issue50 剩12天了，诚求指点（有拍必回）

十二国记UID: 2486274

TOPIC: ISSUE50 - "In order to improve the quality of instruction at the college and university level, all faculty should be required to spend time working outside the academic world in professions relevant to the courses they teach."
WORDS: 530          TIME: 00:45:00          DATE: 2010-2-26 16:35:44
提纲
1、（正面）老师在外工作能够更新他的知识，并帮助他理论联系实际，提高教学质量。
2、（正面）老师的职业经验能够帮助学生更好的就业。
3、（反面）对于理论和文艺研究，在外工作对老师作用不大。
4、（反面）现已有很多学校和企业交流的渠道。
In the era of explosive knowledge, the speed that new knowledge emerges is becoming faster and faster. Many contents used to be taught in university cann't follow the step of outside world. As a result, many students complain that their knowledge gained from university become useless in their career life. This phenomenon should be pondered by universities and some effective measurements should be carried out to improve it.

Comparing with the fast development of modern technology, the stagnancy of updating teaching contents in university result in the low quality of instruction at the college and university level. Especially in the application disciplines, such as engineering courses, most advancing knowledge come from modern plants. Without contacting with these modern plants, teachers cannot master the advancement technology and what they teach students may be out of date, and even wrong. Furthermore, the professional experience can provide teachers a necessary impetus for connecting the theory with the practice, which will certainly make the course more attracting to students. The teaching quality and the students' interests will be elevated. In that sense, workings outside university may  update teachers' knowledge and help them combinate theory with practice.

Moreover, teachers with professional experience may help instruct students' career plan. Nowadays, How to succeed in finding a contenting job becomes one of the most concerned issues among students. The big problems is that most students have not adapted themselves to get used to the society after college life. What they learned are not necessary in work and they don't have a clear career plan. If teachers have already worked in some occupations, they surely know what the occupation require and they will cultivate students in a clear direction so that students will prepare better for their future job.

However, not denying the merits of professional experience, it doesn't apply for all disciplines. Many theoretical and artistic researches are focused in university and institutes. Only in such ivory tower, they can concentrate themselves in research. If a theoretical physicist are sent to work in a mechanical plant, he/she just can gain nothing to help research but waste time. And with respect to some liberal discipline such as history, it's as well meaningless to force teachers to work outside, since knowledge in university is in a higher level than outside.What's more, It's counterproductive to send all teachers to work outside, this compulsory action may result in resenting from teachers.

Actually, there are already some channels for teacher contacting with outside world. Some university will organize students to pay a visit to factories. College teachers are frequently invited to plants and exchange mutually perspectives with engineers. Some institutes are established in order to enhance the cooperation between university and local industry. In my opinion, These actions are more practicable than requiring teachers working in professions, although which are relevant to the course they teach.

Last but not least, It's essential for college and university to keep up with outside world and update their knowledge in time, which is both beneficial for students and teachers. However, there are various measurements to accomplish this destination. We should choose a more practicable way to realize it rather than forcing all teachers working outside.

十二国记UID: 2486274

唉，都没人回啊，板上的各位都在忙什么啊，也不互改下。

NEU公孙轩辕UID: 2697609

  非常感谢十二国记对我习作的修改

提纲
1、（正面）老师在外工作能够更新他的知识，并帮助他理论联系实际，提高教学质量。
2、（正面）老师的职业经验能够帮助学生更好的就业。
3、（反面）对于理论和文艺研究，在外工作对老师作用不大。
4、（反面）现已有很多学校和企业交流的渠道。
In the era of explosive knowledge, the speed that new knowledge emerges is becoming faster and faster. Many contents used to be taught in university cann't/can`t follow the step of outside world. As a result, many students complain that their knowledge gained from university become useless in their career life. This phenomenon should be pondered by universities and some effective measurements should be carried out to improve it. (未提作者观点，建议首段最后一句说明作者态度，并且这一段里没有一处和quality of instruction有关，只是在讲要更新知识，没有把更新知识和教学质量联系起来，很容易让人认为作者没有抓住问题实质。个人意见：如题失败）

Comparing with the fast development of modern technology, the stagnancy of updating teaching contents in university result in the low quality of instruction at the college and university level.（逻辑不严密：教授的知识不更新的原因1大学的基础知识都是经过反复推敲的，没有什么可以更改的2即便不更新，也不是造成教学质量不高的直接原因，还有更多关键的因素） Especially in the application disciplines, such as engineering courses, most advancing knowledge come from modern plants. Without contacting with these modern plants, teachers cannot master the advancement technology and what they teach students may be out of date, and even wrong. Furthermore, the professional experience can provide teachers a necessary impetus for connecting the theory with the practice, which will certainly make the course more attracting to students. Accordingly(逻辑连接）,the teaching quality and the students' interests will be elevated. In that sense, workings outside university may update teachers' knowledge and help them combinate theory with practice.

Moreover, teachers with professional experience may help instruct students' career plan. Nowadays, How to succeed in finding a contenting job becomes one of the most concerned issues among students. The big problems is that most students have not adapted themselves to get used to the society after college life. What they learned are not necessary in work and they don't have a clear career plan. If teachers have already worked in some occupations, they surely know what the occupation require and they will cultivate students in a clear direction so that students will prepare better for their future job. （题目讨论的是外出工作对教学质量是否有提高，没有说是否对学生就业有影响，上一段说理论联系实际可以提高教学质量是没问题。个人意见：这段偏题）

However, not denying the merits of professional experience, it doesn't apply for all disciplines. Many theoretical and artistic researches are focused in university and institutes. Only in such ivory tower, they can concentrate themselves in research. If a theoretical physicist are sent to work in a mechanical plant, he/she（he or she,作者的用法表达的是一个人既是男的又是女的.....) just can gain nothing to help research but waste time. And with respect to(学习了！） some liberal disciplines such as history, it's as well meaningless to force teachers to work outside, since knowledge in university is in a higher level than outside.（难道仅仅因为学校的学术水平必社会高，教师外出工作就没有意义么？我觉得校园的学术发展对于带动社会的发展还是很有意义的，所以作者这里忽略了到底站在谁的立场上来思考问题。另外历史学家也可以参加考古活动，这也是很有意义的事情，所以这句话举例不太贴切，论证也存在漏洞）What's more, It's counterproductive to send all teachers to work outside, this compulsory action may result in resenting from teachers.

Actually, there are already some channels for teacher contacting with outside world. Some university will organize students to pay a visit to factories. College teachers are frequently invited to plants and exchange mutually（exchange 已经包含相互的意思了，这里删去该词） perspectives with engineers. Some institutes are established in order to enhance the cooperation between university and local industry. In my opinion, These actions are more practicable than requiring teachers working in professions, although which are relevant to the course they teach.

Last but not least, It's essential for college and university to keep up with outside world and update their knowledge in time, which is both beneficial for students and teachers. However, there are various measurements to accomplish this destination. We should choose a more practicable way to realize it rather than forcing all teachers working outside.（这里还是只是讲更新知识的必要性，并且没有和quality of instruction联系上，再加上开头也没有注意这一点，给我的感觉是作者没有很好的把教师外出工作和教学质量之间联系起来）


直说问题：
通篇看下来，只有第二段明确提到了老师外出工作和教学质量的关系，其它段落连quality of instruction这样的字眼都没有出现，并且开头和结尾都直说更新知识，这只是老师外出工作的一个可能结果，这和题目想要谈的：和教学质量的提高不是一回事儿，所以总体来说作者有些偏题（个人意见）
建议：1 作者应该紧紧围绕 外出工作and 教学质量 来展开文章，并且在开头和结尾一定要亮明作者观点（对非牛人级别来说，牛人排除）
         2 论点尽量考虑周全，不要出现漏洞

如有不当，一起讨论  

十二国记UID: 2486274

In the era of explosive knowledge, the speed that new knowledge emerges is becoming faster and faster. Many contents used to be taught in university can`t follow the step of outside world, which is considered as an important reason for the decreasing quality of instruction at the college. For example, many students complain that their knowledge gained from university become useless in their career life. Such phenomenon should be pondered by universities and some effective measurements should be carried out to improve it.
In my opinon, the action that all teachers should work outside to imporve the educational quality is merely applicable for some disciplines.
(未提作者观点，建议首段最后一句说明作者态度，并且这一段里没有一处和quality of instruction有关，只是在讲要更新知识，没有把更新知识和教学质量联系起来，很容易让人认为作者没有抓住问题实质。个人意见：如题失败）（把知识落后作为教学质量下降的一个主要原因，并提出观点，作者的提议仅仅适用于部分应用学科的教师）

Comparing with the fast development of modern technology, the relative stagnancy of updating applicable contents in university is one of the important reason resulting in the low quality of instruction for high level students at the college and university level..（逻辑不严密：教授的知识不更新的原因1大学的基础知识都是经过反复推敲的，没有什么可以更改的2即便不更新，也不是造成教学质量不高的直接原因，还有更多关键的因素）
（这里修改为知识的相对更新慢是大学对于高年级学生教学质量下降的一个原因，毕竟外面知识在日新月异的发展，而大学里面不仅要教授基础知识还要教授高级应用知识，那些应用性的知识是要保持和外界同步的。） Especially in the engineering disciplines, most advancing knowledge come from modern plants. Without contacting with these modern plants, teachers cannot master the advancement technology and what they teach students may be out of date, and even wrong. Teachers work outside can help them know the latest knowledge in their academic field and make sure their teaching contents keep up with outside world, which will promise what students learn will be useful in their career life. In that sense, the quality of instruction will be improved since students gain effective knowledge. Furthermore, the professional experience can provide teachers a necessary impetus for connecting the theory with the practice, which will certainly make the course more attracting to students. Accordingly, the teaching quality and the students' interests will be elevated. In that sense, workings outside university may update teachers' knowledge and help them combinate theory with practice.

Moreover, teachers with professional experience may help instruct students' career plan, since educational instruction in university should include career guide, considering that most of students will step into society after college life.(对学生的职业规划指导，也应该是教学指导的一部分,因为学生最终要步入社会) Nowadays, How to succeed in finding a contenting job becomes one of the most concerned issues among students. The big problems is that most students have not adapted themselves to get used to the society after college life. What they learned are not necessary in work and they don't have a clear career plan. If teachers have already worked in some occupations, they surely know what the occupation require and they will cultivate students in a clear direction so that students will prepare better for their future job. （题目讨论的是外出工作对教学质量是否有提高，没有说是否对学生就业有影响，上一段说理论联系实际可以提高教学质量是没问题。个人意见：这段偏题）(这里认为对学生的职业规划指导也应该算做教学的一方面，特别是对于大学生)

However, not denying the merits of professional experience, it doesn't apply for all disciplines. Many theoretical and artistic researches are focused in university and institutes. Only in such ivory tower, they can concentrate themselves in research. If a theoretical physicist is sent to work in a mechanical plant, he/she（貌似不确定人物性别是可以这样用画线表示吧，从范文里面看到的)
just can gain nothing to help research but waste time. And with respect to
some liberal disciplines such as history, it's as well meaningless to force teachers to work outside for them to imporve quality of teaching instruction。since knowledge in university is in a higher level than outside, teachers can hardly gain any new knowledge to renew teaching contents and imporve quality of instruction.（难道仅仅因为学校的学术水平必社会高，教师外出工作就没有意义么？我觉得校园的学术发展对于带动社会的发展还是很有意义的，所以作者这里忽略了到底站在谁的立场上来思考问题。另外历史学家也可以参加考古活动，这也是很有意义的事情，所以这句话举例不太贴切，论证也存在漏洞）(这里说的无意义，主要是说外出工作不能有效提高理论研究和文艺方面老师的水平，从而对教学质量的帮助很少) What's more, It's counterproductive to send all teachers to work outside, this compulsory action may result in resenting from teachers.

Actually, there are already some channels for teacher contacting with outside world. Some university will organize students to pay a visit to factories. College teachers are frequently invited to plants and exchange perspectives with engineers. Some institutes are established in order to enhance the cooperation between university and local industry. In my opinion, These actions are more practicable than requiring teachers working in professions, although which are relevant to the course they teach.

Last but not least, It's essential for college and university to keep up with outside world, thus the quality of instruction can be promised, which is both beneficial for students and teachers. However, there are various measurements to accomplish this destination. We should choose a more practicable way to realize it rather than forcing all teachers working outside.（这里还是只是讲更新知识的必要性，并且没有和quality of instruction联系上，再加上开头也没有注意这一点，给我的感觉是作者没有很好的把教师外出工作和教学质量之间联系起来）(最后加上一句，知识同步能够保证教学的质量，防止偏题)
3# NEU公孙轩辕

十二国记UID: 2486274

唉，这里word黏贴过来，颜色就没了。还得再加一遍，太麻烦了！