望狠拍，必回

ella_dylUID: 2595060

46"While some leaders in government, sports, industry, and other areas attribute their success to a well-developed sense of competition, a society can better prepare its young people for leadership by instilling in them a sense of cooperation."

619Words  未限时 参照一些参考书的论证概念与表述方法

Competition and cooperation is a timeless topic in our society. Nowadays, many social elites attribute their success to a strong sense of competition. However, the statement suggests that a sense of cooperation is more important when training young people for leadership. In response to this issue, we have to analyze proposition comprehensively and systematically.

We have to admit that competition spirit is indispensable in the character of a leader. Leaders are pioneers of our society as well as ordinary individuals, which requires that they should be distinctive and extraordinary. By competition, they continuously improve themselves at a rate of exceeding their competitors. Day after day, they keep asking themselves questions. Are my competitors better than I am? What's my advantage? How can I make full use of it? What's my deficiency? How can I improve myself? What can I learn from my competitors? Such thoughts urge them to re-evaluate and to improve. Just think about an election in our childhood. At that time, each class would elect one student as a monitor responsible for the tutorship of study. In order to take that position, candidates worked extremely hard to convince us that he or she was the best academically. Competition is kind of pressure, which arouses ambition for knowledge and development. When watching a basketball game, we usually find the leader of a team is someone who is something unusual in some aspects---perhaps advanced technique or well-developed sense of organization, etc. All mentioned above illustrate the point that competition is an essential driving force of each individual to pursue excellence.

Despite the merits, however, competition also has its negative side. When competitors place too much emphasis on the result, terrible situation may occur. Cheating is the most common method when they try to defeat other competitors. Commercial fraud and doping cases in Olympic Games are two typical examples. Such employment of negative campaigning can only lead to a harmful, downward social trend. Thus, it is crucial for leaders to understand that process is more important than result.

Not only competition is important, cooperation is also necessary. As a leader, the desire to compete with others is a common impetus to success, but the ability to cooperating with each other is the determinant factor measuring how far the leader will go. We all know the predominance of colony in ecology. Likewise, a good sense of cooperation will motivate individuals to organize into a group and form a stronger competitive force. The success of New Oriental School (mainly focus on English training in China) is such a model. Yu Minhong, CEO of this school, is actually not so good at English. However, with successful cooperation with his partner, N.W. School has become one of the most famous brands in China. Teachers of N.W. School said that Yu is a wonderful leader in that he has a special charismatic inspiration, which motivates all the staff and attracts more excellent teachers to join his team. Therefore, we can conclude that leaders are responsible to create a cooperative environment in which effectiveness of the team reaches its highest. Otherwise, the path to the goal will be bumpy.

Besides competition and cooperation, there are also some qualities associated with leadership. They include: the sense of creation, charismatic inspiration, the clear sense of mission, optimism, etc. These qualities also play significant roles in the success of leaders.

Without the sense of competition, leader will become aimless and complacent. Without the sense of cooperation, goals can not be perfectly achieved. Thus, while the modern society is highly-competitive, the sense of cooperation is equally important for leaders. The sense of competition drives them forward as an individual while the sense of cooperation endows them with enjoyment of teamwork.

ella_dylUID: 2595060

自己顶一下吧

prettywraithUID: 197049

Competition and cooperation is a timeless topic in our society. Nowadays, many social elites attribute their success to a strong sense of competition. However, the statement suggests that a sense of cooperation is more important when training young people for leadership.（when省略主语和系动词的用法需要主语明确的时候使用吧？也就是说这里你省略的主语在这句话前面有重复的，但是我找了一下没翻译通） In response to this issue, we have to analyze proposition comprehensively and systematically.
We have to admit that competition spirit is indispensable in the character of a leader. Leaders are pioneers of our society as well as ordinary individuals, which requires that they should be distinctive and extraordinary. By competition, they continuously improve themselves at a rate of exceeding their competitors. Day after day, they keep asking themselves questions. Are my competitors better than I am（是I am？么）? What's my advantage? How can I make full use of it? What's my deficiency? How can I improve myself? What can I learn from my competitors? Such thoughts urge them to re-evaluate and to improve. Just think about an election in our childhood. At that time, each class would elect one student as a monitor responsible for the tutorship of study. In order to take that position, candidates worked extremely hard to convince us that he or she was the best academically（her performance was the best. 是否可以？
）. Competition is kind of pressure, which arouses ambition for knowledge and development. When watching a basketball game, we usually find the leader of a team is someone who is something unusual in some aspects---perhaps advanced technique or well-developed sense of organization, etc. All mentioned above illustrate the point that competition is an essential driving force of each individual to pursue excellence.
写的挺好的，没什么太多可以改的。除了选班长的那个例子，可以考虑换一下，换成大选校园的竞选，尽量贴近美国生活。

Despite the merits, however, competition also has its negative side. When competitors place too much emphasis on the result, terrible situation may occur. Cheating is the most common method when they try to defeat other competitors. Commercial fraud and doping cases in Olympic Games are two typical examples. Such employment of negative campaigning can only lead to a harmful, downward social trend. Thus, it is crucial for leaders to understand that process is more important than result.（例子举得挺好的，但是我觉得和过程和结果联系起来就不太好了。是否可以从过度竞争的危害来考虑呢？）

Not only competition is important（呵呵，要倒装地not only is….）, cooperation is also necessary. As a leader, the desire to compete with others is a common impetus to success, but the ability to cooperating with each other is the determinant factor measuring how far the leader will go. We all know the predominance of colony in ecology. (你是说生态平衡？) Likewise, a good sense of cooperation will motivate individuals to organize into a group and form a stronger competitive force. The success of New Oriental School (mainly focus on English training in China) is such a model.（最好不要谈老俞，ets可是恨他恨得咬牙切齿，呵呵）Yu Minhong, CEO of this school, is actually not so good at English. However, with successful cooperation with his partner, N.W. School has become one of the most famous brands in China. Teachers of N.W. School said that Yu is a wonderful leader in that he has a special charismatic inspiration, which motivates all the staff and attracts more excellent teachers to join his team. Therefore, we can conclude that leaders are responsible to create a cooperative environment in which effectiveness of the team reaches its highest. Otherwise, the path to the goal will be bumpy.（这句话用的好）

Besides competition and cooperation, there are also some qualities associated with leadership. They include: the sense of creation, charismatic inspiration, the clear sense of mission, optimism, etc. These qualities also play significant roles in the success of leaders.
Without the sense of competition, leader will become aimless and complacent. Without the sense of cooperation, goals can not be perfectly achieved. Thus, while the modern society is highly-competitive, the sense of cooperation is equally important for leaders. The sense of competition drives them forward as an individual while the sense of cooperation endows them with enjoyment（benefits怎么样？）
of teamwork.

考试能写成这样应该会有个不错的分数。呵呵，加油！

ella_dylUID: 2595060

太感谢了！第一篇文章能得到高质量的修改，让我很有动力继续加油~~
觉得有关老俞和班长竞选那个幼稚例子的建议很对~还有那些语法和表述上的问题，再次感谢你~改的好仔细
有两个问题探讨一下：
第一个是关于那个predominance of colony in ecology，我想说的是群体优势，不知道这个表达是不是地道；
第二个是关于第三段，我的想法是：当人们太注重sense of competition时，往往就会过于关注结果，而不关注过程，进而会出现种种不正当手段，就像cheating这种。
当时换了一种表述，没点明过度~是不是就按我上面说的逻辑改一下就更清楚一些？
3# prettywraith

prettywraithUID: 197049

有两个问题探讨一下：
第一个是关于那个predominance of colony in ecology，我想说的是群体优势，不知道这个表达是不是地道；——哦，这个不太清楚，你要是说汉语我觉得这么写实没问题的。英语的相应表达，你再查一下吧。我查了一下没找到。
第二个是关于第三段，我的想法是：当人们太注重sense of competition时，往往就会过于关注结果，而不关注过程，进而会出现种种不正当手段，就像cheating这种。
当时换了一种表述，没点明过度~是不是就按我上面说的逻辑改一下就更清楚一些？——你要这样写可以。但是对于什么导致了过度竞争这个问题上，我觉得和过于关注结果并没有太直接关系。当然你这么写逻辑上是没问题的。