寄托天下
查看: 1287|回复: 2
打印 上一主题 下一主题

[a习作temp] Argument238 by dgxy08[big fish] [复制链接]

Rank: 2

声望
0
寄托币
171
注册时间
2009-2-7
精华
0
帖子
2
跳转到指定楼层
楼主
发表于 2010-2-25 20:30:57 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览
本帖最后由 dgxy08 于 2010-2-25 21:25 编辑

238.The following appeared in a memorandum from the president of MiraVista College to the college's board of trustees.

"At nearby Green Mountain College, which has more business courses and more job counsellor than does Mira Vista College, 90 percent of last year's graduating seniors had job offers from prospective employers. But at Mira Vista College last year, only 70 percent of the seniors who informed the placement office that they would be seeking employment had found full-time jobs within three months after graduation, and only half of these graduates were employed in their major field of study. To help Mira Vista's graduates find employment, we must offer more courses in business and computer technology and hire additional job counselors to help students with their resumes and interviewing skills."

邻近的Green Mountain学院拥有比Mira Vista学院更多的商业课程和就业顾问,去年其毕业生有90%得到了公司的工作机会。但去年在Mira
Vista,所有通知了就业办公室说他们要就业的毕业生中只有70%的人在毕业后三个月内找到全职工作,而且这些毕业生只有一半在本专业就业。为帮助Mira Vista的毕业生找到工作,我们必须提供更多的商业和计算机技术课程,并雇佣更多的就业顾问来帮助学生提高准备简历和面试的技巧。

The president of MiraVista College concedes that more courses in business and computer technology and additional job counselors should be provided for the reason that this can help students with their resumes and interviewing skills.To justify this conclusion, the president of  of MiraVista College cites a survey from  Green Mountain College and the statistics in the placement office of MiraVista College. However, careful examination of this supporting evidence reveal that it lends little credible support to the president' claim.

First, the president does not point out how many did graduates, in Green Mountain, find their job within three months, and how many did they engage their major field of study, while the president tell us that 90 percent of last year's graduating seniors have got their job opportunity.  Maybe there are only 10% percent of last year's graduating seniors at Green Mountain College had job offers from prospective employers within three months and none of them are employed in their major field of study.  
Second, from the memorandum, we cannot obtain the information that the situation of placement before last year at the two colleges, whether the situation in Green Moutain is always better than it is in MiraVista College. Besides, the data about MiraVista College does not supply information about the seniors who did not informed the placement office. It is entirely possible that there are only a little people informed the placement office and most of graduated who have got job does not inform the placement office.  

Finally, we cannot make sure that the more business courses and more job counselors help more students obtain their job opportunities, even through the situation of placement at Green Mountain College is better. May there are more practice opportunities at Green Mountain College and the cooperation with enterprise at Green Moutain provide the graduates more convenient. After all, there are a number of factors to determine the situation of placement. In short without better evidence that the survey is statistically reliable the mayor cannot rely on it to draw the conclusion that with more courses in business and computer technology and additional job counselors, students can promote their resumes and interviewing skills.

In sum, though the argument seems to be plausible, in fact, it is neither sound nor persuasive. Not only does it leave out such key issues, but also cites in the analysis the evidence, which does not lend strong support to what arguer's claim. If the august includes the given factors disucssed above, it would have been more thorough and adequate.
0 0

使用道具 举报

Rank: 9Rank: 9Rank: 9

声望
645
寄托币
7269
注册时间
2009-4-6
精华
0
帖子
237
沙发
发表于 2010-2-25 21:00:14 |只看该作者
请lz注意正确的发帖格式, 相关内容可以参考这个帖子:
https://bbs.gter.net/viewthread.php?tid=1042201

修改完后, 请通过站内短消息pm我一下, 谢谢^^
Because of you.

使用道具 举报

Rank: 2

声望
0
寄托币
156
注册时间
2009-8-3
精华
0
帖子
4
板凳
发表于 2010-2-26 15:16:27 |只看该作者
The president of MiraVista College concedes that more courses in business and computer technology and additional job counselors should be provided for the reason that this can help students with their resumes and interviewing skills. To justify this conclusion, the president of  of MiraVista College cites a survey from  Green Mountain College and the statistics in the placement office of MiraVista College.(用被动式看上去比较舒服) However, careful examination of this supporting evidence reveal that it lends little credible support to the president' claim.

First, the president does not point out how many did graduates, in Green Mountain, find their job within three months, and how many did they engage
in their major field of study, while the president tell us that 90 percent of last year's graduating seniors have got their job opportunity
(复数).  Maybe there are only 10% percent of last year's graduating seniors at Green Mountain College had job offers from prospective employers within three months and none of them are employed in their major field of study.  
Second, from the memorandum, we cannot obtain the information that the situation of placement before last year at the two colleges, whether the situation in Green Moutain is always better than it is in MiraVista College. Besides, the data about MiraVista College does not supply information about the seniors who did not informed the placement office
(
不是Data supply). It is entirely possible that there are only a littlefew people informed the placement office好像不是这么说的吧) and most of graduatedgraduates who have got job does(do) not inform the placement office.  

Finally, we cannot make sure that the more business courses and more job counselors help more students obtain their job opportunities, even through the situation of placement at Green Mountain College is better. May there are more practice opportunities at Green Mountain College and the cooperation with enterprise at Green Moutain provide the graduates more convenient. After all, there are a number of factors to
(that) determine(influences)
the situation of placement. In short without better evidence that the survey is statistically reliable the mayor cannot rely on it to draw the conclusion that with more courses in business and computer technology and additional job counselors, students can promote their resumes and interviewing skills.

In sum, though the argument seems to be plausible, in fact, it is neither sound nor persuasive. Not only does it leave out such key issues, but also cites in the analysis the evidence, which does not lend strong support to what arguer's claim. If the august includes the given factors discussed above, it would have been more thorough and adequate.


Argument写的不错哈,小错误少点,句式多点就ok 啦,我现在Argument总是限不了时,诶,加油~~

使用道具 举报

RE: Argument238 by dgxy08[big fish] [修改]

问答
Offer
投票
面经
最新
精华
转发
转发该帖子
Argument238 by dgxy08[big fish]
https://bbs.gter.net/thread-1064195-1-1.html
复制链接
发送
回顶部