每日一评：5.18 有让步的文章如何紧扣中心

paisleyUID: 64183

Issue47
"Society does not place enough emphasis on the intellect---that is, on reasoning and other cognitive skills."

The speaker asserts that society should place more emphasis on intellect and cognition. While the speaker might overlook the benefits of nurturing certain emotions and feelings, on balance I agree that it is by way of our heads rather than our hearts that we can best ensure the well-being of our society.

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开宗明义说明自己的观点: I agree that it is by way of our heads rather than our hearts that we can best ensure the well-being of our society. 这段围绕一个中心:对一个社会来说，精神比情感重要. [/COLOR]

I concede that undue emphasis on cultivating the intellect at the expense of healthy emotions can harm an individual psychologically. Undue suppression of legitimate and healthy desires and emotions can result in depression, dysfunction, and even physical illness. In fact, the intellect can mask such problems, thereby exacerbating them. To the extent they occur on a mass scale these problems become societal ones--lowering our economic productivity, burdening our health-care and social-welfare systems, and so forth. I also concede that by encouraging and cultivating certain positive emotions and feelings--such as compassion and empathy--society dearly stands to benefit.[/COLOR]

此处他也做了一些让步,比如过分强调精神心智, 不那么强调情感，会损害身体健康. 让我们看以下,做了这些让步以后，作者是如何回到他本来的立场上去的.
几个好句型：while the speaker might overlook……., on balance I agree that……
society dearly stands to benefit.


[/COLOR] In many other respects, however[/COLOR] (用however拉回到原来的立场),[/COLOR] emphasizing emotions and de-emphasizing intellect can carry negative, even dangerous, consequences for any society. Our collective sense of fairness, equity, and justice can easily give way to base instincts like hate, greed, and lust for power and domination. Thus, on balance any society is better off quelling or at least tempering these sorts of instincts, by nurturing reason, judgment, tolerance, fairness, and understanding--all of which are products of the intellect. The empirical evidence supporting this position is overwhelming; yet one need look no further than a television set. Most of us have been witness to the current trend in trashy talk 32 shows, which eschew anything approaching intellectual discourse in favor of pan &ring to our baser urges and instincts like jealousy, lust and hate. Episodes often devolve into anti-social, sometimes violent, behavior on the part of participants and observers alike. And any ostensible "lessons learned" from such shows hardly justify the antisocial outbursts that the producers and audiences of these shows hope for.[/COLOR]


这段话则回到了原来的立场:说明如果不强调精神智力,而让位于基于情感的本能,会有负面的结果. 同样，也是第一句话表明态度, 后面展开说. 注意这段里面列举了不少精神智力方面vs 情感本能方面的词汇作为论证,大家可以用心记一下,如fairness, equity, and justice, hate, greed, and lust for power and domination.
前半段是纯粹的说理,后半段则是举例,中间用了一个不错的过渡句,适合记不住什么宏大的名人名言或者名人事例者:只要举个大家都关心的轰动事例就可以了。这句话写的不错, The empirical evidence supporting this position is overwhelming; yet one need look no further than a television set.

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The dangers of a de-emphasis on intellect are all too evident in contemporary America. The incidence of hate crimes is increasing at a startUng rate; gang warfare is at an all-time high; the level of distrust between African Americans and white America seems to be growing. Moreover, taken to an extreme and on a mass scale, appeal to the emotions rather than the intellect has resulted in humanity's most horrific atrocities, like the Jewish holocaust, as well as in nearly every holy war ever waged throughout history. Indeed, suppressing reason is how demagogues and despots gain and hold their power over their citizen-victims. In contrast, reason and better judgment are effective deterrents to despotism, demagoguery, and especially to war.[/COLOR]
这段还是接上段的主题，同意必须重视对心智的培养. 既有总起句，又有总结句.并且引到美国的现状. 用并列的几个句子来论证。[/COLOR]



Those opposed to the speaker's position might argue that stressing cognition and intellect at the expense of emotion and feeling would have a chilling effect on artistic creativity, which would work a harm to the society. However, even in the arts students must learn theories and techniques, which they then apply to their craft whether it be music performance, dance, or acting. And creative writing requires the cognitive ability to understand how language is used and how to best communicate ideas. Besides, creative ability is itsdf partly a function of intellect; that is, creative expression is a marriage between cognitive ability and the expression of feelings and emotions.[/COLOR]

再做次让步:某些人认为过分强调理智,会损害艺术性和创造性. 但是在段内转折,认为即使是艺术, 人们也必须从规则\基础开始做起，而这些是有赖理智的,因此还是紧扣中心。[/COLOR]


In sum, emotions and feelings can serve as important catalysts for compassion and for creativity. Yet behaviors that are most harmful to any society are also born of emotions and instincts, which the intellect can serve to override. The inescapable conclusion, then, is that the speaker is fundamentally correct.[/COLOR]

总结自己的观点. 而且说的比较辨证: 原命题是”fundamentally correct”.
总之，这篇文章的架构很清楚, 开头就说明了自己的观点，后面反复论证. 而每段都有主题句表明该段的中心思想。这点很值得大家一学。美国人爱看条理清楚，把想法摆在最前面的那种表达.

文章用词非常鲜活. 大家好好体会一下. 动词用得很活. 另外，同样表示”理智比情感\本能重要”这一观念，用了很多不同的短语, 没有重复。这是很值得学习的。

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angeikimUID: 4857

鼓掌鼓掌。。PAISLEY不错啊:D

让步也是文章中避免绝对的方式，虽然。。。然后带出自己真正的观点。:)

SMMUID: 106624

真好，文章好，评的也好。

很深的一个体会是自己词汇太贫乏了。比如光知道wrong,别的不能信手拈来。结构也很好。真喜欢这样简洁而有力的文章。

thanks.

gteryyUID: 114434

确实是一篇好文章。不过就这个题目我有个疑问和大家讨论，从题目看来"Society

does not place enough emphasis on the intellect---that is, on reasoning

and other cognitive skills."它评价的是一种状态，直观的看，我会要么同意，

然后说出一些例子证明，并论证一下这样的好处，如果不同意，也是一样论证。不

过感觉作者是在说要如何正确对待两者的关系。

另外呢，我觉得除了emotion可以和intellect对立，empirical ways for

handling affairs也可以啊。。。

哈哈，突然想到用理智与情感对立两者的概念不是很好？感觉精神心智和情感之间

的关系有点暧昧。